Saturday, September 26, 2020

Dad Jokes That Went Full Dad Joke


Dad jokes are one of those things that many of us have heard, and have a hard time not loving, even when all we want to do is shake our heads and stomp the ground in frustration. For more funny dad jokes, check out these utterly delightful dad jokes.

1.

Text - Will Rodgers @WillamRodgers 3 year old: What's neglect mean? Me: Shhh daddy's playing video games.

2.

Text - Svenn Amish @amishschool Wife said I should talk to the kids about drugs so I told them how faking a back injury would usually get you some Vicodin.

3.

Text - Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.

4.

Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland It's weird how we tell kids not to lie then tell them how good the picture they drew is.

5.

Text - Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."

6.

Text - Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 I wear a clown mask to sleep just in case one of my kids has a nightmare and comes to sleep in our bed.

7.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @moooo0og35 I'm coaching my son's soccer team because it's important that he knows I'll swear at other kids, too.

8.

Text - Dad and Buried @DadandBuried I'm at my parenting best when randomly yell out "be careful!" every few minutes without looking up from my phone.

9.

Text - Justin Guarini @JustinGuarini Hang on guys, I think my toddler is getting to the good part of his four hour long story and I don't want to miss it

10.

Text - Zack @Mr_Kapowski [kid's party] Me: Can we leave? These things take forever Wife: *harsh whisper* Shut your mouth. Watch our daughter open her presents

11.

Text - Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn [finally gets the car seat installed correctly] Me: Where's the baby? Wife: In college.

12.

Text - mark @TheCatWhisprer After becoming a parent you gradually show up later and later to things until you never see anyone ever again.

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