Friday, November 13, 2020

15-Year-Old Calls Into Radio Station, Hilarity Ensues


Um, this is absolute gold. Kevin really took these radio hosts for a ride. 

Submitted by: (via talkSPORT)

Player Manages Sweet Double-Volley Goal


Nicolai Geertsen managed a cool-looking score when his first attempt bounced off the goal and right back at him. Undeterred, he went for it again in a showing that looked more like ping pong than anything else.

Submitted by: (via Extra Football Skills)

Radio Hosts Find Greatest Bloke In World Through Prank Job Reference


James clearly has it all figured out. There was a little bit of stress over that language question, but the dude still managed to glide right through it like a true champion. 

Submitted by: (via Hamish & Andy)

Times That Failure's Not An Option


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the times that failure is just not an option. Sometimes you're caught up in the middle of a perilous, adrenaline-charged event like skydiving and you literally have zero room for not performing everything perfectly. 

1.

Text - Baileythenerd • 1d O 3 6 Awards Skydiving. | Reply 1 11.1k ...

2.

White - alittlemore • 1d Landing a plane Reply 404 •.. +B

3.

Text - MR_System_ • 23h Giving birth. You either successfully deliver it, have a successful C-section, or you die trying and they remove the kid via C-section to see if it's alive. No matter what comes out, living or dead, you still gave birth, even if you died during it. You can't suck the kid back in. You cannot fail at giving birth. Reply 1 220 5 + ...

4.

Text - StarAxis • 1d 1 Award Those multiple choice questions that some teachers put in Kahoots where all of the answers are correct A Q Reply 4 6.3k ...

5.

Text - kingcobra5352• 20h 5 Awards A personal story. I had just started a new IT job back in 2017, working for my boss from a previous job. The CEO/owner of that company owned several other small businesses that I didn't work for. On my way home one day my boss calls me "Kingcobra... The CEO's biggest company just got hit by ransomware and he needs your help." I'm on a plane to Phoenix, AZ the next morning. I find out that every server, even backups, had been encrypted. If I didn't succeed hundr

6.

Text - jfpeoxa • 1d Professions related to health, within my family there are 2 doctors and 4 nurses and I can say that the pressure on them all the time is brutal, my mother tells me that the simple fact that a baby's umbilical cord becomes entangled in her neck can cause permanent damage. In addition, the relatives of the patients can sue you for negligence despite the fact that most of the time they are fortuitous errors. People often forget the fragility of life. Reply 84 3

7.

Text - littleredhoodlum • 1d 2 Awards I was backpacking in Alaska. I was being careless and had gotten turned around and lost the trail. Not a huge deal I'm pretty good at orienteering and I had a pretty good handle on where I was. Had plenty of food and water was everywhere. I decided to freak the fuck out though before I sat down and rationally though that out. The world is a big place when you're all alone in the wilderness. Once I calmed down I came to the decision that I had no choice but t

8.

White - skeeball_ray • 1d Free solo climbing Reply ...

9.

Text - 8-BIT-Chicken • 23h 7 Awards I was diagnosed with cancer back in 2018. Decided that l'd fight it tooth and nail with everything I had. That didn't last very long. Man, it was tiring. I gave it my all every single day, and eventually I just got so exhausted of it that I decided I was just gonna stop. It was so emotionally, physically, and mentally tiring, so I snapped, and decided that I was just gonna stop trying. It wasn't a suicidal kind of thing - I didn't want to die, but I wanted to

10.

Text - long-da-schlong • 20h Not as extreme as some examples -- but my partner is very much into horses, over the years we have gone "trail riding" a number of times. l am not experience with horses, but I have a bit of an edge to the point I am no longer a complete novice. That being said, a number of years ago -- we went riding at a very discount place. It was a lady with a couple of horses and she let us just hop on and go. No guide, none of the usual. My horse was the "bad boy" of the group

11.

Text - It was actually surprisingly comforting... knowing that even when I hit my very lowest points, life would keep on pushing me forward, and l'd still be making some sort of progress. I learned that day not to push through my chemotherapy with everything I had, but to instead spend my time relaxing and enjoying what I had around me. I made friends with the nurses, went on frequent walks, and valued the fact that I still had my life, cause I might not have been able to keep it for long. I acc

12.

