Saturday, October 3, 2020

New Employee is Not Having Free Donut Day


Getting used to a new work dynamic can be stressful, and this new employee decided that they wouldn't be bullied into participating in free donut day. Instead of just blowing the thing off, they thought to make their point more clear in the form of middle finger donuts. For some more office shenanigans, here's an employee who annoyed their coworker with plants.

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Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance - Posted by u/grillbuster5 11 hours ago It is MY day to buy donuts for the entire office as the new person?? Well...OK.... oc M As the "new person" at my job, I was told multiple times that I was expected to provide donuts for the entire office. Normally, that's not a big deal... but two people in particular were rude and relentless about the donuts all week. Others joined in also. Apparently, these people recently extorted two boxes of Krispy Kremes from someone e

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Text - Here's the problem, I was hired in as a Sr., 30 years old, and I was not necessarily loving the idea of being told to buy donuts. Hazing really did not seem appropriate at this point of my career. I didn't want to be a "bad sport" my first week, so I played along. In terms of the workforce, I was mature, but I was not very mature as a person overall. I needed a creative way to address this problem. On my way to work, I decided to pickup a cheap bag of small powdered hostess "donettes" don

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Text - The reaction from the staff was a lot of the "deer in headlights" looks. People had no idea if I was a "really nice, but clueless" person, or if I was totally saying “F U" to the entire donut idea. Most people took the "safe" choice of being pleasant in return. Some people tried to refuse, but I mentioned the "big deal" about buying donuts, and still left a donut on every desk. I had originally considered providing a donut to everyone except the last two idiotic pushy people. I started ve

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Text - My idea to passive aggressively snub them was no longer good enough. This had to be more direct. I decided I was 100% done with these guys, regardless of the consequences. I told them I had another idea. I grabbed a plastic knife from the breakroom, and cut the remaining donut in half the long way, so I still had two circles. The yellow cake was now visible. Then - the most brilliant idea of my life. A new way to hold donuts. One donut on each middle finger, with my middle finger in the c

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Text - I stopped at both desks. The first guy had his choice of two half donuts on my middle fingers. That's right, I was able to give him a double donut middle finger. He now understood that I was completely done with his BS, but he never grabbed a donut. I explained the donuts are actually quite tasty, and urged him to take one, but Im sure I looked like a complete psycho. I was no longer able to stay in character. The good news - his refusal to take a donuts from my middle fingers ALSO allowe

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Text - The reaction of the last person is best described as completely frightened. That's right, I reached a complete breaking point over donuts, and scared the hell out of someone. Anyway, after this incident, I was never asked to buy donuts again.

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Tagged: bully , donuts , employee , Office , lol , story , funny , work

Tumblr Thread: Recipes From Around The World


This quick and entertaining Tumblr thread shines light on various recipe stereotypes from all corners of the globe. The comments section really stepped up to keep the train rolling with more hot takes on recipes. You be the judge on whether or not this is an accurate reflection of different recipes as they're typically known to specific cultures. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this Tumblr thread about collateral damage caused by Mythbusters.

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Text - french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house thirdtimecharmed american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

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Text - svynakee chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. orriculum English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy dianetti Australian recipes: just... fcki ng put the sprinkles...on the bread... h oly shit fuccin gourmet cuisine right the re holy fuck

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Text - HonorlnDefeat • 22h • ACTIVATE THE QUAZARS! . Mexican Recipes: You will never get it the way abuelita makes it, just make Tex-Mex, idiot Tex-Mex Recipes: You are eating spice. Fucking spicy food. It's hot as shit. All other foods are wimpy little snowflakes for not putting as much spiciness on food as we do. A dragon will manifest in your stomach and fucking ruin your life. Your tongue will fucking protest the south vietnamese government. Witches will sympathize with your charred and ruin

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Text - alxwak • 20h 1 Award The greek recipes are usually passed down through generations and are like the Asian ones. Me: puts a pinch of salt to the food Grandma: that's not enough Me: puts a second pinch Grandma: that's way too much! Me: how much should I have put? Grandma: you know. A pinch. Reply 197 ...

