FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 05/02/20

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Times Large Trucks Were Absolute Failures

Seriously, just how? Hopefully everyone in these various positions of fail ended up being alright. Imagine explaining some of these to the boss:
"Yeah, it was just like that when I returned from lunch."

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Transport - EXIT 53 Airline Dr NO EXIT 54 TRUCKS Tidwell Rd 4 MILE LEFT LANE EXIT ONLY

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Transport - IADMA 15183 O China Foto Press/Barcroft Medi 80 08

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Tagged: automobile , FAIL , vehicle , ridiculous , truck , dangerous

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Pettiest Revenges The World's Seen

Petty revenges are something else. We get to see just how far people's resistance toward letting something go, can take them in the way of enacting a devastating petty revenge. Sometimes, people just obsess, and through that obsession a desire to hatch the perfect petty revenge is born. You might say that these folks are masters of the petty revenge. They certainly weren't playing games. Maybe revenge is best enjoyed through pure pettiness. Who knows?

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + JOIN u/grapeicecreamfloat • 53d 1 3 6 Faked proof that I had a flat tire so that the lazy people in my group project would have to do the presentation themselves therefore likely will fail I'm in a class where a group research project/ presentation is a huge chunk of overall points. Everyone knows in group projects you always have that one slacker who doesn't do anything that you have to compensate for. However, I got stuck with possibly the worst 3 people to be in a proj

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Text - I did the entire research, presentation, poster boards, etc among many other annoying things myself. I tried talking to them and telling them they needed to put in their share of effort. Ignored. l'd send them tasks to do, ignored. I'd try to schedule meetings, they'd say they were coming and then leave me alone at the library. This happened from the get go. It was abundantly clear that they expected everyone else to do the work, but "everyone else" turned out to be just me. Rule: we coul

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Text - At this point I'm livid and decide they can just do it themselves, which means they'd get up there, not know a damn thing to say other than the small info I gave them, and couldn't even bullshit anything because they did no research. Thing is, if we miss without an excuse, we fail the project. If you have an excuse, you have to have documentation. I commute and live an hour away, so I decide that l'll conveniently have a flat tire right before class. Went out and actually bought a tire so

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Text - ***edited to say: the professor stated at the beginning that we were not allowed to contact him about people slacking in the group, and said to work it out amongst ourselves. Said that we were adults and that he wouldn't even respond to emails about it.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + JOIN u/notanotherdonut • 2y Take my parking spot that i just dug out? Fine, I'll bury your car This happened a couple years ago. It had snowed a bunch and so I went out to clear a spot for my boyfriend at the time for when he got home from work (police officer). I spent a while digging it out, and as I was finishing up some girl drove up and parked in it (while I was still shoveling it!). I told her that I just dug it out intending to use it and asked her to move, and she

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Text - Our complex had a mini snow plow and the dude was plowing in the area and saw this all go down. He helped me move all the snow from the pile he just created and put it all around her car. We buried it up to the door handles on all sides. He then dug out a new spot for me. Saw her later trying to dig out her car, turns out she didn't have a shovel. So, naturally, bc l'm petty I went out and reshovelled the sidewalk from the lot up to our building, and threw all of the snow on her vehicle w

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Text - Edit 2: thanks for the gold! Edit 3: answers to questions for clarification. only mentioned bf was a cop to justify why he was at work during all the snow, which was why I was digging him out a spot. Also, the spot was between two other cars so she couldn't even walk along the side of her car to get to the door, which also meant that it didn't take much snow to bury her car in.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge JOIN u/turtlesh0es • 2y Don't want to wait your turn? Now you wait ten minutes. On mobile, forgive my textwall. This happened to me last night. I got in my car to pick up my girlfriend and my tire pressure light came on. T have a 12v air compressor in my backseat but it's loud and fills sort of slowly, so I opted to drive to the local wawa. (For those who don't have Wawa, it's like if 7/11 got sober and went to college.) Wawa's air pumps are free to use which usually means

