FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 04/25/20

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Delusional Buyer in Need of Cheap Car Rejects $3K Civic

If you've ever tried to find an affordable, reliable car for cheap then you know just how stupid this interaction is. Depending on where you live, a good Civic for 3,000 is an angel's song wrapped in golden underwear. Hopefully for their sake, they'll never realize how dumb they've just been. There's just a too many entitled individuals out there with unreasonable demands.

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Text - 00:15 ul O l LTE 313 iMessage Yesterday 23:55 Hey this is Kierra Im friend with brad. He told me you have a cheap car for sale ? Good evening. Yes, I'm selling my 2006 Honda Civic. It's my third vehicle and I don't have much use for it anymore. Did he mention price? No he just said it was cheap how much

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Text - I'm sorry? Lol it means laugh out loud I think its funny you want 3000$ I could buy a bmw for that Right...well I can tell you with 100% certainty that the $3,000 BMW will not be nearly as reliable or cost-effective as my Civic. But fair enough, good luck with your search for a car

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Text - What color is it ? Huh? What color is the car It's white. Lol nah I hate white So just don't buy my car then?

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Text - Lol I won't good luck selling your pos Honda buddy Tell Brad to call me when he has a minute and go fuck yourself. Delivered

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Tagged: Sad , FAIL , buy , honda , civic , cars , lol , entitled , picky , dumb , cheap , stupid , bmw

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Twitter Thread: Wild Facts Left Out Of Tiger King

This Tiger King rabbit hole just keeps on going. It can't stop, won't stop. For anyone who is in the mood for some more Tiger King content after this list, check out some Tiger King memes over here.

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Text - Thread Robert Moor @robertmoor_ To anyone currently bingeing #tigerking on Netflix: I spent four years working on a podcast and a long magazine story about Joe and Carole. I spent a week living at the zoo. I've spoken with almost everyone you're seeing in the doc, and I attended the trial. Ask me anything! 1:23 PM · 3/21/20 · Twitter Web App 3,728 Retweets 13.4K Likes

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmo... · 3/21/20 v Replying to @robertmoor_ Here's the podcast: podcasts.apple.com/ us/podcast/joe... And here's the magazine story: nymag.com/intelligencer/... @wondery @NYMag The Modern Barnum and His Equally Extraordinary Nemesis nymag.com O 36 27316 ♡ 2,044

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Font - Robert Moor O v @robertmo... ·3/22/20 A few pieces of trivia, for people who just watched #TigerKing on Netflix. 1. Joe did not write or sing those country songs. It was an outfit called the Clinton Johnson Band. Joe just sang softly over the top of the vocal track: YouTube #StayHome What's A Man Got To Do The Clinton Johnson Band Get the YouTube: Watch, Listen, Stre...

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Face - Robert Moor O @robertmo... ·3/23/20 Replying to @robertmoor_ 5. Before Joe married John or Travis, he married another young (straight) guy named JC Hartpence. Hartpence later served time in prison for molesting a young girl, and is now serving life in prison for first degree murder. JEFFREY HARTPENCE O 22 27127 753

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Text - Robert Moor @robertmo... · 3/23/20 6. I said, "Joe, why is the case officer- on the case in which YOU are a suspect -calling you to tell you a reporter is asking questions about you?" Joe said, "Well, he's also my limo driver." (Which was true.) Anyway, this is where Brion Gordon ended up: X013 Former police chief found guilty of sexually assaulting intellectually dis...

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Text - Robert Moor O v @robertmo... ·3/23/20 7. One night in 2015 Joe & I were walking through Walmart when a portly, bespectacled young gay guy walked up, shook Joe's hand, & thanked Joe for being the only out-and-proud gay man for many miles when he was growing up. That kid was Josh Diall, who later ran Joe's campaign. Q 11 27 138 ♡ 1,553

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmo... ·3/23/20 ▼ 8. (Not really "trivia," but a useful piece of info for anyone discussing the show): Saff, the person who got mauled by the tiger, told me repeatedly that he is trans, prefers to be called Saff (not "Kelci"), and uses he/him pronouns. So please do likewise. O 46 271,725 O 6,124

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmo... · 3/24/20 v 9. For a long time, Joe told everyone he was dying from prostate & bone marrow cancer. He raised $$$ from his Facebook fans for his expenses. He showed me this horrifying photo as proof. I later learned he just had an infected prostate, dehydration, & a bad outbreak of herpes.

