FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 06/14/20

Sunday, June 14, 2020

Apartment Complex Tries To Pull Fast One On Tenant

Capitalism at its finest. This tenant found themselves staring down the unwanted scenario of an apartment complex trying to turn their units into condos, after luring folks in with low rent. So, as the story goes, the tenant basically sets up a marketplace for the use of the complex's laundry machines, and ends up commandeering some of the apartment's income. Beautiful work, really.

Check out another revenge story with the time that a landlord wouldn't pay for electricity during winter, so they ended up having to pay thousands.

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/OnlySlightlyEvil • 2y Apartment complex pulled a fast one on me; I commandeered some of their income. This happened quite a few years ago. I decided to move from Texas to the midwest in April to be closer to my father who had prostate cancer. The previous October, I came up to visit and go apartment hunting, and I found a complex I liked in a decent location. They wouldn't let me reserve an apartment six months in advance, so I had to wait four months before filling

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Text - So April finally arrives, and I arrive at the leasing office with my U-Haul packed to the brim. (Moving is such a fucking pain in the ass). I go in to get my keys, and amongst other things, the woman explains the washer/ dryer situation to me: There's a laundry room on every floor, each with 2 washers and 2 dryers. The machines don't take coins, they take "tokettes" which are wafer- thin, shield-shaped plastic tokens. Each wash and each dry is 1 tokette. Tokettes are $1 ea. They're sold o

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Text - hours so l'm not usually awake in the afternoon. And who wants to waste time with checks? It was all very inconvenient, so I bought a pack on the spot. I get to my apartment and take the tokettes out of the envelope to examine them. Embossed on the back is the manufacturer. I research the manufacturer and find a distributor. I call the distributor to inquire about prices and availability. A box of 1000 costs $58 + $10 shipping, and they were in stock. Wowza! So I ordered one box and had i

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Text - Fast forward to August. There are letters on everyone's door notifying residents that the building is going condo and that tenants had first dibs on purchasing their units, or the units would be sold and we'd be at the mercy of the new owners. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I'm gonna be honest with you, I wasn't even fully unpacked at this point. I never would have gone to the trouble of arranging for housing from across the country at this complex if l'd known l'd have to either purchase the apar

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Text - So later that night, I put signs on everyone's door: "MOVING SALE! Laundry tokens 50¢ each! Get 'em while you can!" My phone started ringing at 7 am. I made over $300 that day. I immediately ordered a few more boxes, then put signs up in every building on the property the following week. My phone started blowing up even earlier that time.

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Text - I moved out at the end of my lease, but the orders kept coming in. I'd divvy up each new box of tokens into little zip baggies in 10-, 20-, 25-, 50-, and 100-count increments. My customers' phone numbers were stored in my phone by building address and unit number. When they called, something like 4100 #215 would show up on my caller ID. They'd tell me how many they needed, l'd deliver to their door. I was like a drug dealer. I made several deliveries a week for a year. But then the machin

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Text - In the end, I made about $3,000, which means I bilked the complex out of +$6,000. I have no idea if the sharp decline in token sales was the impetus behind the switch. TL;DR: Apartment complex lures me in with low rent, turns the tables on me and goes condo, I hijack their washing machines. Edit: Someone in the comments asked me to prove it, so here it is:

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Tagged: satisfying , revenge , awesome , Reddit , karma , win , apartment

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Tumblr Thread: Elves Are Flat Earthers With Scary Eyes

This fun Tumblr thread has physicists banding together to illustrate the absurd reality of what elves eyes might look like, while factoring in the curvature of Middle Earth, while they're at it. The resulting picture is an unsettling one, for sure. All in all, it's fun to see how ridiculous things can turn out when logic is applied to a fantasy world.

Get some more Tumblr fun here with this dog that figured out how to herd Lawn Roomba.

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Text - O colonelmagpie Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks Evidence: Q2S.12 In J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings (volume 2, p. 32), Legolas the Elf claims to be able to accurately count horsemen and discern their hair color (yel- low) 5 leagues away on a bright, sunny day. Make appropriate estimates and argue that Legolas must have very strange-looking eyes, have some means of nonvisual perception, or have made a lucky guess. (1 league 3.0 mi.) colonelmagpie Updat

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Drawing - 0.035 M= 3.5cm %3D i Legelas' pupls. eve 35cm indiometer. bagolos! Whot do your Elf-eyes see your THE Y'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD Science!

