Friday, April 17, 2020

Twitter Thread: Opening A Wildly Corroded Can Of Chef Boyardee


Twitter user @DinosaurDracula left people with their jaws on the floor after opening a wildly corroded can of Chef Boyardee from 1995. The monstrous contents that resulted from the grand reveal did not disappoint. Well, didn't disappoint in that they're just about as cursed as cursed food comes.

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Text - Wizards Podcast @WizardsComics Replying to @DinosaurDracula Watch out, "it's practically radioactive"! SO HOT It's Practically Radioactivel Chef BOYARDEE New Spider-Man Pasta PRESENTS COMICS PRIDERMAN Get your spidey taste buds tingling with new Spider-Man Pasta from Chef Boyardee. Totally webbed out Spider-Man pasta shapes smothered in secret sauce. It's the hottest lunch going. PASTA WITH MEATBALLS IN TOMATO SAUCE Chef BOYÁRDEE THANK GOODNESS FOR CHEF BOYARDEE.

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Food - Dinosaur Dracula Opening a wildly corroded can of Spider-Man Pasta from 1995: a thread. (1/5) @DinosaurDracula New! Chef BOYARDEE PRESENTS MCS PIDER MAN NTA SHAPES ATBALLS OMATO

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Metal - Dinosaur Dracula @DinosaurDracula I put the can opener to work, unsettled by the rust, but emboldened by the lack of noxious fumes. I turn the knob and wince, unable to rule out the possibility that the contents have mutated into something alive & malevolent. (2/5) hola

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Soil - Dinosaur Dracula @DinosaurDracula They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, but there's nothing funny about 15 ounces of Spider-Man Pasta reduced to a rotted 3-ounce chunk. Recalling the fate of Jordy Verrill in Creepshow, I'm thankful for my rubber gloves. (3/5)

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Chocolate brownie - Dinosaur Dracula @DinosaurDracula I carefully remove the mass, which looks like a cross between Big Thunder Mountain and one of those Geonosian hives from Attack of the Clones. (4/5) SPIVAM

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Food - Dinosaur Dracula @DinosaurDracula I think I notice something, but consult the label on the can to be sure. Indeed, there's poor Spider-Man, trapped in this godforsaken toxic monstrosity. I'm sorry, Peter. With old pasta comes great instability. Thank you all for taking this journey with me. (5/5) MARVELM COMICS CTURE ALLHREE EXCIT SPIDER-MANTM Marvel Comics, Spier-man: TM SPI QOKING IRECTION Stov Ton Stir occasionally until hot. Microwave: Empty contents Cover. Microwave on HIGH 3 during

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