Monday, November 9, 2020

Speed Comparison Between Supercar, Production Car, And Extra Old Production Car


The suspension can really change the game when it comes to cornering speed. Sheesh. How the times have changed. 

Submitted by: (via RacingVolt)

John Mayer Struggles To Find Note, Then Nails It


For some of us, the struggle just persists with an infuriating stubborn fortitude until we've all but lost hope. For John Mayer, it gives way to bursts of pure brilliance. At least that's what this was. 

Submitted by: (via Simon Nackborn)

Tagged: impressive , Music , awesome , Video , win

Donor Heart Makes It Through Helicopter Crash, Staff Drops It


After fishing the donated heart from the wreckage of a non-fatal helicopter crash, firefighters handed off the thing to a waiting medical professional. Almost immediately, the staff member tripped and dropped the human heart on the ground. Doctors were still able to successfully transplant the heart, so other than that it went pretty well.

Submitted by: (via FOX 5 San Diego)

Sick Tweets from the Twitter-verse


Scrolling through Twitter can feel a lot like whipping through the chaotic, disorganized thoughts of a raving madman. That said, quite a few of those thoughts are kind of awesome. Sometimes it's time to say "so long" to focus and embrace the chaos of funny tweets to give your day a boost.

1.

Text - Dr. Songo AKESOH-O @songo_doc SS That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight, CHOOSING THE RIGHT PIGEON 1:43 p.m. · 02 Nov. 20 · Twitter Web App >

2.

Text - alina @loversinfilm you are the dancing queen, young and sweet, stuck in quarantine

3.

Text - *Hack Mamba* Nick OhlessA @NickOHlessA Kenny Rogers dippin in the middle of the apocalypse is the most "know when to fold'em" thing ever. 9:10 a.m. · 21 Mar. 20 · Twitter for iPhone

4.

Text - SAFETYC US Consumer Product S... Good morning. It's Friday. You can't punch a virus (science) · 03 Apr. v PRODUCT NITED STATED 14 27 250 1,378 New Jersey @NJGOV Replying to @USCPSC hold my bagel 6:58 a.m. · 03 Apr. 20 · Twitter for iPhone 343 Retweets 3,234 Likes A @eddiethe. · 03 Apr. v Replying to @NJGOV and @USCPSC Is...is New Jersey going to try to fistfight Edwardo the virus? L7 25 401 New Jersey O @NJGOV · 03 Apr. who's asking O 13 27 88 1,595 RealMissMorgue This. This is exactly wh

5.

Text - GlitterBombShell @justmiche74 "I'm so glad I stopped killing spiders after re-reading Charlottes Web", I say out loud to my delicious bacon 9:36 a.m. · 16 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone

6.

Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal Last night my son asked if l'd ever heard of a pillow fight. I said I had not, so he explained the premise & asked if I would play. I awkwardly held a pillow as he gave me pointers through a smile that lit up the room. My first swing took him off his feet. He never saw it coming.

7.

Text - jOnnl @pimecorp you're not depressed. you just need to drink more water, eat healthier, get 8 hours of sleep, exercise regularly, land your dream job, find a romantic partner that respects you for you, buy a vacation home in a tropical paradise, transcend your corporeal form and achieve godhood 1:26 p.m. · 09 Dec. 18 · Twitter for iPhone

8.

Text - abby! @abbyomalley_ babies will not eat vegetables but they will eat airplanes. whats up with that 1:26 p.m. · 29 Oct. 20 · Twitter for iPhone

9.

Text - sarah slothanova @slothanova At least during the 1918 pandemic they had cocaine in their soda 5:06 p.m. · 30 Jul. 20 · Twitter for iPhone 125K Retweets and comments 796K Likes

10.

Text - Ray Classic @SirEviscerate I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The piñata is unscathed. 7:06 p.m. · 02 May 15 · Twitter for Android 6,459 Retweets and comments 14K Likes

11.

Text - Un Poco Loco @Bexyful AmI the most attractive woman out there ? Of course not. But do l have a good personality ? Well, no. But do I wake up every day and try to be the best person that I can be ? Also no.

12.

