FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 05/03/20

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Absurd Individuals Who Didn't Get Satire

By now, people should be aware of things like satirical news websites, but for some reason, we still get sadly mistaken people who didn't understand satire. Whether it's because they didn't read the source, got so angry they wanted to believe a joke headline, or are just plain dumb, people will believe the dumbest headlines. These sites have been around for years and mistaken people still don't get satire.

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion 5h Frustrated Subway Marketers Scrap $150 Million Jeffrey Epstein Ad Campaign trib.al/ M43cuzu #OurAnnualYear2019 FOUNDED ON FRESH OUR ANNUAL YEAR Best of July 30 27317 2,895 Replying to @TheOnion Why would they have thought this was a good idea

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Nose - Biden cut a hole so he can still sniff peoples hair. 1 Comment O Like Comment Send stupid ass, defeats the purpose of the mask

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Text - Study: COVID-19 Impacts Men, Women More Than All Other Genders Combined March 26th, 2020 thebabylonbee Now there is study wouth the (Tìma) nioney spent. What dumb ass college wasted time and money on this. Stupidity is in abundance !!! 37m Ronlu

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Text - Tweet @HardDriveMag · 12h Christian Bale Gains 450,000 Pounds to Play Sandworm in 'Dune' Remake Hard Drive Christian Bale Gains 450,000 Pounds to Play Sandworm in 'Dune' Remake thehardtimes.net 68 27 1,946 12.2K Sylveonica @AncientBolt Replying to @HardDriveMag I don't think they did. And it's not possible to gain that much. 18:31 · 14 Apr 20 · Twitter Web App

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Face - Yesterday at 12:10am · e Can someone explain what this is saying there are a lot of three year olds in the world two year olds and one year olds im so confused. Youngest Child Ever? Jonah Is Just 3 Years Old CLICKHOLE.COM Like · Share My nephew is two. 18 hrs · Like

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Text - The Onion Yesterday at 4:29 PM • "Man, this shit never gets old." THEONION.COM Zoom CEO Reclines Back In Chair In Front Of Massive Wall Of Screens Displaying 10 Milli.. Jocelyn Herrington This guy is nothing more than a snooper. Has no life of his own, so needs to feed on other people's life... shame on him!

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Text - Obama: I'm So Proud To Endorse Joe Biden-That's Who They Went With, Huh?-For President' bit.ly/3416x9t 28 27 171 1,049 Replying to @TheOnion Wow says a lot about the candadate the Democrats are choosin that even Obama who had Biden as his own Vice president is suprised by it

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Text - ul Cell C * 17:47 The Onion O @TheOnion 15h Geneticists Debate Ethics Of Cloning Humans And Forcing Them To Fight To Death In Pit For Our Amusement bit.ly/3evoz3n 73 27362 3,319 1 Replying to @TheOnion How is this even a debate. The hell is wrong with the world today? Tweet your reply Σ

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Job - THE HUMAN G-SPOT PROJEC THEONION.COM Scientists Announce They've Completed Mapping The Human G-Spot O Like A Share Just another way to get money while sitting on there asses, leave things alone and get a real job 7h Like

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion 8h More Realistic Meat Substitute Made From Soy Raised In Brutally Cruel Conditions bit.ly/3exU8t8 29 27 464 3,685 Replying to @TheOnion and @imanitartt They need to stop cooking shit up in the lab, bout to make another virus 4:02 PM · 18 Apr 20 · Twitter for Android

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Peeps BONELESS. SKWLES MARSHMALLO BREASTS Peeps THEONION.COM Peeps Unveils New Boneless, Skinless Marshmallow Breasts The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and mor. You and 8.5K others 505 Comments 4.3K Shares Like Comment Share Most Relevant Write a comment... GIF What! How is this news??? At a time like this, in the middle of a pandemic! Some corporations have ZERO soul Like · Reply · 29m 46 A Hide 11 Replies

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Text - 12:49 1 3 hrs · : Here we go again... April 12 at 2:33 PM· O New global virus called ID-10T is spreading quickly by @HeroicHenry March 31, 2020 A new global virus is quickly spreading globally. The new virus, ID-10T, has been reported in every country. Everyone is susceptible to the virus.

