There's nothing quite like a fresh batch of glitch in the matrix moments to send you off on a disorienting reality trip where you might be left with your head in your hands, shakily wondering whether or not this is some grand simulation. Well, simulation or not we've still got to play the game. If it were a simulation, it's kind of "nice" to know that whoever/whatever is running said simulation is also prone to fails just like the rest of us measly human beings.
Life is a grind, but we still have choices to make. It's up to you to decide whether that grind is nice and coarse or if you want it to be a smooth dust. We'd all like to run away from our problems big and small, but we can't. So all we can really do is distract ourselves for long enough that we're recharged enough to face them head on. For help with that, here are some funny tweets to bring strength and fortitude.
Two kids were spotted playing between the rooftops of two real tall buildings in the Hubei Province of China in what looks like a heart-poundingly bad idea caught on film. Reports say after this, the building manager found these kids and safely brought them down, saying he'd replace the broken locks on the doors to the roof. Dude.
As far as simple solutions go, the issue of "how do I get my chickens across this river" looks like it's no match for the beautiful simplicity of "throw a few chains across there and call it good." Add to that the chicken loading bar-like quality to it and you've got yourself some goofy looking yet effective results.
Everyone has got a theory. Being people, we're more often compelled by how true something seems rather than if there's any evidence for it. Cue people's personal conspiracies about how mattress stores are all crime fronts and handbag companies work with pants companies to deliberately make women's pockets too small. They sure seem plausible, and boy do we like to believe a weird new theory.
It really sucks that we live in a world where people want to leverage people's missing pets in order to steal their identities, but that's the world we live in. Some scammers will pretend to be your bosswhile other scammers are their own worst enemies. At least it's relatively easy to spot this sort of thing, and when we do, it provides a good chance to mess around with a jerk.
I am absolutely gob smacked. This has to be, simultaneously, one of the best and worst things that I have ever read on the internet.
This is bound to go into the story hall-of-fame along with the "SR-71 Speed Check Story" and countless others. Some of which I don't dare name. (A certain box comes to mind.)
The very thought that you could pull off a stunt like this is mind-boggling at first. But, as you start to unpack it, it begins to make a bit more sense. As long as the cats looked similar enough and acted similar enough you wouldn't question it. Or would you? Usually cats are better at bringing people together but, in this instance, they might be about to tear a relationship asunder.
While I'm impressed at this, as writer for Cheezburger and (therefore) a cat lover, I'm also horrified.
Would you know if your pet had been swapped out for a virtually identical doppelgänger?
It's a pretty funny moment when someone can't put together the two-piece puzzle that's right in front of their eyes. It takes some serious mental contortion skills to have the thought of "why can't I go in at closing time, it couldn't possibly be me who is the problem" but hey, here we are. People care about their favorite local restaurants, and they calls 'em as they sees 'em. Here are some more wild moments of entitlement and a stable owner who decimated an influencer.
Like all permanent decisions, it's usually a good idea to do your research and make the right choice when considering a tattoo. In addition to the questionable ideas, much of the frustration of tattooing is the clients themselves, especially when they're a first-timer who doesn't know what they're getting into. Tattoo artists find themselves dealing with people's tattoo choices that have them asking questions.
The writing is on the wall. We are all bored, boring people. The only thing that truly enriches our lives for a moment is seeing a goofy dumb thing on the webnets, like these random and ridiculous tumblr gems to fight the clawing boredom. That dullness is coming for you, honey baby, and the only thing that can quench that forever thirst is the likes of funny and delectable tumblr gems.
Negotiation is hard enough without one person maliciously trying to trick you about how much you're going to earn. Here's a Karen who wanted a about 4 jobs done for the price of less than one. Childcare is expensive, but it's not like lying about how much you're willing to pay is a great way to bring people in. For another wild one, here's the entitled mom who tried to swindle a babysitter with some similar chicanery.
It sucks to be wrong. But also, we can't always be right. So when we're caught in between rightness and wrongness, we have to settle into that hilariously grey area of "technical accuracy." Sure, people can tell that you're being of no help, but you don't have to accept it. Here are some more technically accurate moments that aren't incorrect.
There are few indicators of character better than seeing how someone treats animals, especially your pets. The fact that this lady thought it was reasonable to throw an indoor cat on the street, let alone a cat that lived there longer than her, is enough reason to believe that maybe the relationship isn't totally worth pursuing. The internet weighed in, and their agreement was overwhelming. For another wild one, here's the HOA Karen who complained about guide dog training.
Maybe one of the only social positives to come out of the nonstop access and interconnectivity of the internet is that the people who made the things you like can actually just tell you about them directly. Coraline was celebrated as a fabulously creepy adaptation of a much creepier children's book. As it turns out, even though it was probably too creepy, it was just too good. Author Neil Gaiman himself gives the account. For some more wonderous tumblr dives into fiction, here's Tumblr's deep dive into The Incredibles and Tumblr's breakdown of young adult dystopian fiction.
Everyone is allowed to get married in pretty much whatever reasonable venue they want. But at the same time, a destination wedding that would require taking a week off isn't exactly something that most people leap at the opportunity to attend. Is it that hard to understand that other people's priorities might not perfectly line up with yours? It's a judgement that shouldn't be surprising. And who expects their friend to save for years for something like this?