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Text - colonelmagpie I'm going to do it. I'm going to hand it in. glumshoe Legolas's pupil size isn't the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can't see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 1

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Text - ontologicalidiot @sidereanuncia it's back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares sidereanuncia I shall never find peace. Also, for what it's worth, there's absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth. sindri42 There's no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

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Text - solwardenclyffe Yeah there is. The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor. But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it. So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic. sindri42 So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That's awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf

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Text - lady-of-greenwood Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post a-bore-of-a-whore Elves are flat-earthers cheattoe This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

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Text - yourownpetard This post really was a rollercoaster. odinoco for elves it was a straight line Source: sidereanuncia #oh hey it's this post :'d #it mutated since i last saw it .. See all

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Tagged: drawing , physics , tumblr , Lord of the Rings , ridiculous , funny , funny tumblr

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Untrue "Facts" People Were Told In Complete Seriousness

There's a lot of people walking around with their heads still full of garbage they heard on the bus in 6th grade, and they're more than willing to tell you with full confidence that bears lay eggs. From absurd falsehoods to nonexistent laws that people insist are real, people are willing to say some absurd things in complete seriousness.

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Text - the_krusty_cl0d 493 points · 18 hours ago My grandma wasn't very happy with the fact that I'm vegetarian so she tried to convince me that fish were vegetables. .. I still can't help but laugh because she wasn't even joking

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Text - aBucketofChestnuts 7.6k points · 20 hours ago My roommate tried to convince me that there are Chimpanzee-people in the jungle because isolated tribes are getting it on with the monkeys. I tried to explain how species reproduce and quickly realized he thinks you can bang a horse and get a centaur.

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Text - psych_edelic_survey 7.4k points · 19 hours ago It's possible to breathe underwater. She then tried to demonstrate and snorted a bunch of lake water up her nose. She was 14 at the time.

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Text - a_guy_named_gai 5.2k points · 19 hours ago Peacocks dont have sex. A female gets pregnant when it eats the teardrops of the male.

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Text - downhereforyoursoul 3.9k points · 19 hours ago An old boss explained to me one day that hearing men sing causes women's brains to release some kind of sex hormone that makes us crazy. This is why girls and women screamed and fainted over the Beatles back in the day and why we get all hysterical at concerts. He said it in this really condescending tone, too, like he was dropping some deep knowledge on me that I probably wouldn't understand, but that's how he explained most things anyway. F

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Text - Alarmed_Brick 3.9k points · 18 hours ago · edited 7 hours ago Not me but my mum. She was walking with a group of friends on a popular trail in the UK. She has quite an outspoken friend, let's call her Sally. The group saw a number of Chinese tourists taking pictures of the sheep along the trail. One of the group asked; "I wonder why they are all taking pictures of sheep all the time." To which Sally replies; "It's because they don't have sheep in China" The group all believed Sally, and t

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Text - fazedpan 3.9k points · 18 hours ago I was told random strangers would offer me drugs my whole life.

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Text - USPSA-Addict 3.4k points · 19 hours ago You can get black lung disease from overcooking the marshmallows for s'mores.

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Text - 69schrutebucks 3.0k points · 19 hours ago My cousin's wife told me that blue eyed babies can't wear Pampers diapers because they're all allergic.

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Text - InannasPocket 2.9k points · 19 hours ago Africa is one country. We had literally just finished a geography segment about the countries in Africa.

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Text - Keefer1970 2.9k points · 18 hours ago The band name "KISS" is an acronym for "Knights In Satan's Service." "AC/DC" = "Anti-Christian Devil Children" "Slayer" = "Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot" ..all told to us without irony by a Sunday school teacher, circa 1987

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Text - MeiMei91 2.8k points · 19 hours ago "soap makes the water molecules smaller, that's how it cleans"

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Text - onioning 2.7k points · 19 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago Goats lay eggs. A several minute argument followed, and I did not convince him he was wrong. I work in meat processing. Not that that's necessary to know that goats don't lay eggs, but it just made the argument all the more ridiculous. I'd literally seen goats born live countless times, and yet he argued. Edit: I also worked at a caviar bar for a while, and many times had to hear from people who were horrified we were eating dolphin

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Text - Foolscap77 2.4k points · 20 hours ago I always like "if they are undercover law enforcement and you ask, they HAVE to tell you!"

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Text - I_throw_socks_at_cat 1.8k points · 17 hours ago The shape of the banana and the way it fits your hand so well are proof that god exists. He stopped using that argument when one of our co-workers pointed out that dicks fit hands pretty well too.

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Text - ToxicMasculinity1981 1.6k points · 16 hours ago This is a story that is too long to type in full but I once got into a disagreement with some random dude at an A&W because he thought that 1/4 (one quarter) was more than 1/3 (one third). His reasoning was that since 1/4 has a four and 1/3 has a three, and 4 is one unit higher than 3 then 1/4 is more than 1/3. The worst part was that in order to prove him wrong I asked the cashier girl which weighed more, she didn't know. Then I asked the n

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Text - shaka_sulu 1.5k points · 19 hours ago North Carolina can't be in The South... its has North in its name!

