Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Times People Questioned Their Own Intelligence


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the most impressively dumb things people did that inspired them to question their own intelligence. Sometimes you lead a life where you worked 10 years in a kitchen, and still end up trying to microwave a saucepan. Or maybe you find yourself mindlessly blaring your car horn at the guy who you already knew was deaf, but somehow forgot because your brain decided to take a catnap. We've all been there caught up in the middle of an impressively mindless moment, at some point in our lives. 

1.

Text - pollypostmormon • 2y I was sitting in traffic, and I noticed that all the other lanes were moving while mine hadn't budged an inch. I craned my neck trying to see what the hold up was, and finally figured out that I wasn't in a lane at all, but had been patiently waiting behind a line of parked cars. 7.9k ...

2.

Text - Sloots_and_Hoors • 2y I frequently see a man cross a four-lane road near my home. We have a fairly similar schedule and I see him often. He's well-known in the neighborhood and he's deaf. NBD. I once slowed down as he crossed the four lane in driving, white-out, downpour rain and I though to myself, aw man, he doesn't know it's raining because he's deaf. 11.8k ...

3.

Text - aightbyelmao • 2y i once was hanging up paper on a cork board and the only thing we could hang them up with was thumbtacks. i thought it was a good idea to stick my hand in the bucket of thumbtacks and grab a handful 2.3k

4.

Text - mlw72z • 2y Every elevator going down in a busy NYC hotel was already full of people so I decided to go up. When I got to the final floor I accidentally got out of the elevator instead of just staying put. 2.0k •..

5.

Text - kim77angle · 2y A few years ago i could not figure out if the new electric stove was on or off. I was familiar with flame stoves so i stuck my hand flat on the heating coil. My hand had burnt circular stripes all over it. The stove was hot. 6.9k ...

6.

Text - Secretlysidhe • 2y I once had a brain fart and forgot that porcupines were animals. I was hanging out with my family and my niece mentioned that her favorite animal was a porcupine, and I laughed for a good long time before explaining to her that porcupines weren't animals. I'd gotten them mixed up with pine cones. I have a graduate degree. My niece was maybe 6 at the time. She schooled me. + 12.9k

7.

Text - doppz1 • 2y I drove over a mattress It was in an alley in a puddle, I thought I would glide right over it. Thing got stuck in my tire well, had to call a tow truck to lift my car and beat it out with a hammer. Next morning found that it had punctured my front left tire and had to get a new one. Did another dumb thing by thinking I get a whole new wheel not just tire so ditched my wheel by the dumpster and then drove to the garage on a flat spare only to be sent home to get my wheel also.

8.

Text - [deleted] • 2y One morning my vision was all blurry so I started freaking out and called my gramma to take me to the doctor. Then like 20 minutes later realized I just forgot to put my glasses on. I've worn them since 1st grade and totally forgot for half an hour. 6.2k ...

9.

Text - ceeman77 • 2y When I was cleaning out my shed in the back, I stepped on a rake and the pole smacked me in the face. Literally, like the cartoons. It happened three more times before I came up with the bright idea to move the rake. 2.9k ...

10.

Text - munstre • 2y A few years ago I googled "do the people upstairs have a cat?" and it has never left me :/ 9.9k ...

11.

Text - RedCaribou57 • 2y I locked my car keys in the trunk of my car, hours later when I got my keys out, I proceeded to reenact what happened to my friends, complete with actually locking my keys in the trunk again.... 30.5k ...

12.

Text - [deleted] • 2y I saw an animal in the woods behind my house and my immediate thought was KANGAROO! I live in Indiana. 1.8k ...

13.

Text - blinky84 • 2y Wanted to light a candle. Struck a match. Changed my mind about which candle I wanted to light, and decided to light a Yankee jar candle instead. Couldn't get the lid off with one hand. Stuck the lit match in my mouth so I could use both hands to get the lid off. Couldn't smell the scented candle. Could only smell singed nose hair for days. 7.7k ...

14.

Text - XMrCoolWhipX• 2y I was in class one day messing around with my stapler. "I wonder what'll happen if I staple my finger." *Staples finger." "Huh. I don't know what I expected."