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Text - QuantumMemery01 • 21h • Not gay, BUT Brazillian recipes: don't even bother, we all know you'll just eat rice and beans again Reply 89 ...

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Text - AlpacaMan104•21h Dutch Recipes: throw a bunch of fuckin vegetables in a pot then flatten em Reply 93 ...

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Text - SteveHeist • 21h • Clueless Ace Babish recipes: Ok, first we need a calf. We need to raise it on a blend of 60% grass & 40% barley for maximum beef tenderness. While that's going, plant the corn stalks for the cornbread, and fertilize with a dead fish, seasoned to taste with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Reply 188 ...

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Text - OdiiKii1313 • 19h • ÙwÚ Cuban recipes: Now, what you're gonna wanna do is take your entire spice rack and just dump everything on the food. Make sure to go extra hard on the olive oil and garlic. Now bake and serve with so many sides you literally explode, die of heart disease, and develop diabetes at the same time. Reply 60 ...

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Text - dormant_kerosene • 18h • femboy with a gun Indian Recipes: Contemplate. Go for a walk. Take a deep breath. See that garlic? You are that garlic. Take a bite out of it.

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Text - roseofhammerfell • 17h Midwestern USA Recipes: Take all the ingredients for any recipe, put them in a glass dish, and then add cheese. All the cheese. Cheese curds, shredded cheese, melted cheese, the works. Extra points if you also add mayo or tator tots. Bake for 20 minutes and call it a casserole. Reply 36 ...

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Text - SaraiHarada • 18h German recipes: Well, we wrote you instructions, but don't follow them. Just a bit. But not fully, you will need to change a few things. How much you ask? Until it feels right of course. Reply 31

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Wholesome Memes for a Little Boost


Life can give us a lot of garbage to deal with, so it's healthy to have a reminder that all the time there are people pulling through for each other. Even among the rough, there's some diamonds of positivity to grab onto. For example, there's this wholesome security team who saved an office's plants, or this wholesome neighbor who's helpful for no reason.

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Hair - 7 This 8-year-old boy spent 2 years growing his hair to make wigs for kids with cancer.

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Dish - Madea pie crust. Turned around to get filling. Turned back around and this is what I found.

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Text - AMFarmer @AM_Farmer I know things are dark, but I just watched the FedEx guy pluck a snail from the sidewalk, cradle it in his gloves, and find just the right-sized tulip in our front yard to set it inside.

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Ceiling - "Delivery guys who put in the extra effort to decrease the chance of your package getting stolen are the real MVPS."

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Dog - DOGS ALLOWED

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Tattoo - "During my wrist surgery, the surgeon incised around my tattoo. He could've not cared and cut right through it."

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Text - I convinced my dad to get his first tattoo and he sent me something that my little sister painted...let's just say I'm a crying mess right now Solitaire LTE e 87% 7:07 PM Look at some of her sketches when 37 you get home. F father > Would you get the color or just black? I think I'd have to get the color. She put the colors for a reason. It's almost pride like right?! I do have two gay daughters whom I'm very proud of, so I think I would definitely get the color I love you so much, my hea

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Fun - "These 2 girlsI met tonight spent half an hour comforting this crying homeless woman. After she stopped crying, they chatted with her for another 30 minutes."

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Facial expression - My nan has dementia and every day she meets my dog for the first time and falls in love with him over and over again

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Vehicle door - My parents told my little sister she couldn't dye her hair unless she found someone to do it with her ... so guess who has purple hair now KE

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Plant - ALE

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Skin - Northern ghost bats are grumpy cotton balls

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Dinosaur - "My wife took our cat to the vet and my son told the vet his toy dinosaur was feeling bad, so the vet gave it an X-ray.."

