Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Kidtastic Moments Of Hilarious Proportions


Kids have a knack for keeping everyone in the room on their toes. You never know if something you say to a kid is going to be taken completely literally. Like that one parent, who said "see ya later alligator", and proceeded to get called a chicken by their kid. The kid was clearly just trying to play the game with their logic. We certainly laughed way too hard at these. 

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So this is why my kids has to hurry up and go back to school. I just brought these chocolate chip cookies and my son ate them all and had the audacity to place some cookie crisp cereal inside after he ate them. Smh! No snacksdotcom! COOSI8 N

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Food - Reese's Puffs SWEET &CRUNCHY CORN PUFFS MADE WITH REAL EESE'S PEANUT BUTTER PER COP Ava ??2 hy did you do this 7.. 1 LB 4.7 0Z (20.7 0Z) (586g)

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Text - Undecided Question Show me another » Dumbest rumor you've heard about yourself? neleigh. 1 week ago (Tiebreaker) P Report Abuse Sign in to Vote for the Best Answer Adtion Bar. 13 Interesting! Save- Email Answers (1- 30 of 51) Answerer 1 When I was in middle school people were saying that I was home schooled. Even though I went to school. 1 week ago P Report Abuse

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Text - When my son Seth was little, he would beg his brother to put him in this particular pillow case and swing him around. I know it's insane and the only reason I'm telling you now is because they are grown up and I can't lose custody of them

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Text - gemma @bloodpilots when i was 6 i named my animal crossing character "sex" and couldn't change it back so panicked, went outside the next day and smashed the game card with a hammer i have lived with this my whole life

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Text - Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters One time when I was like 11 my dad took me to an Italian restaurant and the waiter asked what my name was and I said "Sam but you can call me captain ravioli" and my dad just looked at me and said "what the fuck was that? don't do that" and I've been chasing that high ever since. <>

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Text - got-stars-in-your-eyes My husband and I are surprising our 6 year old by taking him to Disney for his b-day tomorrow. We've been in the car for 4+ hours and he still thinks we are on our way home from school. He keeps saying "looks like we're almost home!" Bless his heart. got-stars-in-your-eyes Update: we arrived to Disney World, he thinks we took a wrong turn and is very concerned about who is going to feed our cat.

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Product - I just want everyone to know that my two-year old insisted on being "pants" for Halloween...

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Face - captain corrigan @sophiaallenx · So my 4 year old nephew asked me to draw him Harry Potter, he then excitedly shouted "I'LL DO THE LEGS!!!!"

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Text - Fey @Trev97 Ijust remembered that when i got my first dog i was 7 and he was 1 (7 in dog years) and i cried when he turned 2 because i didnt think a 14 year old dog would wanna hangout with me.

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Text - witchmom Bedtime was half an hour ago. My six year old just walked out, bleary eyed, and asked his father if a duck is a predator. orriculum Some things are too important to go to bed without knowing

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Text - wrathofthestag You know what's wild? Remembering that children hear things for the first time without context and are literally like, "What?" I just said "See you later, alligator" to a four-year-old and I think it was the first time they had ever heard that. They froze in their tracks, looked at me completely bewildered then replied, "See you later, chicken" and kept walking.

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Text - roboticonography My friend's four-year-old put on a backyard puppet show for me, the sole audience member. Halfway through the show, she asked me if I liked it, and I replied, "I can't wait to see what happens next! I'm on the edge of my seat!" Hearing this, she carefully put down her puppets, came over to where I was sitting, and explained, "You can use the whole seat. It's more comfy." Source: wrathofthestag

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Text - Manic Mama Follow @JannaKilimnik People coming over. Me: *tidies up* Husband: *fires up the bbq* Toddler: *removes all clothing*

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Text - amazon.co.uk prime Hі. 10:35 Hello 10:35 II

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Text - Malavika | Customer Service I understand your child has accidentally placed an order and you wish to cancel the order with refund. I will help you. 10:36 Great, thank you 10:36

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Text - Malavika | Customer Service Just to confirm, are you referring to "The Extreme Farts Extension Pack"? 10:37 Yes, that's the one 10:37

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Text - Matt Walsh @MattWalshBlog Today my son drew in red marker all over his face then got scared that we'd be mad so he tried to hide it by wrapping toilet paper around his head like a mummy. Then he promptly ran into a wall and nearly knocked himself unconscious. A comedy of errors every day with this kid.