15.

Text - HerrgottMargott • 2y I once threw a stone high in the air directly above me. Absolutely no reason for that, just because I could I guess. Instead of walking away, I kept standing there, looking at the stone falling down until it was too late to move. I still managed to put my hands up protecting my head, hurt a lot anyway. I don't think 'll ever win a Nobel prize. 14.7k ...

16.

Text - robjo8 • 2y 1 Award While helping my girlfriend make dinner one night we needed some lemon juice and she asked me to squeeze a lemon. Now logic would dictate you cut the lemon in half before you squeeze the juice out of it, but not this brilliant motherfucker. No sir! I just squeezed the shit out of it, rolling and palming it in my hand until the peel finally broke, releasing the lemon juice into a bowl as requested. Needless to say, when she turned and saw what I had done she was amazed

17.

Text - extrmden7 • 2y Went to a bank to withdraw money. Bank teller asked me how I would like it and I said: "in cash". Bank teller just stared at me, while my friend is dying of laughter. Meanwhile, I stand not understanding the issue. 8.5k ...

18.

Text - AemenLeny • 2y Worked in kitchens for over a decade. Put a metal pan in the microwave to heat something up. 13.9k ...

19.

Text - AylaNation • 2y Yesterday someone asked me how old I am. I had to msg my husband to find out. 31.. I'm 31. 468 ...

20.

Text - crunknizzle • 2y I was in my undergrad when I realized Egypt is in Africa. I am not proud of this. 227 ...

21.

Text - avalxnche • 2y Often when l'm closing a door quickly I will hold the edge of the door rather than the door knob. You may be wondering: "isn't your hand in the way of closing said door then?!" The answer is yes, I have slammed my fingers in doors too many times because I refuse to hold the fucking door knob. 6.7k ...

22.

Text - AluminiumSandworm · 2y one time i was thinking about aqua from Konosuba and i thought "natural blue hair isn't real, but what about blue eyes?" i have blue eyes i have blue eyes and i was questioning their existence + 10.8k ...

23.

Text - Amhil • 2y Fixing a clogged sink by removing the drain pipe and thoroughly rinsing it underneath the tap of the sink I just removed the drain from. 31.9k ...

24.

Text - MisterWonka • 2y 1 Award I have a key fob for my car. It's set up so that if you hit the lock button once, it locks the car. If you hit the same lock button again, it locks it again and honks the horn so you know you've locked it for sure. The thing is, I always want to make super sure that it's locked, but sometimes I come home to my condo super late, and my parking spot is right under someone else's window. I noticed that if the key fob was farther away from the car when I hit the butto

25.

Text - ritathecat • 2y A couple months ago, my husband and I went on a walk. There are a lot of trails where we live and a couple of lakes. So we walked down a trail to the lake, turned left up another trail, and ended up at the top of a street. We start walking down the street and I realize there is a house that has a wishing well in their front yard like we do. I point it out to my husband and then I realize they have the same truck we do, too. I point out the truck and then I realize that we

26.

Text - Jayes123 • 2y Made some soup on the stove in a saucepan and poured it into a bowl and some of the soup dripped down the side of the boiling saucepan so I licked it 18.9k ... +

27.

Text - [deleted] • 2y My coworker asked it there is lactose in eggs, I thought to myself "they both come from the same animal, so maybe". For 5 seconds, I thought milk came from chickens. 24.0k ...

28.

Text - Immensely_British • 2y I used to boil eggs in my kettle, one time an egg cracked so I had to clean it out. To see if the water was 'eggy' afterwards I decided to smell the steam as it came out... + 1.3k ...

29.

Text - thinmonkey69 • 2y Closed a valve and shut off water. To my neighbor's apartment. His valve was next to mine, side by side. The thing is the valves are clearly labeled with apartment numbers. And the entire time I stood there fiddling with the valves it didn't occur to me l'm closing the one with the wrong number. Somehow I even passed a sanity check making sure that THE NUMBER ON THE VALVE EQUALS THE NUMBER OF THE APARTMENT I OCCUPY. How, Mr. Brain, how??? 620 •..

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