FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 09/19/20

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Employee Pranks Boss, Boss Pulls The Reverse UNO Card

What began as a silly spider prank, evolved into a rollercoaster of unforeseen circumstances. Just picturing a prank backfiring to such an extent that you're literally staring at your boss who looks like he's having a heart attack, is enough to give anyone with a decent head on their shoulders, the fear. As it turns out though, this boss was merely taking the prank to the next level, and pulling the iconic reverse UNO card. Did the boss take it too far, by letting things play out for as long as he did? Maybe so. At least we got this story out of the experience.

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Text - r/tifu + Join u/prankeyprank • 1d TIFU by putting my boss in the hospital M I'm typing this from home as my work unexpectedly received a half-day for my antics. So my boss and I have been having a little prank war. Nothing extravagant nothing harmful: just fun little office pranks to keep spirits up. I work in corporate insurance so most of my day is spent behind a desk and it gets very boring at times.

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Text - Well my boss pranked me good last week with the help of an IT guy that sent an email which the font size in the email slowly decreased and then all the sudden a picture of a baboons ass popped up with a farting noise (which my boss made sure the sound was all the way up on my little desk speakers). Scared the crap out of me and made my coworkers laugh. Anyway, I'm thinking I gotta get him back. My buddy works on the same floor but has permission to come in a little earlier as he is in man

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Text - I waited until after lunch to spring my trap. I walked into his office "what's up boss Blah Blah blah." Hes sitting at his desk, prime position for a spider drop down. Sol go to tie my shoe and unhook the fishing line that I taped to the leg of his desk. I started lowering the spider. Eventually the spider comes down and touches his nose. He starts freaking out and falls out of his chair clutching his chest gasping for air. I just kinda stood there in shock like "SHIT!" Anyway, paramedics

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Text - TIFUPDATE putting my boss in the hospital M So l'll begin where I left off yesterday. original post if you haven't seen it Paramedics loaded my boss onto a wheeled stretcher (or whatever they call them) and put him in the back of an ambulance to go off to the hospital. I seriously thought that he was in big trouble because the paramedics were treating him like he was having a severe heart attack. He looked like he was on the verge of dying as they loaded him up.

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Text - Anyway, afterwards my other manager tells us all to go home. It was Labor Day so there weren't that many people working. I go home and am freaking out, nervous as hell until my manager called me and told me my boss was stable but it was close. "Come in tomorrow for work at 10am we need to have a discussion" At this point l'm double freaking out because l'm thinking "shit l'm going to get fired over a stupid ass spider prank." I get into work at about 950 and I make the dreaded trip up to

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Text - He takes me to my bosses office. Which I thought he was going to ask what the spider on the fishing line was doing there and then, after I answered, fire me. Door was already open and after I walk in my manager tells me to take a seat and then he closes the door after I step in (he stayed out). I sat down, pretty much sweating out of my clothes and all the sudden, to add insult to injury, my boss sneaks up behind me and yells "THOUGHT I WAS DEAD HUH!!!" Well at that point I basically shit

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Text - At this point I'm both relieved, terrified, and just generally shook. And he sits down and tells me how he did it. Apparently the manager (my buddy from last post) that let me in early on Labor Day told him about my entire plan. My boss knew about the spider and pretty much planned around my move The fucker literally let a bunch of workers have a half day to foil my prank and got his EMT buddy to make a quick stop by to "treat his heart attack." I'm never pranking my boss again. On a good

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Tagged: boss , employee , FAIL , prank , tifu , Reddit

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Students Mess With Teacher's Plants, Teacher Takes Pro Revenge

This teacher/dad used his apparent superpower of not being affected by poison ivy, poison oak, or poison sumac to teach some rascal students a valuable lesson in not messing with people's plants. Just picturing their faces when they learned about the stunt that dad had pulled is enough to put a smile on the face. Outside of that glorious lesson, this dad is well on his way to being Poison Ivy's most feared enemy.

