FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 12/19/20

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Entitled Customer Comes In After Close, Kicked Out By "Manager"

There's a type of customer that is never going to be happy. That type of customer has a habit of coming in during closing and being really unsure of what they want. They're just terrific people to be around. For another warm and loving person, here's a Karen who demanded a fellow customer's cart, but they didn't back down.

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Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance - Posted by u/luridfox 16 hours ago 5 2 2 3 7 At closing time I am still the manager oc M So I was 19 at the time and a shift supervisor at a local sub shop (Planet Sub). This was my first supervisory/managerial position and for how shy and generally insecure I was at the time, I am amazed I had the gall to do this. To be fair it had been a LONG day, and I had a second job that would give me more hours if I wanted. I was in charge of closing the store and I had had

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Text - Around 9:30 I answered the phone to a terse gentleman demanding to know when we close because he NEEDED to pick up sandwiches. I told him we shut the doors at 10, so he would have to be quick, and I offered to take his order over the phone so he could just pay when he gets here. He said he would have to look at the menu, and rudely asked how he would have any idea what he wanted without seeing the menu. I replied that I had no idea if it was his first or 5th time here. He scoffed, said he

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Text - At 10:15 an irritated voice called into the kitchen asking "is there anybody working here, I would like to place my order". I walked out, and behind the counter told him that we closed 15 minutes ago and the kitchen was shut down. "I called half an hour ago and I was told I could come get food still, that you were open," he stated. "That was me you spoke to, and at 9:30 (45, not 30 minutes ago to be precise), we were open and I informed you that we closed at 10. It is not 10:15, we are cl

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Text - At this moment folks, I had a moment of clarity, that I did not want to take this in the slightest, and I wanted to be a sarcastic and immature prick. I did not get paid enough for this, and I was fed up with the day. "One moment, I will get him" I said politely with a genuine smile. I then turned around, removed my hat and apron, hung them on a hood, and turning back to face him stated "Hi, I'm Jeff, I am the manager tonight." I heard cackles of laughter from the other employees in the b

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Tagged: customer service , horrible , wtf , annoying , customers , lol , service , story , funny , store

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Funny, Random and Shiny Tumblr Gems

Tumblr is a spindly, winding, trap-door-laden laden pathway of thoughts and musings that could make anyone think for a good long time about anything under the sun. Hilarious and totally random tumblr gems could encapsulate anything from complaints about gees to poems about how much people love their Roomba. It could be anything.

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Text - The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you're useful. rudolph the red-nosed reindeer as capitalist propaganda: discuss rudolph was already exactly as useful as the other reindeer. the moral is deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable 11 Kids, could you lighten up a little?

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Text - surprisedentistry i love dogs who are obsessed with licking people surprisedentistry "this human is pleasing to me. i have to put my tongue on it" advanced-procrastination Dogs treat us like we treat cool rocks surprisedentistry your relationship to rocks is apparently very different than mine

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Text - wodneswynn One of the characters in our D&D party is an orc named Brick. We've established that orcs get their names through tests of strength and that his name is Brick because it's the strongest thing he was able to break with his bare hands. By profession, Brick is a therapist. His ultimate ambition is to one day do therapy so good that he can change his name to Depression. naamahdarling I went into this expecting beautiful himbo and came out in love with Brick and crying over therapis

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Text - memewhore Follow i feel like we haven't fully internalized how cursed the iowa county map is 10:20 PM 2/4/20 Twitter Web Client chickenonabicycle Follow That's not a map that's an Excel spreadsheet. rantingandravenclaw Follow #god can someone gerrymander that a little #just for variety. #reblog #post.txt 22,924 notes A

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Text - trash-like-me Follow I'm still reeling over the fact when I went with my friend to a renaissance fair, there was a lady who was handing out samples. My friend took a bite of it and all I heard was "My lord that's soap"

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Organism - itseasytoremember someone help me find that image of 4 cats being held up in front of a brightly coloured background. the cats look calm being held but each have their own personality itseasytoremember nvm i found it

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Text - writing-prompt-s Your landlord is a vampire, so he offers you a deal. You can pay your rent in money... or in blood. hedgeworth Follow This is just the oh no rent's late how can I make it up to you porn trope but for goths.