Text - Вoog S @BoogTweets Me: *carefully going around the victims body with chalk* Detective: We don't usually outline the balls Me: oh l'm not a cop lol 9:05 a.m. · 16 Oct. 18 · Twitter for iPhone >

13.

Text - andrew @AndrewChamings accidentally opened my eyes during prayer at church and saw jesus doing the worm 5:54 p.m. · 01 May 19 · Twitter for iPhone

14.

Text - the apocalypse, but fashion @ElleArmageddon Has anyone made the demand that that couple who started a wildfire by throwing a gender reveal party name their child Trogdor? - strong name - gender neutral - burninates the countryside 10:11 a.m. · 24 Sep. 20 · Twitter for iPhone <>

15.

Text - Rich Neville @RichNeville Found something new to say when I leave a room. Stay Fresh Cheese Bags Bag Size: 20x30cms (Approx.) 4:41 p.m. · 31 Jan. 19 · Tweetbot for iOS

16.

Text - Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith Willy Wonka: Welcome to my chocolate factory! Kid: I love chocolate! Willy Wonka: It's death for you. | also make gum! Next kid: I love gum! Willy Wonka: Death. Anyone else here love anything? Next kid: ... I like TV? Willy Wonka: . . Death. .... 11:32 p.m. · 29 Nov. 19 · Twitter Web App >

17.

Text - tatum @50FirstTates asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. asked them the same thing until i got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life 2:07 p.m. · 08 Oct. 20 · Twitter for iPhone

18.

Organism - Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Me, January 1st: this is gonna be the best year of my life! 2020: 12:42 p.m. · 11 Sep. 20 · Twitter for iPhone

19.

Room - @dumbricardo HE CHARGING UP FOR HIS SPECIAL ATTÁC

20.

Classical sculpture - linc @lincnotfound et tu, bootay? 4:22 p.m. · 10 Oct. 20 · Twitter Web App >

21.

Text - YAEL @elle91 When the moon hits your dish And you mispronounce fish Albacore 7:49 a.m. · 18 Oct. 20 · Twitter for Android

22.

Text - Abbie @AbbieEvansXO me: I don't need to write it down, l'll remember me 5 seconds later: oh no 1:24 p.m. · 19 Oct. 20 · Twitter Web App >

23.

Text - Piece @Piecezilla Alcohol effects people differently. When I drink, I become happy joyful and free. The life of the party. Meanwhile, those around me become bitter and angry. Jealous that I know everything, have the ability to dance to any song, and most of all become both sexy and fireproof. 10:51 p.m. · 21 Oct. 20 · Twitter for Android >

24.

Text - trick-corr-treat @okiecorri i personally think cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn't recognize her without makeup 11:14 a.m. · 20 Jul. 20 · Twitter for iPhone <>

25.

Text - geeky steven @geekysteven Not to get all political, but I think Steve Urkel knew he did that. He knew the entire time. 7:35 a.m. · 27 Oct. 16 · Twitter for Android >

26.

Text - Natty Lumpo @nattylumpo88 If duct-taping a matchbox trans am to one's ear and pretending it's a bluetooth device is wrong, then maybe - hang on. I've got to take this. 1:30 p.m. · 30 Oct. 20 · Twitter for Android >

Submitted by:

Moments that Show the Weird Dumbness of Children


To put it bluntly, children aren't completely people. Their brains aren't done cooking yet, and they're absolutely not ready to bear the solemn, bill-paying mantle of adulthood. What you get are some prime examples of how weird and dumb kids are. They get their heads stuck in chairs, throw tantrums when they don't get to eat cleaning products, and climb on TVs. Kids are weird and dumb.

1.

Text - Children are the best fundraisers because they don't understand economics: Principal: The student who raises $500 dollars for the school will get this free hat 12 year old me: That is such a great deal

2.

Text - Brian Wecht 000 @bwecht shoutout to my 6yo who, during one of her Zoom classes, brought the laptop into the bathroom while I was taking a shower, causing me to scream "TURN OFF THE CAMERA" several times while she screamed "I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE TAKING A SHOWER"

3.

