Friday, June 5, 2020

Choir Perfectly Imitates A Thunderstorm, Then They Sing


This is art at its best. Definitely don't see something like this everyday. Mother nature would be proud. 

Submitted by: (via Angel City Chorale)

Comedian Gives Audience Member Confetti Canon, Hilarity Ensues


Can't beat that timing. 

Submitted by: (via TheMelbComedyFest)

Naval Officer Pulls Off Amazingly Lazy Move


Sometimes laziness inspires acts of pure, admirable genius. Take this naval officer who quite simply couldn't be bothered to give a dang, and thus went about pulling off the kind of lazy move that most anyone can appreciate. Man sounds like a true visionary. 

1.

Cheezburger Image 9495864832

2.

Cheezburger Image 9495865088

3.

Cheezburger Image 9495865344

Submitted by:

Tumblr Thread: Dude Gets Schooled On Car Safety And Physics


This guy got a quick lesson in physics, and that is that physics ain't tossing out any freebies. 

1.

Vehicle - SheStayFabulous @Shestayfabulous Man old cars really were made to last eme Mang 1/5 Ayton SZN @ReeceDontTweet his car ain't break a sweat

2.

Text - princealigorna And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you're spending more to repair the car than it's worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can't just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint

3.

Text - becausedragonage You guys are obscenely, dangerously wrong. It's not planned obsolescence, it's physics. Modern cars crumple to absorb and distribute the forces of impact in an accident in an effort to protect the occupants. When cars didn't have those crumple zones, the oc- cupants, being the soft, squishy things they were, took those forces and were mangled or killed in horrible ways. Also, those older cars took hidden damage that often went unnoticed and made them very dangerous to dri

4.

Text - I recently watched a TV show where a small sedan was run over by the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Run. Over. They had to unwrap the crumpled ball of a car from the undercarriage of that trailer. Guess what? The driver suffered only minor injuries because the car collapsed in exactly the way it was designed to so that she, in the very strong frame surrounding the passenger compartment, was protected. And no, don't thank capitalism for these modern cars. Thank Ralph Nader and countless o

5.

Motor vehicle - GIF GIF by blazepress I'm an estimator for a major insurance company which means I spend all day, every day, around wrecked cars. I've been to the NHTSA, I've attended a crash test. I have actually seen and put hands on both the vehicles in the .gif above. The idea that old cars are somehow built better or are “tanks" or whatever is not only wrong, it's dangerous. New cars are built to "crunch" so you don't have to.

6.

Land vehicle - This is the 59 Bel Aire post crash - notice that the area where the driver sits is significantly compromised. The person driving this car would have died in this 35mph crash.

7.

Land vehicle - This is the Malibu - crunched? Yes! But the area where the driver sits is not crushed. I have seen modern cars keep people alive in horrifying accidents. Cars are objectively better and safer in every single way than they were 10, 20, 30 years ago. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. Period. Also modern passenger cars are definitely not made of fiberglass. What even?

Submitted by:

Entitled Influencer Expects Free Clothing


These influencers just keep coming on out of the woodwork with their dispositions of unreal entitlement. In this case, the influencer expects free clothing due to their "influence." Well, listen up, sis, that's not how businesses work. 

1.

Text - Wait so since you already have the Saree then how is it costing you more money? You're not paying me to do it. You're missing my point. I spent money to get the Saree so then I can sell it to make money. If I just give it to you then I'm not going to make money on that Saree. Do you understand?

2.

Text - But you already bought it so you own it so how are you losing money? It's literally free advertising! Do you know how business works? It seems you don't understand the concept but I don't time to explain it to you so I'm not interested, sorry. Wow! Seems like you don't know how to run a business! Ugh you won't be successful with that kind of attitude!!

3.

Text - We'll see about that and you need a reality check with your delusion of how a business works. Good luck trapping someone else with your "influence" Listen! I can ruin your business in a heartbeat sis! Keep that nasty attitude up and you'll fail!!

4.

Text - Omg you're crazy. Just leave me alone Well you messed with the wrong chick! Watch how I ruin you bit. &S!#% I'm reporting you...buh bye you beggar! you!!! &$!#% &$!#% Double tap to like

Submitted by:

Supervisors Try To Make Employee Look Bad, Employee Turns The Tables


Can't argue with the receipts. Sounds like these supervisors were all kinds of toxic and nasty. So, the employee pivoted, and managed to turn the tables on them. Can't imagine what their faces must've looked like, when they were embarrassed in front of those clients. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge u/foxgotsocks • 1y + Join Supervisors Tried to Make Me Look Bad, So I Made Them Look Worse I'm an attorney and used to work at a state government office, where I had two supervisors, one for my practice group and one for my section, who from the very beginning decided to make it their business to treat me like shit. Section Chief had a habit of sitting on client questions for days, then assigning them to me. Then, when the client would inevitably ask why it was taking so lo

2.

