Sunday, January 3, 2021

Sorely Mistaken People Not Getting Satire


Even though satirical news has been around for decades, people still have a really hard time parsing out fact from fiction. Sometimes they'll write-off a absurdly funny headline as fake news. Other times they'll react with appropriate shock after reading a "report" that the gates of hell have been opened. It's funny, but also kinda really disappointing when sadly mistaken people don't understand satire.

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Camera - HERO4 GOPro THEHARDTIMES.NET We Strapped a GoPro On A Bee to See Why Bees Are Dying And Boy Did We Find Out Quick b Yea cos it definitely wasn't the go pro . 23m 24 likes Reply View previous replies (1)

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Font - And this is one reason why I'm vegetarian CLEARVIEW TV NEWS SALE OF HUMAN FLESH RESTAURANT IN NEWYORK GETS GOVERNMENT APPROVAL YOUTUBE.COM Restaurant in New York given approval to serve Human Meat 14 Comments Like ל1 Comment Share I've seen you devour some tacos,

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Poster - The Onion @TheOnion 240 Killed In Stampede After Bucketful Of Oscars Just Dumped On Stage trib.al/0YTHAQE #Oscars angy @trinzion · 1h Replying to @TheOnion I'm watching the Oscars and that didn't happen. You Fake News websites will do anything for clicks!

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Text - ull TESCO @ 42% 20:23 Tweet The Onion @TheOnion · 25m PornHub Announces Contest To Allow One User Under 18 To View Content trib.al/EyRr1mh rn hub 17 309 32 2,433 o silva 9 @f13xay Replying to @TheOnion The person who had this idea should be arrested 20:12 22/01/2020 · Twitter Web App Tweet your reply

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Text - 4 hrs · 0 THEHARDTIMES.NE Friends Tearfully Loot Gamer's Corpse at Funeral to Pay Respects O Like A Share Comment and Nobody should be touching a deceased persons belongings other than the next of kin. That is a HUGE disrespect to the family. Doesnt matter what sign of respect it supposedly shows. That's not for spectators to decide or to do. 44m Like Reply this is a satire article lol Like Just now Reply

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Text - Mom Taco Bell Warns Employees Against Directly Exposing Skin To Food theonion.com Mom ate the onion НАНАНАН ОMG It's a funny article though Mom 's teacher's bulletin board. A bit scary for It was on Fire extinguishers are involved! Mom The onion Mom do you know what the onion is?

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Product - BABYLONBEE.COM New Smart Doorbell Will Argue With Jehovah's Witnesses, LDS Missionaries For You 2 Shares 3 Comments O Like Comment Share Ok, I wanna know how you "detect" a Jehovah's witness??? |Exactly! Smell? Visual ID of suits? Maybe... See More

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Font - 2020. Yesterday at 09:02 · : Please tell me this isn't accurate! Custom pens to sign the Articles and dancers! If so, l'm totally convinced this woman is a Crazy!! DE BABYLONBEE.COM Somber Impeachment Ceremony Concludes With The Impeachment Dancers O Like Comment Share

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Text - 8:59 8 O 45% Tweet · @TheOnion · 3m 8th Grader Impregnated During Trip To 'March For Life' Event trib.al/mOgipWE The Onion STOP ABORTION 27 35 17 220 dante @DaNolans Replying to @TheOnion I don't understand how this is even newsworthy, but fortunately she has a good head on her shoulders and won't kill her baby 8:57 PM · 24 Jan 20 · Twitter for Android Tweet your reply

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Face - 1 hr - This is so much worse than when she told us that Buffy the Vampire Slayer voted for Mike Pence on a write-in ballot CLICKHOLE.COM Overstepping Her Bounds: J.K. Rowling Has Announced That Daenerys From 'Game Of Thrones' Has Crohn's Disease 2 Comments O Like Comment Share Ummm none of her business to tell people? Here's one: J.K. Rowling has demenia! Like Reply 15m