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmo... · 3/24/20 10. Some people are asking what that weird warehouse James Garretson was sitting in. That was a place he owned (owns?) called-wait for it-Tiger Liquidation. You can see it on Google Maps here: google.com/maps/uv?hl=Den&.. JAMES GARRETSON BUSINESSMAN He's like, and... and continue to be t I mean tiger ki ou're in a lot of fucking trouble." 2744 566

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmo... · 3/24/20 v 11. Two odd facts about Rick Kirkham: -Before meeting Joe, he made a film about his addiction to crack cocaine. m.imdb.com/title/tt049249.. -After the zoo fire, Rick moved to Dallas. Then HIS house mysteriously burned down, almost killing him. He fled to Norway, where he now lives. O'HORTEN 21 27 178 ♡ 1,364

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmo.. · 3/24/20 v 12. After Don Lewis vanished, but before Carole married Howard, she dated a guy named Jay Baykal. In 2002, Jay filed a restraining order against Carole, which includes some bizarre and suspicious-sounding details regarding Don's disappearance: bcrwatch.com/jay-baykals-or... to believe that he or she is SHE SAID TO ME ielow is a brief description of IE YOur HUSBAND DEAD BDDY AUSBAND'S AAUGHTEA WATCH wo GUNS JOADED y fear imminent domestic ous EAND AT H

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Text - Robert Moor O 13. It was announced back in November that the Joe Exotic: Tiger King podcast (from @WonderyMedia) will be made into a miniseries for Universal, starring Kate @robertmo... ·3/24/20 v McKinnon as Carole Baskin. No announcement yet on who will play Joe.

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmoor_· 6d 14. (John asked me to take down the photo of him and his new teeth, so I have. The original tweet read: ) I see a lot of people asking about John, Joe's ex-husband. He texted me a few months back to let me know he got a new job as a welder. And a whole new set of pearly whites! Q11 27 25 792

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Text - 4:58 Robert Moor @robertmoor_·5d 15. One day, a source sent me some messages that came from Joe's phone. Joe's contacts tended to be listed as, like, "James Tiger" or "Marc Police." I noticed one of the contacts was simply "Mike Hit." I called up the number. It turned out to be a guy named Psycho Mike. 1/3 pic.twitter.com/r3rhvlwCGT 04 2736 406 Robert Moor @robertmoor_·5d 15. He was a former hitman (or "bone collector") for a Mexican gang in Dallas. He'd since given that life up. Recently

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Text - 4:58 Robert Moor @robertmoor_·5d 15. We met at an Italian joint in Dallas and talked for a long time off the record. Then I turned on the recorder and asked him how much, in his experience, it should cost to take a hit out on someone. His answer surprised me. You can hear it here: soundcloud.com/user-378165397... 3/3 Psycho Mike User 378165397 SoundCloud 27 23 440 Robert Moor @robertmoor_·5d 16. Here's a detail l've never understood. In the doc, you hear Alan Glover say he never went to F

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmoor_·5d 17. To anyone who came away from #TigerKingNetflix thinking Joe was framed, please take a look at this secretly taped conversation between Joe and James, which was played at the trial. These are not the words of an innocent man! MALDONADO: Yeah, what I am doing is having him buy a go-phone down there and Jeff is buying a go-phone so they can communicate and then throw them away. And we are going to over-night his phone to Vegas and Jeff is gonna text pictures

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmoor_· 3d 18. When Jeff teamed up with Joe, one of their schemes was to buy the land next door and open a bisexual strip club/ petting zoo called "Tigers and Dreams." 1/2 95 2770 538 Robert Moor O @robertmoor_· 3d 18. Later, that plan changed into opening a drive-in movie theater. Jeff convinced a guy named Joe Barth to lend him some equipment to start construction, then Jeff went and sold the equipment. Barth filed a lawsuit. The next day Barth's house mysteriously b

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Product - Robert Moor @robertmoor_· 2d 19. Jeff Johnson used to be friends with Joe. Then they had a falling out, and Johnson started an online campaign to expose Joe and Jeff Lowe to be frauds. Lowe and Joe both threatened Johnson online. He didn't back down. Then Johnson's house mysteriously burned down. JEFF JOHNSON FORMER REPTILE DEALER BUD GHT O 29 2769 520

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmoor_ · 16h 20. People often ask why no one at Joe's zoo ever "spoke out." Part of the reason was because he made his employees sign a one million dollar non-disclosure agreement. (Which, it turns out, wasn't legally valid.) Here's a text he sent me at one point. Just so you know most everyone you have talked to from the zoo has 1 million dollar confidentiality contracts from the zoo . Carole is being sued for getting an employee to talk and break that. So when this c