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Text - his tires too. I say "of course" and motion for him to park in the empty spot to Lexuslady's left. As soon as he pulls in she notices what's happening and starts yelling. I flip on my air compressor and begin filling my tire, her cries drowned out by the sound of 250psi of justice. She comes and stands in front of me, face beet red and little flecks of spittle popping out from between her cigarette teeth as she calls me all sorts of names. I calmly say "Ma'am, I only have one tire to fill

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Text - tldr lady takes my spot at the air pump, I block her in and fill my tire and the gentleman behind me with my own very slow, very loud compressor.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge u/10S_NE1 • 2y + JOIN Calling her "fake quitting" bluff This happened years ago but still makes me smile. I started working in a corporate office in a secretarial position for my first job after college. There were two older ladies who were also secretaries working in the office. One of them was just fine, but I spent most of my time sitting beside and working with Agnes. Agnes was quickly approaching retirement age but wasn't going anywhere without a big push. This was in

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Text - She tended to pout when when things didn't go her way, and she would "quit" her job when someone pissed her off, and then my boss's boss would talk her into staying. I'd heard about this tactic of hers and one day, our boss did something that annoyed her and she "quit" again. My boss's boss was away that day so I had my chance. I quickly advertised and planned a big retirement party for her. It was a done deal by the end of the day. People were dropping by and congratulating her and every

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + JOIN u/cookiemonster1997 • 2y Shitty server demands a better tip A couple months back, my boyfriend and I went out for drinks one night at this cool little "speakeasy" in Montreal. It's actually quite an interesting place. You come in through a nondescript entrance and the place has a really nice vibe going on once you get inside. Note: this is one of those bars where the server comes to your table and serves the drinks rather than one where you order at the bar and take

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Text - Then, when it came time for the bill, I went up again so he would come to our table. He came and thought we were going to order again despite me clearly asking for the bill when I went up. So, he went back to get the card machine and it was another ten minutes before he was back. At this point, I was quite ticked off at the not- so-great service and was debating whether or not I should tip him. The screen had an option for 10%, 15%, 20% or "other." | decided to just leave 10% as I wanted

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Text - Now, he prints out the receipt and takes a look at it and sees I left 10%. He then asks if we had a nice evening, to which my boyfriend responded that we did; we both thought it was just a standard question servers ask so we didn't bother telling him about the poor service received-especially because it wouldn't really make a difference at this point. The guy then says, "oh, well if you had such a nice time, than you should've left at least a 15% tip. Because, in Canada, it's customary to

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Text - r/pettyrevenge u/[deleted] • 2y JOIN Unlucky Steam key scammer calls electronics, gets the dumbest employee in the world When I worked at Walmart, I went from cart pusher- >cashier->electronics->security. Sometimes after I switched to security, when electronics was really swamped, l'd help out for a few minutes. One day, the phone was ringing and I was walking by and randomly answered it. Sir Scamalot: "Hello, sir, this is Steam Support services with Valve." Instantly, of course, I know t

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Text - Sir Scamalot: "We've had reports that game keys shipped to your location may have an error that prevents it from authenticating, specifically the game Counter Strike. We need to validate your game keys to see if your affected." [I forget which CS was on sale then, this was 2008]. Me: "Oh, what do I do?" As if I didn't know. Sir Scamalot: "Well I just need you to open any copies of the game you have and read me the CD key on the instruction manual so I can verify them with our validation s

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Text - Sir Scamalot: [obviously happy] "Sure!" So I put Sir Scamalot on hold while I called all the other area stores electronics department and warned them about the scammer and confirmed nobody had taken a call like this earlier. About 15 minutes later, I get back to Scamalot. Me: "Thanks for holding, but I can't find any CD keys. I looked all through the book and the packages." Sir Scamalot: [annoyed] "Well sir, just open any copy of Counter Strike and on the-" Me: "Oh, COUNTER STRIKE! I thou

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Text - Everyone in the department is listening and we all laugh. 10 minutes later, I'm back on the line. Me: "Ok, I got what you're looking for! What do you need?" Now I make him walk me through how to open the box, including interrogating him for 5 minutes about how to do it without breaking the seal, then pretend I can't find the book, etc etc. Finally, I'm ready to read the code! First, I read him the UPC. This upsets him. Then I read him a part number from something. Now he's livid. Finally,

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Text - Me: "No, its. F, U, C, then K like kite. Next four is Y like yesterday. O like owl-" And he swore at me and hung up. EDIT: Spelling, also, thanks for gold!

