Monday, October 19, 2020

Track Star Pulls Off Comeback For The Ages


Literally nobody saw this coming. She emerged from the underworld itself, and blazed by the rest of the competition when everyone else had counted her out. 

Submitted by: (via Good Morning America)

Woman's Fence Dispute is Amazingly Petty


What better symbol for a neighborly dispute than an ugly fence? It started with a misunderstanding about fence height, and boy these people must not have been able to talk it out, because the "resolution" they ended up going with is stellar example of extreme pettiness. And you can tell, she's serious.

Submitted by: (via WSB-TV)

Tagged: wtf , fence , dispute , petty , lol , argument , amazing , funny

Man Explains McDonald's Ice Cream Machine Protocol


This man fearlessly addressed the ongoing drama surrounding the performance of the ice cream machines from McDonald's. Maybe they should just serve hot ice cream during those times when the machines are doing their cleaning things. 

Submitted by: (via Andre Martin)

Americans And Brits Duke It Out On Tumblr


We always love a little good old cultures clash on Tumblr. So, comparing Hershey's chocolate to any chocolate sold back in England is a grave, mortal sin. Duly noted. Also, that whole bit about how the Brits call it "maths" while Americans call it math was a trip. If you enjoyed these funny Tumblr moments, check out this Twitter thread where cultures clash over canned chicken.

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Text - impala-outside-221b: severalzygons: civilish: severalzygons: civilish: severalzygons: civilish: Do British people not drink ice tea as much as Americans do? What do they drink during the summer? tea But it's hot... only tea there are no other drinks only tea Wait.. What if you don't like tea? then the weak die natural selection

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Text - nutrigrainbarf: serious question are there any other channels in england besides bbc bbc2 bbc3 ВВC Four bbc1 hd ВBC Five BBC News 24 BBC Parliament ВВC HD Birminghan UNITED KINGDOM Fstguard pswich Londud Reading Southampton Dun Calais ighton Portsmouth Cmou Weymouth Strat of Dover English Channel Aey Cherbourg Am CHANNEL ISLANDS Le Havre Sare Guemsy Rouen Aney Cag Brest Cbbc If you're not into TV there's BBC Radio 1 BBC radio 2, 3, 4 and 6

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Text - England: "Fantastic. Cheerio, America." America: "Yeah. Fruit Loops to you, too, dude." s aphcanada-remade 153,269 notes Jul 17th, 2017 ...

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Newspaper - Monday September 2, 200 METRO 27 Ship crashed 'after captain forgot about English coast' o l wey One minute each day for ONE extra minute of brik ativity can make nealy hall apound dfference average woman's weight new research shows Lots of short bouts of heart and lungworking activity stais instead ty HAYDEN SMIT CAPIAIN hi carge ship apoond aher ploting ped xpose has revealed san, an sipper f de MV Di lt abo a course Im Sodd to Belpum ccon astaking of a i had the same effect as les

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Text - annyoung89: Raise your hand if you have watched so much British television that is has actually changed your speech patterns. I've not the slightest idea how you've come round to that idea. Exactly. I haven't the foggiest idea of how you've come to that conclusion. What in the bloody hell are you blabbering on bout you twat? Behold, people that have never been within 50 feet of anyone even remotely British. Fremdscham (German) Embarrassment felt on behalf of someone else (often someone so

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Face - HERSHEY'S VIC COMICS CA fadingnebula: ninjagurlftw:

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Text - bowiesglassspider: GOOD GOD THIS IS LIKE EATING RAW COCOA EVEN AS I TYPE NOW I CAN FEEL IT BURNING AT THE BACK OF MY THROAT DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT SUGAR IS FUCK IT IS STILL BURNING I DRANK LIKE A PINT OF RIBENA AND IT STILL BURNS what a bunch of wimps

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Text - i dont understand its just chocolate its not even dark chocolate its just regular old hershey's milk chocolate what where you expecting Just to clear things up I'm british and I was expecting a bar of chocolate that had some semblance of sugar or milk Hershey's just appears to be solid cocoa death wait so is british chocolate just like pure sugar or something Pretty much How do you think we survive such long periods of uninteresting bland politics and weather i love the real world news vi

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Text - harrysgettinhead: british people are so fucking cute they called christmas lights 'fairy lights' they called sweaters 'jumpers' sneakers are 'trainers' they say 'you alright/you ok' instead of 'how are you' i quit fuck off you condescending twat They also have a very firm grasp on the words cunt and twat, as illustrated above Dickhead is another favourite, knobjockey perhaps too if you're feeling adventurous.

