FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 01/24/21

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Guy Who Didn't Work at Walmart Fired by Walmart Manager

This random dude wearing a blue shirt had a run-in with a manager who was eager to fire someone she didn't even recognize. This one's kind of the opposite of this chef who was hired by a law firm just to foil the security guard. Employees of huge retail chains have to put up with some strange problems at work, like this guy who got hired and through a series of mistakes, never did anything but still stayed employed for months.

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Text - O r/IDontWorkHereLady - Posted by u/mfstevenson1 12 hours ago I got fired from walmart and never worked there Obligatory on mobile, sorry about any formatting issues! About a year ago, I worked selling solar panel systems. This job required me to wear khakis and a blue polo when I was meeting customers. One particular day, after meeting with a homeowner, I had to stop by my local walmart to get more pens and a notepad for my work bag.

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Text - I pretty consistently got asked if I worked there by other customers, and I would help if I knew what they were after, but I always told them that I didnt work there, and they were always kind. So this fateful day, I grabbed my pens and paper and checked out in the self checkout section. As I was leaving, I heard someone say behind me "And just WHERE do you think you're going?" Now, a little about me...I try to mind my own business as much as possible, and dont like to get wrapped up in o

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Text - Roughly 30 feet from my car I hear again "Hey you! STOP!" I do turn around at that one, because that's typically what you say to a thief. An employee who can only be described as a Karen is marching towards me, 8 different kinds of pissed off. She starts reaming into me about how I'm abandoning my shift, and I'm not supposed to get off for another 3 hours. I'm standing there bewildered because I genuinely have no clue what shes talking about, and I try to let her know I dont work there, b

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Text - phoenixwaller 1.1k points · 12 hours ago LOL I would TOTALLY have been a bitch at that point, turned the tables and demanded to speak to HER manager. VeryVeryTexan 209 points · 10 hours ago Yeah, there was probably some poor guy about to be fired, with no idea why. 1 phoenixwaller 135 points · 10 hours ago Who knows. But good lord, what a nightmare of a person to have as a coworker. If she's like that with everybody it's no wonder she thinks people are literally walking off the job

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Text - clevercosmos 101 points · 9 hours ago If she had the power to "fire" someone (even if they don't work there) that means she's some kind of supervisor or manager. How shitty of a manager are you that you don't even know who your employees are. You'd think she'd at least know their faces, if not their fucking names

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Text - MrWhiskeyDick 333 points · 12 hours ago Don't feel bad OP. Before this Coronavirus thing happened I used to call out sick to places I didn't even work at. I've been fired by a dozen retailers I never even worked at. mfstevenson1 116 points · 12 hours ago You are my god damn hero

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Tagged: fired , FAIL , job , work , ridiculous , story , Walmart , mistake , funny , store , wrong person , boss , employee , accident , stupid people

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Karen Demands Stranger Work Shift For Store They Don't Work At

Nothing quite like getting a call from an angry Karen who you've never crossed paths with, who proceeds to bombard you with a request to turn up to work a shift for a store that you simply don't work for. Seriously, Karen. Pull it together and leave the good people of this world that are just going about their daily business alone. For another solid tale of a Karen misunderstanding check out this story about a Karen assuming that a customer worked at the liquor store she was at. Absolutely absurd and discouragingly clueless.

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Text - r/IDontWorkHereLady u/SirXanthor • 5h + Join 3 Karen demands I work shift for store I don't work for! XL Few weeks ago, was woken by a phone call at about 5:13am by some snotty woman demanding I work the weekend when I don't even work for them or retail for that matter. This is how it all went down:

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Text - 5:13 am phone wakes me up. "Hello?" "This is Terry from Bmart, Lucy you have to work this weekend!" Me trying to grasp reality as my brain is still sleeping and I dont know any Lucy, or this caller Terry. "Hey Terry, you dialed wrong number. Lose it please." I hang up the phone and almost drift back to sleep when it rings again and I stupidly answer it. Terry "You hang up on me again I will fire your butt! You are to work the weekend or find another job!!!!" No, she didn't say butt, she s

