Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Human Trash Heap Alex Jones Can Eats Lunch Without a Shirt On, And No, This is Not a False Flag Attack


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Infowars founder Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist who says Sandy Hook was a hoax and that "they" are putting chemicals in the water that is turning frogs gay, is the human embodiment of a dog taking a shit. 

And to make matters worse, he eats lunch without a shirt on. See:

Man, the Fonz really let himself go. 

Luckily, there are still some people in this country who are around a speak up for injustice when they see it. Here's how Twitter responded to a walking, talking rotten tomato eating lunch without a shirt on. 

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Doubts Over Garfield's Gender Ends Up Igniting Extremely Passionate Twitter War


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Internet satirist and podcast host Virgil Texas instigated an outrageous Wikipedia-editing war over Garfield's gender that even ended up evolving into a full-on Washington Post investigation. The warring wasn't exclusive to Wikipedia though, many loyal fans and people that like to argue for the sole sake of stirring the pot, have since stepped forward to offer their opinions on the lasagna-lover's mystery gender. 

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26 Mildly Spicy Memes to Round Out the Day


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These memes aren't the spiciest out there, but they do have a bit of a kick. The context and captioning of these memes earn them about a 2 or 3-star on the spicy scale. 

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15 Nurses Reveal the Craziest Sexual History Answers They've Come Across


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My heart goes out to the nurses of the world: as part of their profession they willingly (have to, really) delve deep into the dirty sexual secrets of many an active patient to ensure dudes aren't walking around with their dicks falling off or ladies aren't pissing fire---and really a whole wealth of other skin-crawling conditions we'd do just as well to not dwell on. Do any of your stories/answers to your nurse hold a candle to these 15 clearly tumultuous sexual histories?

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This Web Comic Series is Possibly the Most Disturbing Thing You Will See Today


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So yeah, this is a thing. One of those things that you come across online that makes you think, "That's enough internet for the day."

GreenTeaNeko's Moe Factory is a web comic series by an artist from Singapore that finely blends black humor, sadism, nudity and perversion into a strange concoction of debauchery.


It's almost hard to believe what you're seeing when you look at some of these. 

But anyways, umm... Enjoy.

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13-Year-Old Finds Something Spooky in Her Selfie and Is That a G-G-G-G-Ghost!?!


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Lots of weird things happen in pictures, like have you even noticed that phenomenon where people lips purse out to make them look like a duck whenever they take a picture. Who is that for?

But sometimes things even weirder than duck transformations happen. Sometimes people see ghosts. 

Like when Jessica Ogletree took her kids fishing and her daughter decided to take a selfie. What did they find in the picture? A ghost congratulating her son on the big-ass fish he caught. Way to go, Kolton.  


The comments are lighting up with theories as to what this acutally was and whether it was a spirit from beyond the grave! 

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33 of the Biggest Hypocrites Ever to Grace the Internet With Their Presence


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There are some people out there that just need to keep their mouths shut and these people are prime candidates. One thing's for sure, these people wrote the textbook on 'open mouth insert foot'.

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An Overalls-Sporting Bill Murray Shuts Down Pestilent Reporter Perfectly In Awesome Compilation of February's Best News Bloopers


I'll be the first to admit, 'you the real MVP' has quickly become one of the more painfully overused compliments thrown around.

In this fail-themed compilation of live news segments gone spectacularly wrong, Bill Murray is the shining beacon of unforgiving brilliance, the realest MVP, when he rains down sweet savagery on an irritating reporter during their interview. 

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20 Hilarious Headline and Editorial FAILs That Make Us Glad We Work on the Internet


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A the glories of printed news and entertainment. An industry on the slow decline towards its inevitable death, and some of these might just be part of the reason why. 

Don't get me wrong, I love printed physical copies of things. I maintain that books aren't the same on an e-reader as they are printed. That tangible feeling of flipping through pages is an important part of the experience. 

The same goes for video games. Before consoles were connected to the internet, games were the same as printed media in that they were a finished product. What you bought was what you got, glitches and all. There were no patches or anything or ways to update the game, like printed media, the game was just the way it was.

Anyways, I'm prattling like an old fart about things even before my time. Here are some hilarious editorial mistakes that I'm sure the publishers wish they could edit and take back. Which is why I'm glad I work on the internet. If I screw shit up I can just go back and fix it. 

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Comedian John Caparulo Fails to Keep Everyone Entertained, Gets Attacked By Angry Trump Supporter


A joke about Donald Trump proceeded to send one Donald Trump supporter over the edge into a blind fit of rage, where she went so far as to angrily chuck her glass at the comedian while he was still on stage. 