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion 10h Victoria's Secret Introduces 3-Inch Patch Of Satin To Place Anywhere On Body trib.al/7SQHA3M ULTIMATE ANGEL PATCH VICTORIA'S SECRET 17 109 22 1,372 Replying to @TheOnion Truly ridiculous. 12:35 AM 31 Jan 20 · Twitter Web App

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Text - 2:38 [3 2:38 Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee 2.3M views 10 years agO 42K Share Download Save 1.4K The Onion SUBSCRIBED 1.49M subscribers El Gran Capuchono • 1 day ago I am a smart boi, and i know the pain it is when adults just be like talking and they do not even let you talk, kids have much smarter opinions than adults, they just don't have the words to express it. And these two idiots that interviewed that boi were like, "aRE u sUFfeRing" and kept liek that un

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Text - 1 97% 4 ll AT&T LTE 5:34 PM Tweet The Onion @TheOnion - 1d Impatient Man Forced To Wait To Have Sex Until Wife Finished Giving Birth trib.al/YdMqrsi 27137 37 1,655 ASCHI Zach @theSecretBarn AKTION Replying to @TheOnion Jesus Christ men are trash 5:07 PM · 1/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone Tweet your reply 16

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Motor vehicle - What a dope like i About this website WATERFORDWHISPERSNEWS.COM James Corden Accidentally Mows Down 11 Children During Carpool Duet

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion 1h DNC Offers Startup $500 Million To Develop Pencil That Can Accurately Record Election Results trib.al/7Qduu5T 27 2,572 81 10K Replying to @TheOnion ?? pencils already exist. why wouldn't they just use a normal pencil? 7:21 AM 05 Feb 20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Naval architecture - @TheOnion · 2d Coronavirus Fears Prompt 200-Foot Surgical Mask To Be Mounted Over Docking Cruise Ship trib.al/01e06Ac The Onion 17 420 31 3,257 Replying to @TheOnion I hope our taxes arnt paying for that! Ridiculous! you can't even make this stuff up 12:21 PM 07 Feb 20 · Twitter Web App 1 Retweet 3 Likes

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Text - Boating - CHASER.COM.AU Fire fighters start elite rowing club to attract a bit of government funding 10 1 Comment 3 Shares O Like Comment Share Sad state but do what you have to cheers Like - Reply · 14h

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Text - Text - Nation Terrified After Millions Lose Consciousness For 8 Whole Hours Last Night 68,512 views dondoy2000 • 5 years ago ugh! its called sleeping! hahahahah :)))) Obiter Dicta • 5 years ago It's called freakin SLEEP! 3 7 replies ...

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Text - ll vodafone UK ? ClickHole 18:24 100% @ClickHole 3d What Was He Going For? Dr. Phil Wore A Fat Suit On Yesterday's Episode Of His CLICK HOLE Show But Just Sat There Without Addressing Any Body Positivity Stuff clckhl.co/Q4MVBNS Dr. Phi 27211 8 2,194 Gogobr8 @gogobrasil8_br Replying to @ClickHole With a show as heated as his, I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot some stuff he was supposed to address. I mean, wouldn't you? Tweet your reply

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Text - Photo caption - @The... · 11m The Onion O Authorities Abandon Search For Missing Girl After Finding Huge Bass While Dredging Lake trib.al/KT92¡ZO POLICE 27 114 878 10 Truth Teller @marthaHigh Replying to @TheOnion exactly ...the fake news media 23:43 · 25 Jan. 20 · Twitter Web App

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Text - Photo caption - ClickHole O @ClickHole · 23m HOLE Major Disappointment: J.J. Abrams Has Revealed That Finn And Poe Are Both Gay, But Don't Really Vibe With Each Other Romantically clckhl.co/C27NDM2 CLICK 2] 336 1,557 6 SU & TROS SPOILER. V Catherine | @Caterfree10 Replying to @ClickHole and @shaun_vids ..are we supposed to be happy with this sorry excuse for representation? 12:15 PM 15 Jan 20 · Twitter Web App

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion New Evidence Reveals Library Of Alexandria Kicked Out Dozens Of Creepy Old Romans For Looking At Pornographic Images On Abacus trib.al/ Yg6Wp2m hollavin Replying to @TheOnion this doesn't make sense you cant see pictures on an abacus.