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Text - by waking me twice, I now will only work double time Saturday and Tripple time Sundays.. Take it or leave it!! Oh, don't forget, thats $15.00 an hour!! That means $30 an hour Saturdays, $45 an hour Sun...." I never got to finish saying Sunday, because this is what happened next... Terry "whly sht whly sht, I don't even make $15 an hour, why the hell do you!!!" Next thing I know, her yelling attracted other staff and I can hear yelling in the background of why the hell does she make $15 an

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Tagged: customer service , FAIL , cringe , freakout , ridiculous , Reddit , karen

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Company Won't Replace One Computer, Wastes Thousands of Dollars

There are few companies where management actually knows what's going on. This person had a nearly unusable computer that doubled as a server, and since no one wanted to actually do anything about it, the company felt the pain for the next long while. Weird how some stuff just slips through the cracks. In an opposite but similar vein, here's a guy who improved company efficiency but had that disbanded by management. For an IT triumph, here's a time when management illegally banned overtime pay but IT got it all back.

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Text - Posted by u/themcp 15 hours ago 2 45 34 8 4 You won't pay $100 for a new hard drive? Okay, enjoy paying $22k for my time to deal with the problem. oc L I had a job where I had a computer which was, incidentally, also the web server for a very important internal web application. I thought this was really stupid that it wasn't in a server room being managed by IT, but for some weird reason they wouldn't do it. I didn't use this application or have anything to do with it, but it took up a la

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Text - This application was apparently something developed by my department before I joined the company, and everyone involved with it was no longer there, and nobody really knew anything about how it worked other than that this machine had to be running and signed in and it wasn't developed in our normal system and wasn't in our code repository. By the end of my time with the company, they'd had such turnover that I was literally the only person in the department who knew it was even there. I w

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Text - It quickly got to the point that I had to call IT to tell them my PC was becoming unusable due to disk space and could they please do something about it, and suggested that because of this application they might want to take this PC into management and give me a different one. I thought they would do something like replace the computer (identical would be fine as long as it didn't have this application on it) or give it a larger internal disk or maybe even just attach an external disk (I

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Text - it'd get bad, I'd remove what I could and start a defragment, and the machine would become too slow for me to use for about 24 hours during which time I could do no work... this happened about once a week, so it took about 1/5 of my time. (Not counting time spent looking for stuff to delete.) I kept telling manglement this was happening, and they kept telling me to shut up and deal with it, but at least when they wanted me to do stuff and it was "I can't, my computer is busy clearing disk

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Text - So, because IT was too lazy to do anything and manglement was too lazy to go to bat for me and the company was unwilling to spend $100 on an external hard drive, they got to spend over $22,000 a year on salary for me to sit around and wait for the machine to make some space so I could do my work. (That wasn't my salary. That was the portion of my salary that they were wasting on this problem. Not counting the value of the time of everyone else that had to do my work while I couldn't.)

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Text - Oh, and it was getting to the point that I wouldn't be able to deal with it at all (there wasn't anything left to delete and defragging wasn't reclaiming any more space and the company's internal software took up more and more space every day and I estimated I had about a week left before it became fully unusable), when I had a heart attack and a stroke and never went back. I occasionally think (with, admittedly, some glee) of the panic it must have caused when they no doubt turned off th

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Tagged: management , employee , work , efficient , lol , computer , ridiculous , dumb , company , stupid , internet meme

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Stupid Life Pro Tips That Are Bad Ideas at Best

With just a few simple strategies, you too could look like a moron and ruin your life. Dumb and bad life pro tips will help you go out of your way to antagonize people, live a horrible life, and be sad all the time. There's no reason to not streamline your life with a few bad life pro tips to not do. What's stopping you? Other than decent judgement.

