Friday, July 3, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Pokémon Drawn to Actual Scale


An ekans doesn't seem nearly as imposing when it looks like it could crawl out of a tailpipe. Many of us grew up with the global phenomenon of Pokémon searing its mark into our childhoods, and a lot of time has been lost on those games for good reason. This Tumblr Thread explains how the Pokémon probability system is madness. Also, here's a thread on why Mr. Mime is the creepiest Pokémon.

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Cartoon - sinnerbird im going to start a thread of pokemon drawn to the sizes of the things theyre based on here, i'll start

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Cartoon - sinnerbird also this thread is open to anyone

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Hand - sinnerbird

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Cartoon - very-salty-popcorn A very small boi enters

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Cartoon - alpha-bread !!!! This is Zangoose she's pointy and I love her

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Cartoon - kuro--sawa A pocket sized boy

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Hand - pettyartist I chose the littlest ones cause the BIG ones were always tadpoles and the little ones were always poliwogs.

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Cartoon - charlesoberonn Earth

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Demanding Karen Insists She Works at the Store


It would take the most silver-tongued of devils to talk their way into an employee-only 7-11 bathroom in the middle of the night, and whatever opinion this entitled Karen has of herself, she's not gonna get in there. For another ridiculous Karen tactic, here's a Karen who demanded to speak to a fellow customer's manager.

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Text - r/IDontWorkHerelady · Posted by u/wafflecopter2 16 hours ago No, YOU don't work here, lady XL I've never been mistaken for an employee at a place I don't work at, but I did have to tell a Karen that she doesn't work at my store. I work at 7-Eleven, and I've been there for about six years now. I used to work night shift (boy, do I have some stories from those days) but one that really stands out for this subreddit is the time I had to tell a lady she doesnt work at my store.

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Text - It was late one night (or perhaps early in the morning) and my cover had gone home for the night, so I was running the store by myself. I had an older woman come in with a younger woman (late 40s and early 20s, so I'm assuming mother and daughter). Mom just so happens to have that "Karen" vibe to her. She walks up to my counter while I'm taking care of some tasks. Karen: Can I use your bathroom? Now, we don't have a public bathroom at my store. We have a staff bathroom, but it's behind a

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Text - Me: Sorry, we don't have a bathroom. Karen: Well, where do YOU quys go to the bathroom then? Me: We have a staff bathroom, but it's for staff only. Karen: Well, I'm staff so you have to let me use your bathroom. Me: I don't think you work here. Karen: Yes I do. I worked for 7-Eleven 20 years ago, so you have to let me use your bathroom. Again, it's a bathroom for staff only. We'll make an exception for employees that left recently, but even if this lady is telling the truth, she left the

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Text - Me: I'm sorry, I can't let you use our bathroom. Karen: WELL, I want to speak to your MANAGER. It's about 3 in the morning right now, so our manager is asleep. I'm kinda losing my mind here, because this is my first interaction with a Karen in the wild. I'm still relatively new to the company too, so I can't think of any other option right now. Me: Okay, I'll give her a call. I call my manager, and she's very not pleased. I explain the situation, and she tells me the best thing to do is a

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Text - Me: I called my manager, and she says you can't use our bathroom. Karen: Yeah, right. *passive aggressive eyeroll* Me: My manager also said you have to leave. Karen: Whatever. If I p*** myself, it's all your fault. Thankfully she didn't raise a huge stink about it, but wow. I can't think of another time I've had to tell a customer that they don't work at my store. Usually if they do, they know the code already and can just walk into the back to talk to the boss. So that's my horror story

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Tagged: wtf , bathroom , lol , story , dumb , 7-11 , stupid , karen

Tumblr Thread: Kudzu Is A Monster Plant Waging War With Everything


This Tumblr thread has a bit of everything. It starts out as an existential post about building treehouses, transitions to plants waging wars on each other, and eventually evolves to a full on stress post about the monstrous force that is the Kudzu plant, basically consuming everything in its path. I love that the goat homies are just like, "screw it, more food for us." Additionally, the pictures of the Kudzu "destroying" various landscapes do possess a strange beauty of their own. 

Check out some more Tumblr gold with these cultures colliding over various grading scales.

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Text - inconsequential S linesofreturninggeese Follow just-shower-thoughts Follow Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend, here hold him." mojave-wasteland-official "Friend" Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory. theun--sj Follow Plants don't wage war

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Text - mojave-wasteland-official Ever heard of blackberries? Yes, plants do wage war kasaron Follow Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. A systlin Follow I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago. It's currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

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Text - Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries. And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint. moirakatson Follow This post did not go where I expected it to. deathbeforednf Follow Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing

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Text - 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later. Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there. norseminuteman Follow Yall mother fuckers don't even talk unless you've

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Text - ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. breadgunner Can second the comments of Kudzu. I forget where I read it but there's this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that's in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant's seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It's even more badass than plants that

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Nature - See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu. zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare They smother every other living plant to death ID

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Natural landscape - Those trees under there are dead, they can't get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It's creepy as hell. These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist's wet dream tbh.

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Vegetation - The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.

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Nature - What used to be a house

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Vegetation - Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale Itt's an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to

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Text - spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine... for now. e zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is on time magazine's top 10 invasive species to look out for.

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Tree

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Vegetation

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Vegetation

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Goats - This little buddy doing his part UNCOTV zachsanomaiy Follow Not to keep spamming this post but

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Biome - ladestatlan of Kutru in de tinind States "the growth of kudzu as it became a "structural parasite" of the South,[7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as "the vine that ate the South".[13]" "It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., "easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually". yall it's been estimated this plant consumes

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Text - 600 kilometers of the united states every year it's been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away e nixieseal Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots... Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it. Eat it before it ea

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Text - 3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat Follow In this world it's eat or be eaten gamebird Follow Thread starts with the existential angst of building a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu. Posts that make you go 'hm. Source: just-shower-thoughts 221,327 notes

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Marriage Tweets That Didn't Hold Anything Back


If there's one thing that these hilarious and unfiltered tweets about marriage prove, it's that the experience is just like an emotional rollercoaster. You have the good days and the bad days, and will continually be tested by that partner as you navigate life together. 

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Text - Grant Tanaka @GrantTanaka Txt from wife: where r u Me:kitchen Wife:can u feed cat M: I mean garage W:bring in laundry M:bathroom W:clean toilet M: Idaho W:get potatos

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Text - Pete Lynch @PJTLynch Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.

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Text - Underchilde @Underchilde Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she's doing.

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Text - Josh @iwearaonesie My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth.

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Text - Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Following Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.

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Text - keith @tchrquotes Me: Look, I love you, But I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now. Wife: But I only... Me: EXACTLY the amount

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Text - Josh @iwearaonesie Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge

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Text - Follow David Hughes @david8hughes Me: theres a man outside fighting with water Wife: the neighbour? Me: yes Wife: is he in the pool? Me: yes Wife: again, its called swimming

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Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland 12 Dec 2016 I feel bad that my wife lost the thermostat negotiations but it's hilarious to watch her eat dinner in mittens. Oops dropped her fork again.

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Text - Floyd @dafloydsta Follow WIFE: I think the milk has gone bad *opens fridge and sees milk in a leather jacket smoking a cig* ME: holy shit

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Text - The Pale Space Rider @truegritrumble Follow WIFE: Don't go into the ball pit with the kids. You always lose your keys. ME: *already in the ball pit* You're not going to believe this.

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Text - Bear Knee Sanders Retweeted The Hype @TheHyyyype 4 Nov 2016 FRIEND: you gotta go home and show your wife who's boss ME: damn right [later] ME: jen listen up "pulls out photo" this is my manager tim 17 748 1.5K

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Text - Rob - Follow @rockymomax WIFE: let's see a movie ME: I know something better we can do in the dark *winks* [cut to me destroying her in laser tag] ME: WWWO00000000

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Text - Bear Knee Sanders Follow @LeBearGirdle Wife: can you pick up milk? Me: [lifts gallon] yea it's easy Wife: I mean from the store Me: I would imagine it weighs the same there too

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Text - Rob Follow @rockymomax WIFE: where's the baby ME: I traded a guy for this sandwich WIFE: what? ME: haha l'm kidding WIFE: oh thank god ME: I also got a snickers

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Text - garbage island kyle @hippieswordfish ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong

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Text - Max Dylan Ash Follow @mynameisntdave ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*

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Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie [texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)

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Text - Br&on the Cow @Brampersandon_- 8 Dec 2016 WIFE: I like to be serious but he likes to joke around. So we often butt heads. ME: lol she said butt THERAPIST: lol nice *high 5s me* 7 19 V 78 ...

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Text - Kent G. Follow @KentTheG My wife just banished me from cookie decorating for using the yellow icing to have my cookie reindeer pee on her cookie snowman.

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Text - Kent Graham @KentWGraham - 31 Dec 2016 ME: My New Year's resolution is to eat less WIFE: Good! ME: (very, very quietly)...vegetables. 6 4 t7 147 286

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Text - Floyd @dafloydsta 14 Oct 2016 WIFE: Let's talk about your passive-aggressive behavior. ME: Or we could talk about the fact that no one likes you, Karen. 17 429 V 884

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Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Follow Me: I'm so ready for the kids' Christmas pageant. Wife: *confiscates my flask* Me: OK, now I'm ready. Wife: *confiscates my backup flask*

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Text - Kalvin @KalvinMacleod 29 Nov 2016 WIFE: you didn't use my shampoo again did you? ME: *shakes my head no but my lustrous hair gives me away*

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Text - Gian D'Oh Follow @GianDoh I can feel my wife clothing me with her eyes.

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Text - Merlot's BFF Retweeted Josh @iwearaonesie 26 Dec 2016 wife: Can you test the baby monitor? me *goes into toddlers room* *starts telling yo' mama jokes* *turns around* wife me wife me: It works

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Text - Rodney Lacroix @moooooog35 - 5 Oct 2015 Kids: What's for dinner? Me: We're having hair. Wife: IT'S BLACK BEAN PASTA. Me: Oh. It's black bean pasta. Me: [mouths to kids] Hair.

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Text - The Pan-Midwesterner Retweeted Sinistral Sasquatch @_sinistroll - Jan 3 WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST: Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey 17 45 138 ...

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Text - Abam Droud Follow @AdamBroud [Married sext] Wife: What are you wearing? Me: Just my underwear Wife: So you still haven't done the laundry? ME: No I have not

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Text - Kalvin Follow @KalvinMacleod WIFE: *tightens tie* the shoes really make the man МE: WIFE: *tightens tie* МE: WIFE: *tightens tie* ME: *gasping* I'll take off the sandals

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