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Text - the library haunter @SketchesbyBoze Arthur Conan Doyle: I have invented the greatest detective of all time Agatha Christie: hold my tea Doyle: ... why does this tea taste funny 9:40 AM · Oct 25, 2019 · Twitter Web App ladyvyola Follow This is even funnier if you know that Christie did not learn about poisons because she became a mystery writer, rather that she specifically became a writer of mysteries because she already had extensive knowledge of poisons due to her World War I training a

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Yellow - chat-chouage Follow the other day i started writing an office romance but i quickly remembered that i have no idea what working in an office is like ivan-fyodorovich Follow as opposed to your vast personal expertise in romance? chat-chouage Follow

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Text - falloutnewvegans-deactivated201 i love how scientists in fiction are always called "scientists". thats it. they wear a Labcoat Of +5 Science and +5 Medicine. They do not specialize in a tree of science, like Biology or Astrology. No. They are just Science Men ready to do Science. thefingerfuckingfemalefury "Do you understand what this could mean for science? It could mean real advances in the field of SCIENCE" sweetmeatdale Literature majors trying to figure out what everyone else does

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Text - rem-ir The Fahrenheit defenders have logged on rem-ir my defense of fahrenheit is that 69° is ideal weather in fahrenheit but dead people weather in celsius mollic-epipedon Great news everyone I have decided to endorse Fahrenheit 4,686 notes

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Atmosphere - The year is 2387. Earth is a'member of the Federation of Planets - but without Great Britain, which is still trying to leave the EU. copperbadge You know, this would explain why Picard, the most English person ever to walk aboard a starship, continues to claim he's French. dduane (snicker) Source: spikesjojo

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Text - sweaterwithpaintstains Follow 3 am is such a powerful time. there are people sleeping. there are people partying. there are people having a movie marathon. there are people crying. there are people loving. there are people dying. there are people living. toegther at 3 am. hugerez don't romanticize 3 am everyone should be in bed!!!! go to sleep bitch!!!! 313,233 notes

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Formal wear - hydro-homies Follow BRIGHTSIDE @Raelet how I, a millennial, filter spam calls: -if my phone rings, it's spam I answer for no one. madz-the-3rd Follow EXCEPT My mommy, 294,474 notes

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Text - rasec-wizzlbang: kenkit: rasec-wizzlbang: if an elf and a dwarf fucked, would it make a human? Going by older editions of D&D they made an awkward ugly thing called a Dwelf, which usually combined the worst aspects of both races personalities and physical construction. .. yeah, a human Source: rasec-wizzlbang 14,811 notes

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Face - onlytwitterpics Follow When you start an argument with bae to spice things up and he ends up leaving your ass can-oh-worm Follow Good for him rockn-roll-cat Follow good finally a version of this i can reblog 355,546 notes

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Text - @ origamityler-deactivated2016101 The best reddit thread l've ever seen was when someone asked if the gang from Always Sunny in Philadelphia could kill Darth Maul and almost all of the responses were over 4 paragraphs long experimental-sponge Best quote from that thread: "To give the gang a slight advantage, We'll assume that Darth Maul has not seen any of the films in the Home Alone franchise."

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Text - duendealexis Wasn't iCarly that guy with the wax wings that flew into the sun and fucking got rest because same sketchfilledpaper I just realized my phone corrected Icarus to iCarly because I type iCarly more than Icarus okay thanks pumpkinspicednp I thought this was just a god tier shitpost

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Boats and boating--Equipment and supplies - A yoi-shenanigans Here is a baby button quail on a spoon Here is a baby button quail falling off a spoon brainbugs-andreblogs BABY NO Source:ches-not-cheese 144,392 notes ...