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Photograph - "Yesterday Imarried my soulmate and our little boy delivered the rings with his wheelchair"

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Text - Before we got married, you already had your own ps4 but you sold it to buy my engagement ring. So I replaced with a new one for your birthday. Happy birthday husband. fotion PlayStation STARTER STARTER

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Text - Don't get excited. I'm reusing the hox. psych! NDO Enjoy! NI SWITCH

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Dudes Try Their Best to Get Ball Back


Honestly, most of us would see a ball in a canal like that and just chalk it up as a loss. But not these guys. These guys went through hell and low water to get that thing back. It may not have been the perfect plan, but hell, you can't fault them for all the effort.

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Tagged: effort , ball , save , lol , amazing , return , funny , trying

Tumblr Thread: Cultures Clash Over The Size Of The UK


People on the internet are finding something new to argue about every day. This time though, we've got a very serious matter at hand; we're talking about cultures clashing over the size of the UK. It's key to note that distance isn't everything. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this post about the banana-fixated cat.

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Text - im-a-tnuc-deactivated20181220 I don't know why, but I think some Americans don't realise how big the UK is.... American Customer: you're English right? Do you know the bookshop between Wales and Bristol that has lots of books in? Me in my head: yeah mate, I know that one. Classic. Love to pop down there on a cheeky break between work. What a wanker... lizq-vs-the-kitkatuprising the continuous 48 states are is almost 39x the size of the isle of great britan that's your answer

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Map - A mymindsecho For reference: North Sea Edinburgh Glasgow United Kingdom Denm Isle of Man Leeds Hamb Dublin Manchester OOsheffield Liverpool Birmingham Bremen tietand Amsterdam Bielefeld Netherlands London Dusseldort Belgium Gern Cologne Lurembourg Frankfurt Paris

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Text - That's JUST Texas. pukicho When will the UK learn that they are puny little ants in which to be crushed???

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Text - toastpotent where's that post where the british person was like "oh yeah i only get to see my dad 2-3 times a year because he lives so far away :/" and a person asked "oh no how far away is he?" and the british person said "75 minutes"

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Map - regularlesbian Cardiff Bristol

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Text - op it literally takes about 20 minutes to get to wales from bristol, op that's a reasonable question do you understand geography amandabellman leave europe alone you fucking colonizers

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Text - darkvioletcloud It takes my mom an hour to drive to work. Sometimes more. Europeans are cowards. armchair-factotum "Leave Europe alone you fucking colonizers" Should we tell them?

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Text - keyhollow I drove 6 hours just to pick someone up and bring them home because it's nbd choochoobear Sorry, I'm still stuck on "Leave Europe alone, you colonizers." lasombritas do they know

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Text - cuteskitty OnIMaps @onlmaps Follow Chile Is Long Enough To Stretch From Lisbon, Portugal To Moscow, Russia When Overlaid On Europe. #map #maps te United Kingdem Poland Germany Uraine Fra Romania

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Guy Plays Mind-Boggling Cover Of Interstellar On Accordion


Whoever says that accordions are not awesome instruments capable of epic performances has clearly never seen this. Batman is the hero we need and deserve. 

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Toxic Boss Drives Employees To Their Breaking Point


Just picturing the look on this dude's face when he turned up, looking to make money off selling those shirts and realizing that he had nothing is enough to fill one's heart with joy. Omaha sure was a long way to go over nothing. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/SadConfiguration • 2y And the deposit was lost... I'm somewhat new to reddit and have been reading these pro revenge stories and feel like I have a good offering. In the early 2000's I was working at a Graphics and T- Shirt printing shop in a major college town in the Midwest. I was a graphic design major and it just made sense for me to be involved in screen printing and design. The owner of the company was a very socially awkward dude that went to the university an

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Text - around after graduation to make his money. He had deep roots in the community, was on several alumni boards, etc... as such he had many large contracts with universities in the same athletic conference (one of the largest in the nation) as our college. This meant we spent most of our day rehashing old sports designs to meet new criteria. A lot of it was event based, meaning if a certain team won a certain game and there needed to be a shirt made to commemorate it, I was on call to do that

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Text - Now (we'll call him) Ron wasn't a cheery guy. In fact I don't think l'd ever seen him smile. But as of late he had been getting more bold with his three designers (myself, Tim, and Carla, who was the art director). He would venture up into the art room and hover while we worked. He evidently didn't like what he saw because he made me take my inspiration board down because it was "clutter". The hovering and critiquing didn't sit well with us, but whatever, it's his business. Then, he hires