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Font - Sweet revenge: scientists infect bat with human flu I....l.. Vote 4 Share Award * BEST COMMENTS Frick1977 · 20m Abusing animals makes you smile? I thought that was a marker for a psychopath. And bats didn't do this. Humans did. Humans literally eating animals while they are still alive. But yeah let's blame the animals for existing. Reply

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion 22m 15 Most Common Misspellings bit.ly/ 2XX5DJO Truk O 22 2739 363 Replying to @TheOnion Seriously?! "Truk"! 12:44 PM · 4/6/20 · Twitter for iPad

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Text - ull Verizon LTE 4:03 PM O 1 n0 51% Tweet Jack Del Rio @coachdelrio Pure ignorance The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee 32m Liberal Treated With Hydroxychloroquine Hopes He Still Dies Of COVID-19 To Prove Trump Is Stupid buff.ly/2URli6M 3:57 PM 4/7/20 Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 26 Likes SGA @SGA_FLA · 4m Replying to @coachdelrio Who wants to tell him?

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Fictional character - shared a link. New Member · 3 hrs Created from a grant from Kentucky! AWB&S 102 O_LRY RELIGIMAROLE.COM Five Televangelists transmute to form giant prayer bot to fight evil atheists. 14 1 Comment O Like Comment Is this for real? Don't get me wrong, though. Many Christians are smart enough to know their way around technology. Like · Reply · 55m · Edited

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Font - CNN @SuperToughScene · 2h CNN Those who do marijuana are 1000x more likely to contract the COVID-19 virus, a new study finds: edition.cnn.com/2020/04/10/hea. 338 271,908 O 5,536 Replying to @SuperToughScene It's from @CNN, that makes the odds of this being true about 12 gazillion to 1. No @CNN, I am not clicking the link to your story even. I will search for another source before I give you any income.

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Product - 4 hrs · * This is great news! Let's hope Australia follows suit! NBC NEWS EXCLUSIVE GISHGALLOP.COM Donald Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program O Like Comment Share 2

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Photo caption - Mallor Weanesday a 8:11 PM · O BELEEN TRKET BALBEN THKET BABYLONBEE.COM Trump Announces He Has Hidden 5 Golden Tickets Among Stimulus Checks O Like Comment Share 13 1 share Yes Lord!!! 01 2d Like Reply

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Text - Yesterday at 23:37 • The rise of the Dragon is the antichrist system THEONION.COM Pope Francis Hosts Feathered Serpent God As Part Of Deity Exchange Program

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Transport - HARD Eiers The Hard Times O @REALpunkn... · 1h v 5 Places City Officials Made More Punk Rock 5 Places City Officials Made More Punk Rock thehardtimes.net t716 O 129 Replying to @REALpunknews and @queenburtis Those are there to stop homeless people from sleeping or taking shelter. That is NOT punk rock.

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion 15m Make sure any bat or pangolin meat you cook reaches 165 degrees Fahrenheit in order to kill all bacteria. bit.ly/39R1N2V Best Methods For Staying Safe From Coronavirus 45 27 279 1,186 Replying to @TheOnion It says right in the name it's a virus not a bacteria. 10:31 AM 07 Apr 20 · Twitter for Android

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Cat - Waterford Whispers News ww news 8 hrs • * i O WATERFORD WHISPERS NEWS 1 MIN READ 'Dogs Can't Eat Chocolate' Revealed To Be Some Shit Cats Made Up 2.3k 387 comments • 563 shares Like לן Comment Share Owen Kelly How can a cat make some thing up???? You should never feed dogs chocolate no matter what this paper says! You should fact check before printing something like this ...your putting dogs lives at risk...you should be ashamed.