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Dress shirt - 'Germs are not a real thing':Fox News host says he hasn't washed hands in 10 years Pete Hegseth denies existence of germs, saying: 'I can't see them, therefore they're not real' internetdumpsterfires His melee attacks inflict a poison damage

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Text - diplobrocus haldaisilme curseworm does mace work on birds curseworm if a heron is attacking me will mace be an effective deterrent curseworm time sensitive question please respond Source: curseworm 58,574 notes

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Fictional character - swan2swan Follow I was not prepared for Sheriff Snorlax overpoweredoriginalposter Follow this town ain't big enough for the one of me

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Text - schmergo Follow Isn't it suspicious that the sexiest man alive is always already a celebrity? I feel like they're really not plumbing the depths in their research. Like, imagine if you got the Sexiest Man Alive edition of People and your orthodontist was on the front cover and you were like, “Oh PHEW, I guess I'm not the only one who sees it." 4,903 notes

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Text - My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. Madigan does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf, trying to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog's. When I want something with my whole being, an

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Tagged: thoughts , tumblr , Memes , lol , ridiculous , funny , stupid , funny tumblr

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Man Expects Laptop To Be Fixed For Free

Absolutely beautiful. This tale of pure pro revenge should serve as its own kind of reminder that you just never screw with people that are in the tech support realm. If you do, you run the risk of complete and utter destruction. Or, just having your computer get decked out in a way you never would've approved of, with the added layer of not being able to do anything without the tech support wizard allowing it. Check out some more juicy pro revenge drama with this electric organ revenge that was years in the making.

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Blue - r/ProRevenge + Join u/rhunter1980• 10d 1 2 3 3 8 3 Hey, can you fix my daughters laptop for free? Multiple times... To long didnt read at bottom. I feel this a moral pro revenge but if mods and others dont agree please feel free to remove it. A bit of back story/personal beliefs: I'm willing to help my friends, but we all know someone who has or have themselves a friend who is the group mooch. The kind of person who knows you're getting together and just shows up nothing in hand and expec

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Text - My moocher friend isn't tech savy, like at all. He has zero respect for tech and constantly uses me as his go to man when stuff goes sideways, almost always his doing. This is from the olden days of Windows 8 being a fresh hot mess that was the next big thing everyone hated because it took the standard windows interface, beat it over the head with a bat, tossed the bloody corpse into a wood chipper, then proceeded to light the remaining slurry on fire with military grade napalm. (I hate w

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Text - He had recently bought a laptop for his daughter since she was starting to need it for school and he wanted a mobile pc to use when he felt like it, pretty sure he just wanted it for himself but needed to convince the wife to ok the expense. Instead of asking me for input, he decide he was just going to go to big blue multi story and by cheapest laptop model that rhymes with hell. It took less then a day of him fighting with it to call me ask if l'd put windows 7 on it because he hated wi

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Text - I agree and he drops it off within an hour. I should note that this happened just after windows 8 dropped and there was no classic shell programs out that simply said "Fuck off new piece of shit tablet design we're using the old one everyone knows and can use", so my options were limited. Did an initial look at what I was getting myself into and lucky me, Hell had only put out drivers for windows 8 for this model. Yay! I do about 6 hours worth of hunting/downloading/tweaking drivers, and

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Text - SHOCKING,I know... I just restore from the disk made and give it back same day. Let's see how long this lasts... Almost a week later, same thing... Again a quick restore and I give it back.

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Text - This time it took almost a whole 3 weeks till I got a text... Now l'm pissed, what the hell is he doing to this thing to fuck up the operating system. I finally took the time to look at the system and see wtf was going on. He had a bunch of cracked games downloaded and was trying to run those, a bunch of virus/malware on it, oh and a bunch of shady porn sites in his browser history. I'm livid, the only reason I kept fixing this damn thing was because it was supposed to be his daughter's.

