Sunday, December 27, 2020

Guy Teaches A Lesson To Handicap Spot Hog


You see it over and over again, someone parks like a jackass, then finds that someone can be a jackass right back to them. This guy who wasted an illegally parked Karen's time is another good example. People will never learn when it comes to this stuff, which is why people keep having to step in.

1.

Text - Posted by u/nunya__bidness 13 hours ago The idiot and the handicapped parking spot When I was attending school (adult education career training) one of my classmates Bob had an artificial leg. Other than walking with a limp and not being able to stand for long periods you wouldn't really notice. He had a large van and handicapped plates but unless he had to he didn't always use the handicapped parking spots leaving them for people who really needed them.

2.

Text - So one winter day it had snowed the day before and the parking lot had been plowed but was very icy and not at all safe for someone like him to walk on. As he pulled in at 8:30 for the 9:00 morning class he saw someone parked in a handicapped spot. Bob checked the license plates and looked for a hanging placard on the rear view mirror. Nothing. So he parked sideways behind the car blocking it in. About 30 minutes into class a young guy came in and interrupted the instructor and asked who

3.

Text - Bob told him that now was not a convenient time and that when class was over in 90 minutes he'd be happy to move it. When the guy said that it was not an appropriate answer Bob replied that parking in a handicapped parking spot in an icy parking lot was not an appropriate action. The guy was highly agitated and Bob was totally unsympathetic. The guy went through the usual excuses. I was only going to an appointment in the office and wasn't going to be that long Yada Yada Yada. Bob remaine

4.

Text - Bottom line, we went back to working on our lab assignment, guy sat in his car pissed off and listening to his radio. At 11:00 after slowly packing up everything we went out to head off to lunch. Bob moved his van and the guy flipped us off and screamed some choice comments about our parentage and sexual proclivities and peeled out of the parking lot very late to his interview. His prospective employer learned something about the guy's reliability and hopefully he was smart enough not to

5.

Text - Also hopefully he learned a lesson about parking in handicapped parking spots but somehow I doubt it. TL:DR idiot parked in handicapped spot illegally. My buddy who had a legitimate need for the spot blocked him in and refused to move until we got a break in our class schedule making the idiot very late for a job interview. Don't try to out asshole Bob over a handicapped parking spot. He's had a lot of practice.

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Client Refuses to Understand What Broken Arm Entails


This guy gets a lot of belligerent customers, whether they're a private school upset about getting upgrades after a charity or a treasurer who doesn't understand numbers. In this case it's a client who seems to want him to outsource the work, but also not outsource it at the same time. Sounds like a fun person to do business with.

1.

Text - Custom unit 2 days ago Details unfortunately i won't be able to build your Hi unit by the the 12th of Jan. I have a fracture in my second favourite arm. There's a couple of guys that do good work that i can arrange something with if you like. Cheers to me 2 days ago Details is this a joke? I'm not sure whether you're being Hi serious or not. As discussed this was for a 40th birthday.

2.

Text - 2 days ago Details Hi unfortunately it's no joke mate. I fractured it playing football over the weekend. I've already discussed the project with . and e and they can do it for you by the set date for the same price. They do good work so they'l| look after you. to me 2 days ago Details I'm sorry for your injury but I do not wish to enter into another arrangement. Don't you have staff that can complete this job? I really need this by the 12th. Thanks

3.

Text - 2 days ago Details ,I apologise for the inconvenience mate, Неу but my staff are all on leave till the 14th so it's just me right now. I can't do much with one arm. The 2 companies mentioned are the only people in the industry i trust and recommend. They're happy to accommodate you. to me 2 days ago Details thank you but no. We entered an agreement and I wish to have the order filled as per our discussed deadline. I do not wish to risk this with any one else. Perhaps you can get one or mo

4.

Text - 2 days ago Details I won't call my guys back from vacation and i can't unbreak my arm. The job can still be done on time, just not by us. That's a solid no to me 2 days ago Details So you decide to let me know 10 days before the due date that you can't do it? You need to factor in these things. If you can't meet a deadline then you'll need to bend over backwards to get it done. Hire someone or outsource it don't just cancel. You have put me in a difficult position now

5.

