Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Humans Are Weird, Durable Space Orcs


One Tumblr thread leads into another, and they're all focused on honoring the strangeness of human beings. It's a fun shift in perspective to consider an alien fleet arriving, chatting it up with some humans, and ultimately being impressed/baffled over how humans pull off the crazy stuff that they do. Maybe aliens are the normal ones. 

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Text - crazy-pages Alien: "I'm sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?" Human: "Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range." Alien: I'm sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?" Human: "Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy." Other human: "Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -2

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Text - • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them. • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet. Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking terrifying it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break your neck it's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to hav

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Text - WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you split! again! but it keeps following you. always in the corner of your eye. until you just die we are scary motherfuckers ok

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