FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 12/23/20

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Guy Gets Panicked Call From Mom, Checks Her Car, Bear's Chillin Inside

Just in case you needed another friendly reminder on the value of locking your car doors, let this guy's investigation into seeing what could've set off his mom's car alarm be a lesson to you. With that being said, this has to be one of the most historically chill reactions of all time.

Submitted by: (via goinupthegranby)

Tagged: surprising , wtf , bears , parenting , mom , Video , animals

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Chef Marco Pierre On Throwing Out Guests

If you've ever found yourself looking for a proper rundown on why rude and entitled customers should rightfully be kicked out of a restaurant, look no further. Infamous Chef, Marco Pierre, beautifully breaks down why he threw out guests like he did. Basically, this is the manager that all the Karens of the world need to meet.

Submitted by: (via Ephemeral Solidity)

Tagged: customer service , FAIL , cooking , ridiculous , funny , Video

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Reporter Confronts Preacher About Lavish Lifestyle

Just in case you haven't already seen this, Kenneth Copeland is notorious for leading a ridiculous lavish lifestyle, while arguing with possessed eyes that "it's for the ministry." Apparently the ministry really loves things like private jets.

Submitted by: (via Inside Edition)

Tagged: religion , FAIL , cringe , ridiculous , preacher , Video

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Dumb Boss Cuts Chef's Overtime, Ends Up Paying Anyway

In order to get things done, you need people to work for you. And in order for people to work for you, you need to pay them. It's a simple formula, but managers have an extremely hard time grasping that. Why is it so difficult? Here's another incompetent manager who forbid overtime and ended up paying for it.

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Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance · Posted by u/CopChef 18 hours ago 11 4 3 S 14 E & Change me from hourly to salary to cut my pay. ОK... oC L This takes place in the "before times" when people could eat out and gather in large numbers. I used to work as a chef, for an owner who liked to micromanage things and was a bit narcissistic. I'd been working there about 3 years, getting good reviews, customers loved me, updated the menu. Made everything from scratch, people used to think the place was open

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Text - The increase in sales and income went to the owners head. He was always spending money on frivolous things and squandering cash. Sound system, stage for the event space, ect. One example, I needed a new Alto-Sham, a used one would have sufficed, nope he bought the top of the line one that could be used as a smoker too $12k vs what I wanted could be gotten used for $1,500. Granted I enjoyed that piece of equipment, which after I left they no longer use the smoker function. Years later I st

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Text - So to save money he puts me and my Sous on salary effectively cutting my pay by about $10k a year. My Sous netted a loss of $2k/yr, if we were to work at our current level of effort. During all of this the owner is saying he is not expecting us to work over 40 hours a week, EVER. He even has this written into our contracts. So with the extra time off at home with family it is ok, I still like the job and my staff. During the slower time this was great. Also during this time I had won a lo

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Text - Just prior to the holiday season my Sous wants to go back to his home country for 2.5 months, November, December & January peak crazy time for us. I have good help and am good with it, owner approved the time off. Owner thinking I am gonna save him some $$ that holiday season by working my usual 70-80 hours a week. Nope, cue the malicious compliance. I start writing the holiday schedule, Sous is on vacation, I have my 40 during key prep times and peak business times. The rest if my staff

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Text - running pretty smoothly until the owner realizes I'm not there like I always am during the holiday rush. He's in the kitchen more trying to micromanage my staff, giving them poor advice contradicting my directions and timing for events, screwing up the small parties my staff could handle while I am off. After a few weeks of this he realizes he's going to be paying the staff out more in overtime than he saved on moving me and my Sous to salary. He starts demanding I work more hours to stop

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Text - Now with my Sous returning, I'm burned out from the constant micromanaging & gaslighting by the owner I hand the reigns to my Sous and change careers after 25 years in the industry and never look back. TLDR, micromanaging owner cuts my pay by $1Ok a year to save money, due to owners stupid spending habits. Says in contract not required to work over 40hours a week. Busy holiday season only work 40, rest of kitchen staff gets overtime, and no money is saved.

