Friday, August 28, 2020

Totally Random And Hilarious Tinder Moments


Oh, yes, we're back at it again with a fresh collection of strange, immature, cheesy, and generally random moments from the minds of the Tinder world. Tinder is a giant magnet for the world's most absurd pickup lines. It is the place to try out those one-liners that you'd never actually say in real life. Plus, on rare occasion, it's a place to strike up a genuine connection with someone else. Just requires some patience and a commitment to sifting through all the jokes along the way. 

1.

Furniture - Oh sorry for the unsolicited deck pic. That was for someone else That is a sexy deck 10/10 would sit on it Trimmed the bushes so it looks bigger

2.

Text - Austin Locke @austinlockedup I'm pretending to be a hot girl on tinder sol can match with my roomate and tell him Im coming over so he'll clean the apartment

3.

Text - Hayley YOU MATCHED WITH HAYLEY ON 8/10/20 Can I ask you a question? GO AHEAD If there is a watermelon why isn't there a firemelon and earthmelon. And why can't I be the master of all the elomons. Because only the avomon, master of all 4 elomons can stop the firemelons, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.

4.

Photography - Gin, 30 A Lives in Singapore O 4 miles away Born and bred here. Looking for tonic.

5.

Text - Amber 19 8 Straight Woman O 497 kilometer(s) away Hey wanna come over and watch all 3 lord of the rings extended edition films and not look at your phone so as to fully immerse yourself in the world and listen to me tell you about how viggo broke his foot on the helmet and how that's Peter Jackson eating the carrot

6.

Text - i Gonna go for a drive Cool where you going? Gonna go earn money What car do you drive?

7.

Text - So you're those types of people What type of people? Why does it matter what kind of car I drive? I just like cars lol It doesn't really matter I mean, like some people don't have cars too. So it's kinda risky assuming someone has a car. You said you're going for a drive...

8.

Text - Andy, 24 û Software Engineer o The Ohio State University O 10 miles away Baking Travel) (Movies) (Climbing Gamer fuck people who play jenga wrong "YoU tOucHEd ThAt BIOckK So yOu HavE tO PuLI tHat OnE Out" You've never even fucking read the rules have you, you shithead idiot. What, is the game over in 3 seconds, if you just so happen to touch a load bearing block first?FUCKING NO DUMBASS. Learn to read you illiterate fuck.

9.

Text - ur the guy I saw in giant a few weeks ago haha Lol I was thinking "Wait! I saw her at giant a couple weeks ago" Permission to use a pickup line ? permission granted haha Guess we both found our snacks in the grocery store Type a message Send

10.

Text - Today 16:27 You have the same name as my mum, can you make me food too? Of course Are you on the menu? Yes I am 05? I dont know how, but yon used the Wrang formda an) 2 got the coront answer -o.14-tobr AS O.14 1.03

11.

Text - Today 07:08 Say potato looking for hookup add me on snap (emamao2020) Yeah, so the word we were looking for was "potato". I'm a so sorry, but thanks for playing! Sent Type a message...

12.

Text - Hey Danielle Today 10:27 AM Нey! So can I be frank with you Sure Sent I'm not trying to date you or anything, I'm robbing a bank and need an attractive female to distract an overweight guard that runs the night shift. Clothing will be provided. All you need to do is hold his attention for 15 minutes and 49 seconds. Are you in or out Danielle ?

13.

Text - Can you solve a Rubik's cube in less than 12 seconds? No way Okay good neither can I Just wanted to make sure I wouldn't be intimidated by you Haha okay good Okay sweet we're dating now That's how tinder works Or so I'm told Lol ok but I don't think my boyfriend would like that No I'm fine with it

14.

Text - Sat, Jul 18, 11:04 PM If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would you be and why? Sat, Jul 18, 11:40 PM Rocky road cause l've been goin through it lol wbu Tue, Jul 21, 4:35 PM Was I the wrong kind of ice cream Sent GIF Type a message...

15.

Text - Max You might be the only girl l've seen that has only solo pics and I love that It's cause I have no friends a Sent

16.

Text - Okay I don't want to get into this but I broke up a few weeks ago, I just want to enjoy some good time Ahh gotcha I got a ps2 with Lego Star wars if that helps

17.

Clothing - Rat, 35 O 58 miles away My name is Ray and I can't change it SHARE RAT'S PROFILE SEE WHAT A FRIEND THINKS

Submitted by:

Construction Work Sounds Exactly Like T-Rex


I guess we don't really know what dinosaurs actually sound like, so the sound designers of Jurassic Park had to get creative, but it is weird that it sounds this close to some guy with a power tool.

