"I just want to know who we've been living next to this whole time…"
Tuesday, June 14, 2022
Boss Tries To Break Up Dungeons And Dragons Club, Gets Told Off By Kids
It's another one of those times where someone doesn't understand something, so they decide that it must be pointless and stupid. As if all the people who have interests that aren't yours must be lying about how much they like it?
This person's boss didn't really understand the draw of DnD, so they came to the club meeting with the expressed purpose of getting kids to do something they would rather do. It's not like kids can't learn how to play dungeons and dragons and also play outside, so the point itself is moot. It seems like this person was bent on dismantling the thing just because they lack the kind of interest or creativity involved in enjoying something like a fantasy roleplaying game. But hey, that's what happens when you pump all your points into strength and dexterity while totally ignoring intelligence and charisma. At least their history playing competitive sports let them know when they were beaten.
Here are some dungeons and dragons memes to cast on self.
25 Technically Correct Memes And Moments That Are Too Literal For Their Own Good
The facts of life are hard. But it's not like we can't massage some meaning out of them with a little clever wordplay or overly literal thinking. That's when it's a good time to be the type of person who's adept at taking things the wrong way. Why should you ever let someone get away with saying they're "tired" without demanding to know what kind of car they go on? Why should you ever just stand there and listen to someone describe themselves as a "pillar of the community" or whatever you column.
There's just too much wiggle-room for anything to not sort of mean a few other things, and we should all take every opportunity we have to take things overly literally and make the people's lives around us figurative hell.
It's not up to us, and we're not totally down for it, but there's nothing left. Which means it's the right thing to do.
Here are some technically correct moments that are totally not wrong.
Incompetent Management Forgets To Issue Notice, Employee Leverages It Into Extra Month's Pay
As everyone was packing up their desks and leaving the office, it finally dawned on management to ask why one single employee was still sitting there as if nothing was happening. As it turned out, they had failed to issue a notice to him specifically about the state of the company, forcing a last-minute negotiation over the rest of his employment there. Maybe it's an understatement to say that it can help to understand the language of your contract when it comes to situations like these. The dude stuck to his guns and managed to finagle his way into a nice chunk of change in exchange for doing absolutely nothing. Sounds pretty sick.
For a delicious tale of someone getting back at their old employer, here's the employee who was fired and then told to forget everything they knew, just to have it blow up in their ex boss's face.
Insecure Boyfriend Flees His Own Birthday Getaway Weekend When His Babe of a Girlfriend Calls Him "Safe"
We all would probably like to think of ourselves as being the most penultimately desirable person to our partners. No one wants to think that their partner could have had a better option had the chance presented itself. It's just like that How I Met Your Mother episode where they describe "The Reacher" and "The Settler" the one in the relationship who manages to land someone who is "out of their league" is "The Reacher" because they've managed to reach up past their dating level. "The Settler" is the one who could have "dated higher" but decided to go with someone who could be seen as less attractive or less desirable (for one reason or another) because of some connection, compatibility, or personal preference that just worked.
Just as in How I Met Your Mother, my partner and I have argued for years over which one of us in the relationship is "The Settler," We both narcissistically swear to the ends of the earth that it's ourselves. The secret that neither of us will ever admit to each other is that, when we first started dating, we both thought that we had landed ourselves a catch and considered ourselves "The Reacher."
I say "thought" there because after seven years, whether or not either of us is a "catch" at this point doesn't really matter and is more fun to joke about than anything else.
Well, perhaps understandably, this guy is still a little insecure about his place in his relationship with his babe of a girlfriend. He admits in his post that he "Never thought [he] had a chance.] and that he felt they "Weren't in the same league."
The guy, Redditor u/boatlyfe12, posted this thread titled "AITA for leaving a couples trip in the middle of the night and "ruining" the vibe?" to the popular r/AITA (Am I the A-Hole) subreddit. The post is dripping with insecurities and reeks of fractured self-confidence, and he will inevitably lose this catch if he doesn't manage to sort these issues out.
Who knows, he may have blown his chances already with how he describes reacting to some comments his girlfriend made while he was on an all-expenses-paid getaway vacation that his girlfriend organized for his birthday with all of their friends. Like, my guy, clearly the girl has (or had at least) some pretty solidified feelings for you if she was willing to splash out that much cash to throw you a good time.
Unfortunately, her comments during a party game triggered his insecurities and bruised his ego. He then made the rash decision to leave and now the relationship is in turmoil. The most concerning thing to me here is that it's apparent in his edits that his ego is refusing to move out of the way and he is determined to save face and "feel like the man" in order to prove to himself that he deserves his girlfriend. He is trying to frame the situation as if he is going to decide if the relationship is "salvageable." Bro, you're going to be lucky if she doesn't dump you.
If she does… you completely deserve it and your own insecurities have ironically eventuated your own worst fears.
The internet is certain that the fault rests solely on his shoulders. What's your take?
28 of the Most Disastrous and Dumb Mistakes People Witnessed Their Coworkers Make
When you're a kid, you think that adults have everything figured out. As you age, you have the horrifying, dawning realization that nobody has anything figured out.
That realization is reinforced when you enter the workforce and are exposed to your fellow "adults" who range from simply 'faking it' like the rest of us to being dangerously and dysfunctionally problematic. Those adults that you idolized when you were young often failed to learn the fundamental lessons that you were supposed to learn in kindergarten.
For better or for worse, you're going to run into these people repeatedly throughout your adult life, and so, purely on a statistical basis, you bear witness to a lot of crazy things.
These Redditors shared the most insane and stupid mistakes they had the misfortune of bearing witness to at their workplaces. Given the context of some of these situations, it really makes you wonder how they managed to get these jobs in the first place.
Top Tinder Moments of the Week (June 14th, 2022)
Welcome to your weekly dose of the hottest trending takes from online dating. This week's selection is a handful and includes a good number of poor conversationalists who probably shouldn't be wasting their time with online dating if they're too bored to properly respond.
Take #1 as an example… are they seriously gatekeeping their dating pool based on whether or not they have an iPhone? If this is some kind of attempt at gold-digging I highly doubt there's any validity to it. There will be tons of tech bros out there touting Androids and I highly doubt Bill Gates is rocking an iPhone.
#3 responding that they would dress as a meteor to establish dominance is absolute gold. She needs to tie that guy up immediately and make sure there's no Vol.37 for the reasons why he's still single.
Scroll through this week's selection, it's a little tamer than the last few weeks but can only get rowdier once summer fully forms.
Shady 7-11 Uses Chip Reader to Steal Customers' Card Info, Woman Reports Them But Police Don't Believe Her: She Turns to TikTok for Help
Maybe going viral will make the police take her seriously…
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