Thursday, December 24, 2020

Guy Shares Hilarious Story About His Skyrim Adventures


This guy's story about his adventures on Skyrim and especially in regards to an infuriatingly loyal doggo, end up perfectly capturing the experience of playing Skyrim. It's a tale as old as time, and we're always going to be a fan of it! 

1.

Text - Patrick Lenton @PatrickLenton worst part of Skyrim was when I found that dog whose owner died in a cabin, and then I of course had to adopt the dog bc i'm not a monster 9:34 PM · 04 Apr 16 · TweetDeck 8,121 Retweets 24.9K Likes * Patrick Lent... O· 04 Apr 16 v Replying to @PatrickLenton @PatrickLenton and I fucking love this dog, but i'm wondering around trying to solve quests and save the world and junk, but this good dog 27 534 3,432

2.

Text - *** Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton this good dog always tries to help out fighting giants and dragons, and it's like 'NO DON'T HURT MY DOG' 27 570 3,792 5 Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton and i have to fight like 300% harder to save my dog from being eaten by a dragon and i've honestly never been so anxious 27 583 3 4,236 *Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton so then I find out that I can build a homestead and my dog can live there, so the next four day

3.

Text - *** Patrick Lent... O 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton while bandits and dragons still attack my dog while i'm bloody mining ore and building a goddamn solarium for my pooch 27 477 3 3,594 *** Patrick Lent.. O 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton and then the dog won't stay in the house, and I discover I have to adopt a child first, and the child has to like my dog 27 478 3,323 *** Patrick Lent.. O· 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton so i go to an orphanage, to discover they are being mistreated by an evil woman

4.

Text - * Patrick Lent... O· 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton but then I can't adopt a child any more because they are free! So I wander Skyrim looking for a parent-free child somewhere 27 463 3 3,238 Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton and I don't even like children 27 465 3,404 Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton and then finally I find some girl begging in Whiterun, and she's all like 'thanks Mum!' ( play a lady cat-wizard) 27 447 3,373 Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLen

5.

Text - * Patrick Lent... O· 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton SO I DECIDE TO BUILD A NEW HOUSE, ON A FUCKING LAKE BECAUSE I FIGURE IT WILL BE A GOOD PLACE TO RAISE CHILDREN OR WHATEVER 27 461 3,506 ** * Patrick Lent... O ·04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton BUT FIRST I HAVE TO BECOME A THANE OF FALKREATH AND DO ALL THESE QUESTS TO HELP PEOPLE BEFORE THEY GIVE ME A PLOT OF LAND 27 447 3,465 ** * Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton and my dog is STILL following me around STILL nearly dying in every fight

6.

Text - ** *Patrick Lent... O · @PatrickLenton anyway, then I meet another goddamn dog on the road, but it's a fucking demon dog, and it comes 04 Apr 16 v with me too 27 448 3,105 *** Patrick Lent.. O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton and it's like - months have passed by in the game, the world is being invaded by dragons, and I'm just focused on real estate 27 687 5,147 ** * Patrick Lent... O ·04 Apr 16 ▼ @PatrickLenton finally i build my new lakefront house, and go find my daughter (who has been liv

7.

Text - *** Patrick Lent.. O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton it's like - LITERALLY, beggars can't be choosers, but bc i didn't make a nice bed for her, she sleeps on a bench in Whiterun 27 446 3,424 ** * Patrick Lent... O · @PatrickLenton and she moves in to my house, which is right next to a cave of wolves and a necromancers 04 Apr 16 v summoning circle, but whatev 27 448 3,333 1 *** · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton and I walk into the house, with my goddamn dog, waiting for her to adopt my dog so I ca

8.

Font - ** * Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton and she's ADOPTED A FUCKING RAT 27 523 4,155

9.

Text - * Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton THERE IS THIS GORGEOUS, BRAVE DOG WHO JUST WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN IN FRONT OF A HEARTH 27 453 3,545 *** Patrick Lent.. O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton AND SHE'S FLOUNCING AROUND WITH A GIANT RAT 27 469 3,465 * Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton in the meantime, I get married to a lady named Mjoll the Lioness, bc she's hot to trot and will be a good lesbian mother 27 474 3 3,650 Patrick Lent.. O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton and weirdly,

10.

Text - Patrick Lent... O· 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton and it's like - do we have a polyamorous relationship and are raising our homeless daughter and her rat? bc that's cool 27 627 4,637 ** Patrick Lent... @PatrickLenton so I'm like 'i'll go and find a brother for my new daughter' and he can adopt the dog. Hopefully. O · 04 Apr 16 ▼ 27 404 2,830 Patrick Lent... O· 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton and it works out - the boy wants my dog, my dog likes the boy, everything is fine, the dog has been successfu

11.

Text - Patrick Lent... O 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton although I then discover that Mjoll's "friend" Aerin keeps yelling 'stupid dog' at my gorgeous dog. 27 451 3,597 Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton so I waited until he was outside and I try to make him fuck off back to his OWN HOUSE 27 427 2,930 * Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 ▼ @PatrickLenton my theory was that I could shout him into the lake? anyway, I misjudged and shouted him into the necromancer circle 27 508 3,576 3

12.

Font - Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 @PatrickLenton and he died 27 450 3,403 3

13.

Text - ** * Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton and my wife saw me kill him, and attacked me, and I didn't want to kill her, so i ran away 27 449 3 3,140 * Patrick Lent... O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton so I just never went back to my house, but even though I destroyed my marriage and killed a man 27 625 4,385 Patrick Lent.. O · 04 Apr 16 v @PatrickLenton i know that my dog is safe. THE END. THANK YOU 27 1,044 203 13.5K

Submitted by:

Posted by at
Labels:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)