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Horse - theonion Cow In Really Great Shape This is a fuckin horse dude 1 like Reply Jm

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Cartoon - BABYLONBEE.COM Thanks To New Laws, VeggieTales Finally Introduces New Cannabis Character O Like A Share Comment T. oh thank god 1h Like Reply

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Job - THEONION.COM Xi Jinping Vows To Combat Coronavirus By Making It Illegal To Mention Within A Week O Like A Share Comment How exactly is it going to be eradicated if people stop talking about it??? Like Reply 27m

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Entitled Model Gets Ghosted, Cannot Handle It


After this guy paid the tab and left a bad date, his date had some strong words about what she feels she deserves. Then she started throwing out accusations about theft and claims of body guards. It seems like a real treat to deal with. What is it they say? Sometime's someone's just not that into you. And maybe for good reason. Sometimes people can't handle it when they don't get what they feel like they deserve, like this classmate who demanded to have a project or this gullible jerk who got trolled demanding free art.

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Text - 7:35 LTE Jordan > Yesterday 9:30 PM I'm way out of your league physically, mentally emotionally I can't even believe this right now Never in my life I also model for maxim. Who the fuck are you to leave me at a bar You're clearly taking this personally. You're a catch, just a catch for someone else. I just didn't feel the spark. I'm sorry if I offended you. Super offensive You literally left me to get harassed so many people came up to me after What about me were you not into? I have ever

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Text - 7:35 LTE Jordan > you at the bar. That wasn't my intention. My body guard is freaking out bc my braclet fell off He's prob gonn text you I have a team w me that sat behind us Lol I didn't take your bracelet. Did you go out after? Seems like I dodged a bullet here I'm embarrassed I even wasted my time on an average looking guy but I thought maybe that would render a nice one My body guards are going after you Your acting like an immature child Very glad I made the choice to leave. I've bee

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Text - ll LTE 7:35 Jordan > Lol ok good luck My guards told Me you stole from me I didn't see it. But they did Seriously Jordan. All I said was I wasn't feeling a connection. Now your making up some lost bracelet and a team of bodyguards lol. If you actually lost your bracelet that sucks, but I had nothing to do with it. Please move on. I'm not making up anything. I have bodyguards that are with me at all times and see things I mean your making a funny story for me to tell my friends You have li

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Text - ll LTE 7:36 Jordan > I've continued to be nothing but respectful as you've been reacting immaturely to me just saying their wasn't a spark I could give two shits what you think. I am wayyyy out of your league. You were intimidated that I'm a strong woman from a super wealthy family You're a pussy You're going to be famous on reddit On what? Has anyone ever broke up with you before? We went on one date for about an hour, had two drinks, and your reacting like this? Making up stories about

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Text - 7:36 LTE Jordan > Okay, well l'm going to go to sleep this was fun. Well have to do this again soon. The last way you should ever treat a woman is by leaving her by herself at a bar. You should be ashamed of yourself You made it awkward by your reaction so I wasn't about to stick around as you were making a scene. It was a crowded bar you were fine. And my guy friends are putting a PSA about you on their profiles now to alert other women Lol Warning he may not feel a connection and want a

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Text - 7:36 LTE Jordan > None of that had anything to do with it. I simply didn't feel a strong connection. Why are you taking this so badly? Lol then you might as well feel something with a trashy girl Bc you wasted my time, that's why I'm mad You knew I was a class act going into it Your class is shining I know You're posting our conversation on a website? Do I need to take legal actions? If I were you I would stop making a fool of yourself, apologize for reacting immaturely, and get some slee

