FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 11/30/20

Monday, November 30, 2020

Swimming Bat is Like a Graceful Trash Bag

Apparently the ability to fly wasn't good enough for bats. They just had to go and take swimming too. The one consolation here is that even though they can swim, they don't seem all that good at it. It's just a slow, floating "W".

Submitted by: (via Aditya Mitra)

Tagged: nature , wtf , bats , swimming , lol , weird , Video

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Saint Nick In Holland Scares Kid Straight

Well, this is just a little bit uncomfortable. Poor kid saw his life flash before his eyes when grumpy Saint Nick called him out for not eating his vegetables. Maybe taking that whole shtick a bit too far there.

Submitted by: (via kibidangoDAIsuki)

Tagged: christmas , cringe , parenting , ridiculous , santa claus , Video , holidays

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Internship Program's Roll Call Is Way Too Hyped

Imagine taking a seat in this room on your first day, and then realizing that the Shabooya roll call is a thing, and it's happening right in front of you. If you're like me, you're looking for that Exit sign and dipping ship ASAP.

Submitted by: (via Stay Informed World)

Tagged: FAIL , cringe , Awkward , ridiculous , company , Video

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Employee Gets Fired, Makes Company Lose Over $100K

It's the quiet ones that you've got to worry about. Clearly this company owner needed to learn a lesson about how to treat their employees with the respect they deserve. Fortunately, this employee was up for the challenge of providing that reality check to the tune of around $100K. Ouch. Check out another juicy pro revenge tale with this auction winner who wouldn't pay up, and then learned their lesson.

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/hoodlvm • 1d + Join 5 4 S 3 I was fired and made the company lose over £100k So l used to work at a family run builders merchants and was a trade sales advisor. I was fired for bringing up health and safety concerns in an email sent to a manager and for the fact I was apparently "unhappy in my role". I did nothing wrong but they still sacked me. Now when I worked there I had clients that I had built good relationships with and even become friends with some of them. They wou

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Text - Anyway back to the revenge I was fired which in my opinion was unfair and it was during this covid 19 pandemic I had worked the entire way through it until I was fired. So I wanted revenge I contacted multiple clients/friends and most of them say okay we won't use that company if they treat the staff the way they did to me. One client easily spends over £100k a year easily in the top 3 customers they had. He used them because I would get him the best prices etc etc. As soon as l'm fired I

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Text - Health and safety executives did visit and told them to put a few things right but nothing else, I did have video and photo evidence of one accident actually happening and many other issues. I don't have a copy of the email but ACAS can find it on their internal mail system as it never truly disappears. Also all any clients I contacted were friends I didn't contact a huge list of clients just a handful letting them know I no longer worked for the company they ask why I got fired and I gav

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Tagged: employee , revenge , Reddit , company

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Employee Points Out Security Concern, Nobody Listens, Robbery Ensues

Sometimes, the only way that you can get through to people that seem committed to not listening to your warnings is to take matters into your own hands, and show them why they should've listened. This particular move was certainly a bold one, and we can't say we'd advise anyone to follow suit. But at least the point was proved, and the security measures in the museum were brought up to the level they needed to be at. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this wild thread where Tumblr users go all in on "The Incredibles" analysis.

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Text - So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. flamefriendsshipped If this gets notes l'll tell the full story fandomlovingweirdo Storu

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Text - flamefriendsshipped Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars. The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass.

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Text - My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn't taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands. She bought a ticket and pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit. Literally no one even questioned her.

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Text - She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss's office. She dropped the folder on his desk and said "I just stole these in 15 minutes" Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security. Source: flamefriendsshipped

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Tagged: boss , employee , satisfying , tumblr , ridiculous , win , museum , funny tumblr

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Tumblr Tales that Make Everything Gothic

Every place has its own flavor of repetitive creepiness, from Poland to the Pacific Northwest. There are many flavors of gothic, including a more comprehensive tumblr thread that goes full American Gothic. No matter where you are or what your situation might be, there is potential for a creepy retelling of it.

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Text - A themmfatale 2020 gothic you join a zoom call. everyone's mic is muted, but no one is talking anyway. you stare at the squares with faces in them. which is your face? you can't be sure. - the news is full of numbers. you try to learn what they mean, but the articles are full of jargon from fields you have no experience in, and you swear the numbers change when you blink. - you wake up. you sleep. you wake up. you sleep. how many days was that? you have no idea. - you go for a walk. a sha

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Text - theveryhornycaterpillar Retail Gothic • A customer pleads to be let in after closing time. They only need one item. They only ever need one Item. • A customer is looking for an item. You do not sell the item. You have never sold the item. You do not know what the item is. • An item does not scan. "It must be free" the customer jokes. You look at them, their mouth hangs open as they laugh. They have too many teeth. • You ask your colleague how their day is going. They look back at you thei

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Text - cliffsandcastles Downtown Atlanta Gothic When you irritably pull your curtains tightly closed at night, remember there is reason the lights are always on. • Don't take your trash out after the sun sets. There will be a girl waiting for you by the dumpster in bloody clothes. She was murdered twelve years ago, but you don't have the heart to tell her. • When you walk past a sewer grate or drain, make sure to keep at least two feet away. The abandoned children's arms are too short to reach y

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Text - minnesota gothic it is snowing. it has alvays been snowing. • a small colony of sheds has popped up ovemight on the ice-covered lake. what are they doing out there?" you ask your mother. "waiting," she says. beneath the ice, fish glide half-frozen through a maze of glinting hooks. you are in the twin cities, everyone around you insists they are different, they are unmistakably different - they can always be told apart. on the bus, watching the buildings roll by, you are certain you know w

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Text - IOWA GOTHIC: - The moon will blink if you stare at it for too long. It doesn't like to be watched. That's it's job, not yours. - The locals will assure you that the screaming at night is only coyotes. Listen to them. Don't try to see for yourself. - Many argue that the summers are as bad as it gets. The sun smiles as it sears your skin. The bugs follow you, whispering in your ears. Pay attention to what they have to say, it's often times a warning. - The winters are worse. When the bugs a

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Text - dmaurier Follow Polish Gothic • You live in a block of flats. All your friends live in blocks of flats. You might as well have been living in the very same block of flats and never noticed it. • Your local grocery store is called Leviathan. The cashier bares her golden teeth at you. It takes you a while to realize it's a smile. Or is it? • Old men are drinking on a bench in the park. They've been there for a while. They've been there your whole life. They stare at you with hungry eyes as

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Text - North Georgia Gothic • The safest time of the year is autumn. All the tourists come to see the leaves along the winding mountain roads, and the shadows seek refuge deep under the ground. • The most dangerous time of the year is winter. The shadows are angry that they had to hide during autumn and you will pay for it. • At night you will hear screaming in your yard. Don't open the door, don't look out the window, don't even open your eyes. The next morning, in the snow, you'll find uneven

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Text - ohio gothic there is a church on every street comer for miles. they promise absolution and salvation. no one ever goes in, and no one ever comes out. you get in your car and drive. you will run across a town you have never seen before just as the dashboard clock ticks over to Too Late. the people there will look at you as if you are a freak of nature. you will keep driving. you will never see that town again. along the cracking highway are nothing but empty fields. a sign amidst dead gras

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Text - astrangethingmystifying Pacific Northwest Gothic - An old fisherman once told you, "When you wander these woods, it's like being lost in your own soul." Maybe that's why you feel dead eyes watching you from behind the trees. - Visitors complain that the sun rarely unveils itself from the clouds and mist, and you laugh quietly. The fools. They do not understand that there are certain things not meant to be seen by the light of day. - The morning fog slowly covers your campsite. When it dis

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Text - texas gothic mccoyquialisms: • every year, the bluebonnets appear, almost overnight. every year. thousands of people flock to them. it bothers you that no one really questions why. • "how can I help y'all?" the waitress asks, looking over your shoulder. you are the only one in the diner. • you've been driving towards el paso for hours, but you swear the scenery hasn't changed. out on the horizon, the turbines have stopped spinning. y'all come back now, y' hear? the sign on the highway say

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Text - devilrie australian gothic - we all refer to the prime minister by their first name. we know them well, and they know us. all of us. - there's a man on the street corner who never leaves. "just waiting for a mate," he says. you realise he is on every corner, of every street. - you are swooped by a magpie in the same place, at the same time, every single day. "it's swooping season!" says your neighbour. it has always been swooping season. - sometimes you hear a woman whispering late at nig

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Text - eatingcroutons - Someone offers you a meat pie. It burns your tongue. You have never asked what kind of meat is in a meat pie. - The Prime Minister walks into the ocean and is never seen again. They say he was a traitor, defecting to the enemy, whisked away by submarines. You build a swimming pool in his honour. - The grass is dead, or the grass is Long. You do not go into the grass when it is Long. - An old man judges you silently as you buy an avocado. You already knew you would never o

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Text - - Someone offers you a jam doughnut. It burns your tongue. - You check your calendar and your house number three times before you turn on the sprinklers. Your neighbour's face appears at their window. You wonder if you should check again. - It is time for the Maccas Run. Nobody knows what time it actually is, but you all sense it is right. The Designated stands up. - Whoever she is, whenever, wherever, whatever she is, she will always be right. fluffmugger - It's bin night. But which bin?

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Text - ileolai - There's a new prime minister, but it's the same prime minister. Now he's gone. There's a new prime minister. You change your smoke alarm battery. - You don't believe the stories about the creatures in the trees, but you take precautions. One day, you see an unwary traveller taking shelter from the blazing sun underneath a jacaranda. When you look back, he's gone. - The train is coming in five minutes. The train is coming in four minutes. The train is coming in five minutes. The

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Text - Puppy gothic Your siblings have transformed into great giants who walk on their hind legs. They have two extra jaws with no teeth but unlimited grip. One of your giants follows you in every room you explore, but they do not explore. They know everything about this house already. Your crate is your favorite spot, unless the door is closed. The door is never closed. Delicious treats can be found under most surfaces. Your giant steals them from you, he is powerful and greedy. You find anothe

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Text - NEW ENGLAND GOTHIC: Sleet falls everywhere and all the time. The ground is thick with grey slush. Twice your car almost slides out of control, but you do not exit the vehicle. You have no idea what's out there. You arrive at the hotel at around five. It's a massive building, more like a mansion than a skyscraper. It's painted dark grey to fit in with its surroundings and you spy shadows flitting back and forth behind the top windows. When you check in, the receptionist is serious and dark

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Text - APPALACHIAN GOTHIC The roads are barren and dusty, and though the mountains loom in the distance, it looks like it has not rained here for years. The grass is yellow-green and dry, and all the crops you pass look like their owners have given up on them. The fences are made of wire and wooden stumps, no doubt an effort to keep the starving foxes and stray dogs out of the livestock pens. There isn't much livestock left. The people in this town are kind, if reserved. You are greeted thrice b

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Tagged: scary , gothic , tumblr , creepy , lol , silly , dumb , stories , funny

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Tumblr User's Weird Debt Notice Is Scary Money Lesson

We've all gotten stupid scam calls about something being wrong with your bank account, and there are tons of scams people still fall for. This however, is something in between a lie and the truth. This person got a legit notice from someone who bought a small amount of forgotten debt and wanted them to basically reactivate it with some shadowy wording. Weird.

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Text - cherryseltzer i just got a super predatory debt collection letter. it was for a $113 debt from citizens bank, who i had an account with when i was 16 (20 years ago). the letter appeared to be an offer to cancel the debt if i paid them $22.75. HOWEVER, the actual wording is, "The amount of the debt is $113.77 and we will accept $22.75." so, no MENTION of canceling the debt, but the implication is there because many collectors of current debt offer to settle for a percentage.