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Tagged: boss , manager , restaurant , lol , dumb , overtime , stupid

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Winter Life Pro Tips To Glide Through The Season

Someone on AskReddit got a helpful, informative AskReddit thread going about various winter life pro tips that can help any of us weather the next round of wintery days with grace and as little stress as possible. Just look at this collection of helpful factoids as your own guide to avoid unwanted fails.

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Text - NAbberman • 5h Keep a prepared kit in the back of your vehicle. Hell, keep it in it at all times. All are useful for every season, but when you add winter to the equation things get deadly. Should include this as a bare minimum: -Blanket -Jumper Cables -Light amount of dry food with some water -Flashlight -Something reflective -First Aid kit -Single use Handwarmers -Spare Clothes

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Text - RodeoBob • 5h Drink more water! In the summer, you don't need to be reminded to drink water and hydrate. But in the winter? You're wearing layers to wick sweat away from your body, the humidity in the air gets really low, and you're not feeling hot, so you don't always remember to drink enough water. Drink more water; kidney stones are no fun!

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Text - WallabyJones509 • 6h You may think those hand warmers are uselesS, but trust me there's situations where you'll really wish you had them. Always keep a pack on you.

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Text - JessyLeigh2796• 5h Lip balm and hand cream!!

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Text - Lost_Gypsy_ • 5h Put the window insulation kits on. You lose up to 55% of your homes heat through windows. This will drastically help your electric bill and minimize the draft. My wife is working on it today actually, and I will finish when I get home.

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Text - ItCameOutOfACan • 6h Nylon base layers are by far the warmest but so hard to find now.

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Text - moderate_extremist • 5h When you're really cold and shivering a bit, you'll find your shoulders are tensed up and elevated. Relax your shoulders and bring them down to your sides. It's weird, but it makes you stop shivering and feel much warmer.

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Text - InannasPocket• 5h Layers are your friend, but cotton sucks because it doesn't keep it's insulation value when wet/ damp. Wool, silk, and some synthetics will still keep you warm even if they get wet.

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Text - caddywhompus12 • 4h If you live in a place with snow, make extra sure to wear sunscreen on sunny days, as the snow can reflect it even more than usual/ without snow.

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Text - HiddenLayer5 • 2h Drinking alcohol does not warm you up. You actually lose heat a lot faster with booze in your system.

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Text - defnotmartha • 3h Keep a set of ice spikes in your purse/backpack/ etc. I live in Ottawa and we get a lot of freezing rain and ice. I have a little pocket in my purse where I keep set of spikes, and while I usually only use them 2-3 times a year, it really saves me, and let me walk places with reasonable confidence at a time when other people are all falling down. Falling might seem kinda funny, but ice is really hard and you can seriously hurt yourself from a fall on the ice. I also keep

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Text - GeraldFord210 • 2h When walking on icy surfaces, think like a penguin. There is a reason penguins walk how they do; it keeps them stable on the slippery surfaces they are accustomed to walking on. Take short steps. Keep your arms out to your sides for balance. And it is counter-intuitive, but lean slightly forward while you are walking. This will help you keep a good center of balance and reduce the likelihood of slipping and falling.

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Text - Dawashingtonian • 5h the air in winter is really really dry. both inside and outside. just because there's snow doesn't mean it's humid. also with heaters running now the air inside is dry too. this is why people get chapped lips and stuff in the winter. drink lots of water, always have chapstick.

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Text - the-magnificunt• 4h Hang your bath towel above/below/near (but not on) the heating vent in the bathroom for a toasty warm towel straight out of the shower.

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Text - beermeneer2 • 2h The BIGGEST UGLIEST COMFIEST WOOLEN SWEATER YOU CAN FIND

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Text - DomMaserati13 • 5h Keep a cheap sheet or tarp on top of your car overnight, if it snows you can immediately just pull the snow off in the morning super easy as opposed to spending 20 minutes brushing it all off and ending up looking like Tony Montana after a night out

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Text - _frisco • 4h Get a "sunrise" alarm clock, AKA an alarm with a light that gradually brightens before the alarm goes off - it makes it a little easier to get up in the pitch darkness of winter without wanting to throw up

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Text - derpado514 • 4h Become a regular at a good Pho place... Pho is like pure goodness and you get some rare beef too...can't go wrong.