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/Zeldaspellfactory • 1y Just Desserts for Destroying Teachers' Plants This happened to my father, not me. I find it rather funny and definitely ProRevenge. My father was a teacher. He taught several subjects during his career, and spent the last fifteen years teaching science. He spent most of his career teaching the more difficult students. One year the teachers were all upset because students kept killing their plants by ripping off the leaves.

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Text - My dad wasn't really fond of plants. Even though he didn't like having a lot of plants around the house, he started thinking of ways to get the kids to stop killing the other teachers' plants. Finally he came up with a way to teach the kids not to mess with plants. A few days later, he put 3 potted plants by the window in his classroom. He had a sign by the plants warning kids not to touch the plants because they were dangerous. He told every class that they were to leave the plants alone

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Text - He made sure to check the plants near the end of every class. 2 days after putting the plants out, he noticed that a lot of the leaves were missing from one plant. He had all the students line up against a wall and he checked all of the desks for leaves. He didn't find any of them. The next day, two students come in before school with their parents. They want to know what kind of plants he had. They had horrible rashes all over their hands and groin area. Their parents were quite upset at

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Text - My father told the parents that every class was warned to not ever touch the plants. He showed them where the sign was and let them see the very clear warning. Then he asked the boys how they got rashes in that area? The boys had to tell their parents that they ripped leaves off of the plants of every teacher they had, and that they thought the sign was just to keep kids away from the plants. When the whole class was lined up so that everything could be searched to find out who destroyed

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Text - The boys missed several days of school until the rash cleared up. My father then told each class that the plants were poison ivy. It taught the entire class not to mess with other people's plants. You never know what might happen. It stopped the plant destruction for that year. Of course the administration made a rule that you could not have dangerous plants in the classroom. No one thought to make a rule about this because most people do not plant poison ivy in pots and take them to scho

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Tagged: plants , satisfying , revenge , awesome , education , Reddit , karma , win

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Dumb and Clever Puns to Love and Hate

Puns are one of those things that even though you might hate, you can't really avoid. Try as you might to avoid them and yell at the people who bring them into your life, but someone will always come back with a sackful of puns to spill all over your life. They're both incredibly clever and horribly dumb at the same time.

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Motor vehicle - Come home quick, the dog had an accident! What kind of accident?! HEW He forgot to put the car in Bark I literally hate you

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Soil - Day 47 of quarantine: I started growing my own pot.

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Bowl - Babe, look what I bought! What is this?! - It's a pan, duh!

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Meringue - Iwas watching an Australian cookery show and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue I was surprised as Australians normally boo meringue

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Text - 50 Shades of Grain Porn Flakes Special D Rice Frisky Captain munch Cheery Hoes Adult cereals kory

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Tattoo - Doctor: Which knee hurts? Ме: De

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Archery - HAVE YOU EVER TRIED BLIND- FOLDED ARCHERY? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING

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Vegetable - why couldn't the green pepper practice archery? ...because it didn't habanero

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Material property - I BOUGHT A WOODEN WHISTLE BUT IT WOODEN WHISTLE SOI BOUGHT A STEEL WHISTLE BUT IT STEEL W0ODEN WHISTLE THEN I BOUGHT A LEAD WHISTLE BUT IT STEEL WOODEN LEAD ME WHISTLE

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Text - "There is no iron in the iron you use to iron shirts. Which is, ironically, both ironic and un-ironic" - Jeremy Irons English Teacher:

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Text - When a star goes supernova: STAR WA S D

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Child - Mama, is this safe to eat? No, it's for storing valuable objects Centryate

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Text - neutralnewt: iiiarclight: how to be cool A) cool sunglasses emoji B) is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format

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Face - My van *gets stolen* Me: Where did my

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People - If you think taming raptors is hard. INAGINEORAGONS

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Shed - Jonathan Richardson @MrsJonJo I'm presuming the people who live here make excellent milkshakes

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Text - Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club. It was open Mike night.

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Vehicle - I hope this dude is going STRAIGHT home... made with mematic

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Horse - I have always wanted to own a pure bread horse

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Vehicle - HANDY JUAN IF JUAN CANT FIX IT NO JUAN CAN.

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Material property - SHARE Coke WITH America Pablo Escobar: Don't mind if I do.

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Transport - Nosure what her religion is, but.lettuce pray for her.

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Dog breed - I almost forgot my briefcase! it contains important lab results

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Tagged: clever , dad jokes , puns , lol , ridiculous , silly , dumb , funny , stupid

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Interviewer Mixes Up Keanu Reeves' Character, Loses All Cred

The way that Keanu Reeves decides to handle this completely innocent little slip up just makes us love him more. He really turned into Ted there for a sec.

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Tagged: wholesome , keanu reeves , actor , interview , funny , Video

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Twitter Thread: Student Finds Life Changing Teacher On Twitter

Positive teachers that genuinely care about the well being of their students, as well as cultivating in them a legitimate passion for learning, are some of the most cherished human beings on the planet. As can be expected, a fair number of kids resist the idea of school, hitting the books, and keeping up with all that homework. Put the right teacher in front of them that can get them excited about the whole academic process, and you might actually end up with more stories like this wholesome gem from Raifa Rafiq.

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Text - Raifa Rafiq @RaifaRafiq OMFG! Guys. There was literally a teacher at school who I loved so dearly (English teacher - she left when I was in year 10) and I don't even know why but randomly decided to do internet stalkies because l've always wanted to find her and thank her because gosh l love her.

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Text - Raifa Rafiq @RaifaRafiq Anyways, successfully found her twitter (didn't know her first name until I remembered a teacher calling her Jenny one day -I searched my memory hard). It's been 10 years and she looks so different and l've only just confirmed it's her because she went to Clares College...

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Text - Raifa Rafiq @RaifaRafiq And I was obsessed with Clares College Cambridge because of her. And I don't know why but I got teary seeing her picture and so proud of her she's a head teacher - I want to message her like hey I love you, and you changed the course of my life - but don't want to sound stupid.

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Text - Raifa Rafiq @RaifaRafiq Also if she doesn't remember be l'll be mad (LOL - I like to think I made her teaching experience brilliant too). Omg. I'm just going to reach out and dm her. wish me luck

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Text - Raifa Rafiq @RaifaRafiq I don't know why I want to cry 6:20 am · 8/9/20 · Twitter for iPhone 6 Retweets 286 Likes Raifa Rafiq @RaifaRafiq · 19h Replying to @RaifaRafiq Gosh l'm so nervous my legs are jelly. So this is what it must feel like to move to a man <]

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Text - Jenny Thompson @DTA_JThompson Replying to @RaifaRafiq @RaifaRafiq let me message you first to say I loved you way more than you could ever have loved me - you changed MY life. I am so proud of who you are but it is also no surprise to me - you were born to change the game

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Text - Raifa Rafiq @RaifaRafiq Replying to @DTA_JThompson OMG Miss Thompson HI V I've wanted to say so many things to you over the years but all in all, I'm so grateful you were put in my path because I needed you exactly when you arrived and I'm grateful to you, you made me fall in love with learning, expanded my world and my future.

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Tagged: wholesome , twitter , faith in humanity , awesome , teacher , social media , education

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Ways People Trolled Their Bosses Without Breaking Rules

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the various ways that people managed to troll their bosses without actually breaking the rules. You've got to hand it to anyone that puts in the time and effort to troll someone, and manages to pull that trolling off while still playing things by the book.

