Thursday, February 11, 2021

Funniest Ways That Kids Have Insulted Adults


There's no getting around the fact that children are just plain old strange. They're these miniature human beings that have an uncanny knack for spewing out wildly unexpected sentiments at a moment's notice. Naturally, some kids are more devious than others. Maybe you were one of those kids yourself. Hard pressed to follow the rules that the rest of society put in place, and told you to abide by. Maybe you were just channeling that oppositional energy from a young age, and it ended up getting you in a whole lot of trouble. If that's the case, you probably had your work cut out for you as you navigated the ins and outs of school. Oh, school. A time ripe for learning about the consequences of not following the rules. Maybe that rule breaking behavior ended up manifesting in you dishing out all kinds of creative and ridiculous insults to those around you.

This particular AskReddit thread honors the most outlandish and humorous insults that kids ended up coming up with. If you're an adult on the receiving end of one of these insults, hopefully you didn't take the insult seriously for a second, and instead appreciated that kid's ability to churn out some banter that you'd never heard before. Banter can certainly be fun if we allow ourselves to drop our guards, and just play along with it. Of course there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, and that can end up being the time that kids are better educated on what they really shouldn't be saying to other members of society.

You don't want to end up growing up to be one of those adults with a nasty head on their shoulders, a misplaced moral compass, and a daunting inability to treat those around you with a sliver of respect. As with all matters of life, there's a strange balance to these things. We love a good roast or creative insult here. Especially when you get the ruthless silver tongued wordsmiths in the comments section that are ready to stir up all kinds of trouble. The YouTube comments section is really its own kind of comedy goldmine. You've got to love the internet for what it provides there. It can be this playground of sorts where everyone goes to work at trying out their most absurd insults. You just don't want to take things too far. Sometimes, you can get lost in the fun of a back and forth with another online user and end up saying something that you ultimately come to regret. But anyways, all ramblings about the wild realm of online banter aside, these kids certainly brought their A game for when it came to surprising folks around them with unexpected words of sheer ruthlessness. If anything, we'd have loved to been able to read more about the fallout from some of the more piercing insults. It really just boils down to whoever ends up receiving that insult. It'd sure be nice if everyone in the world had a great sense of humor, but thus is not always the case.

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Font - 1 Award I recently was working with a kid and another teacher, and the kid turned to the other teacher and said (about me) "she probably listens to 'all by myself' at night". A G G Reply 4 212 ...

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Font - Abra_ka_da_bra · 17h A kid said I look like a raw salad. Wtf he meant, how can a salad not be raw, why did he need to say "raw salad" and not just salad? G Reply 148 ...

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Font - UlaireOtsea • 16h Singing a lullaby to my daughter and she popped her pacifier out of her mouth and shoved it in mine. Yes, I'm a terrible singer... G Reply 129 ...

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Rectangle - Billbapawpaw • 19h 1 Award When is your baby due? I'm very obviously a dude G Reply 230 3 ...

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Organism - purple_explosion • 18h I teach elementary Special Needs, and one of my students was angry with me, and yelled at me to "Go to lunch!". My lunch break is really the only time I actually leave the classroom, so I know that was her way of telling me to get lost... It made me laugh so hard internally. Probably externally, too. G Reply 118 ...

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Organism - 1992_City_Champs · 15h I did my student teaching placement with 6th graders. We were doing something and the principal stuck his head in to say hi. He did the whole dad joke "don't let any of these guys scare you away from teaching". Without missing the beat, some kid said, "yeah, let the paycheck do it." G Reply 1 99 3 ...

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Font - humanperson1989 · 19h What boring thing are we going to do today, teacher? G Reply 92 + ...

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Font - TheAbyssAlsoGazes • 18h I was jogging around my neighborhood. Out of shape and out of breath near the end of my run. Three little girls were standing on their stoop watching me lurch past. I saw them giggling as I approached. Then in unison they started chanting "Fart face! Fart face! You're a farty fart face!" They didn't stop til I was out of sight. It hurt cause I am a bit of a fart face but I didn't realize random children could instantly tell. G Reply 1 154 3 ...

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Rectangle - RedditRoxanne • 17h "Hmmm now where should I put this?" - two year old neighbor after trying a bite of a brownie that I baked. She placed it in the strawberry garden. G Reply 4 54 3 ...

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Font - riccketts • 18h My 5 year old brother plays roblox 24/7, He called me a bacon haired noob. 6 Reply 45 ...

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Font - brerosie33 · 17h I have large lips. My cousin Mollie was three. " Hey brerosie, why did God make your lips like a fishy?" Reply 1 46 ...

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Font - WhitestTrash1 • 17h My 5 year old said I smelled like salad the other day. I'm 90% sure it was an insult. G Reply 1 38 ...

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Organism - Instar5 • 18h My niece went through a phase where she thought all women were pregnant, including grandma in her 70's and herself (at 3 or 4 years old). I think it was because her mom was pregnant twice after her and it was confusing. I'm glad I was there to let her know that not all women were running around constantly pregnant. Reply 4 38 ...

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Font - natacon • 16h My son (5 at the time) called me a dumb antique after I pretended to not understand a joke he had told me. It stung but I was quietly proud of him. G Reply 1 32 3 ...

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Font - one called me a flying banana. Reply 25 5 ...

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Font - boyvsfood2 · 18h Man, my old boss got me a shirt that says, "With great beard comes great responsibility". The beard on the shirt looked like my beard, albeit a little bit longer. My nephew was like 7 or 8 and was staying the weekend with us. He saw the shirt and with all due sincerity asked, "Are you gonna have a beard like that one day?" I was crushed. G Reply 46 3 ...

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Font - hand_truck • 14h My four year old daughter, "Daddy, I can do something you can't do." "What's that, honey?" "Brush my hair." You guessed it, I'm bald. G Reply 4 17 3 •..

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Font - uselessgooseless · 12h My mate's 2 year old was looking at my driver's licence photo (taken about 8 years prior). Me: That's me in the picture! 2YO: What happened? Brutal. G Reply ...

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