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + JOIN u/neontonsil • 2y I absolutely LOVE people who pay with pennies! Seriously. 4 years ago, I'm cashiering at a whacky mart on a register that holds all the smokes and alcohol. It's 10pm and these two young men (early 20s) come up to the counter. They have three random novelty items (I don't remember they were), but it was strange and unusual to get odd items this late at night. Maybe it was for some fraternity, I don't know. It's a college town so I get weird stuff fro

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Text - Grinning at each other, they reach into their jackets and slam down two gallon zip-lock bags, full of only pennies. I stare them in the eye, but they didn't even look back at me. Everyone else in line groan and went to other registers. These two kids knew what they were doing, but they didn't know what they were in for because I prepared for this; I knew this was going to inevitably happen. I grinned with them, because I was gonna get paid during this. These pranksters are here for recrea

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Text - Me: Is this $22.xx? Ringleader: ... Me: Did you count it? Ringleader: Nope. Me: Are you going to? Ringleader: Nope. Me: Is it at least $22.xx? >>

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Text - Ringleader: Don't know. Me: Nice. Coworker: Hey! You guys can use the self checkout. It can take all of your coins at once. Me: Oh, don't worry about it Cowor-- Ringleader: Nope, don't trust them lady. (Partner laughs) Coworker: What? Why!? Ringleader: Doesn't count all your change right. Coworker: I've used them before. It really works! Me: (to Coworker) I got this.

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Text - I unpacked the ziplocks and threw all the pennies on the counter. It was a beautiful, massive shitstorm of a mess. And I digged in it. I was Frank in a dumpster in 'It's Always Sunny'. The two, still averting my gaze, start chuckling as if they were taking away my dignity. They whisper to each other "Dude oh my God," "Dude yeah," "Dude, hilarious." I counted each penny, one by one. My coworker comes up to me. Coworker: Guess l'll help you count this. Me: Don't worry about it. (She looks a

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Text - We worked up a system where we counted ten, put them in a pile, then with ten stacks of ten pennies we separated them, making $1 piles. We made progress slowly but surely. Some customers came to the line, but we advised them to get to another line. Some of them looked at us confused, but when they saw the counter full of pennies they understood. Some decided to wait, but when they realized it wasn't going to take just a few minutes they took their leave. Another register in the liquor dep

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Text - Coworker: Neontonsil! Me: Oops. Sorry. (Coworker looks at my grin. I give her a wink and tilt my head, motioning her to leave) Coworker: You know what, I think I better let you do this. Me: Ha, alright. (Coworker leaves. I look at the two guys. They are absolutely stunned at the fallen piles of pennies.)

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Text - Me: (To Ringleader) Yeah, l'm going to have to count all of this again. Ringleader: ...Ok. I started from zero. I count slower then ever, and made my way back up. The duo is entirely silent. I get to about $7, when suddenly I say: Me: Drats. I lost count. I better start all over again. Ringleader: Really? Me: Oh yeah man. Ringleader: Why!? Me: I lost count, sir. I could be in trouble if my

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Text - register doesn't have the right amount of cash, and I don't want to rip you off. Ringleader: ... It's about an hour later. My manager walks past, looks at me. I smile at him, and he looks at the counter. He walks away without a word. I eventually count all the change and surprisingly they had only $18! Me: Hmm, I think that this is $18. (The duo has been dead silent. They look done for the night.) Me: l'll recount it.