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Text - avorrh • 4h Go outside in shorts and tshirt every so often. Take cold showers, or at least end your shower with some cold water. Cold weather acclimatization is a thing, trade a little bit of suffering now in return for a lot less suffering later.

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Text - Ande64 • 4h Sun. No matter how freaking cold it is get sun. Sit by a window ten minutes a day, even if it's cloudy. Amazing antidepressant.

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Tagged: seasonal , helpful , life hacks , askreddit , winter , knowledge , Reddit

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Manager Tries To Embarrass Employee, Hits Self-Destruct Button

You know the revenge was of a professional manner when the manager ends up literally quitting. It sounds like this particular manager was all kinds of incompetent. When they went ahead and brought that report to the attention of the rest of the office, they in no way anticipated their employees fighting back like they did.

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Tagged: satisfying , manager , revenge , awesome , Reddit , win

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Man Downs Whole Cup Of Cuban Espresso, Teleports To 5th Dimension

Just in case you were thinking about shaking up your daily caffeine fix with something new and magical, this Cuban espresso story should absolutely serve as a cautionary tale to never underestimate, well, a Cuban espresso. This dude unknowingly purchased a fast pass to the fifth dimension as he downed a full Cuban espresso. Fair to say that he's humbled at this point.

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Text - 8 mins So, here's the story about how my day got absolutely destroyed just as it just began. Another guy from another company here at the Port and I get along quite well. I got here early to the port to get a head start on some of the days work, and he tells me, "Hey, I got some coffee in the shack over there if you want some".

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Text - Me not being the one to turn down a free cup of coffee, especially this early in the morning, I accept it. I go in there and drink the cup of coffee. That's where this gets bad. Now mind you, at this point in time, he

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Text - had a cup of coffee in his hand, and he said there was coffee in his office. I get in there and see the cup and I figure it's just an extra cup of coffee that someone didn't want or something. Holy shit, was I wrong. As I quench my thirst and down the last sip of the black, robust, but tastily sweet coffee, he comes into the shack with little shot glass sized plastic cups and says, "Hey, I forgot these in my tru-" mid sentence he notices me throwing the cup away and his mouth falls open.

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Text - styrofoam cup along with small, plastic demitasses to share with other people. You see where I'm going with this? As he sets the mini cups, demitasses, down on the table he starts to laugh and at that point I had begun to realize my whole perspective on this plane of existence, is about to be flipped upside down by the pure octane/adrenaline fucked Cuban deliciousness in my veins. I had just drank a whole cup of nothing but pure 100% Cubano espresso. To give you a perspective, a shot of C

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Text - It is now 10:30, almost a good 2 and a half hours later and my legs still won't stop twitching, I've pulled forty-two, 40 foot shipping containers across the port with my bare hands, and I can see and smell colors. O Like Comment Share

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Tagged: crazy , surprising , caffeine , coffee , ridiculous , espresso

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Student Writes Joke Essay About Flat Earth, School Takes It Seriously

Man this student sounds like they'd be a prime recruit for the Flat Earth movement. They wrote a joke essay about the earth being flat, and the school ended up taking it so seriously that it manifested in them implementing a whole bit about the earth actually being round, into the curriculum. I'd say mission accomplished in the way of the student playing a solid little prank.

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Tagged: academics , flat earth , ridiculous , tifu , education , Reddit , funny

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Weird Crimes People and Their Families Did

Everyone's sense of morality is different. Sometimes people steal stupid stuff for the thrill, or get caught up in extremely specific counterfeiting operations. None of these things are things any of us should be doing, but they still happen. And sometimes people only later learn that something is illegal after the fact.

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Tagged: wtf , strange , crime , crimes , illegal , weird , law

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