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Text - InsanelnTheManBrain • 8y This story is about my buddy's father, a former university prof. At one time, the university instituted a dress code forcing professors to wear ties. In protest, he bought the most lewd, ridiculous and outrageous ties he could find. Fish ties, dick ties, piano keyboard ties. He became something of a hero to his students who regularly bought him the most offending or off- colour ties they came across. The university ended up rescinding the dress code. He passed awa

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Text - TitzMcG33 • 8y My brother in law worked for UPS for 17 years. He was a bit of a joker and was constantly getting in trouble for coming to work with crazy hair colors, or cornrows (he was a big Italian guy and was told it wasn't appropriate). It was always something. But they couldn't say anything about him wearing sunglasses. So his little rebellion was he would wear the most outrageous sunglasses he could think of. Ones shaped like giant red lips, guitars with the stems sticking up, purp

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Text - SergeantKoopa • 8y A couple of friends of mine work at Wal-Mart. They found out that kilts are well within the dress code as long as they are the correct color. Drove their managers nuts. It's been a year and absolutely no problems though. :) 1.4k ...

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Text - [deleted] • 8y while I was in the Navy it was recommended that I get a extensive surgery on my ankle. My command felt that I "didn't deserve a bunch of time off for a surgery" so they said they would approve it but none of the convalescent leave. They refused to sign ANY paperwork. First thing I did was hit them with the regulation stating that they were required to respond to all requests within a certain amount of time (3 days I think). They responded with a "no". So then I had Navy leg

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Text - heymrk • 8y I used to work for this small town, twice weekly newspaper. The editor/publisher, mayor, county commissioner and a few other people were skimming tax dollars. When I confronted my boss about it, he told me he'd blackball me if I said anything. So I went to the local television station, tipped them off and they uncovered the story. When they won their awards, my name was added to the list of reporters. I still can't get a job as a journalist, but damn if it didn't feel good. 1.

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Text - risto1116 • 8y Used to work at a TV station. Absolutely awful management and horrible bosses. Complained about it to friends all the time. Some would even ask me on facebook about my job and I would reply- but I knew I could get fired for speaking ill of the company. So I read the HR Handbook and found out as long as I don't specifically name the company, I can't be fired for it. So, about a month later, I realize I can't take this shit anymore and post on facebook how terrible my job is,

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Text - sith6six • 8y Worked in one corporate kitchen where our GM didn't like our music so he would put on children's music, so we all started singing a long at the top of our lungs...We won that war of attrition. Years later in another kitchen we had surround sound in a closed kitchen where the uppity GM did not like our music and started passing draconian censorship rules about the music...so we switched it to children's music for a week. moral of the story never underestimate the power of a k

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Text - GrandOak • 8y back when I was working and attending classes I would go stright from campus to work, getting me there anywhere from 10-20 minutes early before my shift. On occassion my boss would ask me to help him out with something before I clock on, putting something away or answering the phone. Over the span of a couple months, this evolved from 'occassionally' to "every day your shift starts when you get here". After doing this for a couple weeks (still clocking in at my usual 3pm) I

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Text - Illyich • 8y Not my story, but a co-worker: Worked at a waterpark. Supervisor was a bitch who wouldn't let the lead guards at the top of the tallest slide in the park go to the bathroom. Guard at the top is radio-ing that he needs to take a shit, but she won't let him. Mind you, the lead guards are allowed to ride down every once in a while to make sure no tubes are stuck. Lead guard is about to shit his pants in front of a ton of guests, so he goes into the utility closet and shits in a

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Text - chappe • 8y My father was working in a post office in the early 80's. It was an unusually hot day with ~85°F inside. There were no fans available so it was crazy. Men weren't allowed to wear shorts, but dad came to work wearing shorts which covered his knees and a part of his shin, figuring he was fine. He wasn't, and his boss sent him home to change. He returned in his grandfather's bonjour from the late 19th century. Top hat and all. The boss kept asking if it wasn't a little hot in tha

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Text - MyOwnPath • 8y At my old school, they had rules about hair length (guys), and our teacher got anal about it. The only actual rules were that they couldn't pass our eyebrows or collar-area. Being the witty douchebag I am, I used a shit ton of gel to slick up my hair and do obnoxious things with it. It was all raised, so it never crossed my eyebrows or collar. I got away with it for 2 months, until the principal changed the rules! All just for me :D 580 ...

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Text - deliverusfromEVI • 8y I work in foodservice. My job created a rule one day that one's hair can not touch one's collar. I have rather long hair, but I always kept it in a braid and we wear hats, anyways. I was informed of this rule about two hours before the end of my shift, and told that I HAD to comply IMMEDIATELY because I was breaking health code. I politely informed them that no, I was not. This was a store policy -- but I would be happy to come in with my hair up the next day. I didn

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Text - ololcopter • 8y Boss told me "you have to cover X this upcoming weekend, both days, since everybody else said no." I said "How do you know l'll say yes?" He said "you have to, there's nobody left." I said, "You're wrong, I'm left. But I quit. Now there's nobody left." He was speechless, his expression was priceless, I stood there about 10 seconds and said, "I'm walking away now" and left. Thank God this happened the day after I had (secretly) secured a better job. Probably one of my fonde

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Text - jepense • 8y I work at Panera, and we were recently told we had to get non-slip/slip-resistant shoes, else risk being fired. Rather than buying the ugly black kind all of my coworkers got, I got a bright purple pair of Doc Martens. All of the managers gave me a "d_d are those slip-resistant?" You bet, motherfuckers. 347 ...

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Text - jural • 8y Similar to OP, but with a military swag to it. In the Navy you must always have a white t-shirt under your uniform. I had a Senior Chief who constantly checked if your t-shirt was not visible and required that it bee seen. I checked the uniform regs and found that while in a working uniform you can wear a V-neck tee. Started wearing them and he took notice as soon as he saw me. I told him that the regs allowed it. He scowled and his only comment was, "One for the blue shirts" a

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Text - 1stOnRt1 • 8y When I was in grade 4, pizza was sold at lunch for $1.50 a slice I saw a business opportunity and went to the Little Caesars a stones throw away from the school and bought 10 Hot'N'Ready 5$ pizzas and sold the slices for $1.00 (1.25 on friday). When the school told me I couldnt sell pizza on school property, I moved my office to my aunts house which was next door, so every day at lunch the kids would walk to the neighbours front yard, buy pizza and come back to school :) I w

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Tagged: rules , boss , employee , job , trolling , askreddit , Reddit , company

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Radical Retorts From Clever Wordsmiths

We love us some clever comebacks from the online world's spicy silver tongues. As long as there's a comments section or people insist on clogging up social media feeds with mindless tweets and statuses that could've used a second set of eyes, and a dash of logic, we'll have other folks waiting eagerly nearby, ready to light them up in the comments section. We've also got that gem from the legend, Stephen Hawking. Check out some more confidence-shattering comebacks and insults over here.

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Photography - You've stated that you believe that there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean there is universe out there where i am smarter than you? Cintel Yes

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Photography - al (inte And also a universe where you're funny intel

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Photography - Text - Our Latin class has Latin textbooks from 1994 Oh I'm sorry I didn't know Latin changed since then 00:14 I'll call Caesar myself to check what the new fucking verbs are 00:14

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Photography - Text - Jon Cryer O @MrJonCryer · 11h Is that why, after he left, it lasted for 4 more years and I won an Emmy for Best Actor in a Comedy? Matt Gaetz O @mattgaetz · 12h 2 US House candidate, FL-1 Charlie Sheen totally carried two and a half men.

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Photography - Text - Atheists, if God isn't real, how do you explain walking on water? Can you walk on water like Jesus? Like · Comment · Tuesday at 7:49 AM 76 people like this. Yes. Tuesday at 7:49 AM Like 3 3 Show me a video of you walking on water. Tuesday at 7:52 AM · Like I don't need to. You just need to have faith that I did. Tuesday at 7:52 AM Like 10

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Photography - Text - Yesterday at 2:15 PM · O If we all just switched to cursive and stick shift cars, we could cripple an entire generation O Like Comment Share 20.6K and 28.8K others shared this I love how you all talk shit about a generation you raised like it's their fault and not yours. 228 17h Like Reply Write a comment... GIF

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Photography - Text - 4 days ago Hey jackass, we use MPH in this country. 1 ^ | v 12 Reply 3 days ago Wheels is an Australian magazine, we use metric measurements. 12 ^ | v Reply 16 hours ago You're on the internet, which is American. Therefore you can use American (the best) measurements. ^| v6 Reply 3 hours ago Attually, the world wide web was first developed in CERN. I don't blame you for not knowing that, you're apparently an American.

