Tuesday, September 22, 2020

"Disney Channel Intro" Goes Wrong


And just like that, Meghan's dreams of hosting the Disney Channel were dashed. Whenever doing any kind of waving around, it's best to keep an eye on what's going on with your limbs. That sound is gold

Submitted by: (via thatsideofutube 2)

Tagged: beer , explosion , FAIL , lol , dumb , funny , Video

Weather Presenter Says He Isn't Rick Astley Fan, Rick Is Listening


Behold the petrified look of a weather reporter who got blindsided by Rick Astley himself. Fortunately, Rick Astley seems like a cool and understanding dude who doesn't pitch a fit when someone doesn't like his music. 

Submitted by: (via BAX)

Tenant Gets Inconsiderate, Stomping Neighbors Fined


Man oh man, inconsiderate neighbors are just the kind of thing that can drive the most rational, even keeled folks over the edge. Especially if you approach their antics with kindness and try to play nice, and they throw it right back in your face. Fortunately, this tenant was able to take the kind of successful petty revenge that resulted in their neighbors getting penalized with a righteous fine. Job well done. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/gloriaj10 • 1d Getting My Neighbors Fined In my previous apartment I lived on the bottom floor with two roommates. The girls who lived above me were really noisy, playing loud music at all hours of the night. Music doesn't really affect me much but to my roommates it was really annoying. They called the of and one of the office workers asked them to quiet down as there was a complaint. A couple days later I heard really loud thumping and jumping from my ceiling. I

2.

Text - I left my apartment for a couple of hours and when I came back the ceiling lamp had fallen from the ceiling. These apartments came with that lamp so we would have to pay for it if it's broken. When I asked my roommates what happened they said the girls above us were stomping so hard that it had broken off from the ceiling. They were in the room at the time so you can imagine how scary that is for the ceiling lamp to just fall out of nowhere. My roommates called maintenance to fix the lamp

3.

Text - By now these girls knew that they were being too loud too late at night. I could see if it was the weekend but it would be during the week. So one night I decided to call the police because the office wasn't doing anything. I heard the officer speaking to them and they fed him the same excuses they fed me. After he left they decided it would be funny to get back at me by stomping extremely loud. I knew that they were doing it on purpose because it was louder than it had ever been and it w

Submitted by:

Success! Or Fail - Episode One


One of the best things about life is that sometimes, well, we don't actually make a mess of our existence and fail. Sometimes, we actually succeed at navigating this wild rollercoaster that is existence with those rare qualities like grace and ease. Let's take a hot second to celebrate those magical moments that weren't utter failures. 

Submitted by: (via Fail Blog)

Common Skills People Simply Don't Possess


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the common skills that people don't possess. Some of these might strike a chord, and make you feel better about the struggles that could be plaguing your existence. Struggles like not having the self control/awareness to know when to stop talking, or maybe something more intense like a condition called prosopagnosia, which is trouble recognizing faces like none other. These also might make you feel just a little bit more grateful for all the common skills that you otherwise took for granted. 

1.

White - waapplerachel • 16h Knowing when to shut up. Reply 1.9k ...

2.

Text - 1 Award Wrapping presents. I watch videos every time but I still can't do it. Reply 1 4.3k ...

3.

Text - numbskull56• 18h 2 Awards Snapping my fingers :( Reply 3.4k ...

4.

Text - TonyStark39 • 17h Weirdly, being unable to end a conversation on phone. Like, if unprompted, I just wouldn't know what to say to end the conversation. Reply 1 1.2k ...

5.

Text - short_fat_and_single • 15h 2 Awards I have prosopognosia, which means I have problems recognizing faces. I can only recognize people I see often or people who stick out visually. People with no distinguishing features are super hard, I call them smooth lookers. I usually fake it until I understand who they are mid conversation. My only real problem is movies where several actors have the same main features. Didn't that guy die? Reply 2.9k ...

6.