Text - wehosh • 1d Failure to establish communication with relevant callsigns and equipment in a coal mine will result in termination. Failure to wear a seatbelt in a coal mine will be treated as a federal offense and result in a $250K fine, termination of employment, and incarceration. # Q Reply 4 551

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Things That Look Like Tasty Food But Aren't


There are just too many damn car fluids and gemstones that look like drinks and candy, and it's absolutely maddening. Spiders, rocks and fungi just have a way about them that make them look like delicious cookies and meals. Seeing all the stuff that looks like tasty food but isn't is a surefire way to want to drink a lava lamp.

1. Forbidden Bun

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2.

Hard candy - tender & delicious gummy pasta

3.

Bottle - You ever just say fuck it & have a sip of the forbidden soda @boyswhocancook

4. Forbidden Drumstick

Cat bed - YTLIDAT 2IHT TEHIADA

5. Forbidden gem grapes

Grape

6. Forbidden meatball

Floor

7. Forbidden Ice Cream

Pink - DAP Widuo Dries WHITE Goes DRY TIME INDICATOR Spackling Masilla con indicador de tiempo de secado WARN SELLER 02

8. Forbidden Egg Yolk

Turtle

9. Forbidden Turkey

Hand

10. Forbidden Ice Cream

Sculpture

11.

Hairstyle

12. Forbidden Coconut

Food - Calcite Calcite Quartz Quartz

13. Forbidden Box Wine

Machine tool - Mobil 1 TM European Car Formula QuietCas OW-40 00 No P OJECT 10PEN THS PACKAGE OPEN PULL MERE TO REMOVE HOSOS HOSO

14. Forbidden Bacon

Wood

15.

Transport - When the Walmart lady asked why I needed so much antifreeze, apparently "fruit punch for the trick or treaters" was not the correct answer.

16. Forbidden Melted Cheese

Food

17. Forbidden Spaghettios

Orange

18. Forbidden Gummies

Tree

19. Forbidden Pizza

Rock

20. Forbidden Oreo

Terrestrial animal

21. Forbidden Candy Powder

Blue - AL GO DANGERY/POISON FLUSH EYES MMEDIATELY

22. Forbidden Cookie Wafer

Hand

23. Forbidden Scalloped Potatoes

Food

24.

Fawn - MCENNEDY Toast American Style EISST

25. Forbidden Blue Raspberry Slushie

Bumper

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Pet Store Employee Shares Friendly Holiday Reminder


So many of us are prone to impulse buys during the holiday season. It's a time where we can fork over some of that hard-earned dough, and buy special gifts for the human beings we're grateful to share this strange existence with. With that being said, we've got to be careful to not cave for the irrational pet purchases. You've really got to think things through before bringing a new family member on board. Especially if it's a bird that's about to stir up a loud ruckus in your home. 

1.

Text - the holidays are coming up, and as someone who works in a pet store there are some things i want everyone who plans on getting animals as gifts to remember: fish tanks need to be set up and running for at least one week before fish can be put it. all fish need treated water and bacteria supplements. fish can only survive in a plastic bag for about an hour. THE ONLY fish that can go in a bowl is a BETTA. all other fish, especially goldfish, will die/be very unhealthy in bowls.

2.

Text - goldfish are supposed to live for up to 20 years. don't get all high and mighty for keeping one alive for a few months. they have long life spans when taken proper care of. hamsters cannot live together. when they grow up, they become incredibly territorial and aggressive. they are asocial creatures that do not get along with each other. • guinea pigs can't go in hamster wheels or balls. they get spinal injuries from being in a curved position and sometimes die. rats and guinea pigs do be

3.

Text - hamsters, mice, rats, guinea pigs, cats, and pretty much every single animal can't live inside a sealed box. they will die. don't do it. puppies get destructive. they break things and make messes and are loud. they need to be trained. don't get a puppy if you don't want to deal with training a large animal. don't fucking take kittens and puppies away from their mothers prematurely just because they're cute. it can affect them forever.

4.

