FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 01/12/21

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Jon Stewart's Infamous Rant About Chicago Pizza

Jon Stewart is not playing around at all when it comes to Chicago style deep dish pizza. This particular rant definitely goes down in the hall of fame for epic rants about a food item.

Submitted by: (via AL HD)

Tagged: humor , pizza , rant , jon stewart , comedy , chicago

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Slipping Delivery Driver Can't Catch a Break

Some days you know are going to suck right from the get-go. This driver felt the pain and disappointment of an extra icy delivery, with the added bonus of a concerned witness watching their every mistake. The second slip really seals the deal.

Submitted by: (via kindauncool)

Tagged: pain , FAIL , lol , Video , delivery , fall

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Pilot Bros Fish An RC Airplane Out Of A Tree

The dude who lost his $800 RC airplane has a wonderful memory to cherish for a lifetime. Just imagine how quickly this guy went from being absolutely devastated over his pricey loss, to instead having a couple kind pilots swoop down, save the day, and literally hand him back his expensive RC airplane. It's wholesome moments like this that keep our faith alive for the state of humanity.

Submitted by: (via HELIMOTO)

Tagged: faith in humanity , awesome , pilot , win , airplane , flying

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Entitled Children Expect To Inherit Dad's Savings, Dad Sets Kids Straight

This dad asked the folks in Reddit's AITA community whether or not he was in the wrong for giving his kids' a stiff reality check. Pretty much everyone agrees with dad's decision to set his children straight. It seems fair enough. You wouldn't want to see your kids waste away a meaningful chunk of their lives, not trying to chase the careers that could fulfill them, because they're operating under the assumption that they'll be getting a big payout from daddy's inheritance later on down the road. If anything, that's just kind of messed up.

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Text - 1 13 2 11 e7 3 9 13 AITA for telling my children that if they don't grow up and get real jobs, they aren't getting a penny from me when I die, and then giving them a reality check? Not the A-hole ThrowRA. I'm not dying TL/DR: My kids thought they'd get my savings when I die. I told them no, then lectured them. | (57M) have two kids, N(30M) and A(27F). N works part-time flipping burgers, but insists his real job is as a gaming streamer. A claims she's a 'professional' influencer, her livel

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Text - Over Christmas, we were talking about their mother (on zoom) when A brought up the subject of her will, wondering if she'd left anything to them. I confessed that she passed before ever writing one, and the money she did have was used up the year she passed. We were a dual-income family in a time when neither of us were making a lot. It was a hard time. Eventually, I joined a friend in the private sector and my fortune changed. I'm not 'rich', but l'll never be uncomfortable again. Well,

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Text - Me: What do you mean? N: Well, you have a lot of money, right? It'll go to us. Me: And who told you that? A: What do you mean? Me: I've made it very clear that I don't approve of the way you both live. You both chose not to get an education or real jobs. You have no way of supporting yourself. (I often buy them groceries). You refuse to help yourselves, so why would I enable your 'lifestyles' by leaving you my savings when I die? You want my money, then grow up and get real jobs, but the

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Text - Me: You both refuse to grow up. Flipping burgers is an honourable job, but it's not going to keep a roof over your head. What if you have kids? What if you get fired? And (A), what will you do if your boyfriend breaks up with you because all you do is sit on your ass all day and take photos of yourself? You want to do that, find a modelling agency. A real job. You both speak of chasing your dreams, but neither one of you are in any position to do that because neither of you wants to take

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Text - N ended the call after a prolonged silence. A called me an AH then did the same. I haven't heard from either since, and neither will take my calls. So, AITA here? I think I might be because I was unnecessarily harsh on Christmas. Edit: Some of the feedback coming at me is because I'm critical of their 'jobs'. To be clear, a job is something that you make money from. Neither earn any money as a streamer or 'influencer'. And I defend my opinion of flipping burgers. It's an honourable job, b

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Text - MiddlingMe · 7d S 4 Awards You are only 57. Jesus. You could potentially live for 30 to 40 more years. What was their plan? To live in poverty until their 60's or 70's? And what if you need expensive medical care later on or care services in your old age that wipes out your retirement money? Not only are they entitled as hell, but they have no idea how the world works or how to realistically plan for the future. NTA. Reply 6.7k ...

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Text - gay_flatulent • 7d 16 Awards Plot twist. Marry me. 56(f). kids grown and out da house. Available. NTA. It's troubling that their current savings plan is your demise. Reply 4.6k

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Text - cass_92SS• 7d 3 3 Awards NTA. And I like you. Because you didn't say something like "flipping burgers isn't a real job" but you did point out the reality that flipping burgers doesn't get the bills paid, especially for a family and especially part time. You also pointed out to your daughter that if she wants to make a job as an influencer, then work towards a more realistic job as a model. You're not knocking what they like in life, you're showing them that how they are going about it isn

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Text - terrible-advice- · 7d · Partassipant [4] 2e 3 Awards NTA- it's your money do as please. I have friends who stream and make a little money from it but it's clearly only a side hustle, getting big enough to support yourself on streaming or as influencer is incredibly unstable. What if you get banned from the platform, streamers/you tubers/influencer is extremely volatile market and an audience you built over years can disappear over night, at minimum it's smart to have a reliable skill to f

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Text - hannahsflora • 7d · Certified Proctologist [21] 3 8 Awards I'll brace for the downvotes, but honestly - NTA. It would be one thing if they were doing these things on the side and supplementing with another job that provided enough income for them to live, and another thing still if they were actually making money from their "influencing" and streaming. But it sounds like both of them are scraping by due to the charity of others, and don't have any kind of sustainable life-plan. This is ma

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Text - Caribe92 · 7d · Partassipant [1] NTA. It's your money. And I understand where you're coming from. People think that it's either they chase their dreams OR get a real job. Why can't you do both? It'll be harder work, but you'll have stability. The sad truth is that there are millions with the same dreams, and unfortunately the statistics proves that not everyone will be successful. Reply 410 ...

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Text - ismolpotato • 7d Nta. It's your money, you get to decide what you want to do with it. Kind of horrible how they are depending on your death to let them live comfortably. Though the "real job" comment is a bit questionable. Reply 1 901

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Text - the-mirrors-truth • 7d · Professor Emeritass [84] NTA They're all adults and they brought up the issue of money. You didn't just call them to tell them they're worthless, they wanted to know how they'll continue have the lifestyle they want with minimal work on their part and you let them what's what. Maybe you should have done it sooner but better late than never. # Q Reply 239 3 ...

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Text - ArgonianMofo • 7d • Partassipant [2] NTA, they needed reality checks badly. Your son is 30 and your daughter is almost 30 and they still go to you for basic necessities like groceries. They aren't even making incomes from their online hobbies. Lastly no one is even entitled to inheritance anyway. Its your money, you can use it for yourself till the day you die and that would be perfectly ok. Reply 1 184 ...

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Text - Armaryllislove · 7d I'm going with NTA. It sounds like you tried to talk to them about this stuff before, that you want them to follow their dreams but also be independent because you won't be around forever and the money you have, even if it's a decent amount, may not pull them through their whole lives. You're right that as adults, they have responsibilities, especially if they decide to have children and marry. There willI be bills to pay, insurances to pay for, food and clothes to buy

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Text - skywalkera420•7d NTA your kids sound like entitled brats BUT it's no coincidence both of your children are like this. Youre continuing to enable them, some people don't learn to "grow up" until they have to. If you've never held them responsible for their own lives, they may not do it on their own Reply 4 47 3 ...

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Text - SnooPeppers1641 • 7d · Partassipant [1] NTA Your daughter isn't dating the poor bastard that was the subject of another post working two jobs so is gf could make her dreams come true is she? At 30 and 27 each one needs to get serious on how they are going to support themselves for the years to come. I have no clue how much you have in savings but l'm going to guess it really isn't a fortune in real world terms. Beyond that, you are only 57. Baring any health issues you could live easily a

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Text - TerribleTribbles • 7d · Partassipant [2] NTA. You could have told them your plans without the lecture and your message might have gone over easier. Something along the lines of; "please don't plan on me being your financial savior as I plan on giving ALL my money to X" On the other hand, if they're as clueless as they sound you likely told them in the only way that they could hear. Reply 1 19 ...

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Text - Nikki3to • 7d · Asshole Aficionado [18] NTA you do not owe them an inheritance, hopefully you get to spend all your hard earned money before that time. Your kids are well enough into their adult lives that you should be concerned about how they will be able to take care of themselves in the future, and their own respective families. Reply ...

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Text - hecknono • 7d NTA I hate people who count their parents money. At University I had a friend who always talked about her rental property and I asked, "how do you have a rental property when you are a full time student and never had a job?" she said my parents own it and someday I will own it when they die. I said, but what if that is for their retirement, or they sell it or if they get laid off their jobs and need to sell the house or a million other things. She was very insulted. She hone

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Text - fridayisblackforme · 7d NTA. You actually seem way more supportive than I think you're getting credit for. You acknowledge the work they both do, but want them to reach for more. You know your daughter wants to be a model of sorts, and you encouraged her to find a modelling agency so she can become a professional. You know that your son is in food service, you honour that, but you also know he can't ever move up if he stays part time. You never asked them to give up on their dreams, but t

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Text - ApprehensivePop8838 · 7d NTA, it's your money. Yes, they're allowed to feel hurt but in the end, that doesn't mean you should change your will. Reply 4 2 } •..

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Text - IGotBigHands • 7d NTA You worked hard for your money and can spend and give it to anyone you please. If they aren't stepping up to your standards than you have every right not to leave them anything. I would do the same if I was in a similar situation. Reply ...

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Text - itsthebeardedone · 7d NTA, I'd give it all away based solely on their entitled attitudes. At least you're giving them a chance. Q Reply

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Text - apirateonabicycle · 7d NTA. You're super young for this convo anyway, but they are waaay too old to not understand how real bills get paid. I wasn't this delusional at 19, much less 30z Reply 1 2 + Q ...

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Text - MsTankToYou • 7d NTA but man I would have just said "I intend to live another 30-40 years, retire in 10 and die penniless" This is straight what my dad told me when I was in my early twenties and I definitely took him at his word. QReply 1 2 3 ...

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Text - TheMotorcycleMan • 7d NTA. When you get old, and retire, spend every penny you have earned. You earned that money, you should enjoy it. If your kids can't get along without it, that's on them. Reply 1 2 ...

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Text - jmccorky · 7d NTA. From the time I was a child I was taught that I would have to work hard to support myself, and I taught my daughter that same lesson. I would stop enabling their behavior immediately and completely cut them off financially other than holiday gifts. Personally. I'd also consider paying for their schooling if they get serious about pursuing a degree in order to better support themselves. Also, you are only 57! If you live in the US, you can have several million dollars an

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Tagged: aita , entitlement , family , Reddit , dramatic , choosing beggar

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Family Member Expects Earrings Back From Years Ago, Reality Check Ensues

It seems as if this world will never be in short supply of entitled choosing beggars with their audacious demands. Just because you're someone's family member too doesn't mean that you're off the hook when it comes to irrational demands that never should've been made in the first place. This person's family member for instance expects to be able to get their earrings back that they gave away 10 years ago. I mean, come on with all that noise. You've got to be kidding me.

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Text - Hi have the two gold earrings I gave you a long time ago? I actually feel guilty for giving them to you because they are the inky memory have from my uncle who gave them to me. If you dont wear do you still them anymore, can I have them back, as I would like to keep them and not sure why I even gave them to you or did I lend them to you. 5:37 pm

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Text - I'm not sure which earrings you're referring to? 7:14 pm How long ago was it? 7:14 pm They are round ones. One of them has a pattern on it and the other one has a diamond heart shape hanging from the loop 8:35 pm They don't sound familiar, do you have a pic? 8:54 pm

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Text - T hope you haven't lost them, can you check what loop earrings you have? 9:06 pm How long ago did you give then to me? 9:20 pm Over ten years, don't you keep all your jewelry together? 9:22 pm I've moved houses twice and ages from 13 to 23, why would I still have them? 9:23 pm

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Text - Sorry, moved 3 times 9:23 pm I don't even remember them, sorry G 9:23 pm Wow what do you mean? They were 18ct gold, I gave them to you you were living in you should have them with all your other gold? I will be very upset if you lost them. Gee when 9:25 pm Can you please find them? Maybe your mum has them 9:40 pm

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Text - I don't have any gold anymore, whatever gold I had I gave to mum to keep. Although I wouldn't know what to ask for because I'm not sure what they look like? 9:42 pm Ask your mum to give you your gold than ill show you which one it is when I see you xx 9:45 pm Nah I don't have space for it, but next time you talk to her make sure you ask O 9:50 pm

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Text - I dont want to talk to your mum so you organise it and ill come over and have a look than you can give them back to her. 10:23 pm Or let her know that ill come and get them just let me know either way. I am sure I lent them to you for something I cant remember now 10:25 pm Gdnight 10:25 pm

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Text - Just asked mum about them and she doesn't remember them either, I don't think you gave it to us? And why would you lend earrings for 10 years? That's really weird 10:29 pm No she doesnt because I gave them to you directly in your room to wear you guys were going somewhere and you liked the one with the heart so I said you could wear mine. She doesnt know what they look like, if you can organise with her for me to have a look at the

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Text - round earrings she has at home because I know that your mum would not have thrown them away if you gave them to her for keep- sake. I dont understand why you didnt take care of them. Gdnight. 10:39 pm It's not that I didn't take care of them, it's that over 10 years have passed and my likes and possessions have changed. I'm sorry she's not comfortable with you going there and looking through her jewellery, you'll have to talk to her about it. 10:41 pm

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Text - Then you get your jewelry and bring it to your place and ill have a look than. I am not asking again You couldn't have thrown out Gold earrings. I told you I don't want anything to do with your mother until she apologizes wholeheartedly. 10:47 pm IIII draw up a picture as well maybe you will remember. And go to sleep 10:48 pm

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Text - I don't particularly want much to do with you until you apologize also. So I'm not overly keen on making mum dig all my old jewellery out, drag it over to my place where I have no where to put it, and then have you come here to look through it. I'm sorry but if you wanted it you shouldn't have given it to me. Have a good night.

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Tagged: entitlement , FAIL , cringe , ridiculous , family , dramatic , choosing beggar

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Incompetent Manager Tries To Make Employee Work After Firing Them

There are some people and jobs out there that it just feel too good to get away from. In this case it was a tyrannical boss who flouted the rules and tried to make someone work after firing them. Quitting a frustrating situation and having a "screw this, I'm out" moment can lead us to reevaluating ourselves and moving on to something better. Bosses can suck, like this incompetent manager who forbid overtime and had it totally backfire.

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Text - Posted by u/geddes_thesea 1 day ago 52 37 E10 Next week, I'm going to fire you oc M Worked for a shitty airline company. Let's just make up a name... United Blairlines. At this company they started a smaller company that could hire and train people to run the planes, but pay them way less at certain airports. Where my colleagues at other airports were making over $20/hr, I was getting paid $10.25 for the same- and sometimes more- work. It honestly would scare you to know how little the pe

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Text - I had to go to the hospital from the airport because of intense pain in my stomach. It turns out that because of stress caused by that job, my intestines decided to stop functioning. Anyway I spend the day in the hospital and then they gave me a note saying that I didn't have to work the next two days. I told Jim's boss that (since I hated talking to Jim) When I went back into work three days later. We had five people total to load all luggage, load the water, and push out five planes in

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Text - shouldn't affect my attendance." “I don't care what work policy says. I'm going to fire you." Again I cited work policy since we were "protected" by a union. I said "Jim you have to give me an attendance warning before you're allowed to fire me for attendance. This is the first time I'm hearing about attendance, so you can't fire me right now." Jim said "it doesn't matter, I'm going to give you a warning right now, and when I get back from vacation next week, you're going to be fired, now

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Text - As I'm enjoying my meal, Jim calls me. I happily ignore. He calls three more times and then texts me, asking where I was at. I told him "you fired me, why would I keep working for you?" No response. I try to soak in the sight of Jim running between planes like a chicken with his head cutoff. I don't imagine any plane took off on time that morning. I get a call from HR, and the union rep, and the General manager, who is Jim's boss. They all said Jim was wrong and asked me if I could come b

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Text - Some more info. Although this isn't so satisfying, it's more a testament of United Blairlines complete lack of ethics... Jim got in really big trouble when he had a guy who had a shoulder injury and had a note and told Jim several times he couldn't do super heavy labor. Jim sent him to the bag room by himself anyway. Imagine having to lift 300-700 50-70 pound bags over your head per hour all while running between bag carts and the belt. Needless to say the guy tore his shoulder and had to

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Tagged: boss , wtf , fired , manager , work , quit , incompetent , lol , airline , stupid , win

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Tumblr Thread On Baby Oarfish Escalates Quickly

So, maybe getting out of the ocean was a very bright idea after all. What starts as a seemingly innocent little Tumblr thread on the baby oarfish ends up escalating into a series of insights about just how monstrously big the oarfish can end up being. I honestly just wonder what Pokémon was inspired by this bad boy. If you're looking for another interesting read from the wonderful wandering minds of Tumblr, check out this thread about Hollywood's toxic beauty standards.

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Eyewear - mischief7manager digitalrabbit asked: Hey I heard you're giving out anxiety, can I have 1 anxiety please? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses answered: yes, here is a baby oarfish

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Nature - imaramennoodle that's a BABY? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses boy howdy are you in for a treat! introducing, the Oarfish!

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Reptile - MA! THERE'S A WEIRD FUCKING FISH! Not much is known about Oarfish. Their maximum length is debatable, though there are reports of specimen up to 56 ft long. They live at great depths, and are rarely observed alive. Here's a relatively small one: Slightly larger one:

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People - Yeah. these children get long. hold on a mo', i might have a better photo yeah. there we go. a few hundred Ibs of Oarfish. like i said, length-variable. that one's only about 28 feet though. so like, imagine that but double.

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Human - look how excited everyone is. well, everyone but the fish. oh, fun fact! they can self-amputate up to 3/4th of their body. lizard style.

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Text - Historically, Oarfish have been described as sea serpents, and are probably responsible for a fair portion of myths. In Japanese folklore, their appearance portends earthquakes. Though rarely seen, Oarfish live in every ocean. All around the world. Everywhere. No matter what coastline you're on, they're always there. Just a few thousand feet below water. Waiting.

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Text - Watching. fireball-me JESUS THAT WAS MORE THAN 1 ANXIETY biggest-gaudiest-patronuses I AM A WHOLESALE PROVIDER Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses 45,596 notes

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Tagged: crazy , surprising , tumblr , interesting , ocean , knowledge , fish

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Impressive Creations Of Questionable Taste

There's no question that a lot of craftsmanship and creativity went into these skillful creations of dubious taste. It's just that they're also kind of also weird and scary. It takes a specific type of person to want to make a 20-foot peeing dachshund sculpture on the front of a building, but the world is...better... for it? At least there's no question that questionable taste and skill go hand in hand.

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Tagged: wtf , art , creative , strange , lol , amazing , creation , awful , weird

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