FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 01/10/21

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Tumblr Thread: The Origin Story Of NORAD's Santa Tracker

Sometimes an innocent little fail like a typo can go on to inspire an epic, time-honored tradition like rabidly checking the NORAD Santa Tracker. This Tumblr thread breaks down how a small typo in a Sears ad resulted in the North American Aerospace Defense Command having a special phone. So many kids' childhoods have been all the better for it. Gotta keep that Christmas spirit alive while you can. Check out some more random gold from Tumblr with this post about the time that an Ultima Online gamer nuked their fellow players right out of orbit.

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Text - voroxpete But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started. Seriously, this is legit. In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here's the ad they posted.

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Carnivore - SEARS HEY, KIDDIES! OC AND Co ON MY ME24 RY IMAS CALL ME DIRECT TELEPHONE JUST DIAL ME 2-6681 de k Sere d Care Call me on my private phone and I will telk to you personally any time day or night, or come in and visit me at Sears Toyland er SANTA CLAUS

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Text - Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line. And it wasn't just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.

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Text - Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number," she says. "This was the '50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States," Rick says.

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Text - The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ʻIs this Santa Claus?': His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke – but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.

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Text - "And Dad realized that it wasn't a joke," her sister says. "So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, 'May I talk to your mother?' And the mother got on and said, 'You haven't seen the paper yet? There's a phone number to call Santa. It's in the Sears ad. Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus."

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Text - "It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, 'The old man's really flipped his lid this time. We're answering Santa calls,' " Terri says. And then, it got better. "The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them," Pam says.

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Text - "And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole," Rick says.

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Text - "Dad said, "What is that?' They say, 'Colonel, we're sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?' Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, “This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh. Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, 'Where's Santa now?' " Terri says. For real.

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Text - "And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, Thank you, Colonel,' for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information," she says. "You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he's known for."

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Text - “Yeah," Rick [his son] says, "it's probably the thing he was proudest of, too." So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time. Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19 /371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began -with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport amy-vic OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.

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Tagged: tumblr , awesome , norad , interesting , santa , tumblr posts , santa claus , holidays

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The Weirdest Things About America

Someone on AskReddit asked for non-Americans to share the weirdest things about America that Americans don't even realize are weird. It's amazing how weird your country's normalized behavior can seem to the rest of the world.

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Text - bodhan40 • 2d How your medical ads show an old guy living life well because of X-drug. He has the best time, the wife is having the best time and it's all because of the drug making things better. The end of the ad is full of warnings about how this happy drug can potentially kill you and your family, nuke your dog and make cats impotent. Recap the cliff-hanger episode of life in Alaska before another ad break. Unwatchable TV

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Text - linerys • 2d Car dealerships have huge flags. I don't get why you'd have a flag the size of ten RVs. So many roads don't have street lights. Not weird, but portion sizes are also huge. I struggled with finishing my food sometimes.

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Text - Daverotti • 2d I went to seaworld with my mum when I was in my mid teens. Halfway through the show, the performer (Not the whale) asked everybody in the military to stand up and the whole crowd gave them a round of applause. They sat back down and the show continued as if nothing had happened. Couldn't imagine anything similar happening back in Blighty. Edit: this was at Seaworld, Orlando not San Diego. Roughly 2003/4

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Text - Sp1Nnx • 2d 3 2 Awards When you have ads for drugs and half of the ad is telling you how the drug will kill you while also showing puppies. It's weird.

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Text - TheFireKing42 • 2d Not me, but my cousins who had lived in Kuwait and Australia for many years came to visit my family back in texas and laughed at how we said У'all.

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Text - BlackNOrange89 • 2d My Brazilian wife says she was amazed that we actually respect pedestrians here.

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Text - jursla • 2d Not seeing toilet brushes in hotels. I know, I know, room service and stuff, but is my family expected to look at my skid marks meanwhile?

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Text - drailCA • 2d I'm not sure if they find it weird or not but as a Canadian who has been to a few states: Gambling at gas stations in Montana. So damn weird.