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Text - Steve @papaneedscoffee 2y.o eating his lunch: "Papa's coffee hot?" Me: “Yeah baby it's hot, don't touch." 2y.o: "Me blow on it for Papa?" It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..

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Text - Nik "L(9)S @jacaristar Daughter didn't want "sunscream" sol put her outside and yelled "SUN.... GET HER" and now she's flipping out.

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Text - Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom Before I had kids, I thought had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.

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Product - Daniel Jones Follow @danieljoness My sister just had a baby...she brought her home today and my other niece was so pissed she packed up all of her shit and tried to leave f

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Text - TwinzerDad @TwinzerDad Toddler: Daddy I want toast. Me: ok, buddy. Here's some toast. Toddler: I don't like butter on my toast Me: (flips toast over to the dry side and hands it back) There ya go. Toddler: Thanks Daddy! Toddlers are dumb. Take advantage of it while you can.

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Room - thas been very very picky lately...but LOVES Taco Bell. Sol made a home made meal and put it in an old Taco Bell bag. And IT ACTUALLY WORKED.

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Text - My 6yo, watching me pour draino down his bathroom sink... 6yo: what's that Me: it dissolves whatever gunk is clogging up your drain 6yo: cool, even the screwdriver down there? Me: the wha-

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Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal me, laying on the couch toddler: dad, I didn't go peepee anywhere. I want you to know | didn't. me, getting off the couch

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Text - Lifeguard at the lake: "EVERYONE PLEASE EXIT THE WATER, WE'RE LOOKING FOR A 5 YEAR OLD BOY IN BLUE SHORTS NAMED TITUS" Little boy standing next to me in blue shorts: "hey, my names Titus too"

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Text - Redditors with toddlers, what's the most recent illogical breakdown they've had? Discussion 1 22.4k 5.6k 1, Share BEST COMMENTS O_oHaniG • 7h Shut TheFrontDoor S · 5h He loved being tickled so I was tickling him one day. He let out a huge fart and suddenly started crying and screaming. I ask him why he's screaming and he replies with - I was saving that for later. How and why would you save a fart?

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Text - emily marye @Emily_Runnels this is the look i genuinely thought joe jonas was going to see me wear and fall in love with me in 2008

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Text - Nintendo tutorial I made my mom 30 years ago B fast A Jump Sprt mean's Pause. insructisans For Mario Brothen UFAHOVE You Fromsardh to:

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Groundhog Eating Pizza Becomes Idol In Philadelphia


There comes a moment in one's life, when it is their time to shine. This groundhog is shining like a bright star in a dark night sky. Look at that pizza eating technique. The magical carelessness about the whole getup. It's something else. Truly. Philadelphia is lucky. 

Submitted by: (via 6abc Philadelphia)

Voice Actor Takes Requests From Twitter, Crushes It


If there's such thing as being too good at voice acting, this guy is crushing that category. His skills are mad. I wonder if he just goes around the house pretending to be different people all day, with their perfectly impersonated voices, and ever forgets who he is for a moment? Like his own brain gets tripped out. 

Submitted by: (via ProZD)

Twitter Thread: Declassified CIA Documents Go Full "Stranger Things"


Stranger Things just went real life. Apparently that character Eleven, off the show "Stranger Things", isn't so far off the reality that these declassified CIA documents illustrate. And that would be a very strange reality, indeed. A reality where people can move things across the room using their mind, as long as they're in possession of a special instrument. Trippy. It's like a remote changing the TV, but you can treat the room around you like it's your living TV, or something. 