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Text - 7:37 il LTE Jordan > I'm not. Don't threaten me with posting things online What are you posting? I'm sorry for freaking out and getting my BG involved but threatening me with posting online is not ok I do apologize. Please do not post something negative in my name Jesus Jordan leave me alone I'm trying to sleep Ok tried to actually have a conversation No need to You're posting things about me online? I will if you don't leave me alone Don't threaten me KI'm cool with Iuet calling it done

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Text - 9:52 LTE Done 3 of 5 Jordan > I do apologize. Please do not post something negative in my name Jesus Jordan leave me alone I'm trying to sleep Ok tried to actually have a conversation No need to You're posting things about me online? I wil if you don't leave me alone Don't threaten me K I'm cool with Just calling it done That's really mean Good night. 2nd date tomorrow? Or you can just come over tonight? Delivered Wish ya the best. Goodnight iMessage

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Text - This is the personal security team of Jordan and her protection personnel: when you abandoned her at the bar to be mugged or raped because you are clearly the inferior human and she is clearly out of your league did you steal any of her expensive jewelry from her? Lol is this a joke? No I did not. Lawyer up Her bracelet you took is 12.4k Look child. I had nothing to do with whatever your accusing me of. Sad that she is taking rejection so immaturely and you are joining in on the fun. Do n

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Text - Do not threaten anyone Lol your the one threatening me. You girls are crazy Do not try to ruin her life are you crazy 2 No one is ruining anyone's ife. You girls are making fools of yourselves that's about it. Now I'm going to sleep now and i suggest you both do the same. What are you posting about her?m Text Message

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Tagged: crazy , wtf , liar , ghost , date , demanding , model , entitled , dumb

Terry Crews And Amazon Echo Terrify A Couple


Those Amazon Echos can get you, man. This couple experienced quite the shocking moment when the husband had unknowingly paired up with the Amazon Echo, while watching a video with Terry Crews in it. While the initial and mysterious booming voice might've been some kind of terrifying, can you imagine if Terry Crews was actually in their kitchen? 

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Text - Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProject I present to you: How @terrycrews Almost Killed Me, A Thread. 5:09 PM - 1/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... · 3h v Replying to @TheNYAMProject So last night, the hubs and l are in bed watching TV. I ask my husband to pause the show so I can go to the bathroom. I go, come back, and right as l'm getting settled in, we hear a deep, booming voice scream from our kitchen. 01 26 Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... · 3h v We freeze. My husband stares at me and asks if I heard that. You mean the hysterical yell booming through our kitchen? Yes, bruh. I heard it. We sit and

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Text - Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... 3h v So at this point, I'm shaking. Our kids are asleep, and that voice wasn't a kid's voice anyway. It was clearly a grown ass man. The camera that looks over our driveway conveniently had a dead battery. Fuck. Someone broke into our house. Fuck fuck fuck. Q2 26 Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... · 3h v My husband hasn't moved. For some reason he's looking at me. I don't know what he wants me to do. Nervously fart the guy to death? All the knives are in the

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Text - Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... · 3h v Then my husband, this dingleberry who I love so very much, suddenly says "OH I KNOW WHAT IT IS" and proceeds to show me that his goddamn cell phone is still connected to our Amazon Echo via Bluetooth. The screaming was Terry Crews. Because he was watching a video of Terry Crews. 33 Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... · 3h v We laughed, him out of true mirth, and I out of a need to either do that or shit myself and choke my husband to death.

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Text - Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... · 3h Mf you didn't recognize the voice in our kitchen was Terry Crews? You thought it was just a coincidence that you were watching a video about him and then he magically popped up in our kitchen? What'd you think he was doing, MAKING US FUCKING LATKES COME ON O 49 01 Arianna Bradford @TheNYAMProj... · 3h v Anyway, since last night I have aged ten years and I now probably have an irrational fear of Terry Crews. The end. 75

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Mammal

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The Most Insulting Compliments People Have Received


Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share the most insulting compliments that they've ever received. Insulting compliments are a confusing predicament to find yourself in; on the one hand, someone just said something "nice" to you, but on the flip side, the nicety was paired with something else that pointed out how you were less than, in the person's eyes. Like, you're great, but not as good as everyone else in the room. 

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Text - pat_patrol • 23h "You actually look good!" The emphasis on 'actually' and the surprise in my friends voice still haunts me.

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Text - nails_for_breakfast • 23h You're so funny! Now I get why she's dating you

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Text - ToastAndASideOfToast • 23h Being awarded "Most Improved" three years in a row.

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Text - dexterr96 • 22h "I don't know why everyone hates you and thinks you're annoying. You seem okay to me!"

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Text - The-Berger • 23h Says someone else is super ugly, then "You're even prettier than her!".

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Text - motorbike-t • 22h Someone told me I have a voice for radio, I said thanks I have a face for radio too and they enthusiastically said Yeah, you do!

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Text - xXGIMpLOrdXx • 23h Joke's on you, I don't get compliments

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Text - generallro • 23h Your German is pretty good for a foreigner. I was born in Germany. I was raised in Germany. I've spoken (with them) German for years. Hell, I don't even look foreign.

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Text - mynameispounds • 22h S 1 Award "You're like a SMALL cow" Gee thanks.. at least l'm not a LARGE cow

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Text - ContextIsForTheWeak • 23h "I can find something attractive in anyone, like Context, your eyebrows are really nice" She genuinely thought that was a nice compliment

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Text - meri_28 • 22h My friend was complaining about creeps hitting on her, then she told me "I wish I could be invisible like you."

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Text - hardycash • 23h "You're smarter than I thought" helping my then BEST friend in a math class.

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Text - Mrs_carroll • 23h Ya know, you'd be STUNNING if you lost a few pounds! You're pretty NOW, but if you lost the weight * Italian chef finger kiss

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Text - tooboredtobebusy • 22h I'm not doing what I went to college to do (i'm probably not alone in this :) but l'm gainfully employed and have been at the same company for over 15 years. My sister told me one day "you are smart and someday you'll be doing something that puts your intelligence to use" (paraphrasing). She has no idea what I do. I haven't decided yet if that was an unintentional insult or a real one.

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Text - lazyginger • 23h "Wow, you look so cute today! I didn't even recognize you at first"

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Text - AzJohnnyC • 22h After buying a couple new pairs of shoes at the Vans store: "You're gonna be the coolest old guy out there." Kid, I've been wearing Vans since long before you were born.

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Text - brosbeforetouhous • 23h In a competition, "Nice job. A few more breaks go your way and I might have been in trouble." It's | the irl version of "Not bad. You made me use 10% of my power."

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Text - bearybarricuda • 17h Someone once shouted "nice personality" driving by me walking down the street. I wasn't quite sure how to take it at the time.

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Text - ad1877 • 23h "Your girlfriend is so great!, How the hell did you pull that off?"

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Text - FrankieMint • 22h My boss promoted me. His manager congratulated me in public, calling it a "trial promotion" and me a "trainee".

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Text - WastaSpace • 23h "Wow you're really good! I bet you could even play guitar if you wanted" Said to me, after a gig. Im a bassist.

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Text - alltheselittleones • 23h "Wow your face almost makes up for (pauses) the rest"

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Text - brandnamenerd • 22h Anything that ended in "for a girl" I have a career in IT and have been doing this for years, and had a coworker saying how cool and impressive it was for a girl to be able to learn all this stuff

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Text - kc-fan • 17h "You look better without your glasses" Hmmmmm....that's funny, you look better without my glasses too

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Text - Marionetteberry • 23h "You know, it's really great that society is so much more accepting of your kind these days."

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Text - MdmMedeux • 19h "Don't worry, I think of you as white." A workmate trying to make me feel better after a racist slur was used against me. He thought it was a compliment...sigh.

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Text - Altair1208 • 22h "Oh, thank you young miss, you are a perfect little secretary !". From a rich old client at my workplace I helped because I happened to be around. I'm 28, married and a manager. Wouldn't say insulting but oh well.

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