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Text - I fucking recounted it. Me: I think this is actually $19.xx. (Without a word, the Ringleader whips out a $5) Me: Seriously? You had cash? Ringleader: Needed to get rid of my change. Me. No problem. I'll just recount this again. I want to make perfectly sure that this is $19, since I counted $18 the first time. Ringleader: Are you kidding me? (I shake my head no, completely serious)

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Text - He takes out a $20 bill straight out of his pocket and throws it at me. My coworker gives the biggest WHAT THE FUCK face. Internally, I die as well, because they were smart enough to have a backup plan. And the fact that he was touching his cash in his pocket the entire time kinda messed with me. I take the cash, do the transaction, give him his change, thanked him and wished him a good night. The two start to put their pennies back in the ziplock bags and I didn't help the at all. I watc

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Text - Lots of pennies dropped to the floor, but they didn't care to pick them up. It looked like their souls were sucked out of them. It was past midnight and I clocked out way past when I was supposed to. A lot of my coworkers gave me a thumbs up or told me good night. Even my manager told me 'good job,' the only two words he ever said to me. Went to bed at the dorms after such a great petty penny night and crashed. Strange to say, but l'd love to count pennies again. TL;DR I recounted 1900 pe

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + JOIN u/Past_life_God • 1y Girl does zero percent of the work on a huge project and gets zero percent of the credit! This story takes place my 3rd year of college. I was taking a class where the entire grade was determined by a semester long final project. We were supposed to be in groups of three on the project, but the third guy in our group had more sense than me and bailed early. This left just me and Lazy Girl hereafter known as LG. LG didn't do anything the entire se

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Text - Now I didn't want any confrontation with this girl, as she was my friend at the time, but I finally lost it one night towards the end of the semester. I'd asked her to meet at my house to work on the project, but 'something important came up. Fed up with this one sided partnership, I decided to air my woes at the local bars. And guess who I run into? and LG and her boyfriend drinking! She made up some bullshit excuse and I made a plan. I powered through the entire assignment, except for t

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Text - So here's a little tidbit about our final projects, we each had to turn one in. LG here not only didn't do the conclusion, she didn't turn in a project at all! She tried calling and bitching at me for not 'giving her credit' to which I went off on her for not doing shit on the entire project. I mentioned how I even gave her the opportunity to turn in my work for a grade if she'd only do ONE thing! She hung up after that, and that was the last time we spoke. TLDR: Girl spends the entire se

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Tagged: justice , satisfying , FAIL , revenge , petty , ridiculous , Reddit , karma

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Drunk Pig Rolls Down Hill

This pig got into some fermented corn and ended up getting wasted. In an attempt to right the pig, she accidentally rolled down yonder hill.

Submitted by: (via Lanette Sydnor)

Tagged: drunk , rolling , pig , lol , funny , Video , animals

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Chef Reuses Customers' Unfinished Soups, Loses Restaurant

Seriously, this son sounds like he was a real piece of work. Dude takes over his family's restaurant, has the opportunity to carry on an honored legacy, and proceeds to spit right in its face. Reusing people's unfinished soups and serving them back to other folks because he "believed" that the heat in the soup burned the germs off, is next level delusional. Sounds like the guy getting reported and shut down was for the best. All in all, a delicious pro revenge, and even with the original recipe thrown in at the end. Love it.

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/ThomasofHookton • 2y + JOIN Re-use unfinished soups for the next customer? Loose your restaurant. Edit 1: Sorry about the title. I can't change it now but hopefully it doesn't you put you off the story. Edit 2: I've had many users asking me for the recipe. After having a long think about it, I'm confident that my old boss would be happy to share the recipe with others to enjoy. I'll add it as a separate comment to this thread.

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Text - This revenge story happened in the 90s when I was working after school as a line cook / chef's assistant at a Chinese restaurant. The place specialized in noodle soups, with the main attraction being our soup stock. The owner used a much revered passed down family recipe. It consisted of freshly cracked pork bones, fresh spices and fresh vegetables all kept at a rolling boil for over 12 hours. It had to be started the night before and the owner was very particular about the soup stock. If

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Text - The owner himself was this really awesome, old Chinese gentleman. He had some incredible stories. For example, he enlisted into the Kuo Ming Tang (Chinese republic) Army in the 40s and worked as a chef for KMT officers during WWII. He told us about how one time his Division's HQ was over run, and he had to escape on a push bike ahead of the advancing Japanese Army. Eventually, when the Chinese Communist Party took over in the 50s, he was assigned to a steel factory to work for the rest of

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Text - His son on the other hand was a real piece of shit. This guy dropped out of college (his parents saved up for him to study medicine) after 2 years. He floated in and out of jobs but mostly stayed unemployed, living with his parents and using their money to well into his mid-30s. He eventually started working at the restaurant, nominally as the front of house manager but in reality, did nothing but watch TV and take naps.