Text - Shoey_master6382 • 17h 2 Awards Having a conversation. I never know what to say and I'm always too nervous Reply 1.4k ...

7.

Text - SJ2390 • 17h I can't whistle, snap my fingers or do a cartwheel. Reply 5.6k ...

8.

Text - dekehairy • 16h After braces and jaw surgery, I still am unable to bite through things with my front teeth. I have a 4mm gap between my top and bottom teeth. Carrots, nope. Celery, nope. A simple sandwich with the trademark toothy bite mark out of the corner? Break out the fork and knife and look like a lunatic. I completely identified with the guy on Seinfeld who ate a Snickers with a fork and knife. Reply 1.1k ...

9.

Text - Skyhawk_Illusions • 14h Drawing. My hands simply can't translate my mind's eye. Reply 292 ...

10.

Text - TarantulaPets • 17h 1 Award Singing. I've had crows bring me worms when l've sang outdoors. Reply 1.2k ...

11.

Text - picklesupreme • 17h 1 Award Bike riding. I can't whistle or swim either, but I feel like I'm missing out on the most by not being able to ride a bike Reply 1 430 ...

12.

Text - the_loyal_spartan • 16h Staying quiet until the other person stops talking....I'm an interupter Reply 864 ...

13.

Text - Gapingyourdadatm • 15h The ability to do mental math. I simply cannot, it's a learning disability. I need a pen and paper or a calculator in order to do any math that is more complex than adding or subtracting one or two-digit numbers. Reply 1 3.2k ...

14.

Text - canohughess • 16h 1 Award despite being a little girl in the late 90s and early 00s, I can't braid for shit Reply 765 ...

15.

Text - jordisj44 • 17h The feeling of time. Like day feels like night night feels like day. When I'm tired I'm tiered etc Reply 348 ...

16.

Text - uriejejejdjbejxijehd • 17h Folding laundry properly. I can do an acceptable job, but l'll never achieve the easy perfection my wife casually displays. Reply 1.1k ...

17.

White - Valyris • 17h Interacting with new people. Reply 1 1.2k ...

18.

Text - eggy_delight • 16h Shuffling cards. I have to literally (LITERALLY) mash cards together and pray they shuffled enough to be played Reply 329 ...

19.

Text - arxero • 16h S 1 Award Snapping my fingers, and I really don't care enough to learn. And every time I tell someone I can't snap my fingers, without fail, they go "Really!? It's so easy!" *snap s**na*p ***nap snäp snappity fucking *sn*ap snAP SnaP sNæp snáppy °na° snap sñãp snap Imao haha lel lol *ap snAP SnaP sNæp snap snap snap... all up Imao *sn*- in my fucking face. Reply 359

20.

Text - Consistent_Racer • 16h Doing a fake accent, like british, people make it seem so easy. Mine is terrible. Reply 182 ...

21.

Text - PlamEv • 16h Converting food into energy and not just storing it as fat immediately after walking by a fridge. Reply 248 ...

22.

Text - Avicii_DrWho • 17h Math skills. Who decided to bring letters into math! Graphs are my archenemy. Reply 207 ...

23.

Text - blaz3_tired • 17h 1 Award How to tell what's left and right Thank you all for all the suggestions l'll make sure to try them all Reply 199 ...

24.

Text - 100LittleButterflies • 16h I cannot walk and drink at the same time. No matter how hard I try Reply 36 ...

25.

Text - PezAnt90 • 17h 4 Awards The ability to understand any instructions that aren't 100% crystal clear, it's like my brain shuts down trying to figure it out

26.

Text - cuoyi77372222 • 18h sense of direction. none. at. all. Reply 1.2k ...

27.

Text - dawrina • 16h Sleeping I envy people who can sleep soundly all night long. I'm such a light sleeper I wake up at even the slightest disturbance. I also sweat massively in my sleep so I always wake up drenched. I usually have a fan pointed directly at my bed and it's like 50 degrees in my room. I also sleep with 1 blanket. No comforter or sheets. I either sleep like 12 hours or 4 hours. There's no inbetween. Reply 371 ...

