This vegan restaurant owner is their own worst enemy when it comes to trying to bring in new business. You're out here snapping at customers who are complaining about being uncomfortable trying to eat, while your kid is running around the establishment naked. Maybe not the best look for your restaurant -- in terms of having the kid run around, and the way you're going about handling the review.
Submitted by:
If you find yourself mistakenly added to a group text between soccer moms, your best course of action is to trigger them to no end by saying that your "imaginary" kid is the best. There's no coming back from tossing that kind of shade. And a beautiful touch with the halftime snacks comment.
Submitted by:
You know when you see #IBlameKarenFor trending on Twitter that you're about to see some hilarious hot takes on what kinds of bad stuff people can blame "Karen" for in their world. A solid starting point would be blaming Karen for a fear of short haircuts on older women very likely named "Karen." Next thing you know you'll be hearing them asking to speak to a manager.
Submitted by:
Keaton Patti is a wonderfully weird writer who's behind other "bot written" scripts such as this John Wick script, as well as this Diner's Drive-Ins and Dives script. He claims that each one is written by a computer program that has consumed over a thousand hours of their respective content, but since the amount of content for each doesn't come close to a thousand hours, we're not so sure about that process. Either way, we love these.
Submitted by:
You've got to love those snarky co-workers that spice up the workplace with funny sticky notes. It's a nice hot take on decorating, and really keeps the otherwise soulless, air-conditioned hellhole looking a bit more lively. These office notes didn't fail to get a few laughs out of us.
Submitted by:
Relationships are work. That would be perfectly fine if parenting wasn't work also. And also if regular work wasn't work. Kids will have meltdowns for dumb reasons and spouses will never learn where you keep the good plates, but that's life. Anyway, the takeaway is that everything is work but it's probably rewarding or something and here's some jokes.
Submitted by:
These choosing beggars are in a league of their own. Some people wake up every day, enter the world, and expect the red carpet to be rolled out for them as they're bombarded with free handouts from everyone. Not only that, but these same entitled goons will enter into negotiations with sellers, artists, etc. while they've no intention on forking over as much as a dime. Unreal.
Submitted by:
This guy decided to out a girl he hooked up with after he found out she had herpes, after not disclosing it to him when they originally hooked up. Apparently he posted anonymously on their University's Facebook page, and just wanted to warn other people, because of his experience with her deceiving him. From there he proceeded to face quite a bit of backlash. Was he in fact the asshole for outing her, or did he do the right thing? Or, are they both just kind of crappy people in this equation?
Submitted by:
You wouldn't think there could be so many threats out there, but apparently every machine, animal and tree is trying to get you. Some signs are intentionally scary, some are just spooky by circumstance. Either way, all these scary signs have something about them that makes you go "aw hell no."
Submitted by:
The verdict's yet to be determined on whether or not these silly and hilarious Tinder bios properly capture various bible figures for all their quirks. Either way, even if you only know a few of these they're definitely entertaining.
Submitted by:
If you thought it would be a good idea to break up with your significant other on the first hour into a long car ride, you're gonna need a stern talking to. Breakups can lead to unsavory moments, like this desperate guy had to resort to, but it's best to go through with them if they're necessary. Just try not to do them like this.
Submitted by:
Yeah, she goes from an innocent fivehead to full on Elephant Man status. Twitter user @RhiRob99, went ahead and tweeted out a reminder that it was about this time last year when her friend's head grew to 900x its normal size due to a violent allergic reaction to grass/wheat. They're lucky everything worked out, cause it sounds like they waited a dangerously long amount of time to seek medical attention.
Submitted by:
If you're doing risky crap, it helps if you like helmets. Thankfully this dude was wearing one or this video wouldn't be nearly as entertaining to watch. As you can see, he very quickly develops a fantastic reason to love helmets.
Submitted by: (via wakoiii)
We get a kick out of people being petty like this guy who uses his imperfect lawn to drive his mean neighbor insane, but we've never seen someone cause family drama with the act of pitching a red onion as far as they could. To be fair to him, they already had some cut onions, but to be fair to her, it is just an onion.
Submitted by:
We're back with a fresh collection of Tinder users doing their best to annoy, charm, or hook up with another willing candidate on an app that often seems like a plain old loveless place. These Tinder users definitely swung for the fences, and the results are amazingly not all bad. Maybe the direct approach is more effective on this app than people make it out to be.
Submitted by:
Strange things happen when you're driving at night. Creepy things. Your eyes start playing tricks on you, and everything starts looking like a threat. With the added bonus of random crap literally jumping out at you from nowhere like deer and loose tires, many pants have been soiled while driving down the highway at 3 AM.
Submitted by:
"Goodnight Mr. Snuggles, I love you." Whatever happened to 12 year olds in gaming lobbies saying they had sex with your mom? I guess they all grew up and got cats. This guy would've gotten eaten alive in a Call of Duty lobby.
Submitted by: (via LivestreamFails)
This Tumblr user shares one hilarious story about her experience as a kid, ordering up "First Wives Club 2" on pay-per-view without knowing that it was in fact adult entertainment. The ensuing tense dinner table conversation between her stubborn self and family members over who could've bought such a dirty movie is absolutely hilarious.
Submitted by:
Twitter user @Rich_Cooper really dug deep for this list of antagonizing BS. It's as if he pulled his list of 6 ways to keep a man, right out of the 1950s itself. If his goal was to piss of tons of people on Twitter, then mission accomplished. We pulled together some of the angriest reactions on Twitter.
Submitted by:
When this IT guy found out that his greedy new boss and his henchman sidekick had essentially tried to play him by claiming his hard work as their own; and only offering him a couple vacation days as payment, he took a well calculated revenge. He played his revenge perfectly too. He managed to get the boss' "yes man henchman" to sign off on a two week vacation and his notice for leaving, without even realizing it.
Submitted by:
Sometimes your brain tries to make sense of something before your eyes actually have a chance to adjust to what's really going on. The result can be double-take-worthy moments where people look like giants, dogs look like they're buff, and mountains have faces, among other things. So get ready to strain youreyesa little.
Submitted by:
A recent AskReddit thread has people sharing the most annoying parts about sex that nobody seems to talk about. It could be the awkward frustration of finding yourself not in the mood while your partner is all the way there; or maybe it's something like a case of lock jaw.
Submitted by:
We're big fans of expectations losing to reality. It just captures the spirit of a good old fashioned fail. Sometimes good intentions aren't enough to get the job done. You might set out to bake that perfect birthday cake, and end up with a sloppy monstrous looking creation that looks nothing like the picture on the box. Or maybe you got faked out by a deceptive promo from a fast food place that serves up hideous burgers that look absolutely nothing like what originally ignited your appetite.
Submitted by:
People lie on the internet for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they want to seem cool. Sometimes they want to seem smart. Sometimes they'll overstate some scientific breakthrough just to get more attention, or they'll massage the facts to make their own cause seem more truthful. Luckily, there's still people out there who call out liars on their stupid BS.
Submitted by:
The internet loves a good little Millennials vs Baby Boomers online battle. This Baby Boomer was in for a rude awakening in the comments section after their post about millennial entitlement and free education vs. affordable education. Sometimes the best way to address bullish ignorance is to break out the facts. Their point was very well put, and it doesn't look like angry baby boomer had anything else to say about the matter.
Submitted by:
