FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 05/09/20

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Quick Tumblr Thread: Intellectual Elitism Gets Called Out

This quick and funny Tumblr thread addresses the absurd and unnecessary nature of intellectual elitism. Just cause some writing isn't the most popular thing in school (or anywhere else) doesn't mean that it doesn't possess value. Some folks accept that, some folks don't. If you're looking for another Tumblr rabbit hole to fall down, check out the recent thread that looks at the discreet genius behind Nick Fury, in a famous scene from Captain America: The First Avenger.

If that didn't fill your cup, then check out these Tumblr gems of historical persuasion.

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Text - I REALLY FUCKING LIKE CATS OK. deadcatwithaflamethrower people I still want to stab over a decade later: Creative Writing Professor at a former college: Welcome to creative writing! By the way, you will not write fantasy, ghost stories, pranormal, or science fiction in this class, as this is a creative writing course."

2.

Text - Criticize morgynleri by crea What the ever loving fuck is with "creative" writing professors who think that speculative fiction of any stripe ISN'T CREATIVE? thebibliosphere I till remember my own creative writing teacher telling me this because he saw the Terry Pratchett book on my desk and got this smug smirk on his face like "aha, gotcha". He had the nerve to pick it up and call it "popularist fiction", like somehow being popular and easily accessible made it less inherent in intellect

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Text - I had it in my back pack because I did my final thesis on the evolution of mythology and folk tails into fantasy and sci-fi and the societal importance of telling stories (before anyone asks, no I don't have it, I lost it when I moved continents), and I used Terry Pratchett because there wasn't a single humanitarian issue the man did not touch on. Which I told him. And then he kind of floundered and went "ah, well but, it's...well I mean it's not exactly high brow", like neither the fuck

4.

Text - literally selling his stories by the chapter. He was the popular author of his time. Shakespeare was too, he fucking made up words and phrases all the time because the language he needed to express himself didn't exist in the way he needed it too. Intellectual elitism is nothing more than a hold over from class warfare and the belief that only certain people should get to be truly educated. And it needs to be smashed. vocifersaurus neither the fuck was Shakespeare or Dickens you self-impo

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Tagged: literature , elitism , tumblr , shakespeare , ridiculous , writing

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"Kiss from a Rose" Sung by actual Seals

If you ever wanted to hear what it was like if Seal was just a bunch of seals, then here's that. Next we'd like to see what they can do with Korn.

Submitted by: (via Real Big Boys)

Tagged: Music , seal , seals , lol , funny , stupid , animals , win

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Quora Saga: Guy Falls In Love With Girlfriend's Mother

Dude is definitely an alien. I don't even care if this was pulled out of thin air, and is a work of pure fiction. The resulting rollercoaster is full of strange, curiosity, and humor. Just picturing a dude out in the world that is this level of clueless, and all the while desperately trying to figure out people's reactions to his behavior, is enough to get the laughs rolling. Seriously, well done. Quora is definitely a strange place. Get more of the weirdness from Quora over here with all these ridiculous questions Quora users asked.

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Text - Text - When I was watching TV, my girlfriend's mom laid on the sofa I was sitting and put her head on my lap. Did she cross the line? 3 Answers Asked Oct 31 Last followed Oct 31 2 Answer Follow 5

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Text - Text - My girlfriend's mom walks around their home in lingerie. What do I do? 4 Answers Asked Oct 31 Last followed Nov 7 2 Answer Follow 6

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Text - Text - My girlfriend's mom kissed me on the lips. Is this normal in the US? 1 Answer Asked Oct 31 Last followed Oct 31 2 Answer Follow 7 000

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Text - Text - I'm in love with my girlfriend's mum. How can I tell if her mum and I are soulmates? 2 Answers · Asked Nov 1· Last followed Nov 2 2 Answer ) Follow · 6 000

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Text - Text - I can't stop thinking about my girlfriend's mum. Is this what love feels like? No answer yet · Asked Nov 1· Last followed Nov 1 2 Answer ) Follow · 2 000

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Text - Text - I left my girlfriend for her mom. Am I a bad person or just a victim of love? 2 Answers · Asked Oct 31 · Last followed Nov 2 2 Answer Follow 2 000

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Text - Text - I left my pregnant ex to be with her mum, but l'd like my ex to come over for Thanksgiving. How can I get her to accept our invitation? 6 Answers · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 3 2 Answer ) Follow · 1 000

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Text - Text - Thad sex with my girlfriend's mum, but I don't feel guilty about it. Is that normal? No answer yet · Asked Nov 2 · Last followed Nov 2 2 Answer Follow 1 000

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Text - If I marry my ex's mum, should we invite her to the wedding? 3 Answers Asked Nov 1· Last followed Nov 1 2 Answer ) Follow · 1 000

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Text - Text - Why is it that I love older women? Am I weird or something? 1 Answer · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 7 2 Answer ) Follow · 5 000

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Text - Text - Is it natural for a younger man to be with an older woman? No answer yet · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 7 2 Answer Follow · 2 000

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Text - Text - My soon be ex caught her mum and I having sex. Why is my ex upset. When she cheated on me with my best friend? No answer yet · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 3 2 Answer ) Follow · 1 000

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Text - Text - How can I stop obsessing about my ex-girlfriend's mum? I miss her when she's not with me. 1 Answer · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 3 2 Answer a Follow · 1 000

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Text - Text - Why do some women look better as they age? I'm in love with older women, but I don't understand why. No answer yet · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 3 2 Answer a Follow 1 000