Submitted by: (via LewisHoodMusic)

Absolutely Terrible Product Placement In TV Show


It's honestly a mystery for what they were possibly thinking. The product placement could not have been any more clunky. 

Submitted by: (via GangstaLawrenceWelk)

Karens But With Zombie Noises


Every now and again the internet drops the kind of video that is an instant timeless treasure. This, right here, folks, is gold. Pure gold. We've got a series of enraged Karens edited in the middle of their freakouts, to sound like literal zombies. It's genius. 

Submitted by: (via Neverthink)

Old Lady Gets Zero Sympathy, Call Center Employee Saves The Day


Oh man, buckle right on up for a feels trip. This sweet old lady never met a mean and inconsiderate call center manager's attitude with anything but patience and understanding. It's amazing how, considering what she was going through with the love of her life. Fortunately, there was a particular call center employee on hand that prioritized helping make this lady's request come true, to just shine a little bit of light on the darkness of the situation. Beautiful stuff, really. 

1.

Text - r/talesfromcallcenters + Join u/PrisBatty • 2y 1 3 1 Sweet old lady gets no sympathy. Not on my watch! L I was thinking of making a throwaway for this but screw it. Plus, am on a mobile, sorry. I used to work in a call centre for a famous luxury travel company. All of our training was about drilling into us how we had to bend over backwards for the customer. We were told that customers were paying for the experience and that included us in the call centre. If they wanted to know the exact

2.

Text - All fine and good. I'm up for that. It all sounds nice and civil. Then we go up onto the floor and answering the phones and shit gets real. Turns out our line managers quickly let us know that our job was to answer the phone and get shot of the caller ASAP. If the caller wasn't buying a holiday from us we were to get rid of them even faster. People with legitimate problems would call and they wouldn't lift a finger to help us find solutions. It was beyond frustrating. I actually had my li

3.

Text - Mrs H phones and asks if she can postpone her holiday for one year. Her husband has just been diagnosed with bone cancer. He's going to get treatment and so they can't go, but she wants to book the holiday for next year as something to look forward to. I open up her information and find that it's a few days into the period of time that cancellations can't be made without us taking a bunch of money off them. In this case over $10,000. I can't cancel it without a code being entered, which o

4.

Text - I go back to lovely Mrs H and tell her (making sure she knew it was my line manager being an asshole and not me) that she had to claim it on her insurance. Mrs H thanks me and goes away. Next day Mrs H calls and asks to be put through to me. She says her insurance won't cover it because even though her husband didn't know he had bone cancer when they booked the holiday, they said it was a pre existing condition for it to be so bad now. I go back to line manager to beg again for her to inp

5.

Text - So I concoct a plan. I go back to lovely Mrs H and I say: 'Listen Mrs H. I can look pretty cute when I make an effort. If you can phone back when my line manager is in a meeting or on a break, I can go over and ask another line manager who's got a bit of an eye for me and doesn't know about your case and hopefully get him to input his code. Mrs H is very grateful. She phones up the next day and I whisper: Not yet Mrs H, my line manager is here. Mrs H phones up the next day and I whisper,

6.

Text - Finally after a few days of this, Mrs H phones up, she's been an absolute sweetie every call, and my line manager happens to be in a meeting. So I say, let's go for it Mrs H. I pretty myself up a bit. 'I'm putting my lipstick on now Mrs H. And I walk over to the male line manager on the next team and I say 'Ohh you have to help, I've just booked a holiday for a customer but I got the dates wrong and I meant to book it for next year and it's within the final 90 days so can you input your c

7.

Text - Male line manager (who is a nice guy) comes over and I stand holding the computer monitor, hopefully not suspiciously, in a way that blocks him from seeing the date it was purchased. And he inputs the code, laughing at me for being a bit dizzy and getting the year wrong. Then goes back to his team. I did it! Cue me back on the phone whispering: 'The Eagle has landed Mrs H! We've done it!' Mrs H was over the moon. I get her all booked in for the following year and send her on her way with

8.

Text - Next day there's a lovely card mailed into the call centre for me with a big thank you and an invitation to come to their house any time l'm in their part of the country. In fact, we've exchanged Christmas cards ever since. I hated that damn job and l'm well out of it now, but I like to think that the daily hell of it was all worth it, just to be able to make a difference to sweet Mrs H. 2.2k O 108 1 Share

Submitted by:

Confidence-Shattering Comebacks and Insults


In a sense, all roads lead to Yo Momma. The internet gives us all these possibilities for expression and enlightenment, but let's not kid ourselves that a big part of it is being able to absolutely slam someone with a highly precise rare insult from thousands of miles away. It's just kind of the way people are.