28.

Text - finnwicke • 16h I can't spit. Going to the dentist is always embarrassing when they say you can swish and spit. For me it's more swish and awkwardly spew from my lips. Reply 25

29.

White - loritree • 17h The ability to drive a stick. Reply 85 ...

Submitted by:

Liars That Tried To Lie And Failed Miserably


We'll never know what compels people to use the internet as a place for all their laziest, plain old weakest lies. It could be some pathological hunger of the ego that's just bent on adding more fuel to its delusional fire through recognition from the online world of achievements/stories that were pulled right out of thin air. Fortunately, the wild west that is social media also has some folks that are committed to upholding the truth, and calling out the BS as they see it. 

1.

Text - ... Despite her moving to LA me and Alanah have been trying to open our hearts to one another again. I still can't believe I actually dated her for what was thee best and most healthy year of my life and thee healthiest relationship I have ever been in, in my entire life. She is thee most amazing ess aske person I've ever met and thee most famous girl l'veenough ever dated lol! I love you Alanah Pearce and hope we can return to where we once were, back when day so my dumbass tried to groo

2.

Text - Alanah Pearce @Charalanahzard bruh damn just found out i'm in a committed relationship with some dude who i guess asked me for a picture once but apparently he has enough money to buy the entire IGN staff lunch every friday so it's going great thank you all for your love and support xx Traduzir Tweet 11:17 PM · 15 de set de 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 522 Retweets 93 Tweets de comentário 19,5 mil Curtidas

3.

Text - One of my homegirls painted this of me!!!! Dang I am soooo fine!!! Be great!!! Like · Comment - Share - 10 hours ago via Instagram and 8 others like this. Your homegirl must be an expert at filtering. 10 hours ago via mobile · Unlike 4

4.

Purple - My danger noodle's heat lamp burnt out, so I knit him this sweater while I replace it. I think he likes it! Vote 21 Share Award SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL Now Guess we have twin snakes with the same sweater lol

5.

Text - Hey It's 13:22 How're you doing? 13:22 Hey, where do i know you from? 13:25 / We met during the carnival 13:46 Yeah no, we didn't, how did you get my number? Or are you just texting random numbers? That's creepy! If you want to get to know people, get yourself a dating app. 13:50 /

6.

Text - Nein, I'm not texting random people. You gave me your contact when we meet but my phone got broken and just got a new one and I just wanted to say Hi 14:01 Okay, i'm sorry, in what City you think we met? 14:05 / 14:06 I live and study here in 14:06

7.

Text - What about you? 14:07 Okay, so you got my number from 14:16 / Yes I remember, sorry 14:16 I needed a room and a friend sent it to me 14:17 Is it still available 14:17 It was in südstadt? 14:17 No it's not. Please delete my number! 14:19 A

8.

Text - ... COW 22 h Hi Jo, thanks for reaching out! We love feedback, whether it be positive or negative, we especially love feedback like this so others can see the type of people we have to deal with sometimes. First of all, I'll address the "£700" that you and your party claim to have spent... now, we both know this isn't true don't we, Jo... it's not even remotely accurate as to what you spent, but l'll crunch the numbers for you.

9.

Text - Our most expensive pizza on the menu is £9.00, this means that if you ordered only pizzas, you'd have to order 77 of them to be even close to spending £700. You didn't order 77 pizzas, Jo. But let's talk drinks... the most expensive drink we sell is a double gin & mixer at £6.10, this means you'd have to order 115 of these to be even close to spending £700. You didn't order 115 double gin & mixers. So let's split the difference, seeing as you had spent the "£700" on both pizzas and drinks

10.

Text - So seeing as you are having trouble with your memory & maths, I went over our point of sale system this afternoon for you, along with viewing our footage of your party on CCTV and our copy of your receipts. What you & your party spent, Jo was a far more realistic and believable £280 (£225 on 5 rounds of drinks and £55 on 8 pizzas). If you are going to lie, embellish, or try to fabricate a ridiculous narrative about your time at our bar... at least make it a believable one. Not going great

11.