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Text - While I was only a line cook, the old man and I got along really well. He trusted would routinely get me to make the soup stock the night before under his supervision. Sadly, the old man died after my 5th year working there. That's when the son took over (the mother had passed years ago). The son had zero cooking experience but decided to take over as the chef. He didn't like the idea of putting the soup on overnight (waste of gas) and instead got me to do the prep the night before and th

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Text - Not surprisingly customers started leaving as the food quality degraded. This caused the son to panic and cut even more costs. He fired most of the old staff and thus overworked the remaining. He couldn't fire me because I was the only one left who knew how to do the soup. He also stopped using quality ingredients and started to buy cheap pre-packaged staff in order to reduce my prep work hours. After a few months of this I got sick of his crap. As I was about to start college myself I to

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Text - As a parting gift, I sent an email to our local Food Safety board, informing them of the poor sanitary practice of reusing left over soups. I helpfully also enclosed a few photos that I had sneakily taken of the practice. The board sent inspectors the very next day and closed the restaurant (there were other issues such as unhygienic bathrooms, uncleaned eating utensils), he was issuied a massive fine and a list of undertakings to carry out before it could be reopened. The restaurant rema

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Text - ThomasofHookton · 2y 3 Awards Here it is folks! I've had to modify this recipe as we used to make in a freaken humongous pot. This makes about 1.5 gallons of bone broth so please modify to your requirements. Hao SiFu's pork bone broth

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Text - Ingredients: 4-5 pounds of pork leg bones and knuckles 1 pound of chicken bones (neck or wings work best) 2 large onions - chopped in half • 6 cloves of garlic – lightly crushed 1/2 Chinese white radish – chopped roughly (replace with carrots if unavailable in your area) • 1 thumb piece of ginger Handful of dried shitake mushroom (pre-soaked) Handful of conpoy (dried scallop) 1 tbsn of crushed black pepper Several dashes of Chinese rice wine

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Text - Method: 1. Boil the bones in a separate pot for at least 10 minutes. Remove from water and rinse carefully under tap water. 2. Crack the leg bones along the middle (we used a giant cleaver) Place washed and cracked bones in clean pot with cold water and bring to boil. 3. Add all other ingredients. 4. Gently boil Simmer with lid slightly ajar for at least 8 hours (the longer the better) stirring occasionally. It will smell terrible for the first 2 hours for some reason - this is normal. I'

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Text - This broth is served with fresh noodles with vegetables and protein of your choice. Ensure you season with soy sauce or salt before serving. For example, I like it served with roast pork, bok choy and mushrooms with egg noodles.

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Tagged: entitlement , gross , revenge , restaurant , chef , ridiculous , food , Reddit

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Man Eats Popcorn While Watching Lovers' Quarrel Outside

If this couple didn't want someone else to see their domestic dispute, and dramatic antics, then maybe, just maybe, they should've kept the whole "show" inside. But no, instead they aired out that dirty laundry, and the dude decided to spectate while eating a bag of popcorn. I mean, that's what every entertaining show calls for.

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Tagged: neighbors , ridiculous , tifu , reaction , Reddit , funny , dramatic

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Beggar Writes One Star Review On Yelp, Store Owner Responds

Now that is how you handle a whiny, choosing beggar who didn't get what they wanted. After this choosing beggar was shut down for being an unreasonable fool, they proceeded to try and diminish the reputation of the store. Well, that backfired. They only ended up looking more ridiculous in the end.

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Text - I asked a representative for a $9 discount on a screen and this was the reply I got: "Your offer is a joke, and a good part of our reputation is responding to that kind of silliness in kind. You want us to sell this part for less than our wholesale cost - that is ridiculous, I would say on par with the ridiculousness of your question" ..Unprofessional and unwarranted harassment...