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Text - Robert Moor @robertmoor_ · 16h 21. Look closely at the restraining order Don filled out against Carole: his signature doesn't match the one on the Power of Attorney, which handed control to Carole in the event of his disappearance. When I asked Carole abt this, she said: "He could barely read or write anyway." Aded to the court for consideration revocation. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have set my hand and November 1996 at Tampa, Florida. ondent to participate in a prograi for whatever behaviors

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmoor_ · 16h 22. I first discovered this story through a story in the LA Times that said "Michael Jackson's Alligators Burned Alive in Animal Park Fire." That was almost true. Turns out Joe did have an alligator from Neverland Ranch, but it survived the fire; its babies were burned alive.

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Text - @robertmo... · 3/31/20 23. This one's minor, but I find it funny. Remember how in the doc Joe says he was on the cover of "Hollywood Weekly" twice? That's one of those magazines where you can pay them to put you on Robert Moor the cover and write a nice article. Other issues feature such famed luminaries as... TENCES DEAZEL WASINGTON FEBRUARY 2015 ALGUSTWnSON Fashionistas Love The 74th FOR THE STARS FASHION HOUSE GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS GRAMMY'S Make A Hit!! Hollywood st Big Star! GLEN CAMPRE

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Text - Robert Moor O @robertmo... ·3/31/20 v 24. In 2014, Joe posted video claiming to show his computers being hacked by Carole. However, I found out that Carole didn't hack his computers. It was orchestrated by a weed-themed YouTuber named Natty G, who had a falling out with Joe. Listen: Natty G - User 378165397 soundcloud.com 19 27 17 282

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Tagged: crazy , twitter , tiger king , TV , social media , ridiculous , television

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Trees That Appeared To Eat Stuff

Trees just keep on growing, man. Sometimes they end up growing around other objects placed in their vicinity. This can result in it looking like trees are a bunch of hungry fellas, just trying to enjoy a meal. Fun stuff.

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Tagged: nature , cool , pictures , trees , awesome , ridiculous

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Katy Perry "Pranks" Museum Goers, Nobody Cares

Katy Perry thought she'd "prank" some unsuspecting museum goers. She probably didn't anticipate that so many folks wouldn't recognize her, and on top of that, that they wouldn't care.

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Tagged: Music , katy perry , FAIL , cringe , ridiculous , Video

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Quora User Learns That Ants Can Scream

Well, how about that for a trippy Quora rabbit hole. This Quora user asked people if ants could scream? She was convinced after "hearing" them while watering down her patio.

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Leaf - Susan Campbell, I scream at spiders! Answered Dec 5 Is it normal for ants to scream? Whenever I use water to get them off my patio I hear screeching.

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Text - Yes, you are hearing ants "screaming". This question intrigued me, so I did my usual –I researched it. Science News, Volume 157, No. 6, February 5, 2000, p. 92. had the following information: the squeak that people can sometimes detect, ....... comes from stridulation. This high-pitched rasping of one surface against another occurs frequently in animals, most famously among cicadas, katydids, and crickets but also catfish and, some scientists argue, sea horses. Ants stridulate with the hi

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Text - made up of segments, one of which bears a ridged patch. Its nearest neighbor sports a file-like rasping widget. The segments remind Ward of the nested tubes of a telescope. "Imagine the meeting edges scratching a bit as they move in and out," he says. Residents of the southwestern United States can hear stridulatory concerts by picking up red desert ants, suggests Ward. In the Northeast, the less common but hefty Myrmica species also squeak audibly when plucked up by a human hand.

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Text - Ants in four subfamilies stridulate, but others seem silent and don't have recognizable scraping surfaces, Ward notes. Entomologists argue about whether this pattern means stridulation evolved several times in ants or whether the Adam and Eve of ant ancestors rasped to each other but some descendants lost the ability.

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Face - Further investigation and I found a YouTube video. It is slightly over 3 minutes. Ants make some very weird sounds. Trust me!

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Tagged: nature , surprising , quora , ants , knowledge

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Mean Teacher Loses Students' Papers, Fails Half Of Class, Student Reports Her

This student deserves some high marks for their exceptional revenge. Plus, the vivid imagery used to describe this mean teacher really immerses the reader in the story, as it unfolds. It sounds like this teacher was pulling off some serious BS, and ultimately her antics resulted in her own downfall.