Text - With the ironic exception of the young adults that were with your group and one or two others, you all acted like belligerent, entitled little toddlers from the moment you walked through our gates. You wanted to make a reservation for 3 tables, we informed you this wasn't possible on a Saturday night for a group so large, but if you turned up the moment we opened at 4pm, you'd get the tables you'd requested. At 4:30pm you showed up with the tables you wanted already taken, but not to worr

12.

Text - bags of party bunting you brought with you. We allowed members of your party to bring in food from other venues to circumvent their food allergies. We cleaned up all the smashed pint glasses you broke and birthday cake you dropped & smeared all over our tables & benches, and tolerated the many loud family rows you were having with each other. Rather than treat our staff like human beings that are just trying to earn a wage, you decided to treat them like your own personal servants, clicki

13.

Text - warned by our door staff about staying seated and observing social distancing, of which you refused to do either. You were the loudest, most obnoxious group in the whole bar, just being a nuisance in general and other customers were starting to complain about you at this point. Then, for your party's grand finale, the gentleman in the blue shirt headed into our bar from outside and decided to vomit everywhere but the toilet. Our staff stepped into to help, but you demanded to "deal with t

14.

Text - communicate with you or help. (don't worry, the staff member that you nearly had in tears earlier on cleaned it up for you) We'd love to have the reviews feature on our page turned on, but people like you are the very reason we don't, because there is no way to negate them once they are left, whether they are a fair review or not. Nobody... not staff, door supervisors or myself had barred you that night, after all, nobody was hurt, and we've all drank too much and regretted it the next da

15.

Text - back, apologized, been given the "don't let it happen again" speech we've all had at one point or another and we'd have all moved on, but no... instead you ran straight to the internet, played victim, and told a pack of lies. So now consider this your official barring... don't you or your group ever set foot through our doors again. Also, as a side note, you were pretty much anonymous to us, nobody knew any of your names. But now you've formally identified yourself by checking in to our b

16.

Text - Hucknall's pubwatch scheme, so you can expect some pushback from all the other bar owners, landlords & venues throughout Hucknall on your next visit. My only regret was not kicking you all out sooner. To anybody else reading this who would like to view exactly how not to behave in a bar during a global pandemic with heavy social and footfall restrictions in place, (or how not to behave in public in general) pop along to the bar and l'll gladly show you the highlights of our CCTV footage w

17.

Text - Sorry for the long post, folks, but this needed addressing. Lots of love as always. 100753TICE **Quick edit** ed team won't be making any more The comments or responding on this thread. Jo and her party were rude and belligerent

18.

Text - customers during their visit to us. Jo then followed this up by checking herself into our bar via our business page and left a fabricated public review full of lies and half truths the following day, and she was dealt with via our right to reply. Please don't take our response or this post as a green light to harass or bully anybody involved. As far as we are concerned, the matter is now over.

19.

Text - Went here yesterday for sister in laws 50th lovely little bar- spent approx £700 between us on drinks and pizza - to be served by some members of staff with awful attitude - to be told we must drink up and leave can't come back because one member of our party was too drunk - to be them apologised to because someone had told them we were all too drunk - take in to account the money we had spent - to be them told half and hour later the owners wanted us out as we had stood up - bearing in m

20.

Cheezburger Image 9553701888

21.

Cheezburger Image 9553702912

22.

Cheezburger Image 9553703168

Submitted by:

Creepy Warning Signs That Do Their Job Well


There are a lot of hazards out in this big world of ours. There are unexploded mines, vipers, bees, big holes, radioactive caves, cliffs and biting monkeys. A sign doesn't even have to explain itself that much. There are a lot of spooky signs out there that say a lot with their creepiness. Sometimes those dangers get to the point where the warning signs are patently absurd.