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Text - Mayne @Tradermayne How I made it $150k trading. 1- took a small loan of $300k from my dad. 2 - put it into high risk shit coins 3- lost half, got scared, decided it was ime to cash out 4 - blocked my dads number 5 - net profit of $150k secured

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Text - Tweet Sir Michael @Michael1979 Tech tip for people who aren't as tech-savvy as me: When you press the h button on your keyboard, you get a lower-case h. But what if you want an upper-case h? Easy! Just go to the wikipedia page on horses, copy the upper-case h and paste it into your document. Problem solved W Article Talk WIKIPEDIA The Free Encyclopedia Horse Fi Соpy Ctrl+C Search Google for "H" Main page Print. Ctrl+P tion). Contents 2:40 AM - Dec 19, 2019 - Twitter Web App 13.2K Retweets

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Text - Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it's probably not worth it

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Wood - How to avoid stress at work: 1. Don't go to work.

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Joint - what to do when your car starts making noises that sound expensive 5.

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Coat - Wendy Burn @wendyburn I didn't know you could wear a coat more than once. This will save me a lot of money. C Page Six @PageSix · 3d Kate Middleton re-wears blue Alexander McQueen coat for fourth time trib.al/imzsA53

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Liquid - Need to increase your sodium intake? Buy a block of the metal from a chemical supplier and mix some into your water at every meal

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Human - Xmas tip: Put your boyfriend at the side of your family in case you need to cut him out of the picture later

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Text - Registered trademark of SexyCo @. · 1d v Give yourself permission not to be accessible at all times. Ignore that voicemail. Leave that message on read. Turn off your phone. Don't answer emails. Destroy your SIM card. Burn your house down. Disappear under mysterious circumstances.

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Blue - Quicksaving... I have a crush on you Just say it already Sorry I don't feel the same RELOAD LAST CHECKPOINT Aa

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Text - r/UnethicalLifeProTips u/Disastrous_Plankton • 47m の1 ULPT: Trying to find the perfect partner? Just tell the police someone robbed you, and when they ask for a description just describe exactly the sort of person you find most attractive- they"ll get a bunch of them in a lineup for you. 1 Vote 7 1 Share

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Green - Don't have a Bidet? Keep a water gun by the toilet for easy cleaning

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Chin - $25 worth Chris- For christmas, I got you of lottery tickets. 1 went ahead and Scratched' them off for pu. You won $2. Here is that $2. Merry Christmas! Nicole RENBRVENOTE THE UNITED STATES OFAMEI D. 5 E E 758702 E 75870211 E O ONE E 734 5

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Cheek - Man whoever stole my card thought they was finna get a meal outta me, surprise l'm broke too 8:14 7 CCHIME 3h ago Your was declined for $37.95 at Papa John's because your balance is $1.47. 35 more notifications

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Human - Pro Tip: when ice fishing, bring an action figure of yourself to exaggerate your catch

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Text - Fiona Applebum @WrittenByHanna It's not premarital sex if you never get married ツイートを翻訳 9:53 · 2019/07/23 Twitter Web App 8295件のリツイート 3.6万件のいいね Fiona Applebum Follow me for more biblical loopholes @WrittenB... 3E 3 27 27 379 >

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Indoor games and sports - Chess tip: Always sit opposite a mirror so you can sneak a look at your opponent's pieces 818

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Finger - Claudius @xclaudius Sleep Hack: Keep Your Feet Outside Your Covers By Melissa Dahl

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Motor vehicle - The lesson here is drive everywhere at 180. 50 (70 90 180

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Mode of transport - Leave full Beers all over your driveway tonight so whenu are shoveling tomorrow you can pretend it's a treasure hunt and reward yourself ! 557,201

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$Bread - 2 months ago (edited) Stupid of you to cook the bread at 350° for 55 minutes when you can just do the math and cook it at 19250° for one minute. 5.6K 1 148 148 REPLIES$

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Blue - I copied from Wikipedia 11:12 pm To avoid plagarism, I deleted that Section from Wikipedia 11:12m

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Food - PROTIP: SAVE TIME BAGGING PASTA JUSTADD GELATIN TO YOUR PASTA WATER AND LET SET. CUTINTO DESIRED PORTION SIZES, JUST DROP, INTO HOT WATER TO HEAT AND DISSOLVE GELATIN:YOU'RE WELCOMĒ.