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Photo caption - MINO AND MORTALITY SCIENCE WATCH RESEARCHERS SUCCESSFULLY TEACH GORILLA IT WILL ONE DAY DIE ONION IL-CHASM CALIFORNIA BIOTECH FIRM INTRODUCES 3 NEW ENVIRC iliyas10 • 6 days ago i Why the hell do humans wanna give animals Existential crisis... VIEW 5 REPLIES Kes McC • 6 days ago This is incredible and it's mind blowing how human like gorillas are. I do feel really sorry for the poor gorilla though, those scientists made him have an existential crisis and demean himself :( GE

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Tagged: news , mistaken , jokes , the onion , headline , satire , fake news , ridiculous , mistake , stupid

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Karen Demands Employee Fix Old Purchase For Free

Eat a lemon. Yes, that's the rare insult of the day. Here we have another fine display of an entitled Karen blindly wreaking havoc on otherwise peaceful negotiations. Fortunately, the employee was ready to reject the entitled proposal, and instead serve up a reality check free of charge.

If this interaction left you hungry for more cases of entitlement, then check out these entitled individuals and their never-ending demands.

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Text - Warranty repair Inbox Mavis M. to me 6:16 pm View details Hello, we have purchased a custom desk and the switch that adjusts it does not work. Also power supply cord is too short and won't reach our wall plug. We would like some one to come out and fix it under warranty

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Text - Abs D to Mavis 6:18 pm View details Hi Mavis, I do apologise, this has never happened before. Can you send me the serial number on the front right corner of the desk please and l'll look it up. Cheers Abs Show quoted text

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Text - Mavis to me 6:21 pm View details Yes Hello, it says "C=Amiga060" Thankyou for your reply Mavis Show quoted text

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Text - Mavis M. to me 6:30 pm View details No that won't do. The gentleman I purchased it from said it was under warranty and i need you to repair it and lengthen the cord. I will be home between 9am and 4pm tomorrow and 9am till 11am Saturday. Regards Mavis

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Text - Abs D to Mavis 6:36 pm View details Hi Mavis, There's a logistics problem as I'm assuming you're in Queensland since it was shipped there originally. Our warranty is for 2 years which is pretty generous. I don't know what to say other than to contact the gentleman you bought it from, Or perhaps get an electrician. Sincerely Abs Show quoted text

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Text - Mavis to me 6:44 pm View details Yes I am in Queensland. I need this fixed or I will be contacting Fair Trading as you are the manufacturer and this is a faulty product. You should have a longer warranty since this is custom made and I'm assuming doesn't comply with Australian standards. Show quoted text

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Text - Abs to Mavis 6:52 pm View details Mavis, I think I will leave this conversation right here. You go and contact fair trading and i wish you all the best. I assure you we comply by AUS/NZ CS-088 thankyou for assuming we're dodgy. Show quoted text

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Text - Mavis T to me 7:00 pm View details No, you will not end this by acting holier than thou. You will arrange for somebody to fix this or I will expose you to 'A current Affair' and 'Ray Hadley'. Your mob wouldn't want that sort of attention I'm sure. Regards Mavis Show quoted text

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Text - Absl to Mavis 7:08 pm View details I'm actually known for being assholier than thou but i gave you quarter for being a lady. I won't take threats from an entitled lop sided hairstyle. Go nuts, send my regards to Ray. Ps. Since we're judging, I think you don't comply with Australian standards. Eat a lemon Show quoted text

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Text - Mavis T to me 7:16 pm View details And you are a rude immature shithead. I assure you that you will rue your decision to turn this warranty situation into a war of insults. You will be hearing from my solicitors and more so, enjoy your feature on A Current Affair

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Text - Show quoted text Abs to Mavis 7:42 pm View details Sorry for the late reply, I was rue-ing my decision. Please advise your solictor to forward any legal correspondence to my solicitor - Richard_Böhlsach@taint.com Show quoted text

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Tagged: customer service , employee , entitlement , FAIL , cringe , ridiculous , karen

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Commander Discusses UFO Encounters In Articulate Manner

It's fun to see a military commander detail his experiences with unidentified phenomenon, while flying those skies. Seems like he actually might've seen some strange stuff up there. You be the judge.