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Text - designs and the amount of time it took us to do them. Needless to say, we weren't happy. So, one day Tim and I come back from lunch and Ron is upstairs in the design room lighting Carla up. He's yelling that she was costing him money because designs were sent back for revisions or took too long or just plain weren't good. As we were all very competent designers and worked under ridiculous deadlines all the time, it kinda confused us. Regardless, Tim and I both liked Carla as a boss and di

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Text - pushed past us on the way down the stairs and went home. She had been getting recruited by another screen printing place in town anyway, so she took that opportunity to jump ship. Good for her we thought. Fast forward about a month. Tim and I were even more unhappy than before because now, not only were Ron and his dad constantly breathing down our necks, but we had a three person workload with two people. He became even more pushy and rude and started to come unhinged. I almost hit him o

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Text - The CWS (College World Series) is in Omaha every year. The CWS was Ron's second biggest cash cow next to the NCAA Men's basketball tournament in March. Every year he rented an 18 wheeler with a 4- color process press in the back of it to take to Omaha. The deposit was $10k and like another $10k for the full rental. We'd watch the games and start getting the designs ready as soon as it was apparent a team was going to win. We printed the shirts right there on the spot and had them hot off

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Text - riding in the truck, his assistant and several other office staff were pooling in a van, and Tim and I were driving separate in my truck. It was to be a convoy. The truck took off, the van fell in behind it, and we fell in behind the van. They turned off on the highway toward Omaha and Tim and I went to the bar. They didn't notice until they got to Omaha. I saved the voicemails just in case I disappear some day. He shuttered four months later and rebranded as a design only firm. Gotcha Bi

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Ridiculous Google Question Spirals Out Of Control


This quick Tumblr post shows just how quickly those dumb questions we type into Google can quickly spiral out of control. At least we don't actually have tons of moths trying to fly into the sun everyday. That'd be sad. Very sad. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this Tumblr thread that provides an extreme analysis of the Ratatouille timeline.

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Cheezburger Image 9558521856

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Cheezburger Image 9558522112

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Cheezburger Image 9558522368

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Cheezburger Image 9558522624

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Cheezburger Image 9558522880

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Tagged: FAIL , tumblr , sun , dumb , funny , space , funny tumblr

Tumblr Post: Barista Handles Trickster Customer


Every now and again we can get caught up in unique interactions while out going about our daily business that reminds us we share a planet with some particularly unique individuals. This quick and entertaining Tumblr post about a strange customer makes him sound like he was the mad hatter himself. 

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Text - taylortut y'all know that john mulaney quote "the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?" every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

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Pen

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Text - taylor-tut i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was "watching her weight" so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says "wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?" (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

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Text - anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying "you can't wait for a watch; you don't have the time" and then he said "oh, quick girl!", gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything patron-saint-of-smart-asses You pleased a mad fae trickster

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Karen And Child Get Upset Over Cookie, Hilarity Ensues


Clearly, Karen never learned the idea of "sharing is caring." Fortunately, this cookie enthusiast was ready to step up and deliver the lesson that needed learning. The fact that they just walked on, and carried on with their business was really the icing on the cake. Some people are just impossible to be reasoned with. Check out some more juicy Karen drama, with this Karen who wanted her tip back from a perfectly great waitress.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge u/MaxTitanium • 1d + Join Sharing is caring, and Karen ain't caring One day, I was walking through City Market with my mom, the quiet buzzing of the lights only slightly annoying. All seemed well, and I decided to get one of the sample cookies from the back. Seems perfectly normal, right? So, I grab my cookie, which happened to be the last non-burnt one, as another family is coming into the back aisle. I'm not a particularly social person, so I started to walk away. This fa

