Wednesday, March 15, 2017

No One On Twitter Feels Bad For the Bigoted Bathroom Bill Governor Who Can't Find a Job


politics

Pat McCrory, the former North Carolina governor behind the state's infamous bathroom bill, is out of the job and can't find work. It's as if no one wants to hire a bigot because that's what he says people are saying. 

Apparently, poor old Pat is having a hard time find a job because universities are nervous about student protests. It's as if students don't want to pay the salary of a bigot. He'll have to look somewhere else for sympathy because after leading his state on a transphobic witch hunt for months, he refused to give up his seat after he lost his re-election bid. 

To add insult to injury, everyone's making fun of him on Twitter:

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Tagged: politics

Amtrak Train Collides With Wall of Snow, Instantly Powder-Packing Nearby Commuters


And here I thought it was particularly shitty waiting for the bus this morning. 

Submitted by: (via Nick Colvin)

Watch a Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist Walk Into a Studio and Smoke Weed


No, this isn't the set up to a joke. 

In the name of spiritual unity and coexistence, a rabbi, a priest, and an atheist are smoking weed and talking about god together. This video is a high-guy conversation for the ages. 

Watch how this atheist goes on for about 40 minutes on how God doesn't exist and these two men of faith give him a 40-yard stare. Also, they talk about aliens and stuff. Also, they talk about conspiracy theories regarding drugs in the bible. Also, they're having the same conversations in every college dorm in America. 

Then they bless each other.

Submitted by: (via WatchCut Video)

Tagged: religion , weed

Fussy McDonald's Customer Orders Cheese, Gets Served Unfortunate Ration of Expectation Meets Reality


McDonald's,funny,fast food

In all honesty bro, you ordered a damn 'cheese'. You should've expected nothing more or less, and also, just like why? Why you do dis in the first place?

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People Are Ripping Donald Trump a New One After He Threatened 'Failing Career' Snoop Dogg With 'Jail Time'


Music,twitter,FAIL,donald trump,reactions,political pictures,snoop dogg,politics

During the controversial video for Snoop Dogg's "Lavendar" he can be seen quite literally taking aim with a pistol at a mock-up of Donald Trump. Obviously, these being the times we live in, such blasphemy couldn't go unaddressed; and by no one other than the president himself. Donald Trump lashed out in expectedly incendiary fashion, and proceeded to kick the ever hungry appetites of Twitter Trolls near and far. Come on DJ Trump, leave Snoop Dogg out of this. 

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Bam Margera's Vile Story About the Most Disgusting Thing a Jackass Fan Ever Did Is Stomach-Turning Terrible


wtf,gross,Bam Margera,disgusting,fans

In case you missed it, Bam Margera made his 'long awaited' return to skateboarding this week. An announcement that people seem equally indifferent and stoked about. Well, amidst the revival of Bargera we were fortunate enough to come across an interview where he shares the wildest thing he's ever seen a Jackass fan do; let's just say our expectations for such a committed, thrill-seeking, dangerously wild fanbase were grossly exceeded. 

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Creepy-Ass Children's Book Uses Clown Illustrations to Teach Kids About Sex


wtf,kids,creepy,parenting

I don't want to dig too hard on the author's efforts to present a naturally testy topic to address as parents with your kids, but dude, this is definitely on the outter end of the spectrum. Too many clowns and wackiness and an overriding wtf-theme almost retracts from whatever 'lessons' this book might otherwise get across to the ever hungry curiosities of kids. I'm the last one to tell anyone how to parent their kids. That being said, maybe keep this book off the regimen.

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Tagged: wtf , kids , creepy , parenting

Crazy Chick Goes Insane On People Recording Her After She Crashes Into Gas Station


To our crazy lady that failed to keep it remotely together: Ahem. Did you expect anything less? Was everyone supposed to sit back and act like you weren't driving round like a maddened bat outta hell? The usual reaction to someone crashing into things like, well, gas stations, is to at the very least get a recording going. Then again, that might've been a risky move when in such close premises to the eye of the shitstorm.

Submitted by: (via Shelikesitmyway 69)

Afternoon Awesome: 25 Memes to Keep the Day Going Strong


afternoon awesome,Memes

Here's a little something for the afternoon grind. 

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Here's Another Reason Not To Go To Florida: There's a Deadly Cobra on the Loose There


cobra,florida,snake

Lots of weird shit is always going in the Sunshine State. That's just the price of living in an area where a gator can just show up to any family function. Gators just have an open invite, I guess.

But people are particularly worried about Florida at the moment because police and wildlife officials have been on the hunt for a deadly monocled cobra since Monday.

Maybe it's time finally time to cut Florida loose. There's nothing wrong with having 49 states. 

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Tagged: cobra , florida , snake

Porn Stars Revealing the Most Embarrassing Moments They've Endured On the Job is Cringe on Steroids


From the moment I saw this headline I knew I was in for a special breed of cringe-till-your-eyes-close video. I mean, could you really expect anything less in this situation? A bunch of ladies that regularly wrestle with sexual depravity as part of their profession, are bound to come across some pretty wild, hair-raising, ball-shriveling, accounts of spontaneous embarrassment. 

Submitted by: (via Wood Rocket)

The Teachers of Reddit Are At It Again, Revealing Some of the Funniest Not-So Wrong Answers They've Ever Gotten


school,students,teachers

The secret to a good smart ass answer is to not be wrong. 

That's why these responses to teacher questions are so good. How are you going to argue with them? In most cases, you don't. Just laugh and move on. 

So check out some of the funniest answers that weren't technically wrong but weren't what the teacher was looking for. 

