Saturday, September 19, 2020

Dumb and Clever Puns to Love and Hate


Puns are one of those things that even though you might hate, you can't really avoid. Try as you might to avoid them and yell at the people who bring them into your life, but someone will always come back with a sackful of puns to spill all over your life. They're both incredibly clever and horribly dumb at the same time.

1.

Motor vehicle - Come home quick, the dog had an accident! What kind of accident?! HEW He forgot to put the car in Bark I literally hate you

2.

Soil - Day 47 of quarantine: I started growing my own pot.

3.

Bowl - Babe, look what I bought! What is this?! - It's a pan, duh!

4.

Ceiling - No one: Beatboxers:

5.

Meringue - Iwas watching an Australian cookery show and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue I was surprised as Australians normally boo meringue

6.

Text - 50 Shades of Grain Porn Flakes Special D Rice Frisky Captain munch Cheery Hoes Adult cereals kory

7.

Tattoo - Doctor: Which knee hurts? Ме: De

8.

Archery - HAVE YOU EVER TRIED BLIND- FOLDED ARCHERY? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING

9.

Vegetable - why couldn't the green pepper practice archery? ...because it didn't habanero

10.

Material property - I BOUGHT A WOODEN WHISTLE BUT IT WOODEN WHISTLE SOI BOUGHT A STEEL WHISTLE BUT IT STEEL W0ODEN WHISTLE THEN I BOUGHT A LEAD WHISTLE BUT IT STEEL WOODEN LEAD ME WHISTLE

11.

Text - "There is no iron in the iron you use to iron shirts. Which is, ironically, both ironic and un-ironic" - Jeremy Irons English Teacher:

12.

Text - When a star goes supernova: STAR WA S D

13.

Child - Mama, is this safe to eat? No, it's for storing valuable objects Centryate

14.

Text - neutralnewt: iiiarclight: how to be cool A) cool sunglasses emoji B) is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format

15.

Face - My van *gets stolen* Me: Where did my

16.

Tree - No one: Black bear-y bush:

17.

People - If you think taming raptors is hard. INAGINEORAGONS

18.

Shed - Jonathan Richardson @MrsJonJo I'm presuming the people who live here make excellent milkshakes

19.

Text - Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club. It was open Mike night.

20.

Vehicle - I hope this dude is going STRAIGHT home... made with mematic

21.

Horse - I have always wanted to own a pure bread horse

22.

Vehicle - HANDY JUAN IF JUAN CANT FIX IT NO JUAN CAN.

23.

Material property - SHARE Coke WITH America Pablo Escobar: Don't mind if I do.

24.

Transport - Nosure what her religion is, but.lettuce pray for her.

25.

Dog breed - I almost forgot my briefcase! it contains important lab results

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