Monday, May 18, 2020

Neighbor Hammers Nails Into Family's Fence, Family Redecorates Neighbor's Garden


We've always loved a good tale of neighbor revenge. This one right here is nothing short of being nuclear in nature. Sounds like the one neighbor was all kinds of rude and insensitive, really just channeling that "inner Karen." Well, the family was having none of it, and ultimately decided to enact their revenge when the neighbor was out of town. That revenge looked like a malicious redecorating of the neighbor's garden. They went so far as to plant a ton of high pollen weed, poison ivy, and poison oak. We can only imagine what the epic tantrum must've looked like. 

1.

Text - r/NuclearRevenge + Join u/RavensArts • 277d 1 S 1 Drive Long Sharp Nails Into My Fence? Kill My Vine? Enjoy The Weeds My Siblings With! Not sure if this counts as Nuclear, but was told to post here, so here goes. TL;DR: at bottom This happened in the summer of 1974, when I was 4 yrs old.

2.

Text - When I was a kid, we had a next door neighbor who was a total Megabitch. Megabitch was a 40 something woman who liked high heels (mules), big jewelry, lots of makeup and wore long, flowy Caftans in garish colors that did NOT flatter her. She had a big perm (remember. It's the 70s), a HUGE ass and was notorious in our neighborhood for being an entitled twat. Her favorite thing was to go onto neighbors landings - either early in the morning or late at night - and steal decorations and potte

3.

Text - One day one of my sisters got badly sliced by a long nail when she went to pick flowers off the passion flower vine on the fence (important later). Turned out Megabitch had hammered dozens of long nails into OUR fence so she could hang potted plants she'd most likely stolen! The leaves on the vine had hidden them, until my sister got sliced (She had to get a tetanus shot, which made her sick all day). Mom, was, pissed, so she went out and actually spent the rest of the day hammering each

4.

Text - She goes out and asked, 'WTF are you doing?' Guy tells her he was a gardener and had been hired to get rid of the vine on the fence. Mom asked him who had hired him to do this. 'The owner of the fence' he told her and gestured to Megabitches house. Mom told him (calmly, since none of this was his fault) that it WASN'T Megabitches fence and SHE was the owner. The poor guy was horrified. However, the damage was done. He'd already cut into the hardwood and roots and now our vine was dead.

5.

Text - After the poor guy left (Megabitch stiffed him, we found out later) mom went to Megabitches house and confronted her. That Bitch didn't even deny it - just laughed in my mom's face and said, 'I DID IT, SO WHAT? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!' then sauntered back into her house.

6.

Text - She'd just messed with the WRONG family. Two days later, Megabitch went on a 2 week vacation with her husband (an asshole), to Cabo. Revenge Time. The day she left, my older sibling's - along with a family friend - decided Megabitch's back garden needed 'Improvements'. So they climmbed the fence, went into her garden, dug up all the pretty flowers and small trees, carted them out (along with the Stolen decorations) and replaced them with high pollen weeds, quick growing ivy and lots and l

7.

Text - We then temporarily moved our 3 dogs into our back yard (neighbor was afraid of them despite the fact they were 2 Pomeranians and a small mutt). We also had a 9ft fence, which was too high for her or her husbands fat asses to climb, so we knew our garden would be safe from her. My family excitedly waited. When megabitch got back and saw her 'New and Improved' garden, she threw the biggest, most epic tantrum and meltdown we'd ever seen. It. Was. Spectacular! A whole class of sugared up, pi

8.

Text - From the top of the fence, we all watched (Dad took the day off to see the FREAK OUT, as he pit it) as Megabitch screamed and ranted. Pulled her hair. Kicked the weeds and threw anything she could get her hands on, all the while cussing and screeching like she was getting a Chili Powder Enema! Then she spotted all of us watching her.

9.

Text - She yelled and cursed at all us (laughing) kids, comming to the (correct) conclusion we had done this to her Precious Garden. By this time all the surrounding neighbors were also watching, but she of course zeroed in on us. Megabitch then stormed over to our house and banged on our door until Mom opened the door (dad let her deal with it, as he was still laughing his ass off). Megabitch then DEMANDED my family to not only pull all those UGLY plants out, and to (of course) pay for new ones

10.

Text - Our mom just looked at her, yawned, told her she had ZERO proof it was HER kids who'd done it (Mom knew. Even sat and watched with me as my siblings did it, laughing the whole time. I think at one point my DAD even helped!). Mom then reminded her she had STOLEN dozens of plants from the neighbors, had been caught blatantly stealing from their front gardens, yet was SURPRISED that SOMEONE had retaliated? Mom laughed, told her to fuck off and went back inside.

11.

Text - She ranted at us thru the door for about an hour, til her voice (blessedly) gave out, then stomped back to her house. She avoided us from then on and would give a death glare to my mom whoever she saw her. Mom would just smile, give her the finger, and go about her business (she was intimidated by my dad and wouldn't do anything when he was around, but dad worked a lot, so wasn't there most of the time). We donated most of the dug up plants to neighbors she'd stolen from and returned the

12.

Text - Megabitch never did get rid of all the weeds and didn't realize it was poison oak she was pulling (bare handed!), until she (and her husband) got horrible rashes over 1/3 of their bodies and - I was told - in some very Unfortunate places. *Edit: Some people have been asking why my mom didn't use Megabitches words - 'I DID IT, SO WHAT! ITS NOT LIKE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!' - then slam the door in her face. She thought about saying that, but she was smart enough to A) Never admit to a

13.

Text - B) by not admitting to anything made Megabitch much more subdued and paranoid (on the off chance it actually Wasn't us) and made her more leary of all her neighbors. Made life in the neighborhood better in the long term, since from then on, no plants or decorations were ever stolen again. TL;DR: Asshole neighbor hammers huge sharp nails into it fence, injures my sister then kills our passion flower vine. So my siblings pull out ALL her flowers and replace them with weeds - including poiso

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