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Text - My first step to fixing things my way was to make an admin account that only I had the info for and limit the other account to a limited user. When I talked to his wife I got a good idea of what his daughter really like as far as shows, games, etc. I then proceed to pimp this laptop out for a 10yr old girl. My little pony wallpapers (about 100 on rotate), the entire my little pony cartoon show stored directly on the computer, bratz, barbie, the works. I even redid the icons to a my little

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Text - I personally delivered the laptop this time when the wife and daughter were home, the girly high pitched squeals of joy that nearly ruptured my ear drums made it all worth it. She went off on a joy induced tirade as I show her and her mom everything I did. Including all the shows and games I put on just for her. I then gave her a bright pink thumb drive with purple lanyard and explained that when she wanted to play the games or save anything the drive needed to be plugged in, I set the sa

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Text - I knew it was only a matter of time till I got an angry text/call from my friend as soon as he got a chance to use the laptop I was waiting with gleeful anticipation. I had dropped the laptop off on Monday and I knew he wouldn't get a chance to use it till Friday when he got back from a trip he took. Cut to Friday night and I get a call around 8pm, which I ignore and let go to voicemail. I get 3 more calls every 5-10 minutes which I also ignore. Then I get a bunch of texts which I ignored

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Text - Mooch: What's up?!?! This piece of shit laptop is busted that's what's up! I cant get anything to work right. I downloaded a game and tried installing it but it says I dont have admin rights. I restarted it and the game files were gone completely so I redownload it it but still couldn't install it. It's not even letting me browse the web! I thought you fixed this. WHAT THE HELL!!! Me: Calm down, I'm sure it's something simple. Let me remote in. Mooch: Wait you can do that?

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Text - Me: Yeah, I got sick of having to have it dropped off so I installed remote software. Let's see... first thing I do is remotely restart the system. Mooch: IT DID IT AGAIN!!! Me: What? Mooch: The game I downloaded is gone from the desktop! Me: Oh yeah, put software on the laptop that restores it to a default setting, anything not saved on an external drive gets removed. I gave your wife and daughter a thumb drive. Didn't they tell you it was needed? Mooch: No! What the hell! Why'd you do a

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Text - Me: Well I've had to fix this thing 3 times already and I got sick of it so I made sure anything you downloaded or tried to install would be deleted and blocked. You dont have admin rights, I do. Last time there was over a dozen viruses/malware from your games and the games you were trying to run would barely run on this laptop even if you had legit versions. Mooch: WHAT THE FUCK!!! insert 15 minute rant I didnt pay any attention to because I dont care Well why won't it let me browse the

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Text - Me: Yeah, I thought so. See, me being the upstanding guy I am, I turned on parental controls to keep web browsing safe for your 10yr old daughter. The fuck is wrong with you?!? Mooch: But... Me: No, no buts. It took a lot of work to get this thing working for your daughter's sake and then you use it as your personal play toy which I had to fix 3 times. I'm done with your bullshit, I made it so your daughter can use HER laptop when and how she needs, if you want to get your own laptop and

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Text - Mooch: No... Me: Have a great weekend! click Having spent over 18 years in customer servive/Tech support so I went a bit nuclear on him but I had had enough of his shit. Reminded me of all to many times the problem isn't the hardware/software, it's the meat puppet smashing their face against the keyboard and wondering why stuff doesn't work. So I simply removed that part of the equation. Amazingly enough he didn't have anymore issues with that laptop. Wonder why? Only time I was gotten ah

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Text - To long didnt read: Friend uses me as personal tech monkey for his daughter's laptop he keeps breaking doing shady stuff on. So I pimp it out in girly shows/ games/themes and completely lock it down so he cant change anything with out me doing it. He bitches me out and I proceed to drop a bomb on him.

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Tagged: FAIL , revenge , satsifying , ridiculous , Reddit

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Concrete Worker Battles Corrupt Manager Following His Own Instructions

Having an incompetent boss is one thing, but having a corrupt one who orders you to do their dirty work is another. This worker knew his manager was doing some monkey business, so he went out of his way to undermine it. For more workplace battles, here's an employee who derailed an incompetent boss by working their scheduled hours.

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Text - O r/MaliciousCompliance - Posted by u/ExcelCrazy 21 hours ago 2 13 e14 3 20 8 12 2 25 Corrupt manager wants me to reject crucial supplies - I do as instructed oc L About a couple of decades ago, I used to work at a concrete production plant for a reputable construction company. Our company, like several other construction companies, were awarded a portion of a larger project. A large portion of land was earmarked for setting up temporary office buildings and concrete plants for the differ

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Text - As many of you may (or not) know, concrete is produced my mixing cement, water, sand and stone grits (size 20mm + 10mm) along with special admixtures in a specific ratio. Our recipe also contained a special ingredient - stone dust. Turns out, only our company used stone dust in our concrete and the neighbors did not. So a special truckload full of stone dust was specially shipped for us. This is important later. My job entailed orchestrating concrete delivery to our project sites apart fr

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Text - Since my job entailed checking incoming material before accepting, the suppliers would usually try to offer some petty bribes, from cash to booze to flesh - if you know what I mean O I always declined such offers as once accepted, you became their dog and lose all respect in their eyes. Moreover, bad material also impacted the quality of concrete produced: strength, consistency and setting time, to name a few. Since concrete delivery was also part of my job, it was in my best interest to

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Text - One night, a supplier truck entered the premises with 20mm stone chips. Upon testing, I found them to be undersized for 20mm and oversized for 10mm. I went ahead and rejected the load. The driver and supplier started pestering me, offering bribes and what not. When I didn't budge, they called my boss who asked me what was going on. I explained that the quality of material was unacceptable and I have rejected this. When I mentioned it is too small for 20mm, he ordered me to dump it in 10mm

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Text - A couple of weeks pass by and my boss asked me to reject "a truckload" of material from a very reliable supplier. He knew that the supplier was only delivering stone dust that day and should we reject material, the entire load would be a waste and a loss to the supplier. Once the stone chips or stone dust has left the quarry, they, for some reason, can't bring it back. Hence my boss wanted to hit the supplier where it hurt most. Especially stone dust as there was no other company that wou

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Text - Cue - malicious compliance. I called the supplier, who had become a friend by now and told him that I was under orders to reject "a truck". He panicked and told me that my boss was putting pressure on him for bribes. This particular supplier believed in providing quality material and always visited my lab to understand how I tested the material and what my requirements were. He would then go back to his quarry and adjust the equipment to deliver the best quality materials. Because he put

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Text - I asked the supplier friend to route a truckload of 20mm stone chips meant of some other company to my plant first. I would let the gate security log the trucks' entry and then promptly reject the material. He was then supposed to send the stone dust which I would accept and be done with my "task." Everything happened as planned, I completed my remaining activities for the night and went home. When I came back to work in the evening, my boss was waiting for me at the door. As expected, he

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Text - He very casually asked me if I had rejected a truckload. I acted dumb and answered in affirmation. I told him that the very first truck, a 20mm was rejected. Now usually 20mm is never rejected, especially from this supplier, so he asked me what reason did I give while rejecting the truckload. I said flakiness index - a test we never do as a field test, but is mandated by the client to be done once a quarter. He knew that I was playing him but he couldn't do anything. I had done exactly wh

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Tagged: drama , work , concrete , lol , nice , story , truck , funny , win

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Dad Embarrasses Daughter At Car Wash

Dad's just too clever for his own good. We get the feeling that this is the kind of dad who gets a whole lot of enjoyment out of dispensing a steady procession of dad jokes that are dangerously dadly.

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Tagged: parenting , dad , prank , ridiculous , funny , Video

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Stupid and Clever Dad Jokes to Love and Hate

Sure, complex humor is probably better for your brain, but sometimes life calls for a motherload of devastating dad jokes to sweep in and get puns everywhere. They may very well be stupid and tacky, but they're the dangerously dadly dad jokes we know and tolerate. Some may be painful, but they are always sort of rewarding.