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Text - atlantis_airlines 1.4k points · 18 hours ago I was talking to a guy at the bar and he was telling me how soap is unnecessary for washing your hands. All you need is a combination of hot water and cold water. Not warm. But use both cold and hot. I did not shake his hand.

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Text - iffyiffyyahyah 1.4k points · 20 hours ago My mum told me Michael Jackson died from eating too many potato chips, in an attempt to get me to stop snacking..

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Text - DisneyDork1313 1.3k points · 18 hours ago My ex argued that fossils weren't actually old and those creatures never existed, they were just stuck there to confuse us.

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Text - RedHotChilliFeta 1.3k points · 18 hours ago · edited 11 hours ago "The internet is in the sky." I explained how it's in the ocean. They ganged up on me and said “It's called the 'cloud' because it's in the sky, duh!" It was 3 of them vs 1 of me. I walked away ʻlosing' the debate. There's power in numbers folks.

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Text - TreePretty 1.1k points · 18 hours ago A woman I worked with a long time ago told me that her proof of Christianity being the correct religion is that it was the first one.

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Text - LOB90 931 points · 18 hours ago When you go to Liverpool and start singing a Beatles song, everybody will join in like it's some Disney movie. The guy was dead serious.

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Text - Scamperillium 789 points · 18 hours ago Someone once told me that it never snows in the state of Washington because 'its on the west coast'. Same person also told me that she doesnt believe in gravity because "if it was real, wouldnt the sun just suck up the moon?". She was 24 when she said these things to me.

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Text - eraser_dust 733 points · 19 hours ago My dad believes "nano silver" cures everything & truly believes in his “nano silver" throat spray. He says kings & emperors in the past drank from silver cups & that's how they had long, healthy lives. Er. No they didn't. They had mostly short, often disease riddled lives.

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Text - RealityTimeshare 662 points · 19 hours ago La Quinta is Spanish for "next to Denny's". I thought they were making a joke. They were not.

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Text - AggressiveResult2 594 points · 18 hours ago That men have one less rib than women, and that alone disproves evolution.

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Text - TaintTickle86 507 points · 19 hours ago That you can live off drinking sea water because Gatorade has sodium in it. I was telling this dude about a guy who was stranded out at sea for awhile and survived by drinking rainwater and shark blood or some shit, and dude was like "why didn't he drink the sea water? Gatorade has sodium in it and it's fine. It's a myth that you can't drink sea water. Probably so they can keep charging people for drinking water."

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Tagged: untrue , wtf , facts , absurd , ridiculous , false , dumb , stupid , belief

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Tumblr Thread: Game Warden Who Let Poachers Reel Him Up In Scuba Gear

There's taking your job seriously and then there's laying in wait underwater so you can grab ahold of a an illegal fishing line, get reeled in and scare the crap out of poachers. For some other weird history, here's the very fast story of the first soldier to take way too many military grade amphetamines.

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Facial expression - Terry Grosz was a fish and game warden that caught illegal fishers by waiting in the Eel river in a wetsuit and reeled himself in when the fisherman cast out their lines. After writing citations and confiscating their fishing rods, he went back into the river and swam away. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com

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Text - ULTRA ultrafacts Source: [x] Follow Ultrafacts for more facts! theawesomeadventurer okay but this is a power move above any other hoseph-christiansen It gets even better, because he was doing all of this on a pitch black night. This dude swam towards a lure, slapped at it with his glove, and when it got caught; he let himself float and tugged on the line so the fisherman thought he had hooked a 100+ pound salmon. Once he was finally up to the shore, he turned a flashlight on in the guy's

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Text - At this point, the guy who had reeled him in had literally fallen over in shock, and the other people with him were scared shitless. The warden whipped some citations out of a plastic bag in his wetsuit, made the trespassers sign them, asked if they had any questions, and then gathered all of their fishing gear. And he just. Walked back into the river. And quietly swam away, without another word. This man is a legend. do-you-have-a-flag warden coming out of his river to shame fishermankin

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Tagged: caught , wtf , fishing , tumblr , lol , ridiculous , illegal , funny , epic , brave , hunting , win

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Tacky And Entitled Wedding Fails

We've assembled a batch of the world's most tacky, entitled, and trashy wedding fails. Whether it's bridezillas issuing out ridiculous, delusional demands, or senseless invitations from one cheater to their bitter ex; weddings are filled to the brim with people acting crazy. Maybe love is what drives all the craziness.