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Text - What's a good gift to get a woman in her early fifties? 1 Answer · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 3 2 Answer a Follow · 1 000

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Text - Thave Rahu and Mars in my seventh house. Is this why I left my ex to be with her mother? 1 Answer · Asked Nov 5 · Last followed Nov 5 2 Answer ) Follow · 3 000

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Text - Text - My now fiancé is my pregnant ex's mum. Is it wrong that her mum and me flirt and show our love for each other when my ex is around? It's not in a malicious way. We just simply love each other. 2 Answers Asked Nov 5 · Last followed Nov 11 2 Answer ) Follow · 4 000

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Text - I'm in love with an older woman. How can I tell if it is real love or a fetish? 1 Answer · Asked Nov 3 · Last followed Nov 3 2 Answer a Follow 2

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Text - Text - I'm engaged to my ex's mum. We're trying to get pregnant but she's 50. Does anyone have any remedies to conceive for my fiancé? No answer yet · Asked Wed · Last followed Thu 2 Answer ) Follow · 2 000

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Text - Text - Some of my coworkers think I'm arrogant. But I don't ever boast or talk about my personal life. I simply just want to do my job well. Why will they think this? 3 Answers · Asked Nov 10 · Last followed Nov 10 2 Answer ) Follow 3 000

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Text - Text - I can't imagine a life without my fiancé. Is this healthy love? 1 Answer Asked Nov 5 · Last followed Nov 5 2 Answer ) Follow 2

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Text - How can an old person make their skin less saggy? No answer yet · Asked 43m ago · Last followed 43m ago 2 Answer ) Follow 1 000

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Text - How can I get my 50-year-old fiancé to lactate without a pregnancy? No answer yet · Asked Wed · Last followed Wed 2 Answer ) Follow 1 000

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Text - Text - Why do some Americans get offended when a mother nurses her baby in public? 3 Answers · Asked Wed · Last followed Wed Z Answer Follow 2 000

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Text - Text - Why is it so hard for me to connect with people? I always feel out of place when I'm around others. Am la fallen angel or just an alien? 1 Answer · Asked 33m ago · Last followed 31m ago 2 Answer ) Follow 2

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Tagged: crazy , wtf , FAIL , quora , absurd , satire , relationships , girlfriend , dating

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Texts from Students Who Had to Take Care of Electronic Babies

Depending on where you went to school and what classes you took, you may have had a project where you had to take care of a sack of flour as if it were a child, or in this case, a robotic doll programmed to cry. Based on how frustrating these things can be, we're not sure if these projects were designed to be a learning experience so much as birth control. It doesn't take simulated parenting to know that kids are weird and dumb, and that toddlers have meltdowns over nothing, but having a robot baby wake up in the middle of the night might be a literal wake-up call for a high school freshman.

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Text - Can you shut off my baby Today 6:14 AM Hello miss lefebvre can you please shut of the child Today 7:48 AM Good morning, I can't shut off or control your baby. It is scheduled for the times you picked when it was programmed. I can't control it. If you or tired or frustrated, ask someone to help you. If you absolutely cannot do it anymore there is an emergency shut off that would end the baby completely and would stop the process totally. If you want to do this, let me know.

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Text - iMessage Today 11:09 AM are the i'd bracelets water proof ? Yes Read 11:18 AM okay thank you

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Text - Today 8:32 AM Can I put the child in my bag? No So I have to carry it in the cole Cold Yep wrap it up in blanket in carrier Ok

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Text - Yesterday 1:30 PM Hey, it's make noise to touch the baby or should I be constantly holding it? . Do I wait for it to Sorry nvm Is it good? Yeah sorry, I didnt have to text you That's ok! Okay thanks Yesterday 6:40 PM Is it working? Yeah, but I've been rocking him for like 20 min and he still is whining Lol That's normal? Nvm he's sleeping

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Text - Yesterday 9:08 PM Hi it's time because he won't stop wimpier and l've tried everything and it's been going on for an hour I really need a quiet We can't add quiet time after being programmed. Get someone to help you. You have a spare bracelet to let someone help. Do I sill have to take care of him until Sunday or can he be turned off on Saturday It's on for whatever you picked in class today

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Text - Yesterday 6:28 PM So Lucy and I might of fallen down the stairs....0opsies Oops. Did she die? Delivered Not that l'm aware of yet Just praying she makes a noise Soon Today 6:55 AM So good and bad news lucky definitely isn't dead

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Text - Today 8:58 AM I dont remeber of it was 7 am that it times out at or 7pm It would be in the evening. It's possible it may sleep most of the day. No way to know. As you sent that text it started crying

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Tagged: complaining , Babies , school , texts , teacher , robots , lol , project , funny

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Canadian Woman Arrested And Jailed In US For Driving With Canadian License

The Ontario woman is looking for an apology from the police in Georgia, who arrested, handcuffed, and charged her because she was driving with a Canadian license. No idea what those cops were thinking. Sheesh.

Submitted by: (via CBC News)

Tagged: Canada , FAIL , criminal , ridiculous , illegal

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Wonderfully Incompetent Failures of Design

There wouldn't be design without a healthy number of design fails. There's people putting telephone poles in the middle of roads, goofing up headlines, photoshopping the ever-loving reality out of their ads, and making classic stupid signs. You've gotta love it when someone makes a great big sign for their local "Pubic Library." Here are some wonderfully unprofessional "not my job" moments.