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Text - They realize that there aren't any more non burnt cookies, which, in my opinion, shouldn't be a problem. Cookies are cookies, especially free ones. The child wails horrifically, and notices that my cookie, that I haven't yet taken a bite out of, wasn't burnt! Wonderful observation skills, little Timmy. The mom approaches me and asks in a sickly sweet tone, one you can tell is obviously faked, if I would mind giving my cookie to her kid. I wasn't sure if the tone was from her having a head

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Text - The kid looked confused at this, which immediately felt off. The mom's face contorted from 'nice' to confused to offended very quickly, as if not offering the entire cookie had somehow forsaken her entire family and she stared at me like I was going to sacrifice a goat in order to curse them. I, naturally, was confused, and realizing what was happening a bit too late, backed away and tried walking away. The lady placed her hand on my shoulder, preventing me from walking away. (I was maybe

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Text - The guttural "rrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeEeEeEeEeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEE" released from both her and her entitled child gave me the chills, and she marched up to me and tried to take the cookie from me. Before she could, a lightbulb flickered on, before bursting in my head from the excitement to see the next levels of rage and profanities my plan was about to induce. I stuffed the entire cookie in my mouth. Now, these cookies were fairly big, bigger than the basic sugar cookies they usually gi

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Text - Karen exploded at me, screeching profanities at me, many of which I surprisingly hadn't heard before. I stood there, the smuggest grin on my little face, as I slooowly chewed on the cookie, continuing to rub salt in the wound, until the profanities turned into indiscernible noises. Was it wrong of me to do so? Probably. Do I regret doing so? Absolutely not. After maybe three minutes of random sounds ejecting from the deep, dark chasm this woman produced, she stopped to take a breath. I ha

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Text - "I'm not done with you!" She yelled after me. Obviously, I chose to ignore her at this point, as I was just done with her. As soon as I was out of the aisle, I booked it back to my mom and continued on like nothing had happened. TI;dr: Karen and her child got upset when they couldn't have my free cookie from City Market, hilarity ensues. Edit-Thank you everyone for the kind words, and may your chocolate chip cookies never turn out to be raisins! 1 1 7 2 3.5k 214 1 Share

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Things That Smell Good But Taste Bad


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about things that smell good, but actually taste terrible. What comes to mind before anything else, would be dog food. Anyone else? Stuff always smelled so good, and maybe you went out there on a limb, tasted the stuff, and instantly realized that the stuff in fact is not at all good for human consumption. 

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White - SooLine • 5h Straight vanilla extract. Reply 1.2k ...

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White - duchy4112 • 5h Candles Reply 626 ...

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White - OttoManSatire • 3h Orange peels Reply 35 ... +3

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White - AR100 • 5h Laundry detergent Reply 29 ...

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Text - thedean246 • 4h 2 Awards Cocoa powder. When I was a kid I was so convinced that it would taste good. My mom even tried to warn me, but it's chocolate right? My younger self was very disappointed. Reply 442 ...

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White - Qasim_m • 4h Perfume Reply 32 ... +3

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Text - cannotaccessorize • 4h 1 Award PLAYDOH!!! Reply 122 ...

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Text - bbkeef • 4h Febreeze (sometimes you spray too much and end up tasting it) Reply 23 ...

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Text - VictorBlimpmuscle • 4h Cherry-flavored chapstick - 5-year-old me learned that one the hard way. Reply 102 ...

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White - PiscesPolack • 5h Roses. Reply 67 ...

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White - noah_cooley • 5h 1 Award Coffee Reply 122 ...

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White - PMforTributes • 4h Almond extract Reply ...

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White - Lucille68 • 4h Dog treats. Reply 4 ... +3

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White - EmLahLady • 3h Cat food. Reply Vote ...

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White - Cordealio • 3h Gasoline. Reply Vote ...

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White - Turtleman237 • 5h Soap Reply 286 +3

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Text - ChoPT • 3h Those scented markers we had as kids. Reply 19 ...

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Text - pokegirl395 • 3h Cinnamon. Straight up cinnamon is disgusting Reply Vote ...

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White - RealNumber44•5h Campfire smoke Reply 210 ...

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Text - Rukawork • 3h There are some Tea's that smell amazing but taste like horrible bitter garbage. Reply 14 ...

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