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15 Times Ryan Reynolds Was the Best Dad on Twitter


Everyone knows that Ryan Reynolds is the king of Twitter, but did you also know that he's the king of dad Twitter. He's been torturing his kids on Twitter, and it's hilarious.

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Gear Up for the St. Paddy's Day Debauchery With 10 of the Most Ridiculous Movie Drinking Scenes


drinking,drunk,St Patrick's Day,funny

The end time is near. Bars near and far have likely already been flooded with red-eyed, whiskey-breathed, stumblin and mumblin chain-smoking gentry that couldn't wait the extra couple days to drown their livers in a distilled sea of Jameson and whatever other shots will surely be on special for St. Paddy's Day. Or those fair and fine fiends never left after last call...Anyways.Gear up for what should be a highly entertaining, booze-soaked occasion, if not an epic start to a blur of a weekend bender with 10 fine displays of people drinking themselves silly. 

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Watch Mark Hamill Force Choke the Shit Out of Trump Staffer With One Tweet


fail mark hamill shuts down twitter troll

I wouldn't mess with Luke Skywalker because he could bring down a whole empire one handed. 

That didn't stop this Education Department employee from trying to bring the heat, regarding Mark Hamill's interview with The Daily Beast last november:

Probably not the smartest move, though. As we mentioned before, Mark Hamill is pretty good at this sort of thing. 

And people love watching him in action:






Submitted by: (via Bleeding Cool)

Kal Penn Is Sharing Scripts From All The Stereotypical Roles He Auditioned for as Young Actor


FAIL Blog

Kal Penn, cinema's Kumar and the White House's associate director of the Office of Public Engagement, has had quite a career. After years of smoking weed on screen, he actually got to work for the president. He even once got stabbed in the eye by Cheryl Hines on an episode of MasterChef. He's something else. 

But now that he's at the top of his game, he's sharing some memories from his first few years in Hollywood, trying out for roles such as Foreign Student and "Gandhi Lookalike." Wait, what? 

Yup, like so many Indian-American actors, Penn spent many years auditioning for stereotypical Indian roles and arguing with producers about whether he had to do an accent. Now, he's sharing these scripts on Twitter, and yeeeeeesh. 

via Reddit

Check 'em out:

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Tagged: FAIL Blog

ESPN Analyst Fails Terribly, Accidentally Draws NSFW Pic on Live TV


In an especially immersive drawing session, ESPN college basketball analyst, Jay Williams accidentally drew a couple stick figures seemingly having sex with each other. He goes on to claim said NSFW drawing is the Duke Blue Devils. Bruh. Your Pictionary game is weaak.

Submitted by: (via @RunTheBasesMLB)

Tagged: NSFW , espn , sports , FAIL , live tv , funny

The Daily FAIL: 50 Images and Memes to Get Hump Day Going


Memes,The Daily Fail,meme list

Morning all! Here's your daily dose of memes and images to get that Wednesday cruising.

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Brazillian Soccer Fans Storm Field, Fight, and Steal This Dude's Pants


For all it's low-scoring, distance-running patience, soccer can be a pretty violent, godless sport. While it might seem like all orange slices and shin guards, it's really a boiling pot just waiting to spill over. 

Sunday's game between Gama and Brasiliense was definitely in the latter category. Watch these fans storm the field during the game, cause mayhem, and do this to one poor bastard: 



via BroBible

Submitted by: (via WPA Sports)

Tagged: fight , soccer

Watch This High Schooler Get Destroyed Doing the Milk Crate Pyramid in Gym Class... Wait, What?


gym class,school

Everyone has their favorite gym activity. Whether it's dodge ball, capture the flag, or even square dancing week, there's something for everybody in gym — even if your thing is climbing the milk crate pyramid, whatever that is. 

Twitter exploded yesterday become of one of the strangest and funniest gym class fails in a minute. Harnessed to a rope, this student attempted to climb a milk crate pyramid when, well...

I'd say that didn't go according to plan, if I knew the plan. Was she trying to get to the top of that or was this some kind human bowling situation? Either way, people love it. Check it out: 

 

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Tagged: gym class , school

Spice Things Up By Sharing a Few of These 37 Dirty Cards


sex,cards,card,dirty

It's an older meme sir, but it checks out. 

Internet cards may basically be an ancient wonder of the internet at this point, given that their main rise in popularity was around 10 years ago, but these ones have a little extra spice to them, so we'll allow it. Plus, it's hard not to harbor a love for older memes. 

Send these dirty cards to that special someone to throw a changeup at their day. Just don't go sending them to family members, cause that's a little weird. 

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Tagged: sex , cards , card , dirty

Watch the World's Worst Barber Slap His Client in the Fact


There's not much to this video, but if you're a fan of watching a barber slap their client in the face, then this is for you. 

The description reveals the inspiration for this slap in the face to hair stylists everywhere:

"I saw a video on Facebook titled "when a customer walks in right when it's time to close" where he slaps around the guy in the chair and so I thought I'd do my own version for a laugh."

I think I'll just go to Supercuts.

Submitted by: (via ViralHog)

Tagged: haircut , barber

NYC Called Off The Blizzard Warning, So Everyone's Calling the Blizzard "Flake News"


weather,storms

New York City is calling a better safe than sorry on the whole blizzard thing. 

After New York failed to get the promised 18 inches of snow and instead just got a shit-ton of freezing rain, weather officials downgraded the storm, making it kind of a bust. 

But as you can imagine, that just means we're going to be getting a different kind of storm: A tweet storm.

via GIPHY

Yeah people are making jokes about the storm, and it's even more brutal than the snow. 

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Tagged: weather , storms