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek NEW: It took four years but I just got some newly declassified CIIA reports studying the Soviet Union's use of "black magic", telepathic mind control and "psychotronic generators" – devices they said turned people into psychics and let them move objects with their minds. #FOIA

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Text - Approved for Release: 2020/03/06 C00291638.. SECT NOFORN NTEICOICE April 1977 Soviet and East European Parapsychology Research BALE PRÉCIS Some recent US research suggests that it may be possible to use certain paranormal abilities for military or intelligence purposes. There are major uncertainties, however, about the extent to which such abilities exist, their reliability, and their mechanisms of operation. The practical utilization of these abilities has not yet been demonstrated concl

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Text - Black Magic ap be th About 1969 the Soviets reportedly established an official group in their covert program devoted to collecting information on black magic. This group, headed by D. G. Mirza, was given its own secret laboratory (M4 in the Appendix) in Moscow and was assigned the tasks of identifying, locating and evaluating the capabilities of sorcerers, witches, and the incantations used by such individuals. It is unlikely that this avenue of investigation has produced any applied para

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Text - 4. In 1979, Soviet parapsychology research spparently began to move svay from remote vieving and to focus extansively on behav- lor modification, subliminal uggestion and electromagnetie affects on physiologic behavior. In addition, a significant anount of study was devoted to the development of psychotronic generators used to dupliceta paychic effects. I sall handheld instruant at the Institute of Radio Electron- ics and Enginsering (TREE) in MOBCow which was able to move piecas of paper

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek CIA originally denied the request, refusing to confirm or deny the existence of the records by citing "intelligence sources and methods" but we won't read too much into that

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Text - This is a final response to your 10 April 2016 Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request, received in the office of the Information and Privacy Coordinator on 11 April 2016, for "materials covering the Soviet/Russian parapsychology AKA ʻpsychotronic' programs, including behavior modification/mind control, remote viewing and non-local physics." We have assigned your request the reference number above. Please use this number when corresponding so that we can identify it easily. In accordanc

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek It probably doesn't need to be said, but: The anezing thim; to ne is :hat sany prozinen: Jovie: seientisie appear so 1nvoivei pol1:/cally that :hey cre conterned oal; with Ihe pessitility of thuir own promotion and do no: see wiao: is coing on in ei: ovn laborelcr:es. Tneir recearch is very slemy and ofte: their 1eei ":1scoverics" are laier úisproven.

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Text - Emma Best (Mx. Yzptlk) @NatSecGeek "ESP investigators who are working on a project that has such [military] application very often disappear from the scene. They are not incarcerated but are evidently sent off to secret areas to continue their research." #FOIA in. Apparently sme of his funding in past years had come through the Soviet space proram. ESP research as soon as it seens to have any militery spplication. tiçntors uho diseppoar from the scene. He méntioned that the Soviets are us

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Text - Agaricus @agaricus "This group, headed by D.G. Mirza, was given its owns secret laboratory in Moscow and was assigned the task of identifying, locating, and evaluating the capabilities of sorcerers, witches, and the incantations used by such individuals." %3D

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Text - Jack C @enth dang but stephen king had his finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist in the late 70s. uncanny

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Text - Mr.Bumface (@ @misterbumface Replying to @NatSecGeek The Institute by Stephen King comes to life

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Text - enile @enile Replying to @NatSecGeek "A small hand-held instrument ... able to move pieces of paper on a table across the room from the person holding the device". Sounds like a fan!

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Text - Drew McKevitt @drewmckevitt I would watch the hell out of a tv show about this

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Person with Obstructive Name Asks If they're Right to Change It


Sometimes parents get it in their heads that to show the world that their child is a unique and brightly shining star, they'll name their kid something wacky. Maybe it'll be an extremely convoluted set of syllables, or in some cases of horrible names people encountered the name itself is a compromise or even a joke. Whatever the parents intentions, it can be detrimental to ones social life to have an unfortunately wild and silly name.

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Cheezburger Image 9471178496

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Cheezburger Image 9471178752

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Cheezburger Image 9471179008

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Cheezburger Image 9471179264

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Cheezburger Image 9471179520

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Cheezburger Image 9471179776

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Cheezburger Image 9471180032

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Ingenious Insults Full Of Meanness


Good old rare insults take an outside the box approach to the banter game. The comments section always has a trick up its sleeve. With enough time and commitment put forth toward crushing someone's spirits, the perfect rare insult can pop up. This particular batch of rare insults definitely delivered. 