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Text - snorlaxatives: quiettimeeverytime: snorlaxatives: do british people really eat beans on toast as a meal in america is everyone ignorant it was just a question damn no need to get hostile go eat some beans on toast 3 setheverman Source: snorlaxatives 558,006 notes Jul 17th, 2017

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Text - Anonymous asked: BUT WHAT DOES CHEEKY NANDOS *MEAN* IT HAS TO HAVE A MEANING youngvlcanoes: ahrned: chavvesty:

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Text - mate it's hard to explain mate it's just like one day you’ll just be wif your mates having a look in jd and you might fancy curry club at the 'Spoons but your lad Calum who's an absolute ledge and the archbishop of banterbury will be like 'brevs lets have a cheeky nandos instead." and you'll think "Top. Let's smash it." what the hell does this say im f*cking crying

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Text - thinkinsidethebluebox: exprincesssammya: prinsenafnord: exprincesssammya: prinsenafnord: Britain is a strange place. #WE HAVE TO BOOST THE POWER AT A CERTAIN TIME TO COPE WITH EVERYONE PUTTING THE KETTLE ON FOR A CUP OF TEA yOU'RE JOKING RIGHT wow No, I'm not. It even has a wiki page. Oh my god.

Submitted by:

Karen Racks Up $16K Phone Bill, Rejects Help From Call Center


All we're missing in this story about a Karen racking up a disgusting $16K cell phone bill while on vacation in some remote island, is a picture of what Karen's face looked like when she learned she was only being given $25 in credit toward the bill. Mind you, this is $25 in credit compared to the thousands ($14K) she was previously offered by a tremendously helpful call center employee. But no, Karen got unbelievably greedy (if not fraudulent), and rejected the kindness being shown to her. Suffice to say, she certainly paid the price. 

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Submitted by:

Choosing Beggar Takes Lowballing To New Extreme


Some people are blinded by their own entitlement to such an extent that it's generally impossible to reason with them. This conversation was clearly destined to go nowhere from the start. The choosing beggar came out waving all the red flags. Also, the whole delivery demand situation was truly mind boggling. 

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Text - Text Message Today 12:22 PM Hey is your sofa set still available? Hi, yes it's available. How is the condition? How firm are the seats?

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Text - It's in an excellent condition and the seats are more on the soft side but very comfortable Okay. How negotiable is the price and can you deliver? I am willing to negotiate but will only accept a reasonable offer. Also, it's only for pick up, I mentioned it in the ad. How much were you asking? $450

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Text - Will you take $180??? I can do $190 if you deliver. Are you serious? I said l'll accept a reasonable offer and you're offering $180? And only $10 for delivery when renting a Uhaul truck will be at least $60-70? The lowest l'll go is $400

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Text - I can do $200 but only if you deliver. I have a bad back and cannot lift anything heavy. Let's say I agree to deliver it, who will unload it and take it inside if you have a bad back? You can bring someone to help you to bring it inside my apartment. You've got to be kidding me $400 and you pick up plus bring someone to help you.

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The Moment People Realized They Were Old


Feeling old is a new prospect for many of us. We tend to feel like ourselves most of the time, and it takes an outside reminder to help show that maybe we're not spring chickens anymore. An ill-timed back-ache or finding your favorite song used in a "throwback" compilation can make aging a too-close reality. To feel a little younger, here are some things that are older than people think.

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Text - splig999 386 points · 1 day ago Went to concert. Held up lighter. Everyone else held up cell phone.

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Text - nerbovig 36.1k points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago 22 3 28 & 2 More Coming around the corner of a department store and seeing my dad come around the corner at the same time. It was a mirror.

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Text - Vinny_Lam 30.9k points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago 8 & 2 More When I'm signing up for an account on a website, I have to scrollI back pretty far to find my birth year now.

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Text - jellybellymom 27.9k points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago O 2 3 9 2 & 34 More When I fell down at work and no one laughed. Instead three people came running over to make sure I was ok.

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Text - jahvidsanders44 23.5k points 1 day ago 220 2 4 Instead of growing facial hair to look older, I'm shaving it to look younger.

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Text - bigbysemotivefinger 23.4k points · 1 day ago S I saw a picture on Facebook of a friend from college and thought, damn he got fat and old. I immediately realized... I also got fat and old.

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Text - KushinLos 21.6k points · 2 days ago I used to drive for uber and one night I realized the college girls I picked up could have been my adult daughters

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Text - ThisIsToMarkResearch 20.0k points · 1 day ago They played Green Day and The Offspring on the "classic rock" radio station.

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Text - Ienjoywearinghats 17.8k points · 1 day a edited 1 day ago I had to explain to someone how we 3 e S 2 & 9 More used to organise meeting up before cell phones became a thing. That and having to use encyclopedias and other books to complete homework. I'm mid 30s. The reactions I was getting, It was like I was explaining how to split an atom using two sporks.