Text - working on that stuff, making it look like the delay was my fault. Similarly, Group Supervisor's favorite cockweaseltry was to try to get me in trouble with both clients AND higher-ups in our office for not doing things fast enough, despite the fact that she would procrastinate for weeks on reviewing/signing off on work I actually did very fast indeed. But what these hosebeasts did not know! Was that a) I was saving all the emails they sent me that would include information like dates the

3.

Text - timely responses, but had previously been told by this supervisor that she "didn't need reminding" about my emails so I stopped doing that with her.) The client was supposed to answer the records request within a tight deadline under the law, and eventually emailed Group Supervisor to ask where the hell their answer was. Group Supervisor finally woke up and forwarded her original email assigning me the work to Section Chief to complain that I didn't do it in good time. And then Section Ch

4.

Text - 1. Reply All to Section Chief's email to Client, attaching my email to Group Supervisor containing the draft response. T innocently wrote, "Apologies for the inconvenience, Client. Our office rule is to wait for supervisory sign off before providing advice, but l've nevertheless attached draft advice prepared on [date]. Group Supervisor and Section Chief, do you agree with this advice? May Client act upon it?" 2. Forward that response to Former Boss and very politely ask him, "In instance

5.

Text - The client ended up praising me for my "efforts to get a response to him in a timely fashion." And Former Boss thanked me for my question but said it should never be an issue in the first place, then sent out an office-wide notice to remind supervisors that they must provide necessary sign offs on advice within deadlines and must never blame those under them for delays in front of clients because that affects the image of the whole office. He attached the emails in my matter as an

6.

Text - example of what supervisors should not do. So literally everyone saw what incompetent assclowns they were. TL;DR Shit bosses tried to get me in trouble with a client for something that was completely their fault, so I pulled receipts and made them look bad in front of not only the client but our entire office of hundreds of attorneys. 11.4k O 262 1 Share

Submitted by:

Moments People Realized They Weren't Kids Anymore


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the moments people have experienced where they realized they weren't kids anymore. As we grow up, many of us look back on the days of our youth, longing for that simpler time when worries were nonexistent altogether. Or if there were worries, they were completely silly and of little importance at all. Some of these might strike a chord. 

1.

Text - letionbard • 15h When some doctors or teachers are younger than me. Reply 1 2.3k

2.

Text - wanderingbecuzimlost • 13h I told my niece she needed adult supervision to do something and she looked me like I was dumber than a block of cheese and ask why I couldn't watch her. Reply 1 1.3k ...

3.

Text - Finklemaier • 14h At work one day when I was 19, I heard a little girl ask her mom "what's that man doing?" and I turned to look at what man she was talking about and what the man was doing, only to discover she was pointing at me. Reply 1 5.5k ...

4.

Text - LolaLoops • 15h I was really excited to buy a mop... From that moment on it all went downhill :D Reply 2.9k ...

5.

Text - ButcherChef • 15h When my actions started to change a lot people's life. "If I don't do shopping today I cannot cook for my wife and she would not have any food to take in the other day and in the next day I will be working so no one will buy food". As an example. Reply 2.8k

6.

Text - NakedKittyAlucard • 16h 2 Awards Having the "we have food at home" talk with myself. Reply 15.0k ...

7.

Text - mynameisbirthdayboy • 14h I ate a pack of fruit snacks without checking to see what shape they were. Reply 1.2k ...

8.

Text - TogarSucks • 15h In high school a friend of mine worked at a laser tag place. He got a bunch of us in for free one day. In the waiting room we had a friendly trash talking match with some 12 year olds about the upcoming game. One of them came back with "You're on! Kids vs adults!" Note: we were all 18 at the time. Reply 3.5k ...

9.

Text - ApocalypseWednesday • 15h When I saw a forecast for snow and I was annoyed instead of happy Reply 4.4k ...

10.

Text - SchindianaJones • 16h 1 Award When I realized I could never be fully relaxed because there's always some responsibility looming over me. Reply 10.1k ...

11.

Text - littlemissbookwrm • 15h My first year of teaching. When we told the kids to get an adult if there's an emergency and I realized-/ was the adult they would be getting Reply 6.4k

12.

Text - Holo323 • 14h Realising that nobody knows what the hell they are doing, everyone is just winging it. Asked a mate (one of the most well put together guys I know) if he had any adulting tips. Just came back with "if you ever find out, please tell me." Reply 1.0k ...

13.

Text - Ellixxerrr • 16h i used to be able to take days off work whenever i wanted and now i find myself having to have the "if you take that many days off you wont be able to pay your mortgage so suck it up and go to work." speech with myself at least once a week. lol Edit - for Clarification, I work as a nurse and we have our set schedules and between 3-6 weeks of vacation a year depending on where you work, your position, and seniority, etc. But I used to have multiple part time jobs instead o

14.

Text - KnarlyApplesauce • 15h I was 23, no high school diploma, and a security guard doing access control at an ice cream plant. I realized that if I didn't get out of there and do something, I would be 50 in the a flash, and not seen or done anything worthwhile. My life would have peaked at 20 and the rest of my time amounting to little more than waiting to die. Reply 547 ...

15.

Text - Vinny_the_Jackal • 14h When I lost my job (this was pre-Corona). I realized that l'd treated my career like it was school, as if would keep moving up automatically. It was a juvenile way to approach success, and I realized that if I wanted more from my life and career I couldn't just expect it to happen. Reply 542 ...

16.

Text - astronautzippy • 14h When they said, "some people will meet the person they are going to marry here" at my university welcome speech. That shit fucked me up real good. Reply 1.9k ...

17.

Text - dotdotline • 14h I was driving my sister around and I pointed out to her a building that used to be a Blockbuster where my dad would take us to when I was a kid. Then I was crying inside at the fact that I said "when I was a kid". | Reply 1 480 ...

18.

Text - Happy8Day • 15h When I was 19, I made I made a reference to one of my favorite shows from when I was 8-12, and a couple of 13 year olds listening had no idea what I was talking about. I'm learning that those moments never stop happening. Reply 1.6k ...

19.

Text - signeduptosaysong • 15h When I called someone "kid" Reply 640 ...

20.

Text - BlackHawk2101 • 16h When I had a file with all my important documents in it and it's really scary Reply 359 ...

21.

Text - MÄ°Leenalee • 15h When I was excited about a new vacuum cleaner. Reply 350

22.

Text - AncientEldritch • 15h This past Monday actually. My neighbor has 3 dogs she CONSTANTLY lets outside without leashes. We share a driveway that connects our two small backyards. I have an older dog. I went to take my girl out before work and she let her dogs out without looking. Her Pitbull attacked my dog and for 20 minutes we couldn't get it off her. At the end of it, my dog was seriously mauled, I was bit on the hand and arm pretty badly and suddenly, I had to be thr adult. I had to know

23.

Text - FizzyBeverage • 15h • Graduating high school • Losing my first grandparent Graduating college Getting my first job out of school "Here's the keys, here's the tag, here's the registration, here's your license back" Marrying my wife Having our daughters "Ok Fizzy, this mortgage will be 360 months with this much owed on the 1st of every month, we'll escrow your taxes and insurance" • Losing my dad "Ok Fizzy, these are the 12 engineers reporting to you, review their profiles, we'll pay you $

24.

Text - Syliase • 15h When I found out I had to choose between being dropping out of college and homeless, or going back to live with my abusive family. It really hit me hard that I didn't know what to do, but knew I had to do something. At the time, those weren't the only realistic options. But I was a kid and didn't know that. It took a lot of learning and making mistakes over and over for me to really understand that adulthood meant making it up as I went. I did end up dropping out of college

25.

Text - Buffyoh • 13h When I flunked out of undergrad, and I got a job in a factory building electrical machinery. I'd my reflection of myself in overalls with my toolbox, and it hit me hard that all the fun and games from HS were over, and I was not "Joe cool" anymore. Reply 96 ...

26.

Text - wormsquishy • 15h when it was Christmas Eve and i wasn't as excited and tried to get myself excited Reply 188 ...

Submitted by:

4 Sequels (And A Prequel) That Screw Up The Original Movie


Our friends at Cracked.com are back at it again with a fresh installment in their weekly video series, "Your Brain On Cracked." This time they take a look at four infamous sequels, and a prequel, that just messed up the original movie. Nothing hurts like a sequel that messes up its predecessor. 

Submitted by: (via Cracked)

Karen Racks Up $16K In Roaming Data, Refuses Steep Discount


One one hand, that's an insane rate for data, and it shouldn't cost that much. On the other hand, when you get 50 warning messages and your data turned off, but still push through and turn it back on so you can scroll through Facebook, you've made a mistake. Many people have experienced a frustrating time someone went full Karen, like this Karen who tailgated a driver right into a speed trap.

1.

Cheezburger Image 9495794944

2.

Cheezburger Image 9495795200

3.

Cheezburger Image 9495795456

4.

Cheezburger Image 9495795712

5.

Cheezburger Image 9495795968

6.

Cheezburger Image 9495796224

7.

Cheezburger Image 9495796480

8.

Cheezburger Image 9495796736

9.

Cheezburger Image 9495796992

10.

Cheezburger Image 9495797504

11.

Cheezburger Image 9495797760

12.

Cheezburger Image 9495794688

Submitted by: