This week's boldest pickup lines: the wins, the fails, & the straight up confusing (November 4, 2022)

Watching other people's pickup lines will never stop being entertaining. Whether it feels too ridiculous to be true or too relatable it hurts, you just can't keep your eyes from reading and your fingers from scrolling. This week, we've got some instant classics for you, including a wildly clever pickup line involving a wood chipper and weird miscommunication that got aggressive really quickly. Keep scrolling below to have a look for yourself! For more adventures from the wild world of online dating, check out these highlights. 

30 Ridiculous design FAILs from people who lacked proper judgement

We always point to the invention of the lightbulb as the penultimate moment of creation, greater maybe than the creation of man itself; but instead of a bearded dude elegantly touching fingertips with a ripped naked bloke, this creation involved another (less bearded) dude sitting in his basement, touching himself, and smashing wires together. 

By all accounts, Thomas Edison was a total a-hole (AITA for screwing over my rival Nikola Tesla?) —but despite the misbehavior of its inventor, nothing has stopped the lightbulb itself from becoming the icon of innovation —we literally use it to signify when someone has an idea.

But that leads one to think… Surely we must have invented something in the span of human existence that outranks the lightbulb in importance. What about the wheel? What about penicillin? I won't rest until we change the culture enough so that everyone recognizes the meaning when a little bottle of antibiotics suddenly appears over a character's dome —whilst they shout an exclamation once uttered by a man floundering in an overfilled bathtub.

As amazing as the lightbulb might have been, there were some inventions that were not so great. These are those creations.

For more, check this collection next.

'Sir, I sent those requests to you two weeks ago': Commander demands every expenditure passes through his approval, subordinates oblige

Nothing receives a coordinated response quite like an overly-stupid directive, especially when that directive is passed by a superior who everyone already intensely dislikes. Usually, there has been a long road of headaches caused by micromanagement before the subordinates reach this point —so the superior has it coming. 

When you're in charge, it's important to be specific, fair, and rational with your commands, especially in the military — where following orders is incredibly important and drilled into soldiers from the moment they set foot in boot camp. These enlisted men will take any chance presented to maliciously comply with the vague orders of a malevolent commander, and there has been no shortage of stories online proving this.

So, when this micromanaging commander demanded that every expenditure pass across his desk, his subordinates were happy to oblige his command to the letter. It wouldn't take long before this would (predictably) blow up in his face. 

Keep reading for the screenshots. For more, check out this Sergeant Major who ruined a VIP event with their stupid demands.

'As soon as he unmutes I yell that he's a liar': Woman realizes her BF is covering for his cheating friend so she tells the truth

Would you cover for your friend if they were cheating? This woman's boyfriend certainly tried to cover for his cheating friend…that is, until she found out about it. She posted her story to this thread on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, and let's just say that the people in the comments section were quick to tell this woman to get out of her own relationship.

 

The mentality there is that if he's willing to cover for a cheater, then he very well may be a cheater himself. Rather than preach to the choir here, I have to interject to say that this perspective feels a bit far-fetched. There are people on Reddit who will tell you to RUN from your relationship the second your partner uses your toothbrush. I definitely think the original poster and her boyfriend need to have a long private discussion about their friend's infidelity and where their individual and collective loyalties lie. But have the discussion before you up and leave!

 

Keep scrolling below for the full story. For more relationship drama, check out this post about a guy who tried to sleep with his wife's best friend. 

'I was so flabbergasted that I blankly nodded': Boss wants worker to be available while at home without on-call pay or extra compensation

This worker received a request from their boss that they remain available and respond to texts and emails while off duty, asking that they do this "as a favor" and without further compensation. This has sparked discussion in a popular online community around the ethical and legal issues with the request and the precedence it sets.