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Font - 25m Remember that if your cpu is overheating you should run it under cold water for 5 minutes. It's called water cooling and it's what all the pros do.

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Tagged: tips , bad idea , life hacks , advice , lol , dumb , funny , shitty life hacks , stupid , internet memes

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Company Insists On Server Not Being Fixed, Massive Fallout Ensues

Some people and companies really are their own worst enemies. In this particular tale of tech support absurdity we get to sit back and witness the inevitable fallout of a company insisting that their faulty server shouldn't be fixed. This story also shows the importance of getting everything in writing. Those emails can end up being very helpful when it comes to keeping the incompetent folks accountable for their self created failures.

Check out some more tech support glory with this man who insisted that he knew better than IT and then learned otherwise.

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Blue - r/talesfromtechsupport + Join u/MorpheusJay • 1d 3 3 S 7 1 8 1 Don't want me to fix the servers? Fine. Long First time posting in this sub. Cross-posting because I was told you might enjoy this. Background - some time around 2000, I worked for a major finance/brokerage company in the IT department.

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Text - I worked the overnight shift alone and (among other things) my responsibilities included monitoring of the companies most important servers INCLUDING the trading servers as well as performing almost all repairs on these servers since my shift was the least impactful on business. These servers were how every trade from every broker worldwide was processed on behalf of clients. We had 8 servers all behind a load director. For those non-IT people, think traffic at an intersection with a cop

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Text - So at some point doing my job, I begin to notice issues with our trading servers. I determine the cause, come up with the plan to repair the failing parts. On the first night of the week, I will take down 2 servers, repair them, bring them back up, and put them back behind the load director. I will repeat this for the next 3 nights allowing all 8 servers to be repaired with minimal impact and have the last night of the week in case anything goes the way of the toilet. Understand that whil

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Text - As you can probably guess, I heard nothing back. 2 weeks later I follow up with another email reminding her of the issue and including all the documentation I had sent with the first one. Nothing. Another 2 weeks go by and I send a 2nd follow-up email noting that this isn't a question of IF these machines will fail but only a matter of WHEN. Crickets. Another 2 weeks go by. It is now about noon on Friday and I am home having just begun my weekend. I get a call that goes something like thi

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Text - Cathy: It's Cathy. Your boss. Me: OHH! Heya Cathy. What's... oh this cannot be good. (I am now realizing that my boss's boss is calling me at my house and that all the excrement must have followed an upward trajectory towards the device circulating air.) Cathy: All the trading servers have crashed. We need everyone on hand. Me: I'll be there in 20 minutes (It was usually a 35 minute drive) Basically, one server crashed and the load from that server was transferred to the remaining 7 which

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Text - I get to work Sunday night (my Monday) and the first thing I do is print out emails and those oh-so-precious read receipts. I place them in a nice folder on the corner of my desk. At 7AM Monday morning (end of my shift), Cathy walks into my office and asks me to join her in her office. I say sure and grab the folder and follow her. When we get to her office, present are me, Cathy, Dawn and a lady from HR. Cathy: So, MorpheusJay, I understand from Dawn that it is your job to monitor the tr

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Text - Me: Sure. (Opens folder) As you can see from this email dated xx/xx/xxxx, highlighted for your convenience, I notified Dawn of the problem and requested approval to go ahead with the fix. Here... (opens folder again) is the read receipt showing she read it the following morning at xx:xx AM, again, highlighted for your convenience. (Rinse and repeat for the other emails) Cathy: Ok. Thank you, MorpheusJay. Have a good night. We'll see you tomorrow morning. Fallout: The company lost a STUPID

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Tagged: tech support , FAIL , technology , ridiculous , Reddit , funny

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Unprofessional "Not My Job" Moments of Failure

Most of us will do whatever it takes to avoid doing our actual jobs. For some, it's almost a challenge to see how much we can get away with not doing. Our drive to not do any actual work leads to some impressive "not my job" moments of professional ineptitude. Toilets get installed sideways, billboards get crammed with typos, and things go awry in these "not my job" moments of professional failure.