Text - 2 days ago Details Yes. Next time l'll definitely give you notice before i break my arm. I guess you missed the part where i made arrangements with other companies to get your order filled? That's called outsourcing. It also includes the bending over that you like people to do for you. to me 2 days ago Details And then you resort to throwing shade at a client that you jerked around. I'll leave an appropriate detailed review for you.

6.

Text - 2 days ago Details I'm not familiar with the term "throwing shade" but all this talk of bending over and jerking off is very concerning Thankyou so much for your appropriate review. You're Awesome! I'll respond in kind. Love you to me 2 days ago Details You have an answer for everything don't you. Good bye

7.

Text - 2 days ago Details I'm not familiar with the term "throwing shade" but all this talk of bending over and jerking off is very concerning Thankyou so much for your appropriate review. You're Awesome! 'll respond in kind. Love you to me 2 days ago Details You have an answer for everything don't you. Good bye 2 days ago Details Bye

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Bridezilla Worried Bridesmaid's Chemotherapy Will Ruin Wedding


This bridezilla just soared to the top of delusional and terribly toxic individuals that we've seen involved in weddings. Yikes. Apparently the bride was worried about the bridesmaid in this scenario, ruining her wedding day because of her chemotherapy, and hair loss. You've got to be kidding me. 

1.

Text - Hey girls I have something I need to run by y'all. So Mader didn't have cancer whenl invited her to be my bridesmaid but now I'm having second thoughts about her being in the wedding. Like, she mentioned the other day that her hair has started to fall out a bit and I noticed that it was looking thinner than normal. I just can't

2.

Text - envision having all you beautiful ladies up there with me looking fabulous and then Mader with no hair. I just feel like itll distract from me and and I just feel it won't fit with the look l'm going for. Do you think I could ask her to wear a wig? Or should I tell her I don't think she should be a bridesmaid anymore? Help lol Wtf, are you serious right now???

3.

Text - I will no longer Hey be attending your wedding as a bridesmaid or guest. It has come to my attention that you are concerned about me potentially losing my hair and how that will affect the "aesthetic" of your wedding/ photos/vibe. I would just HATE for my chemotherapy treatment and the resulting side effects to

4.

Text - and the resulting side effects to negatively affect you and your wedding day so I will not be attending. Apparently I really should have read the fine print on my chemotherapy treatments because I read about the expected side effects of nausea, exhaustion, neuropathy, etc. but I somehow missed the mention that it would cause my "friend" to become such an insensitive, self-centered and heartless douchebaggette.

5.

Text - Did stell you? I really didn't mean it in a negative way! I just wasn't expecting you to get cancer and lose your hair when I asked you to be my bridesmaid and now its hard to see that with my vision of my wedding day. I've been dreaming about this day since I was a little girl and I've always had a vision of what it would look like and the photos to

6.

Text - remember it by. I'd be totally fine with you wearing a wig! Could make a day of it and go shopping for one Or you could at least still attend the wedding as my guest. It would mean the world to me to have you there! OMG, you are so right! I can't imagine how unexpected it must have been for YOU to find out that I had cancer. How selfish of me and my hair to not consider that. I will certainly sit down with my rapidly depleting

7.

Text - realize what it was doing to your vision for your wedding. And thank you for being totally fine with me wearing a wig, that's just so gosh darn considerate of you, maybe I can get a clown wig to match your delusional ass. But instead of making a day out of wig shopping, I propose that instead we make a day of you walking barefoot across an endless sea of legos. And I would hate to have my shiny

8.

Text - bald, Mr. Clean head, take away from your amazing day in any way as a guest. And besides,I have a psychic who has enquired about using my head that day as a crystal ball so booked pretty solid . Though I will miss the opportunity to chemo-vomit in your bouquet, this is me officially RSVPing- Not attending on account of you being a soggy pop tart. Delivered

9.