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Photography - Text - taylorlawson05 It's pronounced Gif not Jif 1d 1162 jonathansanchez922 ♡ 270 Disagree 18h joose_wurld 278 Reply to jonathansanchez922:lf god himself descended from heaven with 100 angels behind him and said it was "jif" I would look him in the eyes and say “ok jod" and walk into hell 16h

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Photography - Text - ΜΙΚEΥ why are you so sad? There's so much goodness in the world! I don't know Ava why do you have asthma there's so much air in the world

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Photography - Cartoon - nobody told you to bring that heavy backpack and nobody told you to bring that nasty attitude either, but I'm stuck with both solovalker MY BOIII JAMES

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Photography - Text - Chase @chaselyons Walmart: can you please stop stealing from us?: Мe: no 9:38 pm · 25/02/2020 · Twitter for iPhone 2,212 Retweets 25.3K Likes Walmart @Walmart - 12h Replying to @chaselyons Why do you keep stealing eggplant, Chase? 15 2778 1,115

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Photography - Text - @gbg_buckss i offered this girl some noodles after sex and she had the nerve to say "SO EVERYTHING'S 2 MINUTES HERE?"

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Photography - Text - egberts nentindo Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson 12m The Leap Day is misnamed. We're not leaping anywhere. The calendar is simply, and abruptly, catching up with Earth's orbit 17 1,621 2,210 Matt Bruenig @MattBruenig @neiltyson if only there was a name for a sudden and abrupt lurch forward 2/29/16, 7:46 AM 15 LIKES Source: kingjaffejoffer 33,039 notes ... A

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Photography - Text - augenwiehimmel • 11h Buzz Aldrin - the second person to set foot on the moon - claimed $ 33.31 in travel expenses: Houston > Cape Kennedy > the Moon > Pacific Ocean > Hawaii > Houston. * Reply 1.7k Ginsu_Viking • 5h Yep. Up through the Space Shuttle missions at least, astronauts were allowed to claim a basic travel allowance. One of the early astronauts attempted to claim mileage as well and was promptly given a bill for "government-provided accommodations" i.e. the spacecra

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Photography - Text - Mtimande @Apz_Ngwenya Some guy in my lecture just offered me his jacket cause l was shivering...Iwould have taken the jacket if he was cute Yeah, whatever. @Keith_a_Trip Maybe the cute ones would have offered if they thought you were also cute.

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Photography - Text - What should you never say to a British person? it, MSc Planetary Science, University of Colorado Boulder (2013) Answered May 24 · Upvoted by Mike Walker, lives in The United Kingdom (1963-present) and Steffen Taschner, lives in The United Kingdom (2004- present) I remember sitting in a bar in Boulder, Colorado with some fellow graduate students, one of whom was English (I'm Scottish). One of the American students asked us "don't you think it's weird that it's 2012 and the UK

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Photography - Text - elizabitchtaylor When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask her "Why aren't you married yet?" and she'd reply "Just lucky, I guess" which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard

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Photography - Text - Imagine that you woke up in the body of a person you can't stand. I wake up like this every morning.

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Photography - Text - Wendy's O @Wendys When literally anything would be better on a bun than their beef. now ComicBook NOW! O @ComicBook.. · 2d BURGER KING is testing a sandwich with nothing but french fries:

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Photography - Nose - MinnieLitty @ShaniceSJeff - 20h v Replying to @Wendys Please tell me this is a joke t7 61 1,312 S 3 Wendy's @Wendys 20h their whole restaurant is Medium Small Large OOF SIZE

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Tagged: witty comebacks , social media , ridiculous , clever comebacks , insult , Reddit , funny

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