Text - cats will scratch your furniture and knock things over. declawing cats is a physically harmful and scarring process that literally permanently mutilates their paws. don't get a cat if you aren't willing to be patient with them. birds are LOUD. SO LOUD. and incredibly messy. and they bite. most lizards can get up to two feet long. some can live for 20 years. don't get a baby bearded dragon and expect it to stay that small forever. they reach their full size within a year. pets are real and

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Dad Uses Big Boat To Take Revenge On Lake Scoundrels


You're bound to cross paths with some interesting walks of life at the lake. It's a place where many go to escape the daily stresses of life, and just try to catch their breath by the water. Well, when you throw a couple inconsiderate, loud degenerates into the mix, the environment is ripe for conflict. In this case, the conflict took on the face of a well executed petty revenge. Dad wasn't playing any games. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/WebberWoods • 3y "It's a free lake, isn't it?" This happened a couple years ago at my parents' cottage. This cottage community used to be pretty sparsely populated and felt pretty remote...back in the 60s when my Dad was a kid. These days it's completely built up and feels more like a subdivision with water between the houses instead of roads. A sunny summer Saturday can get really busy. My Dad, however, still likes to go up there for a quiet relaxing experience---

2.

Text - Then one day my parents, myself, and one of their friends are sitting on the dock, enjoying a quiet drink as afternoon turns to evening, when they see two fishermen in a pontoon boat pull around the point of the island, trolling along the waterline. This happens sometimes, and isn't a big deal so long as people are respectful. These two were not. As they get closer and closer to the dock, it becomes clear that they just don't give a crap. They end up trolling right by the dock. And I mean

3.

Text - By this point, they are already trolling past, getting further away from the dock. My Dad was pretty annoyed, but that could have been the end of it---that is, until Tweedledum decided that he would throw his empty beer bottle into the lake. Now my Dad likes his privacy, but he loves the natural beauty of the Canadian North. One time when we were young and stupid, my brother, myself, and a bunch of our friends were pretty drunk and decided it would be smart to throw our empties at a nearb

4.

Text - When Tweedledum threw the bottle in the lake, my Dad became committed to his petty revenge. Without a word, he walked over to our big steel boat (not exactly like this, but close...quite the beast by this lake's standards), untied it, and hopped in. I jumped in at the last minute just to make sure he didn't get his ass kicked or something. But, to my surprise, he didn't go over there to give them a piece of his mind. He just adjusted the speed and trim of his boat to make the biggest wave

5.

Text - My Dad just smiled at them. "Hey, it's a free lake, isn't it?" They just grumbled, flipped us off again, and took off. We followed them for a bit, but once they were a kilometre or so from our island we peeled off and went home to enjoy the rest of our evening in peace. Edit: Please, let me clarify a few things.

6.

Text - To the people saying that there is nothing wrong with fishing close to a dock---fair, but there's gotta be some respect and common courtesy there. Our dock is a small L-shape and they were inside the L. I could have hopped onto their boat with ease. Just go around, especially when the owners are there using it. Most people who troll by will clear both ends of the docks by at least ten feet, we maybe exchange a nod/wave and we get on with our lives. These guys were just so unconcerned with

7.

Text - To those concerned about the safety of the circling maneuver---I should've specified that he was decently far away. They got their feet wet, maybe ruined a pack of cigarettes or something, but there was never any danger to either boat or any of the people in them. Was it illegal? I dunno, probably. Is my Dad an asshole? Generally no, but he certainly can be. I never claimed that he was 100% in the right. After all, aren't we here for a bit of pettiness? 6.2k 292 1, Share

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5 Movies That Become Insane With Swapped Genders


What would happen if Jack and Rose swapped genders in 'Titanic'? What about if 'The Shape of Water' starred a lonely male janitor going to town on a lady fish? What if Marty's Mom in 'Back to the Future' was a peeping... Jane?

Submitted by: (via Cracked)

Some of the Great Trollings of History


People have been around for long enough that prankery, shenanigans and cons have enjoyed a great heyday. Pranks and trickery are nothing new, and it's a breath of fresh air to learn that governments, generals, and famous historical figures totally messed with people. For some extra history, here are some history memes that are technically educational. For extra shenanigans, here are some mad lads who played by their own rules.