1.

Advertising - DON'T BE A NORMAN NINE FINGERS THESE ANIMALS BITE

2.

Tree - NO SWIMMING VERY COLD DEEP WATER ! YOU WILL DIE ! JEPSIN A

3.

Text - POWER ON CutawiRETYOU DIE AZIO V HARD AF 4740V

4.

Text - DANGER Deep aerated water This water has no buoyancy You will NOT float

5.

Wall - DANGER SUDDEN DROP DANGER SUDDEN DROP SNOA

6.

Technology - IPORANT HAS THIS CELL BEEN III PURGED I! AND III CONTAINED I!I

7.

Nature reserve - Due to recent shark activity please follow these SAFETY TIPS. • Know your surroundings. H1. Co ed • Do not swim near seals or Grea schooling fish. Pond 5i. deS • Swim close to shore in waist -16H deep water. DMP • Avoid swimming at dawn and dusk. • Swim in groups. Thank you - Town of Harpswell Report shark sightings to the Department of Marine Resources, Sergeant Wesley Dean, 207-542-0026 or wesley.dean@maine.gov

8.

Sign - EX Do not open in an explosive atmosphere!

9.

Vegetation - A CRIME WAS COMMITTED HERE. TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT.- ARMES VHL VANDALS TH

10.

Nature reserve - WARNING TO PUBLIC DANGER FROM UNEXPLOLED SHELL AND MORTAR BOMB5 ANS NG HE TRAINING AREAMUS MOVE OL RIGHTS OF NAY. ON NO ACCOUNT SHOULD ANY OBJECT BE MOVED OR TOUCHED IT MAY EXPLODE

11.

Canidae - Always stay with your children. Be dingo-safe. Si658

12.

State park - DANGER WATER LEVEL RISES SUDDENLY WITH EXTREME TURBULENCE WHEN SIRENS SOUND, EXIT THE RIVER IMMEDIATELY For water related issues, call 877-816-7466

13.

Text - Warning] Wild Monkeys might Shatch your belongings or bite you. Take precauti ons against monkeys. • Do not a white plastic bag. carry (Monkeys know food inside.) have If you one, keep it inside of your bag. Do not take a photo against wild monkeys. Monkeys might attack you. • Some Troubles happened aroun this area. (Especially, little children and women might bé targeted by wild menkeys) Do not feed Wild Monkeys.

14.

Street sign - STATE PRISON NEXT EXIT ela DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS

15.

Street sign - WARNING KEEP OUT

16.

Gas - A WARNING THIS MACHINE MAY LUNGE BACKWARD, WHICH COULD RESULT IN PERSONAL INJURY OR DEATH. STAY AT LEAST 25 FEET CLEAR OF THE AREA BEHIND THE MACHINE.

17.

Window - FÓOD SHORTAGE COMING HO

18.

Banner - Yosemite National Park National Park Service U.S. Department of the Interior AREA CLOSED DO RA TER NAT EN

19.

Leaf - ま心しに注意。 淀川工事事務所

20.

Grass - CAUTION LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT LOOK BOTH WAYS AT STOP AHEAD

21.

Green - IT'S THE LAW! UP TO $250 FINE elay age e C

22.

Text - BE CAREFUL FIRE DOOR DO NOT BLOCK EVERY MACHINE IN THIS DEPARTMENT IS DANGEROUS NOTICE NO SMOKING KEEP MATERIAL AWAY FROM THIS FIRE DOOR SO THAT THE DOOR WILL BE READY FORINSTA NT USE AT ALLTIMES

23.

Yellow - WARNING KEEP AWAY Extremely cold gas may be exhausted with no warning. Danger of cold burns and asphyxiation.

24.

Label - A WARNING Rotating shaft can cause severe injury Keep hair and loose clothing away CHR951023

25.

Transport - Supporti The Hills RADIOACTIVE IN CASE OF ACCIDENT CONTACT LOCAL POLICE 7.

Submitted by: