Thursday, July 16, 2020

Comedy Gold From Jurassic Park's Twitter Account


@JurassicPark2go might be our new favorite Twitter account. They put fun, modern, absurd spins on the Jurassic Park universe with hilarious tweets. For instance, the dinosaurs have unionized. They've also acquired a case of Four Loko. Can't even begin to imagine what kind of turmoil would ensue from that kind of development. A saucy, over-caffeinated dinosaur sounds like a recipe for destruction. 

1.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK e he We have decided to cancel today's dinosaur talent show after every single dinosaur wrote down "unthinkable chaos" as their talent

2.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK e the many guests are asking if dinosaurs are "different from dragons". we hear you and we are looking into it

3.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK we also have a pretty cool bug exhibit not that any of you care

4.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK running a little late today, so feel free to let yourself in. the passcode to the big gate is 565634 6:17 AM · 7/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone 924 Retweets and comments 13.3K Likes Jurassic Park Updates @Juras... · 4d v JURASIC PARK Replying to @JurassicPark2go sorry that's the passcode to the t rex cage. the passcode to the big gate is 565635 ♡ 12 27 113 3,357 Jurassic Park Updates @Jurass... · 4d v be there in about an hour. forget you s

5.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK the screaming is fine we just checked it out it was nothing

6.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK if anyone sees a dinosaur in like a random place let us know haha

7.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK the triceratops got killed so we have a temporary st. bernard

8.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK hey is anyone a lawyer haha

9.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK Hi thid is velocrsptpr. I lenaring ti tipe Nd spell

10.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK if you lost a loved one to a winged dinosaur today they have an unfair advantage so we'll give you a free admission tomorrow. if you lost someone to a dinosaur on legs sorry but we have legs too

11.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK a karen is here and she is demanding to speak to our manager we are going to tell her our manager is the t. rex haha

12.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK we just found out the t rex lived during the cretaceous period and not the jurassic period so now we have to shoot the t rex and Bill (the guy who made our logo)

13.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK Please do not try to befriend the velociraptors. Emotionally they take much more than they give

14.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK wow a dinosaur just tried to eat me. guests i can understand but staff should be off limits

15.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK warning: the velociraptors have acquired a case of four loko

16.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK due to backlash from several organizations, we are no longer trying to engineer a dinosaur with magnificent breasts

17.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK Should we get a mummy

18.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK "RAWR" does NOT mean "I love you" in dinosaur. They will take it as a threat XD

19.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK We mostly tweet about the velociraptors and the t rex because we don't know what the other ones are called

20.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK In a sense none of our Dinosaurs have ever "escaped" because society itself is just another, larger cage. fuck yeah that sounds so smart 7:11 PM · 7/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone 1,985 Retweets and comments 15.4K Likes Jurassic Park Updates @Juras.. · 12h v JURASIK PARK Replying to @JurassicPark2go but yeah like eighteen to nineteen dinosaurs are currently loose Q 33 27 434 7,016

21.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK accidents happen all the time chill out

22.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK There's a section of the park where we keep all the hot dinosaurs. We have a spinosaurus over there that is fine af and a parasaurolophus that can get it 11:59 AM · 7/14/20 · Twitter for iPhone 603 Retweets and comments 5,815 Likes

23.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK the dinosaurs have unionized

24.

Text - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK all the dinosaurs periods are finally synced up which is so so special <3 11:42 AM · 7/15/20 · Twitter for iPhone 449 Retweets and comments 6,083 Likes Jurassic Park Updates @Jurass... · 4h v JURASK PARK Replying to @JurassicPark2go a lot of people saying dinosaurs "lay eggs" so they don't have periods. ok ummm then explain all the blood everywhere 15 27299 4,485

25.

Font - Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go JURASSIC PARK "Dinosaur" comes from the Greek word "dinosaur" meaning "dinosaur"

Submitted by:

No comments:

Post a Comment