1.

Text - Madhighlander1 36.1k points · 23 hours ago 5 27 e3 S 3 3 I forget the name but that one guy from the 1800s who bought specific tickets to a play and then gave them away to bald men on the street so that when everyone took their seats and the bald men's heads reflected the light from the stage, they spelled out 'FUCK' as seen from the stage.

2.

Text - Angel_OfSolitude 9.8k points · 21 hours ago Please tell me you have a source on this Madhighlander1 22.1k points · 21 hours ago · edited 21 hours ago O 24 3 2 His name was Horace de Vere Cole him included: & 4 More Other pranks attributed to Walking around the streets of London with a cow's udder poking through the fly of his trousers, and cutting it off with a pair of scissors when he judged he had caused 'maximum outrage' • Depositing a load of horse manure in Venice's Piazza san Marco,

3.

Text - Blitzilla 27.6k points - 1 day ago This Chinese general whose city was besieged by a much larger army, so he opened the main gate and sat atop it playing his flute. The enemy thought it was a trap so they packed their stuff and left.

4.

Text - anoukdaae 654 points · 20 hours ago Steve Wilhite He invented the gif, then he won a Webby Award for it. Webby Award speeches are only allowed to be five words long. He went up and said "it's pronounced JIF, not GIF." Jod himself could come down and tell me that, I wouldn't believe it. It's GIF. Forever. Bye.

5.

Text - TheGermanMofo 18.2k points · 21 hours ago O 2 2 3 2 There was a Prussian (I can't remeber his name) who managed to make a officer uniform out of scraps of clothing. He used it to convince a few gaurds on patrol to follow him into a goverment building, ordered the arrest of the man in charge, confiscated all the money personally, sent the arrested man to Berlin calming it was all on order of the King. He then ditch the uniformed, got on a train to Berlin him and managed to beat the guards

6.

Text - danielokane 17.2k points · 20 hours ago 3 3 3 3 Mozart didn't like this singer so much that he 2 wrote a piece for her with high and low notes constantly because he noticed that when she hit low notes her chin went to her chest and when she hit high notes her head would fling back. So it was like she was bobbing like a chicken

7.

Text - FatBOlisFatter 547 points · 21 hours ago This will prob get buried but here goes: Whoever came up with the American Armed forces plan during the cold war to drop boxes of extra large condoms labeled as medium on the soviet troops. The result was the soviets thought the Americans were PACKING. Greatest military troll of all time.

8.

Text - dirtyaccomplice 16.0k points · 20 hours ago E 22 04 S 3 The guy who opened a fake no 1 restaurant in London using Google reviews and his back garden and shed with microwave meals.

9.

Text - igpdvs 15.3k points · 20 hours ago A 6 O 5 e3 5 April fools day 1974 when a man burned 70 rubber tires on a dormant volcano in Alaska! This has to be up there. He waited 3 years to get a helicopter to fly the tires to the top to get a picture perfect condition. He even got the coast quard called out too And heres the link to the story. http://hoaxes.org/af database/permalink/the_ er uption_of_mount edgecumbe/

10.

Text - Anom8675309 19.1k points · 1 day ago 2 & 2 More Diogenese MCAfee SECURE He became notorious for his philosophical stunts, such as carrying a lamp during the day, claiming to be looking for an honest man. He criticized Plato, disputed his interpretation of Socrates, and sabotaged his lectures, sometimes distracting listeners by bringing food and eating during the discussions. Diogenes was also noted for having mocked Alexander the Great, both in public and to his face when he visited Corin

11.

Text - ThrowawayKarensBane 14.5k points · 21 hours ago - edited 13 hours ago 2 3 & 5 More I was thinking more like the mortician who patented the automatic telephone switch 3 years after finding out his rivals wife worked as a telephone operator and would reroute calls asking for his funeral parlor to her husbands. The guy put a whole worldwide workforce out of work for one persons actions.

12.

Text - mexploder89 11.6k points · 22 hours ago - edited 20 hours ago The dude who somehow got a network news program to say that a plane that crashed was piloted by 4 men with the names: Hoo Lee Fuk Sum Ting Wong Wee Tu Lo Bang Ding Ow

13.