Text - Enormous Earl @enormous_earl When I was 12 I tried to cheat at poker by pulling some cards out of a nearby deck when nobody was looking. I grabbed 3 kings and put them in my hand, discreetly hiding the cards I was replacing. So then there I was, holding out my 5 cards: 3 with red backs, 2 with blue backs.

4.

Hair - RADDIKULUS EXPELITARMUS AUMOS TUM LIVIOS INGAI

5.

Text - Melissa Petzer: 1 year ago My mom found an assignment I did in third or fourth grade where I had to describe my role model. I chose my mom and then said she is my role model because "she does stuff for me" and the photo I chose was one of her chugging a margarita.

6.

Wood - 20:05 1 Home Favourites Recent -0- -0- When your son comes home with this that he made in holiday club Apparently it's a hedgehog 2 comments

7.

Child - She wanted ravioli for dinner. I made ravioli for dinner. She didn't want ravioli for dinner

8.

Text - have q good war Actual 5 letteR From Kid

9.

Text - When I was nine I got the food slapped out of my mouth for calling my twelve year old sister a slut at the dinner table. She dropped a fork or something so my smart ass says "nice one slut." My mom apparently had no idea l had confused the word with clutz.

10.

Pumpkin - ... This Fills Me With A Rage I Didn't Anticipate 7h • E My son wanted to do his own design instead of one of the precuts. He decided to make a "machete with blood dripping down" So now I have to display a fucking penis pumpkin for Halloween O 2.1K 203 Comments

11.

Display device

12.

Text - 9h · : My child told me he wanted to be a veterinarian tonight. I asked what made him want to do that and he said "I just think it's kind of gross that meat comes from animals and I think it's really gross that when you squeeze an utter really hard, cheese comes out of it. I just can't eat it anymore." A veterinarian O Like Comment A Share sand 11 others

13.

Text - cassietotallyjust: In first grade I wanted to grow up to be a bird and one day I remember my neck and arms being covered in little red bumps and I thought the transformation was beginning and I ran to my teacher crying saying I wasn't ready to become a bird yet and it turned out I was just allergic to yogurt and I wasn't turning into a bird at all

14.

Text - no Boos a Lad GPLS ULALD

15.

Text - Conversation My 7 year old just woke me up at 1:00 in the morning and asked me if water is window juice This 7 year old Idon't need sleep. I need answers. made with mematic

16.

Text - When I was like 8 | heard that insects died in the winter so I started crying and ran out to the street with a plastic bag and put as many insects in it as possible,which of course suffocated them.

17.

Text - WAY FINDER 10-10-2020 128 PM L2 Search Please enter at least 3 characters to start your search mom Nomuts found Sup Young kid lost at Our Tampines Hub searched for mother on touchscreen mall directory Big brain moment.

18.

Text - ... Sep 6, 2019 ... to me v To the Parents/Guardians of It has come to our attention that there is a goldfish snorting challenge that is becoming popular among students. With several youtube videos being produced, students are mimicking the challenge in the lunchroom and on school buses. We have spoken to students and made announcements about the health hazards of snorting anything through nostrils including infections, irritation of the lungs, and aspiration that could lead to pneumonia,

19.

Organism - Kid destroys $15,000 LEGO sculpture an hour after new exhibit opens NLY

20.

Organism - 1:30 Sand Dollars: Its Alive! Sea Something 11M views 8 years ago Anime Princess 1 month ago Confession I took a bite of my sand dollar when I was little now I just realized what I did 凸 686 回 29 29 REPLIES

21.

Child - Coca wwwwRAAR

22.

Child

23.

Car - 1:36 PM Search Facebook I has decided that, because his boots are camo, he shouldn't have to put them in his closet bc "you can't see them." News Feed Friends Watch Marketplace Notifica

24.

Text - When I was riding in the car as a kid, there was one road where my mom would start repeatedly looking over her shoulder and accelerating pretty rapidly. I thought the road was a place where police were always stationed, and that she was being chased by the cops every single time. It wasn't until I was about 11 when I realized that she was just merging onto the freeway.

25.

Child - I won't let him eat the bathroom garbage

Submitted by:

Tagged: FAIL , kids , parenting , Memes , lol , dumb , funny , stupid