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Text - at the bottom of the letter, it says: "Because of the age of your debt, we cannot sue you for it and we cannot report to any credit reporting agency. In many circumstances, you can renew the debt and start the time period for the filing of a lawsuit against you if you take specific actions such as making payments on the debt or making a written promise to pay."

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Text - basically. i don't owe this money anymore, the debt is so old they can't legally sue me for it OR put it on my credit report, BUT if i take their generous offer of paying them $22.75... they can sue me for the full amount because making a payment makes the debt current. no thanks, jefferson capital systems llc. feetlips always, always read the entire letter! it is so important because of semantic awfulness like this! Source: cherryseltzer

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Tagged: bank , lesson , tumblr , finance , strange , debt , life lessons , money

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Weird and Oblivious Old Album Covers

Who knew that one of the major pitfalls of making a faith album in the 60s, 70s, and 80s was that the language and art would age into being a creepy, un-self-aware album cover? It's stilted, awkward, and there is an uncomfortable amount of talk regarding "being touched by him." Maybe the hair doesn't help.

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Footwear - SOUNDS OF HIS COMING Che Cospelaires Trio

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Text - The Colporteur Twins 99 ON YOUR KNEES, SINNERS! Regous Musc Group Recorded live at the Reverend Hoopsty Camp Meeting. Gobbiers Crossing, AL

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Dance - A Complete Exercise Program Featuring Today's Finest Christian Music Frm Believer Featuring the music of Includes IMPERIALS AMY GRANT fully illustrated AL GREEN instruction BJ. THOMAS LEON PATILLO booklet DION MIGHTY CLOUDS OF JOY MORRIS CHAPMAN DENNY CORRELL

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Poster - STEREO Fingering And Praying Loretta Fudge For the Lord Waiminater

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Poster - DON'T MISS THE GREAT SNATCH TEDER MARSHALI TAYLOK

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Album cover - Skylite SLADE PIERCE SLP 6 COMETH WITH THE HOLY MILK MEN QUARTS DF LOVE

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Guitar - Yes... There's A Man In My Life Bobbi Wood

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Movie - Mercury keep it gay RECORDS CONVERSATIONAL MUSIC PIANO end ORGAN STYLINGS OF GREENE and ILES 124 HIGFIDELITY MESCURY 204a PIAN OSORGAN STYLINOS OF GREENE &LES KERA GAY

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Album cover - LET ME TOUCH HIM The Minaslers Quatel LPS MATIOLE STEREO

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Movie - FIDELITY COLUMBIAO STEREO SOUNDS $2.99 LAID BY THE LORD The Golden Eggs Led by His Mighty Staff To Him I am Beautiful Porridge & Prayers Morning Glory I felt Him Come Вискaroo The Old Brown Jug My Faith Warms Me God Bless my Pie DYNAMIC

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Text - SEX and the FEMALE AS PREACHED AT THE EAST END CRUSADE UNDER THE TENT BY EVANGELIST Jay Snell

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Album cover - SOUNDS OF LIFE The Unseen Нand 6ot 575 Sharla & Tommy McNeely

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Sky - Stuffed Crust Jesus (Keep Feeding My Faith) Bobby Vogel SUPER STEREO DRAMAT C EFFECT5-THRILLING REALISM-UNFORGETTABLE LISTENING

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Guitar - Don't Pity Me by CHRIS MISKELLY and BETTY BAKER

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Album cover - The Singing Stepps BORN TO DIE

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Music - Id Rather haveksus Venita Adele & Rodney

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Uniform - JESUS IS ALL JOU NEED Brigadiers STERFN

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Vintage advertisement - All my friends are dead Fieddie Gage Four t Drwnu o PPIT IN THE BHADOWS Aedy du yoim vieme of ugse BAINHE

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Tagged: wtf , creepy , strange , album cover , album , lol , funny , weird

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Man Repeatedly Bullies Insurance Company, Loses Everything

Anyone who has ever worked a customer service job will tell you that the gig is already hard enough without the Karens and other rude folks of the world going out of their way to make the day that much worse. This particular jerk sounds like he was going to keep being a toxic, belligerent hassle until someone served him up the reality check he needed. Oh boy, did everything come undone for this guy after that moment.

