Scorpion Escapes Tank, Panicked Hunt Ensues

The idea of having 25 tarantulas as pets in your home might send a pure and icy shot of chills down your spine, but for some folks, tarantulas are nothing short of adorable. On top of that, this particular pet owner also had a pet scorpion. As it turns out, that pet scorpion had a bit of a moment where it was able to break free from its living quarters, and apparently had ended up posting up right where its owner was going to lay her head for sleep. Just imagining a scorpion running across your face is enough to make the idea of sleep seem like a wildly unrealistic pursuit. Like, no thank you. 

Resplendent Tumblr Gems of Random Hilarity

Take an idea. Make it a stupid one. Now cast it into the collective subconscious of creative weirdos and let them pick it apart like a thousand hagfish boiling out of a month-dead whale's eye socket. Congrats, that's pretty close to hilarious and totally random tumblr gems one might find zooming around the interwebs. They'refunny, random, shiny and gem-like.

A Minivan-load of Dad-Tier Memes and Puns

Why do dads love puns? Because the other jokes they want to say are so disrespectful and abhorrently filthy that if they said them, no one would trust them with children. You make do with what you have. In the end, we have punny dad jokes that go father than ever before. So throw on those jeans, pile the kids into the car, drive to the soccer game and patiently sit through daderrific dad jokes that just nailed it.

Satisfying Moments Of Alignment For The World's Perfectionists

There's something about coming across a well placed object, or perfectly parked car that can make you stop in your tracks to exercise some appreciation over the aesthetically pleasing nature of the situation. The world's a messy place. More often than not, something's going wrong. So, when things just line up nice and perfectly, it feels pretty dang nice. 

Woman's Friend Secretly Sets Her Up For Blind Date, Woman Already Has Boyfriend

It's hard to believe that this person's even real in the first place. The disgusting lack of boundaries and respect from this woman's "friend" is enough to leave you questioning how they even ended up being friends in the first place. I mean, to have the audacity to set your friend up for a blind date when they already have a partner is pretty mind-blowing. Thus, it's no wonder that this woman didn't want to be her friend's bridesmaid anymore. Sounds like the bride is already well on her way toward being nothing short of a bridezilla. 

Pettiest Reasons People Were Rejected

Rejections always crush the soul just a little bit. There's something inevitable about the process of getting vulnerable and putting yourself out there that leaves you in a very fragile state. If someone decides to up and reject you to your face, the intense emotions can arise very quickly. These people outdid themselves when it comes to the petty reasons that they decided to reject folks. 

Blunders, Goofs, Mistakes, Failures and Chaos

Every part of life brings with it the potential for mistakes, failures, errors and blunders. Is it always our fault? Maybe some proactivity on our part could keep our toilets unexploded and our cars free of snow, but at the same time, the world is unpredictable. No amount of caution will completely save us from failure and stolen underwear, as evidenced by semi-frequent Misfortune Mondays.

Classmate "Saves" Goldfish By Releasing Them Into Ocean, Gets Reality Checked

Well, this is a pure and good old-fashioned fail right here, folks. Our hearts absolutely go out to the poor goldfish that were set "free" into the very body of water that they never wanted anything to do with in the first place. Was the classmate's heart in the right place? Sure. Sure, but that doesn't mean that what they ended up doing was nothing less than an absolute catastrophe. For some more drama from the aquatic realm, check out this story about a pet store employee who saved a starfish from being tortured by a Karen.

The Irreverant and Clever Hot Takes of Xavier

What began as the irreverant jokes and puns of Pakalu Papito has taken on a second life of its own. The original Pakalu Papito was a totally invented twitter account, and sort of morphed into this, another invented dude with the same profile picture. Xavier doesn't exactly exist as a physical person, but more as a spirit of commenting. A state of being, if you will. Transcendent. Here are some more clever comebacks and rare insults.

The Weirdest Colors Paint Store Employees Had To Match

Employees have to deal with a lot of ridiculous customer demands that make work frustrating, but sometimes people just want something really weird. Paint and hardware stores specifically will have people walking in nonstop with random objects whose color struck them as something they would want all over their walls for the foreseeable future. This extends to soap, dirt, melons and body parts.

Various Objects and Things That Had Faces

Every so often, inanimate objects have a whole lot of personality. What starts as a leaf or pile of bubbles can look like a really cool guy. Honestly there are some piles of rocks out there who seem like a great hang. Sometimes inanimate objects just look like other stuff. Deceptive little inanimate objects, trying to trick us. Go back to being things, stuff.

Guy Calls Tech Support Over Password Problem, The Fail Escalates

You've really got to hand it to the people in this world that are working tech support. They are regularly subjected to profound moments of mystifying stupidity from some of the world's most clueless human beings. It's a tech support tale like the one we have here that can really support the notion that some folks absolutely need instruction manuals for when it comes to how to navigate all the technology available at our disposal. For some more humor from the tech support world check out this story about the time that a customer genuinely believed that the internet runs on magic. 

Musician Puns So Bad That They Could End In Violins

Do people even like puns? The answer is a very complicated "it depends." The important thing to remember about puns and wordplay is that they can never be medium stupid. They have to be very stupid in order to be somewhat enjoyable. Luckily there are a whole lot of very stupid puns out there. Emotions happen upon the sight of Mr. Bean's face slapped over the Beastie Boys, with accompanying puns. Complex emotions. At least those emotions aren't as confusing as the ones that arise when looking at weird and awkward album covers.

Lunch Thief Gets Outed By Coworker's Pro Revenge

Man, the people in this world that are out there stealing other people's lunches are really swinging low. It sounds like this particular lunch thief wasn't going to stop with their antics until someone literally exposed them. And oh boy, did they get exposed. I would've loved to have seen the look on "Kyle's" face when he got caught. Also though, pretty uncool on the part of the company itself for not getting involved with the lunches being stolen until one of the higher up's had their own lunch jacked. For another pro revenge tale check out the time that a landlord refused to return a deposit, got taken to court, appealed it, and then lost everything.

Mean Old Neighbor Gets Her Rightful Comeuppance

Nothing can quite sink the spirits like realizing that you're living next to an absolute waking nightmare of a human being. Seriously, the whole business of neighbors is a risky game. You might've secured a wonderful home, but if you're also living next to an entitled and outright nasty piece of work, it can really put a damper on the whole situation. It sounds like this lady was going out of her way to give a perfectly well meaning family a hard time. Well, she certainly ended up getting her comeuppance when it was all said and done. 

After Effects Shows Off Vulture's Flight Pattern

Technology can end up accomplishing some pretty dang cool things. It'd be very neat to see this applied to other birds' flight patterns out there. Maybe mix in some lo-fi tunes, and you've created a whole vibe.