1.

Cheezburger Image 9541508864

2.

Cheezburger Image 9541509120

3.

Cheezburger Image 9541509376

4.

Cheezburger Image 9541509632

5.

Cheezburger Image 9541509888

6.

Cheezburger Image 9541510144

7.

Cheezburger Image 9541510400

8.

Cheezburger Image 9541510656

9.

Cheezburger Image 9541510912

10.

Cheezburger Image 9541511168

11.

Cheezburger Image 9541511424

12.

Cheezburger Image 9541511680

13.

Cheezburger Image 9541512960

14.

Cheezburger Image 9541511936

15.

Cheezburger Image 9541512192

16.

Cheezburger Image 9541512448

17.

Cheezburger Image 9541512704

Submitted by:

Cursed Foods from Lucifer's Larder


Food is one of the great experiences of life, and at the same time one of the most nauseating and off-putting. Experimentation is good, and some gross food combos are actually great. But sometimes people take it too far, and try to pass it off as a good idea. What it really is is cursed food created in the underworld's kitchen.

1.

Food - CLASSICS COOKIES ENJOY BY OCT 17 2020 AD 0617 44 2 19:39 4 SINCE 1936 HOMESTYLE Archway CLASSICS BAR S. NO MSG NO AN IO YLAVORS GLUTEN FR - soft- Oatmeal CO OK IES THICK BOLOGNA llent Source of MADE WITH CHICKEN, PORKADDED Kraft Singes Amecan NET WT 9.5 OZ (2699) IUSTERIZED PR SE P COFFE FOR A eber Kraft TER FOR A ANCE TO WI espuesso FOWUE

2.

Food - CROUTONS OF THE SKY JUNE 24, 2015 O So I'm making it my personal mission to educate my friends on how delicious June Bugs are. This is a one time a year, pretty frickin ethical (end of their 3 year life cycle) and definitely unique chance to harvest natures bounty. The taste is smoky and complex, and paired perfectly with the ceasar salad. Check my music>> https://ift.tt/2QyzBKn

3.

Food - My friends mum got some bacon out of the freezer, from 14 years ago! STIRCHLEY BACON COMANY LTD RIRCHALL STREEL DIGBETH, BIRMINGHAM ORA PREMIUM RASHE S MIDDLE BACON INGREDIENTS: PORK, SAL WATER PRESERVATIVES, E250, E252, ANTIOXIDAN 301 B1OSP USE BY: APRIL 2006.WEICHT 200g Kg e PACK PRICE 037359 "o 0 0 2 8 8 KEEP FROZEN V1153

4.

Cuisine

5.

Dish - ll Verizon ? 2:29 PM 71% er ana 2 others. Yesterday at 7:49 PM O I think I may have outdone myself tonight! Frozen pizza with macaroni on top. Macaroni pizza.

6.

Dish - Deviled eggs topped with tuna

7.

Dish - Vegan & geunan kecipes for Beginners 20m · R Watermelon pizza the green stuff that your see is gucumole Y SMOOTH WRAITING

8.

Fried egg

9.

Aluminium foil - Everyday my roommate produces a fresh batch of bacon grease and then leaves it in a small bowl, as seen above. It sits on my counter for about a month, accumulating in the process. So this would be a huge win win for the both of us if you could take this off my hands. Key Facts: Aged 10-30 days Schneider's Original Good for all things baking

10.

Cuisine - Enchiladas made out of deli cold cuts instead of tortilla barbaraderegil o ... barbaraderegil e barbaraderegil e .... barbaraderegil o ... ENCHILADAS LIGHT Paso 5

11.

Dish

12.

Food - Ranch Tomato Aspic

13.

Food

14.

Rock - Jellied Moose Nose

15.

Terrestrial animal - RECIPE FOR BLACK CHICKEN 1. Wash chicken 2. Add spices and herbs to taste 3. Put into pre-heated oven 4. Go on Facebook.

16.

Dish - SPAGHETTI WITH MEAT SAUCE TROPICAL

17.

Food

18.

Food

19.

Food - 40 mins. Pasta shells filled with my favourite things for supper. Peanut butter,cheese spread with chives,paprika cheese spread,chicken paste,red pepper hummus and tomato ketchup.

20.

Food

Submitted by: