Sunday, February 28, 2021

Weirdest Things Teachers Had To Confiscate


One should fear the day that kids, being as dumb and weird as they are. start getting their own ideas about things. We remember the good old days of school, when someone got the bright idea to buy a gallon of soup or whatever and bring it to class. It was exciting to have weird and stupid contraband. But of course teachers have to do their job, so they end up having to confiscate some strange things. On the other side of things, here are teachers who pulled total bro moves.

1.

Organism - wsdancergirl 14 hours ago 2 Eyeballs. I worked with a blind student with autism. When he would get angry, he would pop out his glass eyeballs and throw them across the room. They were expensive, so mom asked that we put them in a plastic bag in his backpack if he threw them... no more eyeballs for you today!

2.

Rectangle - CFOofReddit 19 hours ago 22@4 3 3 5 Zip lock bags filled with water. That was a trend for a while at my school. Kids would claim they needed it in case they got thirsty, but usually would just try to pop them in each other's laps during class.

3.

Smile - Chemgal32 18 hours ago 2 7e6 & 11 More An uncooked chicken breast. Actually, two uncooked, boneless chicken breasts. The student had one in each pocket.

4.

Human body - Psychological_Eye556 18 hours ago 2 22 E 4 A wine cooler that looked like a Capri Sun. This was a 2nd grader and she was just getting ready to drink it.

5.

Rectangle - Whimsical_Mara 21 hours ago 23 22 4 A homemade shiv. His dad has just gotten out of jail and given it to him, so he brought it to school. I teach kindergarten, btw.

6.

Organism - ElderCunningham 21 hours ago O 3 3 3 First thing that came to mind - a drawing of a peanut. One kid said he had a peanut allergy, so a boy drew a peanut on a piece of paper, and started shoving it in the other boy's face and being a general d' k with it.

7.

Product - pspahn 19 hours ago O O 5 34 2 Chef's knife stuffed in the waistband of his sweatpants (no underwear) during a snowstorm.

8.

Rectangle - katough 20 hours ago 2 2 3 3 2 my sisters teacher had to call my dad about a suspicious powder my sister was eating out of a bag at school. she was dipping her finger in a bag of powdered jell-o and eating it and letting other kids do the same.

9.

Font - VinnyVinnieVee 21 hours ago 2 5 e12 O & 17 More A can of cheese whiz. It was from a student visiting from another country, and she was enamored of the incredible canned cheese product she had discovered. So much so, she kept either opening her backpack to stare lovingly at it or taking it out during class to get some sweet, sweet cheesy goodness. It was pretty cute actually, and I made sure she got her cheese product returned to her at the end of class. Man did she love cheese whiz.

10.

Head - sheldonowns 19 hours ago 2 3 e4 35 There was a boy in my seventh grade class that wasn't allowed to have coins because he'd eat them.

11.

Head - misstheasaurus 19 hours ago 4 3 33 A giant head of lettuce that just suddenly appeared on his desk. Where did he get it?!

12.

Font - WaterMelonShowerCap 20 hours ago 2 12 a girl had about 50 plastic spoons in her pocket, she tripped and tey all fell out, we all found it hilarious but a high up teacher was walking by and made her pick them up (she was going to anyway) and put them all in the bin he was probably very confused over the whole situation

13.

Rectangle - UCFandOCSC 18 hours ago 2 @10 S4 E 3 A whole salami. Kid kept walking over to his backpack and sticking his face in to take secret bites without me noticing....I noticed.

14.

Font - swanyMcswan 21 hours ago - edited 2 hours ago O 2 3 26 3 3 E 3 Not a teacher, but if you were to ask her this would probably be it. Various vegetables. She was super strict about no phones and would check at the slightest sign you might have your phone. As half protest half prank we began our shenanigans. A girl's family member passed away and was texting on her phone about it to other family members. The teacher took her phone. So we began bringing in potatoes, celery, carrots, tomatoes,

15.

Font - We'd smuggle them into class and then hold them under our desks and look at them as though we were texting. She kept trying to catch us, but then just thought we were weird. This goes on for at least a week. Finally she instituted a 0 tolerance policy against vegetables. So we switched to fruit. So for a few weeks she was constantly confiscating various fruits and vegetables. We finally stopped when it wasn't as fun anymore, and she wasn't never ever quite as strict about phones after tha

16.

Font - Dozermcbobin 19 hours ago 4 Not a teacher but my wife is. Several years ago she was teaching 2nd or 4th grade and the kids were instructed to have their snack time. She stepped over to the door to talk to another teacher while the kids ate and one student came over and tattled that another student had a snack he should not have. My wife scolded the tattler for tattling lol but the kid was insistent. Wife decided to check and the other kid had legit cracked open a Bud Light Lime-A-Rita for

17.

Font - Font - Bookishfarmgirl 18 hours ago 94 33 2 An entire menagerie of live insects. One afternoon my class decided that they should see how many bugs they could capture and keep alive in my classroom. The next day, I returned from covering lunch duty in another part of the school and noticed that one of the cubbies had paper towel taped over the front like a curtain. Before I could investigate, I noticed several Tupperware containers hiding in desks. Dozens of worms (that was the cubby) Many

18.

Font - Smile - bbpcaddict 19 hours ago 2 S Instant pudding. My student was mixing it in a large Cool Whip container, using milk from lunch, right in the middle of a lesson on Macbeth.

19.

Font - Font - funke910 16 hours ago · edited 4 hours ago 2724 3 6 E 7 Former teacher here. Wasn't part of the initial apprehension but was part of the follow up investigation. Weirdest thing was a bag of turtles. Yep. Kid caught a bunch of the little salmonella filled red-eared sliders at a local pond on his way to school one day. We had a turtle black market at the school by noon and by the end of the day the principal had a dozen in a bowl in his office. Kid got caught because a terrible smell

20.

Font - Font - Geeky_Shieldmaiden 18 hours ago S 3 Obligatory not a teacher, I'm an EA (educational assistant) in a school. Plastic Spoons. HUNDREDS OF THEM I still don't know why, but one grade 5 kid came to school with his backpack stuffed full. Nothing else was in his backpack, not even his lunch. He hung it on the back of the chair and pulled out a spoon and was fiddling around with it instead of doing work. So I took the spoon away. 10 minutes later he has another one. I took that. 10 more m

21.

Font - Font - CaptHorney_Two 19 hours ago · edited 11 hours ago 22 e3 3 Not a teacher but our vice principal had to confiscate a lobster from us after we bought it as a birthday gift for a friend. For those asking: it was a live lobster. We wrapped it in a box with some holes poked in it. When we presented it to him during first break, he just heard something scratching inside it and asked "wtf is this."

22.

Font - Rectangle - SailorVenus23 18 hours ago · edited 17 minutes ago e 3 2 A kid brought blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle to lunch on April Fools Day and we had to take it so younger kids wouldn't think it was real.

23.

Font - Facial expression - NotaRomanEmperor 17 hours ago 2 S 2 This is my brother's story, and he was the kid. It was a sandwich bag full of spiders. He collected them during recess, and one of the monitors probably got freaked out.

24.

Font - NB-mom 21 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago Not the teacher but I had a kid in class that would collect used chewing gums from under the table and form them to a giant gross ballI. During the lesson he would suck and chew on it and roll it all over the desk. My teacher had enough of it and threw the thing in the trash and the kid cried. After the lesson the kid got it out of the trash and chewed on it...

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