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Text - victimsoftheemuwars • 2d When we were flying between cities, I found it weird to look out of the side of the plane and see towns midflight. In Australia, once you leave the city's airspace the landscape is completely barren until you arrive at your destination.

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Text - staypuftmichelinman • 2d 36 Awards Every man chips in during their pee time to chip away at the skid mark. Edit: 00 piece of silver. Oo piece of silver. Oo piece of silver. Edit: 00 piece of silver. Edit: 00 piece of silver. Edit: o0 piece of... GOLD?! IM ALLERGIC TO GOLD!

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Text - betterthansteve • 2d Everything in America is huge. I don't just mean the people or portion sizes, because we all know about that- but the roads, the buildings, the ceilings, the space between everything... America is gigantic. It just feels larger than it does here. I'm Australian but I've been to Asia and size-wise it's similar to Australia, and I've seen Europeans say the same about America. Everything is bigger.

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Text - alicebaguette • 2d Clearly the fact that there are people to put your groceries in a bag for you, l've never been so stressed and uncomfortable that while I was watching this young girl taking care of my groceries

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Text - PruRay2 • 2d Someone from my country who lives in USA told me that without a car you are crippled in America.

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Text - mr_cristy • 2d Canadian here, I was blown away by how weirdly social people are with strangers. Like some random guy l've never seen before just starts telling me his life story on the street. He is super normal, and doesn't seem crazy, just wants to talk to me for some reason. But then also, the dude at Wendy's is loudly threatening some 16 year old cashier in front of like 45 people. I got the impression the Wendy's guy was uncool, but the other guy seemed normal, and where I live I gen

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Text - hoocoo • 2d 3 2 Awards The amount of commercial breaks in a tv show.

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Text - rustyplayer1515• 2d Canadian here, canadas fast food restaurants have signs that fairly normal height, just enough to get the point across while not being obnoxious, cross over to the usa and within 5 seconds of leaving customs you can see fast food signs hundreds of feet in the air on giant poles. 2 - 3 times taller than here in Canada, why!? also finding peanut butter and jelly swirled into the same jar was shocking.

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Text - graycat3700 • 2d That poison ivy not only exists, but it's so ubiquitous.

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Text - dinosaur-pudge • 2d Americans are super friendly to the point that I (Australian) thought it was sarcasm or fake.

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Text - SingleBarrel • 2d 1 Award That there are a lot of squirrels.

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Text - Cripnite • 2d 3 3 Awards Child size drink. It's roughly the size of an average child if he were liquified. 18.3k

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Text - theBurgundyBoi • 2d 1 Award I live in the south and one time I was hanging out with a friend smoking by a lake in late spring / early summer. He was Egyptian and had just moved here over the winter. All of a sudden he freaked out saying he was seeing weird lights in the trees. I thought he was too high or something before I realized he meant the lightning bugs. He'd never seen them and didn't know what they were, so I started catching them and he was mind blown that they were just a norma

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Text - Inaka_ • 2d On behalf of my wife "what's up with the gaps in the toilet stall doors and no bidet?"

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Text - AnLe21 • 2d Free refills. Went to a restaurant with my dad (both German) and all of a sudden the waiter took away my drink with another perfectly good sipp in it and I must have looked pretty shocked. It was only then when my dad explained to me that you guys have free refills.

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Text - Endless_intermission • 2d Your toilets are full of water! In Australia the water is much lower. No wonder you complain about splashes on your bum.

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Text - Wished-this-was-easy • 2d In Germany "How are you?" is an actual question and you generally only ask it, if you know the other person. It was super hard to explain to my mum that the answer is always "fine, thank you" and that cashiers don't really care about how you actually feel, when we visited the US in 08.

