Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Tow Truck Driver Smashes Into Every Car on the Street


Hot damn dude, just because the one car is totaled doesn't mean you can go and total the rest. It's like this driver is trying to rustle up some job security by smashing into every other car on the street. What's amazing is after the first they just keep going.

Submitted by: (via Daily Content)

Tagged: wtf , FAIL , tow truck , destruction , cars , lol

John Carpenter Wins "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", Calls Dad, Feels Ensue


What a power move when he phoned up his old man just to tell him that he was about to take home that million dollars. John seems like one of those human beings who just walks around with an encyclopedia in the back of his brain. 

Submitted by: (via Scottrax)

Canopener Bridge Claims Countless Trucks That Underestimate It


Rumor has it that there's a truck rental place near this bridge. So, you can imagine an ongoing series of scenarios where truck drivers are lectured on not underestimating this bridge, and then each driver proceeds to do just that. Even after they raised the bridge the extra eight inches, people still manage to crash into it with a reckless abandon. I mean, come on! 

Submitted by: (via yovo68)

Tagged: FAIL , ridiculous , truck , bridge , Video

Funny Tweets to Put Some Skip in That Step


In a way, Twitter is like wandering through a hurricane of people's fears, complaints, and quirky observations. Will it be a dissertation on how hard it is to be a mom or will it be a terrific caption for a new dead giant squid someone found? Who knows. This and more can be found in many sick tweets from the twitter-verse.

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Text - Eternal Samnation 00 @portmanteauface They don't want you to know this, but if you adopt a highway, you are no longer required to obey traffic laws there. You just seceded from the union and you're free to bask in the sovereignty of your little republic of tar 9:57 AM Nov 12, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 149 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 313 Likes

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Clothing - Django Gold @django 000 being an adult fucking sucks NEW COLOR 2:21 PM · Nov 10, 2020 · Twitter Web App

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Text - tatum 000 @50FirstTates guys remember that even if the vaccine is 95% effective there is a margin of error of about 10% +/-. that means that it could actually be 105% effective and give u superpowers such as invisibility or super speed 11:02 AM Nov 16, 2020 · Twitter Web App 185 Retweets 11 Quote Tweets 1.4K Likes

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Text - (((Michael Weiss))) @RotationISymtry 000 You, an intellectual: Actually it's not called "Calvary", its real name is "Golgotha". Me: Weird hill to die on, but okay. 8:18 PM · Oct 17, 2020 · Twitter for iPad

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Text - BASS, MIDS, TOPS OUT NO.. 000 @joemuggs Man loses his dog, so he puts an ad in the paper: "here boy!" 5:10 PM · Nov 15, 2020 · Twitter Web App

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Text - Roxi Horror 00 @roxiqt If you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. True happiness comes from making bizarre impulse purchases online, not from another person. 12:08 AM Nov 15, 2020 · Twitter for Android 891 Retweets 46 Quote Tweets 7.3K Likes

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Text - Reticent Turnip 000 @ReticentTurnip "WebMD" is pronounced "wuh- BUMMED" 2:37 AM Nov 15, 2020 · Twitter for Android

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Text - An English Human @English_Channel Professor X: So what's your superpower? me: silently judging Professor X: me: Professor X: *sweating* me: Professor X: you're hired 12:55 PM · Nov 16, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - batkaren 000 @batkaren A lot of folks out there missing the point... Q unisex names unisex names Q unisex names for girls 5:36 PM · Nov 14, 2020 · Twitter Web App

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Text - wint @dril Hah, yes. i do consider myself somewhat of the most god tieir troller who has ever lived. ive fooled over 1000 people into kicking my asS, 1:51 PM Nov 15, 2020 · Twitter Web App

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Text - Julicorn 000 @ChicksRule [first time doing surgery] Me: you know, the operation game had a buzzing sound when I did something wrong Nurse: that's what the one long beep was 3:04 PM Nov 10, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - 17 Discount Emma Stone Retweeted jon drake @DrakeGatsby 000 It's my Roomba's birthday so l'm bringing him to the beach and I'm just gonna let him go crazy 9:01 AM Nov 15, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Mal 000 @TheRealPalMal Leaves are showing their true colors. This is why I do not trust trees. 9:03 AM Nov 15, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - The Ghost of Swan Corleone 000 @Swan_Corleone2 Interviewer: Why did you bring a lawyer to a job interview? My lawyer: You don't have to answer that 10:28 AM Nov 12, 2020 · Twitter for Android 282 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 1.1K Likes

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Text - Dave Cactus 00 @dave_cactus VICTIM: First time murdering? I have a suggestion. ME (sharpening my gun): Go on. 2:13 PM · Nov 10, 2020 · Twitter for Android

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Text - pointman @appuntito160 000 Guy who posts "I'mma do a hecking adult today" before signing his divorce papers. 1:29 PM · Nov 14, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 2.3K Retweets 113 Quote Tweets 24.2K Likes

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Cartoon - linc 000 @lincnotfound everybody fears raymond 10:35 AM Nov 14, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 7.9K Retweets 161 Quote Tweets 68K Likes

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Bowling pin - Uncle Duke 000 @UncleDuke1969 how the walk to the bathroom feels when everyone else is asleep 10:30 AM Nov 15, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone O

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Text - Jeff is Tall 000 @JeffisTallguy "If you strike me down, I shall become more back up again than you can possibly imagine." -Obiwumba 11:01 AM · Nov 14, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Trey @treydayway 000 Some kids in the neighborhood graffitied pythagorean theorem on a building in case you were wondering how thuggish my area is 10:51 PM Nov 13, 2020 · Twitter for Android

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Text - Pru 000 @prufrockluvsong them: I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT me: *breaking their glasses* no you won't 5:52 PM Jul 28, 2020 · Twitter for Android

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Text - Spazio @Spaziotwat 000 Holmes: "I say, old bean, is that mud on your boots?" Watson: "No, shit, Sherlock" 4:21 PM Nov 8, 2014 · Twitter for BlackBerry®

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Text - Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy 000 The letter d in Dunstable is actually load-bearing. Take it away & see what happens 4:07 PM Nov 14, 2020 · Tweetlogix

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Text - Naughty Zippo @NaughtyZippo 000 Parenting is a minefield. Just because they loved Hotel Transylvania doesn't mean they'll love The Shining. Lesson learned. 5:09 AM · Sep 1, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Hi, it's Abby. Yep @abbycohenwl 000 ABBY, Most people who say "I'm bad with names" mean they can't remember them. But I'm bad with names in another way. Anyway, meet my son Dipshit 7:50 PM Dec 11, 2019 · Twitter Web App

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Text - Jason Not Evil 000 @JasonNotEvil Me: This coffee is so damn hot! I just burned the hell out of my mouth! Her: Why don't you wait till it cools? Me (finishes coffee) Owwwww! My throat! 12:36 PM Nov 14, 2020 · Twitter for Android

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Product - raina 000 @quakerraina Ma'am we are broke SZA SZA @sza · Nov 13 Do what u want at all times. Reminder. 1:53 PM Nov 14, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - Bewg A @bewgtweets 00 Me: I'm just saying, tax evasion. It's how they caught Al Capone Bigfoot hunter: go on 5:58 PM · Nov 13, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Krill - Sandra Newman 000 @sannewman I am hoping I too will be remembered as stunningly intact Stunningly intact giant squid washes ashore in South Africa 8 livescience.com 7:25 PM · Nov 13, 2020 · Twitter Web App

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Text - Ron Iver 000 @ronnui_ I got 99 problems but oh my god I'm so fucked what am I gonna do that's so many problems 8:46 AM Nov 12, 2020 · Twitter for Android 12K Retweets 235 Quote Tweets 76.1K Likes

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Text - Ginny Hogan_ @ginnyhogan_ 00 My boyfriend just accidentally sent me 7 texts in a row that he intended for his friend. All 7 were about how much he loves Nicholas Cage. I would rather have found out he was cheating. 10:36 PM Nov 13, 2020 · Twitter Web App

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Text - dan mentos 000 @DanMentos my japanese noodle restaurant, Everybody Loves Ramen, has once again been targeted by arsonists 2:23 AM Nov 17, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - H. 000 @CyborgHanky "Dammit Jeff, you always gerrymander the last hot wing!" I turn to the group, hopeful I've finally used the word "gerrymander" correctly. 9:26 PM Oct 18, 2016 · Twitter for Android 129 Retweets 10 Quote Tweets 445 Likes

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Text - Weak Ankles 000 @ankles_so_weak Priest: for what have you come to ask forgiveness, my dear? Me: my student loans Priest: [to god] can...can she do that? 1:18 PM Nov 16, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

Submitted by:

Tumblr Thread: Avatar The Last Airbender Plot Osmosis


Many folks out there have heard of the acclaimed television series, Avatar: The Last Airbender. The show definitely made another splash on the scene when it returned for streaming on Netflix last summer. People were buried once again in the vast, bewitching, wholesome yet surprisingly intense world of the Avatar. The show is just so damn good, and Uncle Iroh seems to have a limitless supply of wise sentiments for everyone to chew on. 

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Text - bygodstillam 2 cerusee tumblr Follow glitch-h Ive never seen avatar the last airbender but here is my understanding of the plot based on tumblr -the avatar is important bc he can bend all the elements and no one else can. There hasnt been one for a while and the fire nation is taking over -a couple of siblings find a boy trapped in ice he's like 9 and bald and the last airbender. Also he's the avatar and they know this somehow -siblings are like "well guess we have another brother" and th

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Text - -meanwhile in the fire nation we've got todoroki minus the ice (zuko) and his mean dad sends him to find the avatar thinking that he'll definitely fail. I think his dad also tries to kill him. He's obsessed with honor. Zuko's nice uncle is worried. Todoroki didn't get a nice uncle Zuko is lucky in that department. Zuko is unlucky in most other departments -when zuko finds the avatar he ends up joining up with him ? And he goes from having a weird bald+ponytail hairstyle to 2000s emo kid w

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Text - -at some point sokka has a gf who turns into the moon. I am unclear on whether or not sokka is a bender. "That's rough, buddy" says Zuko like a king -zuko's sister was also abused by their dad but didnt get a redemption arc but instead goes batshit. Me too, sis -i think zuko kills his dad or am i thinking of Lotor -zuko should kill his dad. Todoroki should also kill his dad. Death to abusers 2020 -im getting off track

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Text - -theres a blind girl that can bend metal and that's a big deal -there is no war in ba sing se. I do not know where this fits in but based on the memes that line is used in i have a feeling there is in fact war in ba sing se -i dont know how the series ends full-moon-phoenix Congratulations, Tumblr! We explained to this guy the whole show using only memes! mikkeneko "i have a feeling there is in fact war in ba sing se " bygodstillam holy shit this is glorious Source:glitch-h #atla #abracaf

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"Not My Job" Moments of Questionable Professionalism


Most of us pride ourselves on being at least halfway decent at our jobs. Sometimes things get forgotten, done too quickly, or done by exactly the wrong person. What we get are "not my job" moments of quality unprofessionalism. The world is populated with crap infrastructure, stupid signs, and painted over spiders because somewhere along the line someone said, "eh, not my job."

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