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Text - Comment by PRepair Group: I define unwarranted harassment as repeatedly asking for a $9 discount on a part that is being sold with a $0.86 profit margin. Then, going on to explain how your offer is "reasonable", and how we are being "rookies" by not considering your below cost offer. This is like going to a bodega and asking for a pack of cigarettes for $2.50, over and over, then acting surprised when the bodega owner asks you to leave. Asking for the pack of cigarettes for $2.50 takes ba

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Text - responding to that kind of silliness in kind. You want us to sell this part for less than our wholesale cost - that is ridiculous, I would say on par with the ridiculousness of your question" | stand behind those words. We go out of our way to help people, and routinely do so at below market pricing because we love what we do. This allows me to retain a clean conscience telling degenerates like themselves when the opportunity arises. It's the beauty of being the boss - you can cut nonsens

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Tagged: reviews , FAIL , response , ridiculous , yelp , choosing beggar

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Man Cheats On Wife, Wife Exploits His Clown Phobia

Cheaters have a knack for getting it in the end. When this cheater was found out, his wife proceeded to exploit his clown phobia. Oh boy, was it super effective. Clown pictures all over the house, and a glorious farewell note. Can't craft much of a better pro revenge than that.

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Text - r/ProRevenge + JOIN u/we_all_float_derry • 3y 1 Cheating while we're engaged? I'll exploit your phobias. A while back, I was engaged to a guy who seemed like a good choice. Attractive, funny, good job, owned a home. I learned he had a bit of a downside, though: He was a cheating slimeball motherfucker. Not just a one-time one-night-stand with after too much to drink, which I would have still been angry about but could have probably gotten over, but repeatedly with more than one woman.

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Text - I picked up on a few cues, but eventually had things confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt. I was venting to my brother about this, and told him about how I planned to move out while The Assbutt was out on a week-long business trip. He volunteered to help me before I asked, and then got this amazing devious grin on his face. "We can also leave a memento for him" he said. When I asked what he meant, he said "Pennywise and his friends."

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Text - You see, the dick-dipper was scared of clowns. Not just a little uncomfortable, but fucking terrified of them. Even as a grown man a clown on a TV show, web comic, or book would freak him out and he'd have to change the channel or click away. My brother owns a print shop and is protective of his little sister. So in the couple of weeks leading up to Assbutt's trip, he printed off a dozens pictures of clowns in various sizes. Ranging from really small wallet sized ones to big poster sized

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Text - We took down every single framed picture and put up framed clown pictures. The clowns ranged from average clown to nightmare-fuel hellspawn. Pictures on the walls, art prints, photographs in frames on tables. You name it, it was replaced with a clown picture. Where we became really devious was taking the laminated ones and placing them in things like the silverware drawer, the underside of the toilet lid (so when he went to take a piss he'd be greeted with this when he lifted the seat), i

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Text - While we were setting this up, I went a step further and changed the wallpaper on his desktop computer to a clown. I also took about 10 of his favorite movies that he had on DVD and replaced them with ome-burned DVDS that had clown footage. They autoplayed, and we'd printed up labels that looked like the original DVD artwork. We put all of his original artwork and DVDS in the basement, off the ground and protected from damage. But surrounded by giant clown posters of Pennywise and the lik

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Text - I left a note on the kitchen table that said "I know about [names]. Fuck you. I'm out." After a few days of hard work of moving me out and moving a few clown cars worth of terror in, my brother his wife and I celebrated by grilling some steaks and having a few beers. These were paid for by the engagement ring I sold. Once the dumbass returned, I got a text message or two that was along the lines of "You bitch!". It must have taken him days to take care of the photos out in the open alone.

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Tagged: clowns , marriage , satisfying , revenge , ridiculous , Reddit

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Inedible but Delicious Looking Objects

Why do they make earplugs look so goddamn tasty looking? Here are things that look like food but would either taste bad, be impossible to chew, break your teeth, or bite you back. Too much stuff in this world looks like food but isn't. Here are the bugs, wood shavings and rocks that look tasty in all their forbidden bounty.