Text - enquired about using my head that day as a crystal ball so booked pretty solid. Though I will miss the opportunity to chemo-vomit in your bouquet, this is me officially RSVPing- Not attending on account of you being a soggy pop tart. Please don't be like this. I really didn't mean it in a mean way, just being honest. I'd really like for you to be there for my big day

10.

Text - Of the 2 people in this conversation who need to re- evaluate the way they're acting, I'm certainly not it. I sincerely hope that every future shopping cart that you push has that one rogue wheel. May your pillow never be cold when you flip it over and let the strings on your hoodies be forever uneven. Goodnight Delivered

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Attempts That Got Caught Up In the Net of Failure


People are constantly caught up in an attempt to do something. Some people are trying to be complimentary or look smart. Some people are trying to re-frame news or look younger. Every attempt might hit the ground with the sound of failure. Whatever people try to do, their attempt might stumble into a pile of fail.

1.

Scientific instrument - Troy Leon Gregg, a death row inmate in Georgia, escaped the night before his execution only to be killed in a bar fight that very same night.

2.

Text - jordan O @JordanUhl Budweiser just spent $5 million on a commercial to brag about donating $100K worth of water. 8:49 PM · 04 Feb 18 1,789 Retweets 4,400 Likes

3.

Album cover - Rashed, 23

4.

Text - 88% ul AT&T ? 00:35 officialunitedstates things I know about brazil: • jungle • jesus statue hetaliagirl104 The Jesus is statue is in Rio, you uneducated swine officialunitedstates Equator BRAZIL Rio de Janeiro Tropic of Capricorn

5.

Text - Stan Lee was a bigot. He said Peter Parker could never be gay. So, stop with this Stan Lee worshiping. He not only refused to make spiderman queer, he also stated that Spiderman should never be gay. If you continue to idolize him, then you are just as bad. fangirlforallfandoms He said Peter Parker shouldn't be gay because the character wasn't written with the intention to be queer. There is more to LGBTQ+ inclusion that just queerwashing already established non-queer characters. And also,

6.

Text - Jen J A @capital_crab TOWN HAI My landlord wants to play but he picked the wrong tenant. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY 2m d actually under Nyc's housing maintenance code, subchapter 2, article 4 the landlord is legally obligated to eradicate bedbugs 1m 3:19 PM · 19 Dec 19 · Twitter Web App

7.

Text - Katie Mack @Astrokatie 15h Honestly climate change scares the heck out of me and it makes me so sad to see what we're losing because of it. 17 29 122 Gary P Jackson (RAT) @gary4205 @Astrokatie Maybe you should learn some actual SCIENCE then, and stop listening to the criminals pushing the #GlobalWarming SCAM! 7h 17 7 t3 Katie McGarvey Retweeted Katie Mack @Astrokatie @gary42051 dunno, man, I already went and got a PhD in astrophysics. Seems like more than that would be overkill at this po

8.

Text - grant @reydior 1d Billie Eilish turned 18 today and is already the top search on PornHub. waiting until a child if of age to start searching for pics and vids of her to masturbate to does not make you any less of a creepy weird fuck. stop sexualizing teenagers and children you sick fucks O 271K 9 1,029 2767.4K Pornhub ARIA O Porn hub @Pornhub Replying to @reydior This is not true. 11:42 AM 12/19/19 · Twitter for Android

9.

Text - Dan Broadbent @aSciEnthusiast Because the melting point of gold is 1064°C and a wood fire burns at around 600°C 18h After all the aftermath and destruction of the Notre Dame fire, the alter and cross remained untouched. Please explain to me how you don't believe in God after seeing this. 4:56 PM · 16 Apr 19 · Twitter for Android Dan Broadbent @aSciEnthusiast 1200° Fahrenheit is 650° Celsius, professor plying to @aSciEnthusiast Dan, you're a dumbass. That fire was probably burning at betwe

10.

Text - Tweet 6h v White person: haha I love the sopranos :) I love when the Italian clowns say "gabagool" haha :) that's do funny. Italian people are like clowns to me :) they exist for my white entertainment :) dance Italian clown :) dance for me :) O 88 O 2,748 27 288 man 5 DISCO AS F. mes Replying to I'm sorry to have to tell you this but. Italians are white 6:19 AM - 12/27/19 - Twitter for Android

11.

Text - When your joke backfires and you accidentally advance women's rights: HISTORY HUSTLE In 1887, a group of men added a woman named Susanna Salter to a mayoral ballot as a joke intended to humiliate women. Instead, she won over 60% of the vote and became America's first female mayor.

12.

Text - KILA KTLA 5 @KTLA A 5-year-old girl in Vista sold hot cocoa and cookies to pay the lunch debt of 123 students zoë a. @zoeasombra What is more heartwarming than a story about child labor helping 5 year olds pay off debt

13.

Natural environment - Vegas 420 • 6 hours ago I remember watching part one in theaters and I was holding a fart in, so I tried to let it out when I saw the monsters thinking it was going to be loud but it was a scene from the deaf girls point of view in silence and everybody heard it E 18 308 18 replies

14.

Text - "Well, there's no circle thingy with the slash through it, so I guess it's okay."

15.

Text - Studying an IT related course You? Tuesday 20:2o Pure chemistry Tuesday 21:00 That's awesome I tried telling a chemistry joke once, but i got no reaction Today 14:45 Haha what's the joke ?? May be I might understand it

16.

Text - Feb 14 at 2:47pm e Today my son Ethan came home with another homework from his wacko teacher. According to his teacher, we are all supposed to be "homosapiens". Lady you know nothing about Science I tell you what. There are people out there who consider themselves to be heterosapiens just like me and billions of people around the world. That lady sure is dumb. Just because she's one of them Lady Boys from Thailand doesn't mean we are all homosexuals. First thing tomorrow is giving that la

17.

Skin - @heckoffsupreme This woman got stuck in her bathtub for 30 minutes after bathing in coconut oil 'There is no traction. No grip. Just me and my fat body slipping around covered in oil.'»

18.

Christmas tree - Jesse Why do you have a framed picture of your ceiling fan? December 2 at 6:01 PM Like 63 Jesse December 2 at 6:01 PM Like Jesse I realize that is a mirror. December 2 at 6:01 PM- Like

19.

Text - My girlfriend is currently crying because she thought the $70 she wanted to spend on "adopting" a koala bear from the Australian brush fires was actually going to physically get her a koala bear. Like they would just Fedex that shit to us, and not just her become a sponsor. 8:32 PM 03 Jan 20 from Texas, USA Twitter for iPhone 28.5K Retweets 293K Likes

20.

Violet - Asia.Tingz @ AsianDreams Wtf is this? Frank Lotion @702Austin Its called do what you can to make your child happy

21.

Text - Anonymous 02/16/15(Mon)16:25:28 No.598678240 Making a plant illegal is like saying God was wrong Report >>598678572 # Anonymous 02/16/15(Mon)16:26:55 No.598678572 >>598678240 # Making a plant illegal was one of the first things God ever did... Report

22.

Text - Buckles and Bulls BULLS @BucklesandBulls 101-Year-Old Veteran Says Cold Coors Light Is The Secret To Long Life dlvr.it/ QszQKr Samuel Adams Beer @SamuelAdamsBeer Everyone already knows water is e good for you Imfao

23.

Transport - Anúncio Anúncio Ford 8791 НYO 8 Pick-up ano 77 Pick-up ano 77 R$35.000 R$35.000 24 outubro 19:20 24 outubro 19:20 O Granja Portugal - Fortaleza - Ceará O Granja Portugal - Fortaleza - Ceará Categoria Categoria Carros Carros

24.

Playground slide - niną @glocknina Who remembers these mfs? TYO OTODAY cole míller @C_millz6 who the fuck forgot slides

25.

Rock - The Moon is not a rock in space The Moon is it's own light source ROCKS DON'T REFLECT LIGHT NEITHER DOES THE MOON 12:17 AM 18.12.2019 Twitter Web App 66 Retweets 266 Likes 1 Cannonballer1 911 points - 2 hours ago I like how you can clearly see the rock reflecting light , Reply Give Award Share Report Save

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Dumb Questions People Were Asked


Sometimes we're just not thinking and sometimes people are really just flat-out stupid. There are a lot of really dumb questions that get asked. People have almost too many stories about dumb things people said to have their intelligence questioned.