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/draconian1429 · 2d 3 2 3 O 5 3 2 1 NEVER bully your insurance company, or you lose your franchise Hello all. Excuse any poor grammar or spelling, I'm on mobile. TLDR at bottom This story comes from a friend of mine, Sarah, and has been building for almost 5 years until it all came crashing down over the last week. A few things to note before I get into it: Sarah works at an insurance company, dealing with a massive nationwide delivery company (her company insures all

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Text - • Over the years, Sarah had seen her fair share of anger from callers. Mostly justified, or people letting off steam at the anonymous voice on the other end of the phone. She's learned not to take it personal • She a absolutely despises the owner of one particular franchised depot - Dick Onto the story. We start in 2016. Dick is the franchisee of a vehicle depot for Delivery Company. Meaning he's sort of an owner, but the company CEO could take away his ownership if they feel like it. I'm

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Text - Dick calls in for the first time, to talk to Sarah about a claim one of his drivers is making. Something simple - reversed into a wall, minimal damage, but claiming to get the vehicle repaired. Dick starts ranting and screaming about how dare he/ his driver be expected to pay an excess (standard). Sarah has dealt with people like this all her career, so she just deals with it as she always does. And so it continues for 2 years, with Dick bullying and abusing any call handler when he calls

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Text - One of his drivers had been in a really bad accident. Nobody was seriously hurt, but the van was badly damaged. So while it was being repaired, Sarah organised for a hire van. Dick goes to the hire company to collect the van, and he's asked to make a £1 payment by debit/credit card to secure the vehicle. I'm pretty sure it's so the hire company can just charge it for any damage caused while on hire, and is an industry standard in my country. Dick doesn't like this. He argues with the hire

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Text - Everyone is working from home (yay, lockdown) and most people understand this. Everyone except Dick. He must be having a particularly bad day, because his tantrum about how useless Sarah and her company is descends into personal insults. Sarah, having an equally bad day, decides that now is the moment she will get revenge on this guy for everything he has put every claim handler through. So she requests a copy of the recording of the call (all calls recorded for safety, complaints and cal

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Text - 2. Dick's boss, simply stating that is behaviour is unacceptable, and the next time he tries to speak to someone at Insurance Company that way, they will end the call. 3. Every listed CEO or board member of Dick's company. She wanted all of them to know just how vile this man was. Then, today, she gets the call she's been waiting for. A representative of Delivery Company has called, wanting to apologise for everything Dick put her and her team through.

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Text - Sarah hasn't yet met the new franchisee, but if I know her, she'll make it clear that she's the one who ruined Dick's life, and she isn't afraid to do it again if the new guy doesn't treat her and her colleagues with respect. Lesson: don't be a dick to call centre employees. TLDR: Dick abuses call centre staff for 4 years, loses big job, nice car and wife. EDIT: First, thank you all for liking, and especially to those of you who have given rewards. Second, I want to emphasise for those wh

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Text - Third, for the person who pointed out the description of 'lowly delivery driver', I should have made this more clear. This is in no way demeaning the job these wonderful people do - it's how Dick always described the position when he called. 3.7k 3 133 1, Share

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Tagged: insurance , satisfying , revenge , awesome , ridiculous , Reddit

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Funny Times People Gave Statues New Meaning

Sure, we're supposed to respectfully acknowledge public art and statues of great minds and such. That said, if there's a statue of Lewis and Clark that looks even a little bit of a photo opportunity, you better believe people are gonna get up in there. For some images that turned one thing into something else, here are some double take inducing photos of skewed perspective.

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Tagged: statues , clever , photos , lol , Photo , ridiculous , silly , dumb , funny

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