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Photo caption - Replies Tim Kunken:1 week ago 0:37 Are we just gonna forget this scene? Rats are unable to gag or throw up, so this dude's soup is so bad that it broke the rules of nature 939 E 11

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Text - Sam Yousufzai · 3 weeks ago Jake Paul, you don't know me but I've been in a wheelchair most of my life and today I finally stood up just to turn your music off. Ie 4.4K 1 205 VIEW 205 REPLIES 5.1k 51 Share f TOP COMMENTS ▼ -_No-one_-_ •1h•That guy probably got more likes than th.. Altar_Falter • RageFace Against the Machine • 2h • Oh man ... bean_birthday_cake • INFECTED O· 2h Jake Paul is like a gas station bathroom. Hard to look at, but you go back just to make fun of it. Reply 29

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Audio equipment - CORONA if salami was a person it'd look like Joey Diaz IL 2.1K 11 O 19 19 replies

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Text - -1 CRIME WATCHE Fuji • 3 months ago (edited) At least his hair and eyebrows knew better than to come over It 19K 210 VIEW 210 REPLIES Sing Song • 1 week ago He looks like a confused thumb It 2.9K 37

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Leather - abizit gill • 10 months ago Triple H looks like a biker who's killed 3 people but sounds like an insurance agent

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Face - Scott M • 6 months ago You look like a torso coming out of a couch. 563 E 32

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Music - optimisticcosmic • 9 months ago Joey's mouth is below his shoulders. 769 E 24 ...

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Selfie - G• 18 hours ago The dude looks like he's in his mid 40's pretending to be in high schooler in a Hulu original series 1.6K VIEW 10 REPLIES

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Photo caption - M. Hrce EY. ICKE 192 OFFICIALLY TRIGGERED • 6 months ago Carson literally looks like cheddar cheese that decided to be human. 7.9K 1 目34 34 replies

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Text - Kayla Ancrum @KaylaAncrum The hardest I've ever been owned in my life was when I was 21 in Barnes & Noble and a teenager asked me where the manga section was. I told them but also said "I don't work here." They looked me dead in the eye and said "I know. You just looked like someone who would know."

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Food - deme @hotcheetoprncss · 2d why do british people still eat like they're in the 1800s and don't have electricity BBC Yorkshire O @BBCLookNorth Yorkshire, we have an important question. Christmas cake, with or without cheese? Show this thread 1,001 17 37.5K 187K Rebecca Travis @papimorte Replying to @hotcheetoprncss Why do Americans eat like they have free health care?

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Eyewear - Abdu Komilov • 1 week ago He looks if u take off his glasses his nose comes off with it

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Text - Ballin Kaepernick @TheCoolTeacher_ Y'all. I'm in class. Kids are working, talking and whatnot. I hear this: "You're like a plunger. Always bringing up old shit." THOLLERED.

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Photograph - @hassan Maisie Williams looks like a very young grandma #KIMMEL Kimmel

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Font - cool beans • 4 days ago His friend looks like a mannequin with the head on backwards 431 VIEW 6 REPLIES THEE

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Text - Dan Sheehan @ltsDanSheehan Baby Boomers did that thing where you leave a single square of toilet paper on the roll and pretend it's not your turn to change it but with a whole society

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Text - I spent $6K and over 40 hours building my 100% movie-accurate "Groot' costume and yet all the idiots in my office can't stop emailing about Shannon's dumbass toddler's bullshit 'Baby Groot' costume that honestly looks like a turd in a marshmallow.

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Face - COLDEUSION V Comments 15K HeliRy · 7 months ago Mark Zuckerberg's dead eyes, Steve Jobs' black turtle necks, voice of Megatron. Seems legit. 7.6K a 97

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Text - viking @notviking me in fourth grade: look under there friend: under where me: you fool. you absolute moron. you are such a monumental idiot that you don't even realize what you just said. i am a verbal magician and you, my friend, are a naive simpleton. your family line deserves to die with you

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Text - adhdheather to remember how many feet there are in a mile, u just gotta use 5 tomatoes five to-mate-oes sounds like five, two, eight, 0 and there's 5280 feet in a mile official-deutschland To remember how many meters there are in a kilometre you just remember "1000" because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn't invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.

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