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Text - Thread mandy Gross so my Ex and my former best friend are getting married and l'm credited on their wedding website with introducing them, but the catch is I was DATING HIM at the time. I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

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Text - As much as we would love for you to attend, sadly, our venue can not accomodate everyone. We are sure to keep you in our hearts in this celebration of love If you would like to congratulate the bride and groom, rather than a registry, they are accepting money to aid in a beautiful honeymoon.

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Text - Неy If you weren't informed by Mike, it's mine and Christian's wedding next month! If you're buying us gifts, the requirement is to buy us gifts above $250 For either me or christian So what you are saying is that you want something OVER $250?!?! Yep Well then, don't expect me coming Delivered We have Beer! Cocktails? Cake? Well then, you're losing because we have SO0000O MUCH people here that've confirmed

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Text - ... 50 mins I need helpe There's a child coming to my wedding in 8 days and I've just been told she'll be coming in a lions outfit. She's refusing to wear normal clothes. I don't want to seem a bitch but I don't want that. Everyone was told smart clothing and I don't want people looking at my photos and saying "oh there's someone dressed up as a lion" when the focus should be on me and my almost husband. I've said I don't mind her wearing it in the reception, that's fine it's basically a

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Text - * Kelz @Keli_Kelz I got an invitation to my cousin's wedding. She's getting married to the man I was engaged to. (He cheated with her.) My aunt (cousin's mom) is trying to convince me to go to the wedding because "family is all we have." This. Plot. Is. Basura.

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Text - I don't know how she stayed so long. ME IKR! He's insufferable ME I'm not sure why she married him in the first place Did I ever tell you how he proposed? TODAY ME Oh god, how did he propose? He said they met at a bar He proposed ate's sisters wedding reception. They weren't invited to the wedding. They showed up and he proposed in the middle of the dance floor.

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Photograph - One wedding guest took the rule of not wearing white to a wedding and ripped it up, deciding to wear a full-on bridal gown to her friend's big day.

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Tradition - Is that Thanos? OF SD You and 362 others 37 Comments

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Text - ull ROGERS ? 7:53 PM O 13%( ... 1 hr · A Ladies I need advise. I'm so stressed right now I feel like l'm going to get sick. My friend (and bridesmaid) just found out her husband is MOST LIKELY graduating for the state police academy the day of my wedding. She pretty much just told me to make the decision for her as whether to back out of my wedding and possibly not even be there at all or not go to her husbands graduation. I totally wanna be like "uhm excuse me it's my wedding day I think

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Product - Mens urinal $150 My hubby made these for the men to use at our wedding MENS

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Text - April 30 at 6:17 PM Call me spoiled or needy but my husband knew what he was getting into the day he told me he wanted to marry me. Now l'm super super picky when it comes to my jewellery it all has to match so if l'm wearing silver it'll have to be silver if I'm wearing gold it l'll have to be gold if l'm wearing Rosegold everything has to be rose gold so I technically have three engagement rings I have the first string that he proposed to me with which is silver with diamonds and then I

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Text - Zola Community ... 31 mins · A Alright girls & guys.... I need a good laugh (And more or less to feel normal so I don't throw myself out off the hypothetical wedding planning bridge) What is the most absurd question you've been asked? (or comment that's been made) by someone in regard to your wedding? #makemelaugh #becauseivehearditall #covidornoncovidrelated #icannotwithpeople O Like Comment 3 Although horrific, l'm out of emotions to do anything but laugh at this point. My fiance and I

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Text - MY MOM WOULD BOOK A TRIP TO SPAIN ON THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO HAVE WEDDING!!! 2 She can't get a refund either so now she asked me to move my date around. What in the actual fuck. Lol.

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Text - 8:17 1 Wedding Planning 6 mins I I need to vent. So my future step daughter will be getting braces soon. Our wedding is May 23rd, the appt is for May 7th. I'm upset because I had braces just a few years ago and you smile weird for the first few months and braces photograph terribly and she's 11 so she will probably get bright color bands. Her mom says there is no way that she is changing the appointment that it's ridiculous I would even think that she should. My FH says I'm being ridiculo

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Photo caption - This dude straight up rented a llama for his sister's wedding. She does not look as thrilled as he feels. 10:05 AM · 3/4/20 · Twitter for Android 4 Retweets 29 Likes 45m Replying to She looks like she been knew, but mad at herself for not believing he'd actually follow through

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Tagged: trashy , FAIL , wedding , ridiculous , bridezilla , Reddit , funny

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Dumb Design Fails that were Someone's One Job

If you've felt like you've done a bad job with something before, don't feel bad, cause someone has most likely done worse. You probably didn't include an inconspicuous "shart" in a sign, and you probably haven't buried a fire hydrant in cement. There are too many impressively unprofessional "not my job" moments and sloppy design fails out there to even compete.