Saturday, December 5, 2020

25 Dad Jokes That Are Dangerously Dadly


Of all the things dads contribute, some of the most memorable are slews of horribly wonderful puns in the form of devastating dad jokes. Yeah, they're kind of horrible but what sackful of puns isn't. It's best to take the decent ones with the godawful and just tip your hat to the great spirit of dads.

1.

Dog - IMAGINE IF AMERICANS SWITCHED FROM POUNDS TO KILOGRAMS OVERNIGHT THERE WOULD BE MASS CONFUSION imgflip.com

2.

Superman - You know, one of the other team members said you sound more like an owl than a bat. Avengergram Who!? Who!? Avenererie Avengergran

3.

Facial expression - YOU KNOW HOW I GOT THESE SCARS? MAIKAIKAIC Matt Attack Like OTTER POP OTTER POPS

4.

Facial expression - 5 feet 9 inches Height? Weight? What am I waiting for?

5.

Job - How's that kid doing that swallowed those coins? No change yet.

6.

Killer whale - WHALE WHALE WHALE what have we got here? OKAY, WAS THIS ORCA-STRATED ON PORPOISE OR WAS IT A FLUKE?

7.

Hair - OSaw A Moose On The WayTo Work This Morning How Do You KnowHe Was On His Way TO Work? imglip.com

8.

Vertebrate - T HAVE THE NECESSARY YOUR KOALAFICATIONS ARE KOALAFICATIONS DON'T LISTEN TO HIM COMPLETELY IRRELEPHANT THIS ARGUING IS BECOMING HE'S LION UNBEARABLE! INDEED HORSE PLEASE WHEN DO YOU EVER SAY SOMETHING SMART? DON'T WORRY, OWL WAIT I'M OUT OF HERE! IT'S MAKING MY VOICE HORSE OUCH YOU ALL ARE GIRAFFING ME CRAZY HAWKWARD

9.

Product - LFINALLY FOUNDIT BLINKER FLUID GOOD FOR UP TO 6,000 BLINKSI Max Strength 54790 00702

10.

Sky - This is an arial view of San Francisco from 7,200 feet This is a times new roman view of San Francisco from 7,200 feet

11.

Yellow - How grapes are made.

12.

Font - I've just released my own fragrance. Nobody in the car seemed to like it.

13.

Text - If you notice cows sleeping in a field, does that mean it's pasture bedtime?

14.

People - You're a unit of power harry. I'm a Watt?

15.

Domestic pig - WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PICKA PIGS NOSE? HAM BOOGERS I KNOW, I KNOW.SNOT FUNNY

16.

Text - 80 8 Eight Tolerate

17.

Play - SOME SAY THIS IS CUTE I SAY IT'S A DORA BOWL

18.

Yoda - EVERY MOM EVERY DAD WATCHING YOU JUST AS OPEN PRESENTS SURPRISED CHRISTMAS MORNING: AS YOU: World's Greatas Mom

19.

Technology - Ineed a headlight. Sure, what for? PWER Sol can see at night.

20.

Cat - himalayan himawalkin

21.

Lion - SCAR TISSUE LION K ING

22.

Food - SOME PEOPLE HAVE GINGER BREAD HOUSES, I HAVE 0 obb A PIZZA HUT

23.

Text - HOW TO WRITE GOOD 1. Avoid Alliteration. Always. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. Avoid cliches like the plague. They're old hat. 4. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 5. Be more or less specific. 6. Writes should never generalize. Seven: Be consistent! 8. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 9. Who needs rhetorical questions? 10. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

24.

Natural foods - Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii, or just a low ha?

25.

Feather - I'm sorry Ms. Jackson.

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