Submitted by: (via JRE Clips)

Tagged: Aliens , awesome , Video , space , air force

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Animal Crossing Player's Home Tour Gets Dark Quick

Yup, that went from 0 to 100 at a moment's notice. What begins as a lovely, warm, and bubbly home tour from an Animal Crossing player takes a dark turn. You just had that strange feeling creeping up your spine, as the tour progressed, almost knowing that things were indeed too good to be true.

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Cartoon - Cartoon - Oh, hello there! Welcome to my humble abode! Allow me to show you around!

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Cartoon - Cartoon - We'll start in the kitchen. It's not much, but it's where I get to cook up some delicious grub for my guests! Should I put a kettle on?

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Cartoon - Cartoon - Over here we have the living room, where we can watch the big game, maybe listen to some tunes, or even just sit and chat for a while!

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Cartoon - Product - Next up is my workshop, where al the DIY magic that makes Ciela beautiful happens. Ooh, I just felt another idea come on!

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Cartoon - Just to the right, we have my laundry room. Oh, the cycle's finished. I'll fold that later.

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Text - After a hard day's work, it's best to unwind in a luxurious bathroom. I like to keep it nice and steamy in here. Oh, gosh, we better move on before I doze off from all this coziness!

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Animated cartoon - Next up, my bedroom, perfectly tailored to my *giggles* maybe a little quirky style! Don't let the skulls fool you, it's quite comfy in here!

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Text - Before I go to bed, I like to write a journal about all the fun I had through the day while I play some of my favorite jams on vinyl.

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Cartoon - Oh, silly me, I almost forgot! Last, but not least...

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Cartoon - Text - This is where make sure nothing ever goes wrong on my beautiful island.

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Cartoon - Text - So before you go, remember, I am always watching you. Always. Day and night. Ihave more eyes than you could believe. MOVER BOUVE TVV. DEVWE and MEVVS STVB

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Text - Remember that, Zucker. Remember that the next time you think about taking peaches from my orchard, or I'll be serving my next guest Tako. 77455 0.

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Tagged: Video Game Coverage , dark humor , animal crossing , video games , video game logic , funny

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Rude Chinese Customer Doesn't Know Cashier Speaks Mandarin Chinese

This is why everyone should just be nice to each other, and not go around trash talking people. What's the point of trash talk anyways? What does it do? The look on these rude customers' faces must've been nothing short of pure terror, indeed.

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Text - They didn't know I speak Chinese too So I'm a white Caucasian female, but I am fluent in Mandarin Chinese and English. Now, looking at me, you wouldn't know I can speak Mandarin, which is why I find it absolutely hysterical to mess with people when they come through my line speaking Chinese, and I understand every word their saying. My co workers find it especially hysterical. Okay, so the other day this Chinese couple came through my line, and I asked them (in english) all of the questio

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Text - Anyway, I started ringing up their stuff, and the wife said to her husband "Tell her not to bruise the bananas" in Chinese, and i didn't say anything. The wife said "tell the stupid girl to go faster" in mandarin. I smiled at her and pretended like I had no idea what she was saying. She kept commenting on how my hair was like a boys (I have short hair, its honestly not even that short) and how her grandfather would have gone faster than I was going, all of this in chinese. and then, she s

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Text - And i watched with enjoyment as a look of sheer terror spread across her face, as she realized I understood everything she had said before. She just stood there with her mouth open and her husband said (in chinese) "This is why you shouldn't trash talk employees while their standing right in front of you" And i replied (in english) “He's right" They paid, the husband apologized, and left. After they walked out the door my manager and co worker and I were laughing so hard, even though bein

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Tagged: customer service , FAIL , tumblr , mandarin , rude , chinese

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Spelling Fails that Made Words the Enemy

You don't need to be good at spelling to get around the world. But when it comes to expressing yourself online or in a group chat, or through a sign, one small spelling fail can make a big difference in meaning. We see a lot of spelling fails that make us question public schools.

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Dog - the last thing you ate is what you have to name him REunny.co 946 4.6K Comments • 120 Shares Like לT Comment Share Chimney changa

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Vehicle - RAT SHIT STRAPS 00 EACH OR 2 FOR f10.0.