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Text - Mycelium83 • 2d Lemondade made with real lemons and its like super sour but some how sugary sweet at the same time. In Australia lemonade is the same as sprite. So when I was there my mum and I ordered Jack Daniels and Lemonade and they made it with the real lemondade and it was awful. It was also weird because they sold pre mixed bottles of Jacks and lemonade with the real lemonade but in Australia you buy the same ones with sprite lemonade. Free refills was the other big one. Everywhere

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Text - dodopancake • 2d The bottom of the toilet cubile door is higher than a limbo bar. I want to shit in peace.

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Text - tinkrman • 2d 3 Awards Now that Thanksgiving and Christmas is over: The weirdest thing is that Americans will ask what you are doing for thanksgiving. Are you going to your family etc... When you say no. They invite you to their home. (I was a student, My family was thousands of miles away, and I'm happy that the local Cracker Barrel is open and looking forward to a meal there) My Professor did that. Invited me to his home. I had a good time, but it was strange. I'm meeting his uncles and

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Text - Xiaxs • 2d Hawaiian here, but I never noticed that we didn't have billboards until I moved out of Hawaii. Turns out they're illegal. So that's weird. It's awesome, cause I get unobstructed views, but still weird.

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Text - laywandsigh • 2d 3 2 Awards Everything's so big. From the super center Walmart store to food portions, the parking lot, pick up trucks, house, cup of coffee, airport, even the people.

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Tagged: wtf , strange , askreddit , america , weird , culture

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Tumblr Thread About Horrifying Monster Mold

So, the Elephant's Foot mold sounds like some sort of mythological Medusa-level monster. Sounds to me like a big heap of forbidden pudding. Seriously, no thank you. Here's to hoping we don't find ourselves one day in the future, being enslaved by black mold overlords.

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Text - unexplained-events The photo above is the closest humanity has ever come to creating Medusa. If you were to look at this, you would die instantly.

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Text - The image is of a reactor core lava formation in the basement of the Chernobyl nuclear plant. It's called the Elephant's Foot and weighs hundreds of tons, but is only a couple meters across. Oh, and regarding the Medusa thing, this picture was taken through a mirror around the corner of the hallway. Because the wheeled camera they sent up to take pictures of it was destroyed by the radiation. The Elephant's Foot is almost as if it is a living creature.

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Text - madmaudlingoes Friendly reminder that this blob of core material was so hot and dense, it melted/ burned through three floors of the building before coming to rest in the lowest basement. And there's now a unique species of black mold that feeds off the gamma radiation it produces. zubenpics Is no one else seriously freaked out by that mold? No? Just me, then?

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Text - clarabosswald wiki article about the mold grubwizard LOVE that mold! bowelflies okay but The Elephant's Foot is a large mass of black LFCM with many layers, externally resembling tree bark and glass. The mass is quite dense, unyielding to a drill but able to be damaged by a Kalashnikov rifle. By June wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy was someone shooting it with a kalashnikov

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Text - unexplained-events I can sleep again knowing that The Elephant's foot is weak to Kalashnikovs sindri42 I love that mold because humans made a mess we have no idea how to clean up and barely five years later we discover an entirely new kind of fungus that's just... eating it. Radiation levels are going down much faster than any of our models could predict, this stuff hasn't been found anyplace else in the world...

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Text - sanctusapparatus 6/6 Elephant's Foot: *releases horrifying levels of radiation fatal to most life* Heretofore unknown species of mold: delicious Finally, some good fucking food Source: unexplained-events

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Tagged: scary , wtf , history , tumblr , creepy , mold , true facts

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Dad Gets Fired For BS Reason, Plays The Long Game

This one definitely qualifies as a pro revenge. The dad apparently got fired for a total BS reason, but ended up being the one in charge in the long run, and on top of that was able to take the extended family on a cruise!

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/dromio05 • 22h + JOIN Dad gets fired for BS reasons, plays the long game, ends up in charge, takes the extended family on a cruise My dad had worked at the same company for almost 30 years before he was abruptly fired for compete bullshit. He was coordinating an upcoming meeting of people who had to fly in from around the country. One important participant resigned unexpectedly, so Dad cancelled the meeting via email and explained why. Apparently that counted as "improperly

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Text - This was about ten years ago, near the height of the recession. Dad was in his 50s, hadn't interviewed for a job since the early 1980s. He wasn't sure he'd ever find another job. My mom went back to work at a school to pay the bills, while Dad scraped together what he could doing some shitty online consulting gigs for basically minimum wage. They managed to keep their heads above water, but only barely.

