Sunday, January 3, 2021

Funniest Toddler Breakdowns That Parents Witnessed


To be a parent is to be subjected to a continual emotional rollercoaster, as you work on raising your devilish children into reasonably functional adults. The toddler phase especially is marked by a steady procession of spontaneous, and absolutely explosive emotional meltdowns. You never know what bone a toddler will have to pick with the world. Every day brings with it a new internal struggle in the life of a toddler. These toddler breakdowns are certainly something else. 

1.

Text - DrunkUranus · 2d 37 Awards My daughter had a complete existential breakdown one day when she found out that she was going to have to pee every day of her life Reply 14.7k 5 ...

2.

Text - fork_hands_mcmike · 2d S 8 3 Awards Overheard at a grocery store: mom let her little boy pick out some ice cream. Kid chooses some sort of chocolate banana popsicle and mom says no. Kid starts crying. Mom says "I thought you didn't like bananas." Kid immediately stops crying, says "Oh yeah", and picks something else. Reply 9.5k ...

3.

Text - natural_imbecility · 2d a3 3 Awards When my daughter was three, I told her to stop trying to draw on the dog with crayons. She threw the crayon on the floor, looked me dead in the eye and yelled, "Daddy, you're ruining my life!" Reply 1 5.4k 3 ...

4.

Text - mashroomium · 2d 1 Award Demanded to know how to say "Hola in Spanish" would not accept that hola was already Spanish, cried for hours Reply 624 3 ...

5.

Text - elizabeth498· 2d My daughter wanted to drink pure lemon juice and threw a fit when she was denied. I caved on the premise of natural consequences. One sip and she vomited. She never bugged us about it again. Reply 1 1.8k 3 ...

6.

Text - paraglenn · 2d 3 9 Awards 5yo: "You're old!". Me: "I'm not that old (with a slight tone of indignation). How old do you think I am?". 5yo: "The last number." Reply 1 11.9k 3 ...

7.

Text - DukeOfDouchebury • 2d 3 2 Awards My daughter asked for strawberry ice cream from the grocery store when she was about 4. I bought it for her and when we got home and she had some after dinner, she started crying. I asked why and she said, "I wanted strawberry ice cream without bones!" She didn't like the hard frozen pieces of strawberry in the ice cream that she picked out. I thought the idea of "ice cream bones" was funny. Reply 7.8k 3 ...

8.

Text - SnooPeripherals6969 · 2d 3 8 3 Awards I yawned with my mouth really wide and my little sister told my mum i was trying to eat her Reply 1 4.4k 3 ...

9.

brocalmotion · 2d 2 Awards My legs are sparkling!

10.

Text - Grabagear · 2d 3 1 Award "it's the wrong same!" took weeks to figure out he was referring to the apricot and peach yogurts. Q Reply 3.0k ...

11.

Text - tinypiecesofyarn • 2d 2 Awards Cousin's 3yo: (offers a Goldfish to my BIL) BIL: No, thank you! 3: (offers another Goldfish) BIL: No, no thank you! 3: (offers another Goldfish) BIL: No thank you, buddy! 3: GRANDMA, [BIL] WON'T SHARE! Sharing is mandatory in both directions, I guess. Q Reply 1.4k ...

12.

Text - straighttoplaid· 2d 3 1 Award My wife woke the kids up and told them it was Monday so they needed to get ready for school. "Don't like Monday... Hate Monday... YOU'RE MONDAY! (Directed at wife)"

13.

Text - SavagelnkStudios · 2d 2 Awards My nephew had a breakdown and cried when his boot wouldnt fit on his head like a hat. + QReply 1 7.1k 3 ...

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Text - gaoshan • 2d 1 Award My daughter (about 5) threw a wadded up piece of paper at us and ran away. We opened it up and she had written, "can I have a snake?". Wife yelled "no, you may not" and my daughter then came back almost in tears to ask why not. She said, "I ate all of my dinner so why can't I have one?" Wife asked what that had to do with snakes at which point we realized she had misspelled "snack". Also, my son put us in a sort of reverse "timeout" once when he got angry. This consis

15.

Text - Rabbit_rover · 2d S 2 Awards My 4 year old brother told me "My water is too soupy" | still haven't quite figured it out. Q Reply 3.7k ...

16.

Text - michaelchondria · 2d 1 Award The 3-year-old found a mitten on the ground and put it on. He asked where the other one was and I said I didn't know. He looked down and said, like it was a unique problem, "But I have TWO hands!" Reply 3.2k ...

17.

Text - shaidyn • 2d 1 Award I watched a friend's kid have a total breakdown because he wanted to have eaten ice cream. The thing was, he HAD ice cream. It was his dessert, and it was in a bowl in front of him. He could eat it. But the fact that he had to go through the mechanical motions of eating, to get the later point in time where he had had ice cream, was really just too much for him to bear. Watching tiny humans grapple with cause and effect is fascinating. Reply 4.0k 3 ...

18.

Text - boopingtacos • 2d I worked at a preschool from this October to December as an assistant teacher. We had a play room next to the classroom and one day we decided to go in there to play. In there was a shelf with a lot of dinosaurs to choose from. A child came up to me and said he wanted to play with the dinos. I said "okay". This child just sat on the floor and looked like he was having the crisis of his life. Then began to cry and when I asked him what was wrong, he said "there's too many

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Text - Northern_Way • 2d Now that I've been working at home (I have a desk set up in my bedroom) whenever I give my 3 year old grief he tells me to go back to work. Reply 1 3.9k 3 ...

20.

Text - qatest · 2d 1 Award Asked if she could have one piece of candy, and I said yes. She then asked, "can we compromise?" and I replied that we didn't need to compromise because she was already getting exactly what she wanted. Child proceeds to throw a tantrum until I agree that we can compromise. She eats her candy and leaves happily Reply 1 2.1k 3

21.

Text - Fluffyfluffycake · 2d 1 Award My boy cried when, after stuffing his sandwich in the VHS recorder (early 90s), there was no movie about sandwiches. Reply 977 ...

22.

Text - DeWelsh23 · 2d Was sitting at the entrance of the play place at a nearly empty chick-fil-a (idk how but there was barely anyone there) when a little boy, probably walked up to me, pointed at my sunburnt face and said the four words that haunt me to this day: "Your nose is wrong"

23.

Text - advcomrade · 2d 1 Award We have a growth room in our lab with intense purple lightning where upon leaving everything looks green for 15-30 seconds. Once we were giving a tour to a class of 4th graders and showed them this phenomenon. Once it wore off one kid exclaimed "everything's back to normal, I HATE normal!" We have that quote saved on the fridge | Reply 2.0k 3 + ...

24.

Text - OhioMegi · 2d 8 1 Award A kid asked for an envelope. So I gave her one. She started screaming and crying "I want an envelope!!!" She meant cantaloupe. | Reply 1 1.7k 5 ...

25.

Text - penny_can • 2d 3 1 Award 6 year old was falling behind during an afternoon walk back from the playground, claimed it was so far his feet were bleeding into his socks faster than his body could absorb the blood, when I insisted he hurry he said, "You go ahead, I have blazing speed and can catch you whenever I want." Reply 785 3 ...

26.

Text - notyouraverageturd · 2d Mom, this fish makes my ears sour. Reply 1.6k ...

27.

Text - Zalikiya · 2d My 2-year-old broke down because it was dinnertime, not lunchtime. Bonus: she crawled into my bed at 4 am Christmas morning, crying that she wanted to color and I needed to get her a pen, then fell asleep on my face. Reply 1 1.4k 3 ...

28.

Text - Jesskamess • 2d My niece, when she was three, got upset because her ketchup was too spicy. So I told her to just eat her fries without the ketchup. She then cried because the fries weren't spicy enough without the ketchup. Q Reply 744 3 ...

29.

Text - Cleverlnnuendo • 1d 2 Awards I was a restaurant server one night when a family came in. Normally, l'm not a fan of kids, but this one girl, like 5 or 6, broke the mold for me. There was a fire in her eyes, but she wasn't unruly. Just... in the moment. I walk up to the table after they finish a seafood platter, and I hear the parents loudly saying something they obviously want me to hear: "No, honey, they don't let you take the lobster shells home." I could feel invisible elbows jabbing me

30.

Text - Grover_washington_jr • 2d 1 Award "The orange part of your feet (calloused heels) is making my macaroni taste bad."

31.

Text - With_Trees · 2d 8 1 Award "Are you a princess?" I'm a guy. [It made my day anyway.] Reply 615 •..

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