FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 10/17/20

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Dry Ice Loophole Makes Mockery of Robotics Competition

There's no solution more compelling than those lazy "it's not stupid if it works" moments, even if they're technically against the rules. A low budget or DIY solution might make a judge mad, but you can't say that your solution wasn't effective. For another story of a stroke of lazy genius, here's a guy who needed a permit to build a garage so he just bought a van.

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Text - What is the funniest loophole you have ever seen? Kevin Yue, studied at Massachusetts Institute of Technology When I was in school, they held a robotics competition. It was pretty simple, conceptually. You had to make a firefighting robot. It would have to navigate a maze, find a candle and put it out (fully automated, no remote control). I can't remember the exact size but I think the robot had to be smaller than 1 foot in length, width, and height. Scoring was as follows. You start with

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Text - • Could separate into parts to search rooms in parallel • Operated on very little code (there were a few benchmarks for this) I entered a block of dry ice: It basically just had a spring-powered hammer to shatter it into little pieces when the start timer went (so that it would evaporate faster)

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Text - In seconds the entire maze was filled with a white fog and the candle was definitely out. I had the fastest time by a landslide even before you counted my deductions: • Didn't use a fan? Check • Search every room? Check. • Separate into parts to put out fires in parallel? Check I think I could've been the only person in history to ever win a robotics competition without writing a single line of code or soldering a single wire. But alas, the judges disqualified me by unanimous vote. WHY AR

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Tagged: competition , dry ice , loophole , robots , lol , amazing , story , funny , stupid , win

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Random, Hilarious, And Outright Discouraging Fails

We can all become so caught up in our daily lives and just trying to muddle through existence without making a mess of everything, that we forget that there are other people out there failing hard. Like so hard that all the rest of us can do is scratch our heads, and wonder how they've made it this far. Sometimes our brains take a recess, and dumb stuff happens.

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Text - Grundy County Sheriff's Office 2 hrs • O Just a word of advice- If You Are Going to Make a Fake ID- leave your girlfriend out of the photo... #SeriouslyDude.. #WorstFakelDEver MISSISSIPPI CENTICATION EXRATION 7-12-2009 DA TH DATE SEX 205-3504 1977 180M CLASS ESTR ENOORSEMENTS 5-09 C JOSE PACHECO 3535 HWY 80 E PEARL MS 37208

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Hemp oil - I'm not particularly proud of this but I feel like I need to tell everyone.. you see that tiny pickle in the upper left hand side? I spent a good; 30 seconds trying to fish that dude out before I realized, that pickle is actually my pinky underneath the jar.

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Dish - |Ingredients 1/2 cup rice 1/2 cup water 1I milk 1/4 cup sugar 1 tsp vanilla essence RATING: REVIEWER: I was wanting to use up some full cream milk, bought by mistake instead of light milk. and came across this recipe. Have just cooked it and the rice is so beautiful and creamyI only added 1/3 cup of sugar as my husband doesn't like things too sweet. and it's perfect for us. Thank you very much DATE: 01-06-2015 19:1350

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Text - Halloween 2019 My Superman & his Supergirl! Ter-Lee Comedy @terryleeborror You didn't think this couples costume completely through, because Supergirl is Superman's cousin.

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Pink - 2,5m B/iro-USB cahl Smartphone Tablet Tamera Computer USB micro-USB ia de datos

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Gadget - Pretty sure my mom thinks she's charging it

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Text - IF YOUR S OCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WAS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU HAD... HOW RICH WOULD YOU BE??? fonzworthcutlass $34,523,2674 gochellzgo 93,780,9632 boystop 585,214,172 sualified Hold up....

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Drink - BREWED ICED TEA RESH BREWED ICED Unsweat Sweat EET infused with VITAMINS CB3: 85 Bo:81 dnfoted with NC:B3 : BS: B6: B12

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Food - When u wanna eat this but u Kant kuz u Lack toast and tall or rent

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Food - Butcher Shop Hand Crafted Sausage Pork Gummy Bear 499 Hand Crafted Lb.

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Text - wait t I think I by accident took ur phone w me Lol what? uk how I took it out of ur hand I think I still have it im searching my bag hold on Jenn yes? I'm texting you wait... omg. im so dumb I cant

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Text - Proud Mommy moment! She used the correct use of "their" and she's only in 2nd grade!! I know 30 yr olds that can't do that! Haha çan. I do what their doing

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Font - Patrick T Shep Follow @PatrickTShep Exchange I'm currently having with my landlord. The hot water is broken 20:16 How? Can you send me some photos? 20:17 MMS It looks like this but it's not hot. 20:18

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Text - < Messages Kenny Details Messages Kenny Details LImao moLT OF LWO yet anyway Here How the do they work You ever had a cereal bar Mines won't break up or that Yes when I was 12 And it's just big chunks of you do it with hands Delivered Lmfao! Get to It was pish lol You're having me on Come again lad You didn't actually stick a cereal bar in a bowl of milk am not How the do they work having it hahahaha Mines won't break up or that Delivered And it's just big chunks of you Why else would it

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Food - Pretty Boy Share Fol Just made some synonym rolls . 6 Reply t3 Retweet * Favorite 9 Storify . More

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Text - (i) Are you still selling the 30 inch TV No, sorry. I sold it a few days ago How about $200 I already sold it. Sorry $250 I literally do not have it Then don't waste my time

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Food - + Add Friend 18 hrs Just made chicken mediurm rare chicken strips. They're so good can't believe ive neever tried it like this before. Can't wait to dig into this with my homemade salad and veges. #healthy #newyearsresolution #clean #cleaneating

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Text - Oelnde S Caron Ment Nede Seslele R KJAP Ma 6 Poscingh Newar'k Aye A378 uS An Therstey S02 Thudi Huwmn S Tnbo F Cenhntiy Here is the schedule hey, i think you have the wrong number Then what is your number because I have the 5 that is my number Read 11:36 AM Ok then why did you say I have the wrong number because i'm not...the person you're trying to text Delivered

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Coffee cup sleeve - cark Co I said my name was Marc with a "...

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Tagged: FAIL , ridiculous , dumb , funny

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Tumblr Thread: Kudzu Is A Scary Monster Plant

Ah yes, leave it to the brilliant minds of Tumblr to take us down a rabbit hole about how plants can genuinely wage war against the rest of the world. In this case, we're talking about the kudzu. The kudzu plants would fit right into a horror novel. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread about the still-on submarines.

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Text - inconsequential S linesofreturninggeese Follow just-shower-thoughts Follow Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend, here hold him." mojave-wasteland-official "Friend" Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory. theun--sj Follow Plants don't wage war

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Text - mojave-wasteland-official Ever heard of blackberries? Yes, plants do wage war kasaron Follow Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. systlin Follow I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago. It's currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

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Text - Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries. And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint. moirakatson Follow This post did not go where I expected it to. S deathbeforednf Follow Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursin

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Text - 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later. Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there. norseminuteman Follow Yall mother don't even talk unless you've had to

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Text - Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. E breadgunner Can second the comments of Kudzu. I forget where I read it but there's this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that's in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant's seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a scorched earth policy. It's even more badass than plants that use toxin

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Nature - See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu. e zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare They smother every other living plant to death

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Natural landscape - Those trees under there are dead, they can't get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It's creepy as hell. These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist's wet dream tbh.

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Vegetation - The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.

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Vegetation - WINEY Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale It's an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to

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Text - spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine.. for now. e zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is on time magazine's top 10 invasive species to look out for.

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Goat - This little buddy doing his part UNCOTV zachsanomaiy Follow Not to keep spamming this post but

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Leaf - Iadestatian of Kutru in dhe linited States "the growth of kudzu as it became a "structural parasite" of the South, [7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as "the vine that ate the South".[13]" "It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., "easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually". [21" yall it's been estimated this plant consumes

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Text - 600 kilometers of the united states every year it's been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away nixieseal Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots.. Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it. Eat it before it eats

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Text - 3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat Follow In this world it's eat or be eaten gamebird Follow Thread starts with the existential angst of building a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu. Posts that make you go 'hm? Source: just-shower-thoughts 221,327 notes

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Tagged: nature , tumblr , creepy , ridiculous , funny tumblr

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Bill Nye Pokes Fun At Neil deGrasse Tyson's Reply

Fair to say that Neil deGrasse Tyson wasn't ready for Bill Nye to come in there and tease his lengthy rant about how consciousness doesn't exist.

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Tagged: bill nye , smart , roast , Neil deGrasse Tyson

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Customer's Translation Fail Results In Begging Bartender For Nothing

Translation fails inspire all kinds of hilarious confusion between two perfectly rational human beings. In this case, we have a customer unknowingly repeatedly pleading for nothing at all. If you're the bartender on the other side of that mishap, do you let the oblivious stupidity persist, or do you correct the translation fail as soon as possible? Could be a tough call if you end up wanting to have some fun with it.

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Text - r/tifu + Join u/pzych_ • 2d TIFU by begging a bar tender for nothing M So this story happened about a year ago, and requires some cultural context. In Ireland, there's been a recent resurgence in the Irish language, and a lot of movement to promote Irish speaking throughout the countries. This resulted in an Irish speaking bar being opened in Dublin. I didn't grow up in Ireland, so I don't speak a word of Irish- but my best friend was begging me to go with her to this bar. I relented, but

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Text - So we get to the bar, and she tells me when it's our turn to speak to the bouncer, just say "dia dhuit", which means hello, and she'll chat away to distract him. Our plan goes off without a hitch, and we're in! I turn, ready to ask my friend to order me a drink, to find her lost in the eyes of a boy she'd met a few nights previously. Not wanting to get in her way, I just gently shook her shoulder, and we have a conversation as follows. Me: "Hey, how do I ask for an Orchard Thieves in Iris

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Text - I nod and leave her to it, and make my way determinedly to the bar. The bar man comes over and says something in Irish I can't understand, so I panic, and just shout out my order. "Le do thoil!" The barman returns a blank look. I take this as him not having understood me, and decide I need to be more clear. "LE. DO. THOIL." The bar man cocks his head, and says something that I again, don't understand. Now fully panicking, I decide to just keep repeating myself in different inflections unt

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Text - "Jesus Christ girl just speak English. What do you want?!" "Just an Orchard Thieves!" The bar man walks away, muttering, "Why didn't you just say so?" Embarrassed my friend had put me in this position, I marched up to her and yanked her off the boy who she'd been chatting up. "What did you tell me to say?" I demand. "Huh? I told you how to say Orchard Thieves please?" "Yeah well, clearly the way you say it is wrong, because the barman had no idea what I was saying."

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Text - My friend looks at me suspiciously. "Pzych, what did you say, exactly?" "I said le do thoil. And I said it a bunch of ways as wellI, so there's no way I got the pronunciation wrong." "Wait," my friend responds. "You said JUST le do thoil?" "Yeah!" I replied, indignant. "That's what you told me to say!" "No, I told you to say Orchard Thieves le do thoil! Le do thoil means please you eejit!"

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Tagged: drinking , FAIL , translation , customers , language , ridiculous , bartender , tifu , funny

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Incompetent Sales Rep Measures Wrong, Loses Six Figure Client

Oh man, seeing an unruly short-sighted person get their comeuppance just feels some kind of right. You'd think that given the context, and the fact that they were dealing with a big time, six figure client, that they'd have been more professional, but no they put their pride first. Yeah, they put their pride first and ended up paying the ultimate price. Definitely a valuable lesson.

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Tagged: satisfying , FAIL , revenge , sales , ridiculous , building

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Fresh Batch Of Totally Random, Funny Tweets

We could all use a break from the stress-inducing headlines that are seemingly in a competition to be the most unsettling. These funny tweets are totally random, but also hilarious, and just entertaining enough to distract you from the madness of this dystopian time for a little while.

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Text - Perry Sloan @SloanPerry when you push a pull door and the person behind says "you need to pull" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom

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Text - Uncle Dynamite @UncleDynamite I wouldn't even know what to do during a threesome. Jazz hands, probably. 8:48 AM - 1 Apr 2012 878 RETWEETS 1,867 LIKES

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Text - Male Thoughts @SteveStfier I just got my girlfriend a 'get better soon' card. she isn't sick, I just think she can get better.

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Text - Goat FacE @EndhooS *Wife blows me a kiss from across the room* *I pretend to catch it* *I walk over to the window and toss it outside* "Grow up Karen"

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Text - Khalifa +, @KKAIThani Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered.

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Text - James Breakwell O @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: What's for dinner? Me: Leftovers. 6: But I didn't like it the first time. Me: That's why we have so much left. 4:04 PM · 12 Jan 17 >

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Text - leo dominguez @oledominguez COLGAT Almost left the grocery store without buying a bag of spring mix to throw, unopened, into the garbage in two weeks 7/9/18, 5:30 PM 9,279 Retweets 46.7K Likes

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Text - Ray @SirEviscerate *accidentally uses flash while trying to take pic of funny looking person on the bus* *makes distant thunder noises with mouth* 8/6/14, 7:43 AM 14.2K RETWEETS 25K LIKES

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Text - ♡ brian essbe ♡ @SortaBad One time I saw a video of a guy holding up a sign that said "I love you Stevie" at a Stevie Wonder concert. I think about this a lot. 8:34 PM · 25 Apr 16 5,301 RETWEETS 10K LIKES <>

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Text - Derrick a @_ayosworldd it took me 19 years to realize that when someone says "hold your horses" they're telling me to be stable

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Text - Kalvin @KalvinMacleod Dads Anonymous DAD: go on, it's safe here ME: sometimes I don't cut the grass in a pattern *one dad vomits, another stops grilling entirely* 8/21/16, 2:30 PM

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Text - John Darby @mrjohndarby wife: i'm leaving you me: is it because i speak so quietly? wife: well you could at least say something

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Text - sam rhys @sam_rhys i might be going mad but are the two e's in bee actually silent ??