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Property - WHERES,ThE JOBS Obana Liar LIBETYOR TRANNY?

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Text - VAIN LNIR JOLLY PUMPKIN IS TEMPORALLY CLOSED 43 0000000O000000OG0€ 4:3 4:3) 4300000609999O39939

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Product - Xfinity Mobile ? 6:12 PM 98% 2 Trampling $100 Listed about a day ago in Wheeling, WV O Send seller a message Is this still available? Send

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Gluten - Bakery hygiene Cevp Lowed By th Parigar Celad tet FEACH Please use the tongs provided for picking up loose itoms: 75p PLEASE USE TONGUES TO PICK PAS TRIES Thx

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Font - 8 33% D 10:30 pm amaysim Blue RØDE Related All Microphones i year ago hi guys, ive been condom plating 1 reply 4 years ago bluebird has clearer sound in my opinion 目4 32 4 replies ... ...

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Text - Instant Pot 101 for Beginners Yesterday at 4:02 PM · How do you cook porch chops in the instant pot and what seasoning do you use? b 99 132 Comments O Like

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Text - hr Aye do them roast history chickens at walmart be good??? Put me on 00 You and 15 others 9 Com ents Wow Send Them what roast history chickens the ones that be in the deli9

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Text - I had ammonia when I was a kid and it didn't never felt this bad 1 Comment

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Drink - FFEINE FREE REGULAR Dr per SWEAT TEA ESL1885 0T BEER BRISK

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Text - beef boo-yah, like you put in sauces and soups and shit 4 d Like Reply Hahahaha bouillon?? 3 d Like Reply that's not a word. 01 3 d Like Reply Oh dear. 3 d Like Reply R/boneappletea Just now Like Reply

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Text - * * Verified Purchase Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 February 2020 Rip-off Well this product was opened it has been nothing but a night mayor its not ripping the gadget that spinning it my son is so mad and upset yeah would like to arrange to get our money back it's a rip-off Unless you've got a better suggestion Helpful Report

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Clothing - 5:57 1 One mans junk ... 1 hr · Sexy launder ray Message $4 D Meet in dalton new never worn 2 $ or 4 both O Like Comment Share Interested! Is this still available? Do you have m Write a comment... GIF)

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Cookware and bakeware - Cattle 1 of 2 Cattle Now Free $20

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Text - What do you genuinely not understand? Discussion 3.9k 3.4k 1 Share Award NEW COMMENTS - Not to be disgusting, but I seriously don't understand Foot Fetuses. How does that shit work? Reply Vote

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Text - Tweet as Say it with me VACUUMS DONT CAUSE AUTISM. 9:54 · 18 Apr 20 · Twitter for Android 2 Retweets 10 Likes

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Snapshot - 95 2.6 TRA CARBS CALS SUPERIOR LIGHT BEER VISA é Pay Clathes Gr with We 1.0. RESO ITY PULL WARNING Premises Under 24 Hour Video Surveillance ULTRA ULTRA

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Text - 9 mins · Got an offender bender. Need the best body shop for my Ford Focus. Suggestions? 4 Comments O Like Comment

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Text - 5:54 * NI 8% 2 Looks like home school rest of the year,l'm bringing curse of writing back then,1 hour of penmanship. 75 Like Comment 71

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Text - 3h I got that cluster phobia feeling from this. Makes me grind my teeth Reply + 2 + 5225C • Now Claustrophobia?

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Text - l AT&T ? A:13 DMA 30% Duly noted, had to at least shoot my last shot! 11:11 Dually* u sick fu loser 11:13 > A Nah 11:15 all AT&T LTE 11:14 PM QI 73% Qa duly noted Duly noted means DULY NOTED? DUALLY NOTED? properly recorded or acknowledged. However, if used sarcastically, it can also mean the opposite. © Grammarly blog duly-noted What Does "Duly Noted" Mean?| Grammarly Blog Spelling O About this result I Feedback PEOPLE ALSO ASK Is duly noted formal? Text Message 2 ே தவ

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Tagged: FAIL , words , lol , misspelling , ridiculous , dumb , spelling , funny , stupid

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