Saturday, December 26, 2020

Comedy Gems From The Wild World Of Tumblr


If there's one thing we know for sure, it's that the wonderfully creative minds of the Tumblr community never leave us disappointed. These comedy gems won't fail to get a laugh or two out of you. 

1.

Text - actuallyjuststealingmemes E skeletor-the-bitch Follow kaijuno I hit a pothole (a Michigan pothole so basically a sinkhole) today and my check engine light came on. I don't have one of those computer plugins to reset the light and I knew it was just a sensor that got knocked so I was just like "well let's see if this works" and on the way home I swerved and hit the pothole again and the check engine light turned off nonlinear-nonsubjective Welcome to PURE /ICHIGAN Source: kaijuno

2.

Text - galaxyslime swear words are illegal now. if you say one you'll be fined. breadisticks heck galaxyslime you're on thin fucking ice galaxyslime oh no

3.

Text - hazelbeewitched i like the idea of having a step-by-step schedule (like breakfast at x time, study at x time, etc.) but who's gonna regulate that shit? me? that bitch is a toddler Source: hazelbeewitched

4.

Text - fuschious My sister just walked into my room, grunted "oil" and promptly collapsed on the floor the-german-russian-skinwalker Fuck she got possessed by america Source: fuschious

5.

Text - taxevader69 Mom > Rather than call it Socialism, let's just call ît what it is... valuing human life over corporate profits. wow ok my mom is ready to be the ceo of antifa ovverwwhelmed kitbulls comrade mom kitbulls WAIT. MOMRADE.

6.

Text - sepulchritude You can tell how someone's mental health is doing by paying attention to how much emphasis they put on the line “I sometimes wish l'd never been born at all" when they're singing bohemian rhapsody

7.

Bird - blessedimagesblog Stop scrolling, bet you've never seen a baby toucan Blessed Toucan

8.

Text - meaninglessmonicker: "Jesus' comes from a shortening of the Hebrew version of the name Joshua, while "Christ' simply means 'the anointed one.' To make this clearer to modern Christians, I propose a new Bible translation where Jesus is referred to only as "oily Josh" Source: meaninglessmonicker 37,736 notes

9.

Text - goblinparty I'm constantly torn between the 'be kind to everyone' and the 'fuck everyone you owe them nothing' mentalities armadillobear Do no harm but take no shit chronicallywild DO NO HARM BUT TAKE NO SHIT

10.

Cat - blackandwhOte-deactivated201911 #Soviet submarine breaking through the ice. - Arctic Ocean 1942. 79,140 notes

11.

Text - generalgrievousdatingsim i like how the phrase "sworn nemesis" implies the existence of more casual nemeses generalgrievousdatingsim you're her nemesis i'm her sworn nemesis we are not the same Source: generalgrievousdatingsim

12.

Text - A tilthat TIL The chances of us eating even one spider in our sleep throughout our lifetime is close to 0% via reddit.com strongbowdarkfruit did something happen to Spiders Georg O itsaarnie R.I.P. Spiders George 2013-2017 ifightformyfriends He was an outlier. But he counted. Source: tilthat

13.

Text - killerkitty707 "Yoink" is the opposite of "Yeet" wierdrocks But it's just as fast viewtiful-kim The Lord yeeteth and the Lord yoinketh away

14.

Text - I carry a picture of my nemesis to always fill me with vengeance backyardbottomslash there is a DIFFERENCE between two characters who just hate each others guts and are abusive and bad for each other and two characters who are RIVALS and are LOCKED in BATTLE but have a DEEP SEATED RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER and MIXED FEELINGS and perhaps even some FONDNESS? some TENDERNESS? beercheesecasserole Batman and joker vs Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus backyardbottomslash this post was about the

15.

Text - wivernryder How in hell do you get "Dick" from "Richard"? mttheww you ask him nicely amandaexmachina I needed ibuprofen after this.

16.

Text - candyredterezii honestly saying “oh it comes with lore" about anything that has text explaining the use and or contents is one of the funniest th candyredterezii ehnoshima *looks at the instructions on my ramen package* oh lore?

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