Text - VictorBlimpmuscle 32.7k points · 1 day ago 2 2 4 & 6 More Theodore Hook OMSECURE - the perpetrator of edited 22 hours ago MCAfee the Berners Street hoax in London in 1810 SECURE in which Cook sent thousands of MCAfee letters summoning all manners of various vendors and service people and physicians and dignitaries and others to all come to one random person's home, literally shutting down a large part of London as they all descended upon the same address throughout the day, all while Cook

14.

Text - Rayux 11.1k points · 1 day ago 3 The guy who decided to put an ice troll 3/4 the way up the path to High Hrothgar.

15.

Text - redsuslmao 9.4k points · 21 hours ago Stephen Hawking was in an interview, when a cord was unplugged, and alarm went off (this was before he was completely immobile), and he slumped in his chair. The people interviewing him were scared out of their minds, until they realized that he was alright, and chuckling at his joke. The cord and alarm were for a computer.

16.

Text - doowgad1 9.3k points · 1 day ago Orson Welles did a radio play that told people the Martians were invading. The next day he told everyone that his play had freaked out millions of people, when it was a few dozen at most.

17.

Text - Text - Kang-The-Time-Lord 6.2k points · 1 day ago The old-timey NYC newspaper the Sun imo. In the 19th Century, they published some articles about the presence of life on the moon like unicorns, winged humans, and other creatures who built temples and lived peacefully. This caused a massive moon craze until it was later outed as fake.

18.

Text - grubb_flowers 4.8k points · 1 day ago · edited15 hours ago Marcel Duchamp who, among other fun things, submitted a urinal as an art piece to the Society of Independent artists under a pseudonym, and then was part of the board that was set to approve pieces. He also spread rumors of another piece he was working on so people wouldn't suspect anything. Love that dude. Plus he sparked an interesting discussion in art.

19.

Text - ScarletCaptain 4.1k points · 20 hours ago Technically this isn't a troll since it was serving a purpose, but Admiral Nelson was escaping a French fleet when a man fell overboard. It was Nelson's policy of never leaving anyone behind so he turned his ship around to go pick him up. The French saw his ship turn back toward them, assumed he had reinforcements coming beyond the horizon, so they turned and ran.

20.

Text - Voicedtunic 3.0k points · 21 hours ago In the 30s-40s BBC did an April fools broadcast where they told people how spaghetti was made... on trees. They literally showed fake spaghetti trees and since not many people in that time knew how spaghetti was made, lots of people believed it.

21.

Text - FarPension2 2.5k points · 22 hours ago Theodore Roosevelt He got shot, went on a 1 hour speech mocking his assassin and then went to hospital

22.

Text - JustAnotherAviatrix 1.9k points · 20 hours ago This will be buried, but Sergei Korolev. The dude was getting frustrated with the Soviet government because they weren't interested in funding his space exploration projects, so he got his propaganda group to publish articles about how Russia was getting close to sending something into space. As expected, the US took the bait and started working on their satellite program, and the Soviet government freaked out when they saw the US doing that,

23.

Text - SirTimelord 1.6k points · 20 hours ago Gregor MacGregor. He was a Scotsman who claimed to own land in the New World. He got fake maps printed, fake pictures drawn, then published it all in a big convincing book. He then got over 200 people to emigrate to this paradise and, get this, dropped them in the Central American jungle. Many died. Some returned and blamed the expedition guide for directing them to the wrong location, still believing Gregor's story. The more you read, the crazier it

24.

Text - maleorderbride 1.2k points · 1 day ago When God told 100-year-old Abraham to go kill his only son and then was like "lol sike" right| before he actually did it

25.

Text - Nag-A-Ram-Gear-Toner 716 points · 20 hours ago -. edited 11 hours ago Basil Zaharoff A Greek arms dealer, he once donated a submarine to the Greek government. He then told the Turks that the Greeks had a submarine and sold them 2 submarines. Lastly, he went to the Russians and told them the Turks had 2 submarines so he sold them 2 as well. None of the submarines actually worked. Edit: donated to the Greeks, not sold

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