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Watch Gordon Ramsay Answer Questions on Twitter and Roast Things Other Than Chickens


If there's one thing Gordon Ramsay doesn't have time for, it's your bullshit. 

The star of shows like Kitchen Nightmare, MasterChef, and the undisputed best show on TV MasterChef Jr, Gordon is known for his temper. That's what makes this video — which bounces between his two talents, cooking and casually telling amateur cooks that they're stupid — such a winner. We get cooking, supportive Gordon, and piss off Gordon.

 

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Tinder Dude Fails to Maintain Any Chill, Turns Into Total Racist After Asian Girl Doesn't Respond Fast Enough


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Nick clearly failed to grasp the unspoken, yet assumed etiquette of navigating the crazy world of Tinder: don't rapid fire unanswered messages, don't be a cankerous dickhead of a douchecanoe to matches that 'just aren't feeling you', and don't be a racist. Fail to abide by those reasonable commandments, and you leave yourself vulnerable to being the next fella to fall prey to social media-driven condemnation on good 'ol venting outlets like Imgur and Facebook. 

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Charlie Sheen Goes Off the Walls Insane In NSFW Twitter Rant About Donald Trump


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Please Charlie, tell us how you really feel about DJ Trump. We're all dying to know. In all seriousness, wtf happened Mr. Sheen? Did you snort a few lines of bad booger-sugar with a side of bath salts for good insanity-inducing measure, before taking it away with these strange Trump Hate-Haikus? Whatever the creative lubricant that went into these rage-filled tweets, we can only hope we get more of these fine displays of ridiculousness.

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25 Awesome Memes to Turn Your Day Around


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Get your day going in the right direction and chase away anything you might be failing at with these awesome-soaked memes. 

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People Are Getting Snail Facials, Which Sounds About Right for 2017


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2017 hasn't been a great year, and it's probably not going to be getting any better. But you know, it's not so bad that people are getting snail facials, you know, allowing snails to drag their slime across your face to prevent aging.

Oh, wait, people are doing that? 

Cool.

Well, at least everyone is making fun of them. 


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Show Me The Money, Show Me the Video Store: Here's Your Look at the Jerry Maguire Video Store


Eight years in the making, the video collecting "Everything Is Terrible" has finished their pièce de résistance, the "Jerry Maguire Video Store" in Los Angeles, California. It's exactly what you think it is, too: A video store that only houses Jerry Maguire VHS tapes, and, boy, is it something. 

Now,you might think that this is stupid, but really, this is just phase one of a plan to make a pyramid in the desert that houses the world's largest collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes. So, is that stupid? 

Me to the Jerry Maguire Video Store:

via The Film Fatale

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45 Pictures With the Most Perfect Timing Imaginable


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Sometimes the stars align and everything just goes perfectly according to plan. Well, that's exactly what happened in these photos. These 45 photographic masterpieces are the complete opposite of FAIL. 

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Yes, Trump Practicing His Speech In His Car Is a Meme Now, Too


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It ain't easy to read off a teleprompter, especially when you're a reality-TV gameshow host at heart. They would never do that.

But before his speech to congress last night, he was just an everyman practicing in his limo. 

Luckily, we got a look at that and people started paying him a little lip service. Check it out:

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The Reviews Are In! This Tiny Phone Sold On Amazon Fits Snuggly In Your Butt and Is Perfect for Prison


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When you get arrested, you only get one phone call, but with this handy little guy, you can make as many as you need. 

Amazon is currently selling a "Beat The Boss 3in1" cellphone designed to do just that. With its compact design and rounded edges, you'll have no trouble at all shoving this thing where the sun don't shine and getting it behind bars. Yup, this is the perfect cellphone to cram into your ass and use in prison. 

Check out these specs:

Wow! The size of a finger! Sounds like this is just the phone you need to beat the boss. But don't take my word for it, check out what these satisfied customers thought:

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25 Psychological Tricks That Won't Fail to Give You the Upper Hand In Life


I'm all for the next bit of potentially credible, easily digestible video content that comes touting promises of life improvement. If a simple video compilation is the key to that mental chi, then shit, sign me up good sir. 

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Jimmy Kimmel Sets the Story Straight About What Happened At The Oscars Last Night


Everyone knows that the finale of the Oscars was pretty much a disaster, but still a pretty funny one, especially Warren Beatty's reaction to seeing the envelope and promptly throwing Faye Dunaway under the bus.

But why are you listening to me? Why not get the story from the host, Jimmy Kimmel.  

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The Reviews Are In! This Tiny Phone Sold On Amazon Fits Snuggly In Your Butt and Is Perfect for Prison

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