1.

Text - Firethorn101 116 points · 22 hours ago "What did people in apartments do before stairs were invented?" "Is kingdom come a place in China?" Same person.

2.

Text - OtisLoom 109 points · 22 hours ago Lost in a new city, I stopped to ask directions. "I'm trying to locate the on-ramp to the westbound interstate, "I asked. The guy asked me, "Where are you starting from?"

3.

Text - SwimminAss 101 points · 20 hours ago "Are lizards animals?" This was a highschool senior. They weren't joking

4.

Text - Marise20 94 points · 22 hours ago I was at the main desk of the library I worked in at the time. I picked up the phone and the caller asked, with no preamble or context, "Is this the library down the street?"

5.

Text - LilyAllen10 81 points · 22 hours ago Having dinner in the dining hall at University. A friend asks me 'How big is a star? Could one fit in this room? I quietly let her know that one would probably not fit in the room...

6.

Text - moe_skweeto 1.9k points · 1 day ago *trying to move one of those big, multi purpose weight machines, and they noticed it's set to its heaviest setting* "Why don't we set it to its lightest setting so it'll be lighter?" To their credit, they realized about ten seconds later why that was a dumb question.

7.

Text - RuinEleint 1.2k points · 22 hours ago I am quite tall in comparison to the average height of where I live. A coworker: "Don't you think you are being a bit inconsiderate, being so tall?" I still don't know what they were trying to say

8.

Text - GuardPerson 1.1k points · 23 hours ago A: where can in find a security guard? Me: Security is located in the pavilion over there. They can be reached 24 hours a day. A: What if I need them at night?

9.

Text - throwaway6571265712 907 points · 23 hours ago I used to work in retail when I was 16. I was cashiering when a woman came up and gave me a coupon for 20% off the total purchase. When I told her the total she seemed displeased and asked me, "did it take 20% each item or the entire total?" And I had to desperately explain to her that it's the exact same thing.

10.

Text - saucy_awesome 642 points · 22 hours ago Customer buying a bottle of water at a coffee shop: "Is this real water?"

11.

Text - Hailene2092 589 points · 22 hours ago I was talking to someone and mentioned that I had visited Japan the previous year. "Oh, is that where Japanese people come from?" I was taken aback for like 3 seconds before I stammered out a yeah.

12.

Text - havensal 555 points · 23 hours ago Was the IT admin for a small company at the time. The power went out, as happens occasionally. The secretary rang my phone and asked me if the phones were working. She did not say she was testing to see, but asked if they were working. over. the. phone.

13.

Text - toothpastenachos 499 points · 22 hours ago I was the one asking the stupid question. When I was like 12 I was at a taco food truck at the county fair and my options were either a shrimp or chicken taco. I meant to ask "is there a difference in price" because the fair always gets ya and instead I only said "what's the difference?" The lady said "Well one's shrimp and one's chicken." And I felt stupid.

14.

Text - Yoliwankenobi12 489 points · 23 hours ago When someone asked me where I'm from and I said "Venezuela" their response was "what part of Africa that in?"

15.

Text - AhmeBob 351 points · 23 hours ago Working in a bar with an upstairs and downstairs, one of the new waiting staff at the end of the night during clean up asked me if she should sweep the dirt up or down the stairs. I said up the stairs and left her to it.

16.

Text - labbykun 294 points · 21 hours ago My friend and I went to a gas station while out cruising around and she bought some munchies. She put a five on the counter and the cashier stared down at it like she'd never seen such a thing exist, and asked, without moving.. "Is that a 5?" To this day I have no idea why she was so flummoxed by a five dollar bill sitting next to her cash register.

17.

Text - Kabufu 289 points · 21 hours ago "Is okay to swim with a dead dog in the pool?" -Phone call I took while working at a pool store. And no. No, it is not okay to swimming with a dead dog in the pool.

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Text - M1XRR 267 points · 21 hours ago I was born on an AirForce base. I remember in school one day we were doing one of those about you things that the teachers always assign on the first day and I put the base I was born on in the spot that asks where you're born. We then share it to the class (6th grade) and some kid dead serious asked me "so if you were born on an AirForce base were you born on the runway or something?" *The base had a hospital and my dad was active duty when I was born that

19.

Text - Canpede 217 points · 1 day ago · edited 15 hours ago A friend asked stupid question to a Scottish man while we were on holiday from Canada. We were watching a boat go through a lock. Him to Scottish guy: which way do the boats go through the lock? Scottish guy: which way is the boat pointed? Him: good point.

20.

Text - berly456 183 points · 22 hours ago I have been asked many times "are you identical?" when telling someone I (a girl) have a twin brother. Well.. No. I have also been asked when his birthday is when discussing my birthday.

21.

Text - stopstealingmyname 149 points · 20 hours ago "What are eggs made of?". Not like chemical make up, but if they had flour in them. Cause of the whites. If they had butter in them. Cause of the yolk. This kid (23 y/o) was a box of bricks.

22.

Text - Drowsiest_Approval 128 points · 23 hours ago "Where do you find the calorie info on shampoo? I can't find it."

23.

Text - room32a 123 points · 21 hours ago My mom asked me if Florida is in California. We're Canadian and she's been to both states.

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Comedy Gold From The Antiques Roadshow


Shoutout to @KeatonPatti for the beautiful work on the captions with these various treasures from the antiques roadshow. They're absolutely inaccurate, but still seem like they could be on point at the same time. Now that is art. 

1.

Event - 42 PRINTS& OTO IS, PAINTI DRAWI Coat That If Touched Loses All Value $0-$0 AR

2.

First Openly Gay Vase $7,000-$10,000 FAR

3.

Games - Doll That Will Kill Again $600-$700 AR @KeatonPatti

4.

Footwear - First Draft of Air Jordans AR $7,000-$8,000 @KeatonPatti

5.

Eual World's Worst Umbrella AR $20-$50 @KeatonPatti

6.

Games - Just Normal Things $5,000-$7,000 AR OKeatonPati

7.

Hot air balloon - Loud Flower $2,000-$5,000 AR @KeatonPatti

8.

Musical instrument - * ** INSTRUMENTS Cool Old Lady w/ Sad Kid AR $18,000-$20,000 @KeatonPatti

9.

Basque rural sports - The First Ever Uber $7,000-$8,000 AR @KeatonPatti

10.

Metal - Adam & Eve's Pizza Cutters $7,000-$9,000 AR @KeatonPatti

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Photo caption - Swan Just Learning it's a Vase AR $2,000-$4,000 QKeatonPatti

12.

Speech - JEWELRY Either of These Things $50-$75 AR @KeatonPatti

13.

Bell - Only Photo of The Authentic Taco Bell $22,000-$25,000 AR @KeatonPatti

14.

Dinosaur - The Worst Owl $18,000-$20,000 AR

15.

Portrait - I Can't Paint Necks (1885) $2,000-$4,000 AR @KeatonPatti

16.

Musical instrument - Bowl Jesus Threw Up In Twice $40,000-$55,000 FAR

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Headgear - The Worst Thing We Could Find $0.05-$0.06 AR @KeatonPatti

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Statue - Sassiest Statue On Earth (You Can't Afford It, Honey) AR @KeatonPatti

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Nose - Oy, Mista! You Me Dad? Doll $40-$70 AR @KeatonPatti

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Banner - Prints RS PROTOGRAPHS ... SPORT\ COL CIE TINL Camera Guy We Fired $10-$15 AR @KeatonPatti

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Painting - l'll Finish This Later (1973) $400-$800 AR @KeatonPatti

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Pope - Chicken Man's Dress $4,000-$6,000 VAR @KeatonPatti

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World - Statue That Just Found Out It's A Statue $15,000-$20,000 AR

24.

"Fresh" Lettuce from Subway $0.25-$0.35 TAR QKeatonPatti

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