Saturday, April 25, 2020

Punny Dad Jokes That Outdaded Themselves


We love dad jokes. And oh boy, do we love puns. They're hilariously simple and playful. They point out the obvious in an usual way, and most of us can easily understand them. Sometimes they're so silly and dumbed down that we almost want to facepalm. If you're on the fence about a facepalm, these should push you over the edge.

1.

Text - r/dadjokes u/Keegan-Gin • 14h + JOIN What's blue and doesn't weigh very much? Wholesome Light Blue 7.0k 108 1 Share Award

2.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/netflix_dweller • 22h 1 3 1 I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. Wholesome The odds were against me.

3.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes u/StuntsMonkey • 3d + JOIN My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning Wholesome It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.

4.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/madazzahatter • 7d When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, "Ha! That's not going to help!" Wholesome "Sure, it does." I said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

5.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/Ethanssss • 19d A man is staying in a hotel. Wholesome He walks up to the front desk and says, "Sorry, I forgot what room l'm in, can you help me?" The receptionist replies, "No problem, sir. This is the lobby."

6.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/HellsJuggernaut • 5d I'm pretty bad at building fences.. Wholesome Oops, wrong place for this post

7.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/porichoygupto • 23d I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins. Wholesome It was hard to differentiate between them.

8.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/Ew0k5ANOnomi5 • 24d Which weighs more, a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane? Wholesome A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

9.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/FinalCaveat • 22d 1 S 2 I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing. Wholesome This is as close as I could get.

10.

Text - r/dadjokes u/dragoon2745• 17d + JOIN If I had a nickel every time I was confused Wholesome l'd be like, where the fuck do all these nickels keep coming from?

11.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/depressedavacado • 26d 1 S 2 What do you call a dinosaur that explodes? Wholesome Well I don't know but the Dinomite I guess

12.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/bringojackprot • 15d What is a thousand times better than instagram? Wholesome Instakilogram

13.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/ChewyNutCluster • 14d I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. Wholesome I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.

14.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/Lunarsee • 28d I've often heard icy is the easiest word to spell. Wholesome Looking at it now, I see why.

15.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/jamesallen1977 • 8d What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Wholesome lan

16.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/InfyPlayz • 16d What is the least spoken language in the world? Wholesome Sign language

17.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/OoRicky92oO • 30d 1 English puns make me feel numb Wholesome But math puns make me feel number

18.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/NeuFlaas_xx • 16d 1 Where did the hacker go? Wholesome I don't know, he ransomware

19.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/five_cylinder_frank • 5d What did the green grape say to the purple grape Wholesome Breathe idiot, breathe!

20.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes u/Tankerman05 • 4d + JOIN My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." Wholesome I know he means well.

21.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/AndrewYTTRA • 10d I think Helium hates my jokes. Wholesome He doesn't react to any of them.

22.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/KoronaSenpai • 4d How can you tell your dad joke is a dad joke? Wholesome It's fully groan.

23.

Text - Text - r/dadjokes u/Chichard1 • 8d + JOIN What tea do rich people buy? Wholesome Property

24.

Text - r/dadjokes u/porichoygupto • 6d + JOIN "Officer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?" Wholesome Cop: it's a ..moving violation.

25.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/niloc12 • 11d I was wondering why Music was coming from my printer.. Wholesome Apparently the paper was Jamming.

26.

Text - r/dadjokes + JOIN u/PoeJascoe • 19d 1 3 1 A sheep dog tells her owner she found all fifty sheep. Her owner says that there should only be 46 Wholesome The dog says, "but I rounded them up."

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