Saturday, August 22, 2020

Man Takes Revenge On Boss, Steals All Of His Employees


Some bosses turn mean and petty when they realize that their employees are about to hit the road and head for greener pastures, with greener paychecks. In this case, the guy's boss decided to turn into a petty piece of work upon learning that he was going to lose him as an employee. The guy decided to one up his boss on the petty antics, and ended up stealing all of his boss' employees. All it took was offering them a bit better pay. The fact that the boss didn't have any of their phone numbers definitely speaks volumes to the kind of "business" that he was "running." 

For some more revenge drama, check out this lazy truck driver who tried (and failed hard) to fake an injury to get out of work.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/Smoe6696 • 1h + Join Don't want to return my tools or pay me? Enjoy losing your business This is my repost from O r/pettyrevenge that might be better suited for this subreddit, anyways... I'm a trade painter that worked for around 5 years essentially running a company for an owner who took a very hands off approach, he was essentially a name and working capitol and not much else. After getting an offer to work for a bigger commercial company and my old bosses realization he

2.

Text - try and make me stay. Made me run around the world to receive my final pay which I never even got and refused to return my tools spread throughout various jobs. Revenge time. As luck would have it another even better offer from an even bigger company ended up in my lap that wanted to subcontract me a very substantial amount of their work, but Im going to need more employees for that. Hmmm. So I go through and call each and every member of the original company and offer them a 3 dollar an

3.

Text - was so hands off he didn't even have employees phone numbers to call and ask them Imao. He's essentially without employees and little to no tools to complete any jobs at this point. Fast forward 6 months and his company has now closed, he's lost all his work. His new addition to his house has come to a grinding halt half way though construction, he's hurting big time. I never got my last check, but I did get a great group of workers and a company of my own, so I guess l'll just call it ev

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Professional Mariner Has Cool Quora Answer


It's kind of hard not to read this dude's response in the voice of an old grizzled sea captain, stinking of brine. For some other interesting nautical stuff, here are stories of the creepiest things people saw at sea. For some reason having been on the water a long time lends you a bunch of character.

1.

Text - Quora Open in App Sign In In the open ocean, does the surface ever go still like glass like a lake on a windless day?

2.

Text - Jonathan Reiter, Retired Professional Mariner Answered October 19, 2019 · Author has 3.9K answers and 1.7M answer views Let's define the term 'like glass', first. It would be as smooth as a poured glass surface, with no swell, no vesper of breeze, no ripples, no movement of any kind, whatsoever. I've been in the doldrums, the Pacific gyre, all up and down the Atlantic and Pacific coasts, across the Indian Ocean, and most mid-oceans. INA

3.

Text - I can only attest personally, that l've experienced this phenomenon July 4, 1974, leaving Port Everglades at 8 pm, and motoring across the Gulfstream to Bimini, in the Bahamas. True glass like conditions. Once, in over 50 years. 68 views View 6 Upvoters · Answer requested by Frederick Mikkelsen

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Utterly Delightful Dad Jokes


There's a special place in our hearts for the good old fashioned dad jokes of the world. They're simple and unavoidably entertaining. Always good to bank on the dad jokes the next time a social gathering could use a little icebreaker. 

1.

Text - My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially when his name is Steve.

2.

Text - Child: I can't stand your jokes anymore, dad! Dad: Have you tried sitting down?

3.

Text - MARCH COMMERCIAL: during these uncertain times, we're thinking of you and your family AUGUST COMMERCIAL: look you might as well catch it at burger king

4.

Text - Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times. Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep.

5.

Text - A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says,"l think I might be a type O."

6.

Text - Tonce got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him. The odds were against me.

7.

Text - It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.

8.

Text - The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, soI moved the modem to the barn. Now I have stable wifi.

9.

Text - Have you heard the joke about Elton John? it's a little bit funny.

10.

Text - A man was found guilty of overusing commas. The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.

11.

Text - Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian... It was the least I could do for him.

12.

Text - My dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words... Be positive.

13.

Text - This is going to be the first year our family won't be going to Hawaii because of COVID-19. Usually it's because we can't afford it.

14.

Text - I alled my wife and asked her if I should pick up Fish and Chips on the way home from work and she hung up.. She's still angry she let me name the kids.

15.

Text - My wife really hates the fact that I have no sense of direction... Sol packed up my stuff and right.

16.

Text - I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was too uncommon. I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.

17.

Text - A man has been stealing the wheels off police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch him.

18.

Text - I changed all my passwords to Kenny. Now I have all Kenny Loggins.

19.

Grass - I was going to sit in the garden but it's really muggy outside...

20.

Text - I went bald early in life... Thave a comb... Ijust can't part with it.

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Ron Burgandy Joins Australian News Show Live


That Ron Burgundy never misses a beat. He's just as funny off the script. 

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Twitter Thread: Man Meets Wife At Graveyard


Twitter user, @sixthformpoet's story about finding love at a graveyard went viral, and it's no surprise. The story is riddled with unexpected craziness. The dude realizes he's been leaving flowers for a murderer! As much as we'd love for a wild tale of unexpected love like this to be true, it would seem that it has since then been proven to very likely be a work of fiction.

1.

Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet ONE My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so l visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON'T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]

2.

Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet I always took flowers and my mum visited a lot and she always took flowers and my grandparents were still alive then and they always took flowers. My dad's grave frequently resembled a solid third place at the Chelsea Flower Show.

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Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet Nice but I felt bad for the guy buried next to my dad. He NEVER had flowers. Died on Christmas Day aged 37, no one left him flowers and now there's a pop- up florist in the grave next door. So l started buying him flowers. I STARTED BUYING FLOWERS FOR A DECEASED MAN I'D NEVER MET.

4.

Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet I did this for quite some time, but I never mentioned it to anyone. It was a little private joke with myself, I was making the world a better place one bunch of flowers at a time. I know it sounds weird but I came to think of him as a friend.

5.

Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet I wondered if there was a hidden connection between us, something secretly drawing me to him. Maybe we went to the same school, played for the same football club or whatever. So I googled his name, and ten seconds later I found him.

6.

Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet His wife didn't leave him flowers BECAUSE HE'D MURDERED HER. ON CHRISTMAS DAY. After he murdered his wife, he murdered her parents too. And after that he jumped in front of the only train going through Balcombe tunnel that Christmas night.

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Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet THAT was why no one ever left him flowers. No one except me, of course. I left him flowers. I left him flowers every couple of weeks. Every couple of weeks FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS.

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Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet I felt terrible for his wife and her parents. Now, I wasn't going to leave them flowers every couple of weeks for two and a half years but I did feel like I owed them some sort of apology.

9.

Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet I found out where they were buried, bought flowers and drove to the cemetery. As I was standing at their graves mumbling apologies, a woman appeared behind me. She wanted to know who I was and why I was leaving flowers for her aunt and grandparents. AWKWARD.

10.

Text - sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet Texplained and she said ok that's weird but quite sweet. I said thanks, yes it is a bit weird and oh god I ASKED HER OUT FOR A DRINK. Incredibly, she said yes. Two years later she said yes again when |asked her to marry me because that is how I met my wife. [END]

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Bar Owner Takes Revenge On Lousy Bartender


Oh, Mike, you brought this on yourself, buddy. If Mike had simply played by the rules, and provided even decent customer service, he probably could've avoided this whole meltdown. But alas, Mike was blinded by the desires of booze and women. At least the revenge was a thing of beauty. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/SloppyEyeScream • 3h + Join 1 1 The Homeless Guy Works Here? TLDR: Mike Was A Shitty Bartender; Mike Is Now Unemployed! I am a corporate headhunter of sorts. I entered the "family business" when the reality of life bitch slapped me in the face. I didn't know it at the time, but it is the best decision I ever made. I spent my formative years growing up in the Midwest. There, I worked in the other family business which was the restaurant industry.

2.

Text - My family owned and operated two separate restaurants. They were both "Mom and Pop" style restaurants, and were pretty successful. My parents decided to venture out on a limb though, and shortly before I joined the Army they transformed one of them into a Gastropub. It was outfitted with a hundred taps of beer, and a higher quality menu. I was an adolescent shithead and worked at both restaurants. The employees there were, and continue to be a second family. I grew up washing dishes, clea

3.

Text - OP: Yeah? Dick: I need six black roosters. Make sure they are black. OP: Dick. The only chicken we have is dead. Dick: Goddamn it OP. Tell your mom I need six black roosters. OP: Okay, but for what? Dick: The six black roosters? OP: Yeah. Dick: Oh. They're going to be pallbearers. I need to bury a dead COCK!

4.

Text - That was my Sunday routine for years as a child. I loved working in the restaurant. I was excited for the one to change, but I knew it would lose some of the charm, and I wasn't sure how many regulars would stick around. Nevertheless, the restaurant changed and I eventually joined the Army. Home was now an afterthought. I had joined the Army and started my adult life. I have always been the independent type. I never write home, and I would not expect a call from me; ever. I returned home

5.

Text - I decided that I would meet up with an old friend on my first evening in town. Nick actually recommended that we go to my parents pub. It was a Friday night, and the place would be booming due to the proximity of a larger university. I thought it was a great idea, and I was anxious to return to my stomping grounds. I still had my post-deployment beard, and honestly looked like a homeless bum. I was out of give-a-fucks regarding my overall appearance though. I was not dressed to impress. N

6.

Text - Sandy: See that tall bartender? OP: Yeah. Sandy: That's Mike. He is a fucking asshole, and he acts like he runs the place. OP: Sandy, I am an asshole. That doesn't necessarily mean he is a bad employee. Sandy: He is responsible for running out all the old waitresses, and I am pretty sure he is giving away your parents money! OP: Okay Sandy. I will watch him.

7.

Text - I plop my ass back at the bar and continue conversations with Nick. I really didn't pay much attention to Mike. I knew my mother was happy to have him on the staff. He was formally trained as a bartender and had very high reviews from his past employers. According to my mother, he "alleviated stress" which is never a bad thing. Nick and I proceed to order and catch up. We both order Blue Moon's and the Cajun chicken and Fettuccine Alfredo. We exchanged stories, devoured our food, and dran

8.

Text - Mike: I will be with you in a minute. He was semi-busy so I waited. Then I waited some more. He was with a group of three college aged females. He had already completed there order. He had been talking with them for no less than ten minutes. This was no longer a business interaction. Mike was clearly seeking an opportunity to hide the beef bus in tuna town, and I was growing impatient. Aside from Nick and I, there was only a handful of humanoids at the bar. The three college ladies, anoth

9.

Text - The place, to include the bar, was now starting to fill up. Other people were patiently waiting now. Mike was a statue. The only time he moved was to offer the ladies a free round of Blow Job shots. Mike was classy. I was not completely bothered by this until he gave them free shots of Top Shelf Tequila. This is not bar science. You give your free shots to paying customers. People whom are going to contribute to the till. Furthermore, you toast with tea or water when a patron buys you a s

10.

Text - I was livid. Nick suggested I call my mom. I have been told "snitches get stitches". Calling my mom was not an option. She is a kindhearted idiot. Really, Read "No Mom. It's Called Kidnapping" if you want to get a sense of how oblivious she is. Furthermore, I am a sociable- asshole. I am capable of dealing with problems. I may completely and utterly disregard proportionality, but I can deal with my own problems. OP: Nick. You want a Blue Moon? Nick: Yeah. If that fucker ever comes back. O

11.

Text - I should mention the cops. Yes, the fucking cops. It was a Friday, and this pub was well established. College kids drink. College kids, specifically "men", are on the hunt for anything with two legs and a ham wallet or squish mitten (Vagina People!). They are there for the good looking ladies, the average ladies, and the swamp donkey or stable gator (Ugly Lady). The cops know this. The cops are also familiar with the drunken dick measuring contest which typically occurs in the parking lot

12.

Text - I depart my bar stool en route to the bar entrance. It was on the opposite side of Nick and I. I lift the bar gate and proceed my way to the Blue Moon tap. Mike was oblivious. He was still enamored with the intellectually gifted and freshly minted 21 year old crowd of three. (I am not saying every college kid is an idiot. I overheard their conversation though. These bitches were dumb.) I pour Nick and I our drinks. I fulfill the order for one of the regulars and tend to the couple. Manhat

13.

Text - I am in the process of making my way back out to freedom and I am jolted back by my arm. It was Mike. He is clearly aware of my presence now. I must admit, he was much taller than I thought he was. I was nearly dangling by my tiptoes, and I could smell the $20 bucks worth of free tequila permeate from his ball-washer hole (mouth). Mike: What the fuck do you think you are doing behind the bar? OP: Getting drinks??? Mike: You're fucking outta hear man. (And then quite literally drags me to

14.

Text - OP: I'm not fucking leaving man. I am going to go back over there. SIT BACK DOWN, AND FINISH MY BEER. Mike: Look asshole. If you don't leave now I am going to call the cops. OP: Fucking call them! Mike: LOOK! (Points to furniture store parking lot.) They are right over there. You're fucking choice. OP: Mike. You're fucking fired! Mike: (Laughing hysterically.) I am fucking fired? Who the fuck do you think you are?

15.

Text - Mike then attempts to shove me through the front door. We are now making a scene and the hostess and head chef are now present. Mike is laughing hysterically. The chef is telling me to leave, and the poor scared hostess is dialing the cops. OP: Don't fucking touch me. I am not going anywhere. Let's just call the cops and have them sort this out.

16.

Text - Although we were clearly on opposite sides of this little predicament, everyone agreed that calling the police was the correct answer. Dear Reader, it didn't take long. I look through the window and see a beautifully lit police cruiser making its way to our location. Well. Fuck me right? Mike, chef, and hostess get to the cops first. They are explaining their side of the story which I must admit sounds pretty believable. Mostly because what they were explaining is EXACTLY how it happened.

17.

Text - Imagine a circle full of mostly pissed off people, and two cops. Imagine one of them in hand cuffs. COP 1: Sir, did you go behind the bar an pour yourself alcohol. OP: Yes. COP 2: Sir, you now you can't do that right? It's illegal. OP: No. Not really. COP 1: Sir. Yes. It is in fact illegal. OP: Not if I work here! Not if I am an owner (I am.) COP 1: (Addressing the group.) Is this true? Group: NO! (Laughing.) He doesn't work here!

18.

Text - OP: Why don't we ask Sandy? She has been here for nearly 20 years. She will vouch for me. Mike now has an odd look in his eyes. The laughter has subsided rapidly. COP 1: Why don't we get Sandy over here. (Sandy arrives.) COP 1: Ma'am. This guy is saying he works here. Is that true? Sandy: Yes. Mike/Chef: That doesn't mean he works here. Just because a waitress says he does. Sandy: Why don't we just go to the office and and look at the employee roster?

19.

Text - Mike: (The smirk has reemerged) Sure. Let's go to the office. Our merry band of disgruntled fucks and two cops make their way to the office. It is now the moment of truth. Mike: How are you going to get on the computer? IT IS PASSWORD PROTECTED. OP: Can you please remove the handcuffs? I know the password. COP: How about you just tell it to me, and I type it. OP: MYthreeBOYz! BOOM. That mother fucking computer jumps to life. We are now about to explore the bowels of the employee files. Oh

20.

Text - OWNERS: DAD МОМ ОP OP Brother 1 OP Brother 2 Mike: (Clinging on for dear life. Just looking for driftwood to stay afloat.) THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE HIM! OP: Officer. Can you please remove my wallet from my back left pocket and get my identification?

21.

Text - They do, and now Sandy has my mother on the line. The cops would like to talk to her. Thankfully, they kept the conversation brief. "Is OP NAME your son and is he an owner?" YES! I am now removed from the handcuffs. The cops kindly excuse themselves to allow me to run my pub. The reality of life now bitch slapped Mike. OP: Mike. Like I said. You're fucking fired. Now get your shit, and get the fuck out of here, OR I WILL CALL THE COPS. (I point) They are right over there in the parking lo

22.

Text - Mike: Please. I moved her from Chicago. I just bought a new house; a new car. OP: Yeah Mike!?! Well it turns out I don't give a fuck. Get you shit o...(Point to the cops) Mike collected his shit and left. I had a brief huddle with the rest of the workers that were currently there. I kindly explained who I was, and that I am not typically always a prick, but Mike rubbed me wrong. Then I did exactly what I told Mike I would do. Sat back down, and drank my fucking beer.

23.

Text - The fallout. Well, my mom was fucking pissed. I mean really pissed, and threaten to remove me as an owner. My dad is more rational due to our shared line of work. I convinced him to hire a company to audit the liquor. They did. Turns out mike was giving away nearly $700 month in free booze. It was merely hidden by the success of the restaurant, and that fact that my mother was too hands-off to notice. My mother would later on kidnap my child, according to legal definition, so I think we a

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Bizarre Reasons People Went to See A Marriage Counselor


Seeing a marriage counselor isn't a bad idea, and people's reasons for it may seem strange and small, but really often it's a "straw that breaks the camel's back" kind of situation. So you end up with junk like "we're here today because he slurps his soup weird." At the same time, people are just strange. Here are some ridiculous reasons people wanted a divorce.

1.

Text - warpus 33.7k points · 15 hours ago 2 Couldn't decide on which chicken to buy for their chicken farm

2.

Text - targaryenmegan 28.6k points · 10 hours ago Nothing is really stupid in making the decision to come in for a couples session. But the most startling session I've had was when the couple had barely sat down and one of them informed the other that the relationship was over, turned to me and said "thank you for supporting (partner) through this" and left the office.

3.

Text - random_girl_me 23.7k points · 6 hours ago 2 3 My specialty is children and families, but during the pandemic I was assigned whatever came in because it has been super busy... One lady called and spoke with me first about how her husband was horrible at communication and never listened to her. She asked for a couples session. As soon as she ambushed her husband with a "there is a therapist on the line that wants to speak with you" her husband screamed: "YOU CALLED A THERAPIST BECAUSE I DON

4.

Text - monkeylion 22.7k points · 12 hours ago It's always the dishes. I don't see couples anymore because I cannot have one more conversation with adult human beings about the various philosophies of dish washing.

5.

Text - kcmullan 20.9k points · 14 hours ago · edited 14 hours ago 2 A lot of couples schedule counseling for legitimate reasons like "communication issues" but then it will come out that the real reason IS something stupid and they don't even realize it. I had a couple married 25 years who were struggling to connect and it turned out they were resentful of each other because they both wanted to spend various holidays with their families of origin. Never talked about it, never mentioned it, just

6.

Text - crusnic_zero 15.0k points · 9 hours ago my cousin went to counselling because her husband cuts the sandwich straight inside of diagonal. when i first heard it, i thought it was a joke.

7.

Text - maz_lotus 14.3k points · 11 hours ago I'm a counselor with teenagers and kids. A school staff member dragged these two teens into my office one day, a boy and a girl. Both were clearly upset but definitely didn't want to talk about it with me. You could have cut the tension with a knife as they sat frozen in their chairs staring at the floor. I saw them and thought "oh fuck, she's pregnant." I'm trying not to panic at how to handle the situation as I finally get them talking and it turns

8.

Text - GifBeefer 9.7k points · 9 hours ago · edited 3 hours ago A buddy of mine was in therapy with his wife. She told me later that my friend (let's call him Gary) has a drinking problem. Me: "Wait. What? Since when is Gary drinking. I never saw him drink alcohol. Her: "That's the problem" Oh Gary, i hope you are fine now

9.

Text - DangDog_crapper_god 9.3k points · 12 hours ago - edited 3 hours ago My uncle and his wife, reasoning:she lost a frying pan Deccarrin 7.1k points · 10 hours ago + I mean, I get that it's a stupid argument, but how the fuck do you lose a frying pan. Cupboard - > hob - > next to sink - > into sink to "soak" - > next to sink because other things need washing - > angry wife puts all the washing in the garden out of spite because husband never does the fucking washing up and the kitchen is a fu

10.

Text - mattieforza 2.8k points · 7 hours ago Not a counselor. But me and my ex had the biggest fight known later as the "spoon incident". We were both working over 60 hours a week and we're stressed. Nonetheless we had one night off together so I made sure that I had cleaned the house and everything before she came home. She came back while I was unpacking the dishwasher and put the last cutlery in the drawers. When I finally put a spoon in the drawer she said "that's not where it's supposed to

11.

Text - goldenbrain8 7.3k points · 12 hours ago · edited 6 hours ago My ex made an appt for us when he got his side girl pregnant. I was 26 and in grad school, lonely, stressed, and horribly gaslit, and went along. At the time the therapist would say "if he hasn't changed by now he's not going to..usually I'm trying to keep people together but I'm not sure I can now" and I would get mad. Now I look back and things come on girl, run

12.

Text - StBlaschek 7.1k points · 13 hours ago Not a counselor, but my friend is one, and a couple came to her (unofficially) because the wife wouldn't tell her hubby when her mum was coming over because she knew he'd be "sick" or "out" that day.

13.

Text - VerityParody 5.8k points · 12 hours ago They got into a domestic because he wouldn't try her jam.

14.

Text - brassburd 5.0k points · 9 hours ago From the other side. I ran into an ex girlfriend after being broken up for a long time. We decided to go to couples counseling as friends to clarify some stuff from the past. We went to the session. Talked about some heavy stuff but then ended up being very supportive to eachother and laughed and stuck up for eachother in a weird way. At the end the counselor guy was just staring at us sort of dumfounded and said something along the lines of "uhhh you t

15.

Text - ov3rclock 5.0k points · 3 hours ago · edited 27 minutes ago My anger management group facilitator told us a funny story about a couple that came in for counseling. The husband wanted to write a book. The wife said she would work and do everything around the house for a year while he worked on his book. So he quit work and wrote his book while she did everything. The book got published and was a hit. The publisher asked him to do a book signing tour. The wife was furious. She had supported

16.

Text - Freyja_the_derpyderp 3.1k points · 4 hours ago My sister in law made an appointment for marriage counseling because her husband greeted their dog before her when coming home from work

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Choosing Beggar Wants Launchpad For Free Cause He's "11"


Apparently this is a new life form capable of being two ages at once. Next time this dude reaches out about a Launchpad or whatever other product he's trying to haggle, he'll be like eight, or two. Check out another wild case of a choosing beggar being totally delusional with this choosing beggar who expected prayer to be sufficient payment.

1.

Text - · Launchpad MK2.. Launchpad MK2 - READ DESCR... • £70 Mark as Sold Mark as pending Hi, is this available? 17 AUG AT 11:24

2.

Text - Yes it is How much ??? I would preferably like £70 I can't do that

3.

Text - Could I have it for free l've always wanted to do this and I'm only 12 years old ?? No, sorry, it is send offers, not free Ohhhh ok Sorry for wasting your time

4.

Text - Its ok Ð’ye Have a good day You too 15:52 Hi

5.

Text - Could I have this for free l've always wanted this No sorry Why ? Because it is £120 brand new and i hVe only used it a few times

6.

Text - But I'm only 11 years old and I don't have money Then sorry, you cant have it Ohhhhhhhh. a600 Imnot giving it for free

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