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Text - nicole boyce @nicolewboyce I NEVER restore all old tabs. If I lose them in a restart, they're gone. It is a blessing to be set free from a prison of my own creation

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Text - your bff alex @psybermonkey The best murder weapon would be a tupperwear lid because nobody would ever find it

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Text - Jim Clark 1w Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O- blood. We didn't have any, but her twin brother has O- blood. I explained to him that it was a matter of life and death. He sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to his parents. I didn't think anything of it until after we took his blood and he asked, "So when will I die?" He thought he was giving his life for hers. Thankfully, they'll both be fine

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Text - naan swanson @johnbiehl When anyone asks "guess who I ran into today?" | always say "zamfir, master of the panflute?" To this day no one has ever said yes. Beginning to wonder if zamfir, master of the panflute is ok, if you know zamfir, master of the panflute please tell him I'm starting to worry, ty 1/20/18, 2:42 AM

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Text - @highkeylost police officer: please step out of the vehicle me: are u mad at me

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Text - Patches @Mostly Cheese Cop: You're driving on the wrong side of the road. Driver: Sorry, I'm English. Cop: (shouting) It's the wrong soid of the roade ye was droivin down, innit?

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Text - L7 tomsauced Retweeted unanimated corpse @davidkenny100 I grew up just a stone's throw away from where that whole family died of mysterious head injuries 16/02/2017, 16:22 428 RETWEETS 832 LIKES

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Text - Robyn Porteous @RobynPorteous Wanna know why I hate Vapers? You smell donuts or cotton candy and turn a corner thinking 'mmmm I'm gonna treat myself to something tasty." But NO. It's just Brad and his cloud of LIES.

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Text - Dan @DanGibsonwain Ineed to start wearing a GoPro on nights out so l can pinpoint where exactly it all goes wrong

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Text - tweet appraiser @wownicetweets I was like what the fuck is this dog barking at untilI saw he was wearing a bluetooth 5/14/14, 1:03 PM 4,546 RETWEETS 7,420 LIKES

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Text - nina @ninatreemonkey {Commercial for Floors} Is this you? {footage of man falling endlessly to oblivion} 7/29/15, 7:11 PM 2,721 RETWEETS 5,077 LIKES

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Text - Michael Wong @chinaboytellem If you are behind someone at an ATM late at night, let them know you're not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck. 11/22/12 15:14

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Text - Dorky Romano Follow @SuperApple80 The best part about marriage is getting in trouble for going to the bathroom when your spouse was thinking about going to the bathroom.

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Text - Christina H. Sommers @CHSommers Want to close wage gap? Step one: Change your major from feminist dance therapy to electrical engineering. #NationalOffendACollegeStudentDay

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Text - keet o @KeetPotato therapist: do any sounds annoy you me: real sounds or imaginary sounds therapist: [curious] lets say imaginary me: spider wearing flip flops 24/01/2017, 11:02 1,665 RETWEETS 4,191 LIKES

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Text - IRAldo @aldomax_ Burnt ma Hawaiian pizza today Shoulda cooked it on aloha temperature

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Yellow - cortí Follow @omgcorti How white dads answer the phone. 4:37 PM - 4 Nov 2017

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Text - Derv @dearbhlaaa 64 you ever spend so long in bed you start feeling like the grandparents from charlie and the chocolate factory 29/12/2017, 9:07 am

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Text - Follow @bonnntle Ladies , what would you do if you found another girls nudes on your mans phone? RETWEETS LIKES 7 7 9:03 PM - 8 May 2017 6 11 17 7 Brinda Follow @_Rebas Send them to myself. When he asks for my nudes, l'll send hers again.

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Text - Mark Ellis Follow @markellislive Actual text from my Uber driver. Apparently he is proclaiming that he is the King of all burgers in the land. Text Message Today 10:23 PM I'm hereby Burger King

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Text - Mother Of Sarcasm @SarcasmMother We spend five days a week pretending to be someone else in order to spend two days being who we are.

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Text - 1 Joe Hill retweeted Matt Roller @rolldiggity New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10.

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Tagged: humor , twitter , social media , ridiculous , funny tweets

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