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Text - Dad was out of work for a year and a half. He finally landed a job at a new company three states away, coincidentally about an hour away from where my wife and I lived and were expecting Dad's first grandchild. Mom and Dad moved to live about 20 minutes away from us. They had paid off the mortgage on their house, so they decided to keep it and rent it out, planning to retire there in a few years. New Company treated Dad very well. Better salary than he'd made at Old Company, good benefits

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Text - Dad mentioned a few things about his time at Old Company to his new bosses. Nothing confidential or anything, more like overall strengths and weaknesses. Of course, the story of how he got fired came out as well. It turns out that when you work at a company for over 25 years you learn a thing or two about how it works, and "cutting costs" by firing experienced employees can make your company vulnerable. New Company started to get very interested. They saw an important business opportunity

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Text - A couple years later, New Company bought Old Company. They were both big companies, and mergers of this size take time, but when the dust settled it was clear there were "redundancies" - divisions and products that both companies had that New Company only needed one of. They kept as many of Old Company's people as they could, and very few lost their jobs. Except, of course, for the people responsible for firing Dad. New Company put Dad in charge of the building he used to work in at Old C

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Tagged: employee , job , revenge , work , ridiculous , Reddit , win

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Student Gets Back at Thieving Roommate with Booby Trap USB

A bad roommate can make your home a living hell. When this student noticed their roommate was stealing their stuff, things got serious. This sort of strategy happens with food too, like this guy who ended up baking a cake full of habeneros.

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Text - r/ProRevenge Posted by 2 3 Awards f. u/rayrayrex 19 hours ago Think you can steal my stuff and get away with it? Good luck studying for exams with a broken laptop Back in my first year of college, I used to live in a residence on campus with 3 other dudes. Two of them were cool (shout out to Bdawg and Al) but the third named David had a nasty habit of taking things that weren't his and mysteriously forgetting that the objects had fallen into his possession.

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Text - Of the items he had stolen and were subsequently found in his room included food/snacks, notebooks, vapes, and earbuds (albeit cheap ones). We'd all complained to our RA, but since they were such small items, we were told that we should just have a "house meeting" and talk about it with David to have the problem fixed. We had two of those, where he claimed "it all looks so similar, how am I supposed to know which is mine?". Considering that we all kept our shit in our rooms this was obvio

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Text - Knowing nothing would happen unless I took action, I planned my revenge. I shelled out around $80 for something similar to this bad boi. It was a USB device that once plugged into an unsecured USB port, fried the computer by building a charge and dispersing it into the port, pretty much destroying the CPU among other parts. Now obviously I wasn't going to plant this anywhere, but I had to make it seem like this was a tool and not some sort of set-up. So I'd roped Bdawg and Al in on my pla

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Text - With them roped in, the last thing to do was wait and see if David had learned his lesson. It took all of 3 days, but expectedly David did not learn his lesson. I was at the library when this happened, but David had decided that this sexy USB would be the perfect addition to his collection of stolen wares, so he went into my room and took it. Big mistake. I got a Snapchat from Bdawg that David was going postal and I needed to get back asap. I high tailed it and when I got near our residen

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Text - Admittedly I should have held my composure better, but I laughed in that mofo's face. I told him that the USB was clearly labeled with my name on my desk in my room and I was using it to test whether my computer ports were secured from devices such as this. Screaming ensued from him, after which our RA showed up (heard that shit fest from down the hall) and asked what the hell was happening. I stayed quiet to let David attempt to lie his way out of this, but holy fuck the dumbshit kept to

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Text - When we got there and explained our stories, campus police had none of David's shit. They told him that 1. He cannot sue me since this was not a trap, but a security tool that was within my own living space, of which he had no right entering to **steal** from and 2. He was being relocated to the shitty single residences on the other side of campus, and if they caught wind of this again he was getting banned for life from res as well as receiving a Non-Academic offence (a nice little chat

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Text - The three of us enjoyed the rest of the semester with an extra bedroom for storage space (AND BEER PONG) which was definitely a win. As for David, I've only ever seen him in the cafeteria/library on occasion, sitting there studying. without his laptop. TL:DR - Shitty roommate steals our stuff and gets a shocking surprise that decimates his laptop.

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Tagged: justice , stealing , students , revenge , story , roommates , laptop , college , win , thief

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Dirtbag Customer Tries Returning Painting After 4 Months

It starts with this old client trying to dispute a cleared charge on an item they bought 4 months previously, lying about it, admitting it, then holding the transaction hostage. Where do such kind customers get it in their heads that this is the right thing to do? Who are these entitled people with their absurd audacity? It just never stops.

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Text - 10:50 am Did you charge back? No why would you do that Good morning, Send again PayPal balance -$154.28 Add money to resolve your outstanding balance. Add Funds I didn't like it Yes you did, you said "so cute exactly like i asked thx so much babe " I can send you the screenshot it's literally right up there

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Text - Ok I will be blocking u if u dont stop harassing me. Huh? Blocking me for harassing you? You scammed me for my work. You asked me to change the entire idea of the painting at least 4 times and I still restarted with a whole new picture that you were indecisive about again and again. YOU want a huge canvas, You wanted me to paint your stupid ugly family. I spent all the money on the paints and spent a whole week and a half on it and now you're suddenly charging me back for the whole thing

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Text - Excuse me? III be reporting u Take ur stupid painting IIl ship it back to you I want a refund A REFUND? AFTER YOU ALREADY GOT THE MONEY? Yep send me $155 and l'll send you back the money What is wrong with you

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Text - AnarchoNAP 9.1k points · 1 day ago O 3 You can dispute a chargeback. Send them these, the ordering messages, and anything else you got.

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Text - mayitasteyourpasta 18.0k points · 23 hours ago 2 4 e 3 E Have you called your bank? Isn't this technically fraud? wasispeedingofficer 11.1k points · 22 hours ago Yes, this behavior is fraudulent

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Tagged: customer service , wtf , customers , client , jerk , ridiculous , dumb , stupid

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Karen Manager Orders Employee to Print a Video File, Gets Fired

You don't need to know much about computers to understand that being asked to print a video file is a stupid endeavor, but this manager wasn't having it. Apparently this was the last thing on top of a pile of other complaints that led to her professional demise. Sometimes managers really don't know whats up, leading to stories like this employee who robbed a museum to prove a point. Here's one about an Aunt Karen who offered exposure for art payment and her scam fell apart.

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Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/deeba_ 11 hours ago No problem, I'll print that video for you! And while I'm at it, I might have you fired as well. oc L Hi all, This is my first submission to the sub and I hope you enjoy it! There's a tl:dr at the bottom. Context: This happened a few years ago, I was 18 and working as a receptionist for a community nursing service. As the youngest in the team by a long shot (the average age of employees being around 55-60), I was usually the one respo

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Text - Except for the Assistant Manager, Karen. This woman was the bane of my existence, she was 75+, recently came out of a 15 year retirement as a receptionist, and was armed with a certificate in Business Management from a 4 hour online course. She refused to learn basic computer skills such as Word or email, stating that she didn't need to learn them again when she had others to do it for her - namely me. In a 5 hour shift, I would spend 3 hours just fielding her tasks. Needless to say, this

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Text - This is roughly how the exchange went: Karen: Why do you only have one file, I sent two? Me: ...you want me to print an mp4? Karen: Isn't that what I asked? A monkey could do your job, and probably better at that (here, I'm pretty sure she laughed at her own joke). Me, desperate: Look, I don't think you understand - Karen: Don't try and teach me, don't forget I did your job for 20 years and now, I could have you fired. Already over it, and ready for some malicious compliance, me: Okay, we

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Text - Karen interrupts: I don't care how long it takes, I'm your boss and I've told you to do this. Once it's done you can move on to the other jobs. I'm grinning ear to ear at this point, I get back to my desk and send her an email summarising our conversation and explicitly clarifying she wanted me to print an mp4, to which I got a snarky reply. Perfect. I spent the next 4-5 hours, pausing the video every 2-3 frames, screenshotting it, pasting it to a word document and printing. The administr

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Text - Once complete, I took about 100 pages carefully held with clips to her desk and sweetly told her that I'd printed the other file. She looked smug, until she saw what was in front of her. Page after page of almost the same picture as the man moves through the video, some slightly blurry, all in full colour. She was furious, to say the least, but I was 1 hour overtime on my shift and Karen knew that would already cause her some issues, so she let me leave. Though, I knew it wasn't over yet.

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Text - Turns out, this was the straw that broke the camel's back as Karen had multiple reports against her from other staff members, and she had been driving HR insane with her own complaints. She lost her job the following week. The best part is that this happened on a Sunday, where I got double pay. I took some of that sweet overtime cash and brought in cupcakes to work once Karen was gone. I said it was an end of week treat, but we all knew what we were celebrating. The HR rep seemed to parti

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Tagged: boss , file , work , awesome , lol , computer , incompetence , story , funny , stupid , printer

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Man Downs Whole Cup Of Cuban Espresso, Teleports To 5th Dimension

Just in case you were thinking about shaking up your daily caffeine fix with something new and magical, this Cuban espresso story should absolutely serve as a cautionary tale to never underestimate, well, a Cuban espresso. This dude unknowingly purchased a fast pass to the fifth dimension as he downed a full Cuban espresso. Fair to say that he's humbled at this point.

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Text - 8 mins So, here's the story about how my day got absolutely destroyed just as it just began. Another guy from another company here at the Port and I get along quite well. I got here early to the port to get a head start on some of the days work, and he tells me, "Hey, I got some coffee in the shack over there if you want some".

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Text - Me not being the one to turn down a free cup of coffee, especially this early in the morning, I accept it. I go in there and drink the cup of coffee. That's where this gets bad. Now mind you, at this point in time, he

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Text - had a cup of coffee in his hand, and he said there was coffee in his office. I get in there and see the cup and I figure it's just an extra cup of coffee that someone didn't want or something. Holy shit, was I wrong. As I quench my thirst and down the last sip of the black, robust, but tastily sweet coffee, he comes into the shack with little shot glass sized plastic cups and says, "Hey, I forgot these in my tru-" mid sentence he notices me throwing the cup away and his mouth falls open.

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Text - styrofoam cup along with small, plastic demitasses to share with other people. You see where I'm going with this? As he sets the mini cups, demitasses, down on the table he starts to laugh and at that point I had begun to realize my whole perspective on this plane of existence, is about to be flipped upside down by the pure octane/adrenaline fucked Cuban deliciousness in my veins. I had just drank a whole cup of nothing but pure 100% Cubano espresso. To give you a perspective, a shot of C

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Text - It is now 10:30, almost a good 2 and a half hours later and my legs still won't stop twitching, I've pulled forty-two, 40 foot shipping containers across the port with my bare hands, and I can see and smell colors. O Like Comment Share

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Tagged: crazy , surprising , caffeine , coffee , ridiculous , espresso

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Unsafe Maneuvers that would Have OSHA Screaming

A whole lot of people brag about the unsafe crap they do and hold it as a point of pride. Sometimes it seems like the whole world is in a contest to see how precarious they get get their ladders and how spectacularly they can fail at safety. If you've ever had a boss that's made you do OSHA nightmare crap like this, welcome to the stupid club, and I guess congrats on being here to read this sentence.

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Tagged: scary , wtf , FAIL , safety first , lol , osha , safety , stupid

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