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Text - Siknutty 13.6k points · 2 days ago When I find myself grunting and groaning just to bend over to tie my shoes.

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Text - abeetzwmoots 13.6k points · 2 days ago When my son could outrun me

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Text - tenehemia 11.2k points · 1 day ago When I was in my late 20s I dated a girl who had a daughter. The daughter and I got along great, played a bunch of Katamari together, etc. Years later, that girl and I have long since broken up. I did some volunteer teaching at one of the local alternative schools with my wife. And one of students in the film class we taught was my ex girlfriends daughter, now 18 years old. At some point in your life, whether you have kids or not, you realize you're tech

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Text - Honic_Sedgehog 9.6k points · 1 day ago When I overheard my teenage niece and her friends taking the piss out of "things Millennials say."

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Text - the_monkey_of_lies 9.6k points · 2 days ago 3 When I went to a music festival and slept in a tent after five or so years of not doing so. My god. I need to get home and take a real shower.

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Text - I_hate_traveling 7.3k points · 1 day ago I was playing basketball alone and a bunch of kids smashed a beer bottle on the other side of the court just for fun. I shouted at them, told them to pick up the pieces and warned them not to do that shit ever again. They got scared shirtless and apologized. I had never felt older.

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Text - leafsblow 6.7k points · 2 days ago When I mentioned Mr. T to my wife's friend and she had no clue who I was talking about.

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Text - RRuruurrr 6.4k points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago . I was teaching a class last week and told my audience that they may need to MacGyver a solution if they come upon a certain problem. No one knew what that meant. Because someone asked, it was an EMT refresher course. These are the people you trust with your life!

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Text - cooler_user_name 6.1k points · 2 days ago Getting excited over things like a new vacuum, new water heater, or a not plastic silverware tray. Realizing the Lincoln Park album i like is 20 years old. Laughing when someone invites me out, especially if the start of the event is 9 pm.

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Text - Toadie9622 5.5k points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago 23 When my oldest daughter was in 1st grade, she brought a note home from the teacher, saying that my daughter had misbehaved. I had to sign it and send it back. My daughter was scared and tearful and it suddenly struck me: holy shit - I'm the adult here. I'm the authority figure who a little girl is scared to be in trouble with. To me, I was the same person I was when I was 16.

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Text - brownies671 4.5k points · 2 days ago · edited 1 day ago kids born in 2002-2003 are in college now. could've sworn they were always 8

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Text - jamhamster 3.4k points · 1 day ago 3 3 a I was at work and had a meeting with an ex Olympic gymnast. She was stunning and had cosmetic surgery to 'enlarge her frontage' She was also wearing quite a low cut top that had metal spikes in the shoulders. All (supposedly) very distracting stuff. My very first thought - 'I bet that jumper makes a noise in the tumble dryer' My second thought - 'Fuck I'm old'

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Text - _chrom_ 2.0k points · 1 day ago Today. Eminem is 48 years old

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Text - imk 1.9k points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago O When I took off my driving glasses and put on my reading glasses for the first time. But the worst one was when I saw a girl in a supermarket near me that looked exactly like a girlfriend I had a long time ago. I was about to go up and say something to her when this older lady grabbed her and said "Kaitlyn come here" and scowled at me. At that moment I realized that the old lady was my ex and the girl was her daughter. That was a low blow.

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Text - SocraticMethod24 1.7k points ·1 day ago I grew up watching Friends and remember an episode where Jack Geller (Monica and Ross's dad) talks about having to shave his ear hair. It was a funny, gross moment. I have to do that weekly now.

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Text - thatwontfly 1.7k points · 1 day ago When my new doctor looked like Doogie Howser MD. For those that don't know that reference, point proven.

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Text - pharmacylaw 1.5k points · 2 days ago When I learned what I've been referring as "pound + xyz" is actually “hashtag + xyz". I still don't know why it is called a hashtag instead of pound tho.

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Text - Cormie 1.4k points · 1 day ago S E When a kid said "What's a DVD". Not even VHS...

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Text - Red-7134 1.0k points · 1 day ago I was cleaning out the storage room and came across my old Gameboy. Said to myself, "wow, this makes me feel old. It's been like 10 years since this was made." Got curious and googled it. 1989. (д)

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Text - the_jessence 669 points · 1 day ago e O I loved American Eagle, especially their jeans. Went in one day and saw a t-shirt that said "Totes Amaze." Turned around and exited the store. Haven't been in the store or bought clothes from them since. I'm so old I just buy my clothes from Target.

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Text - mboian84 471 points · 1 day ago Teaching a class to soldiers and I mentioned "I joined the military because of 9/11, we all remember where we were when that happened right?" Soldier responds, "I wasn't born yet"

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