Friday, April 10, 2020

Tinder Gems From The Silly World Of Swipes


Ah, yes, more fine examples of people on Tinder trying out the very best, worst, and totally random of their pickup lines, and small talk. Tinder seems to often be a home for all the stuff that people wouldn't dare say to each other in real life. Sometimes, folks actually end up getting somewhere. Like that one dude who talked in only GIFS, and ended up getting a girl's number. Wild. 

1.

Facial expression - IMy Bill, 69 O Handy Man A Lives in Mount WASHING ☺ less than a mile away I'm a single atractive man looking for a woman to cook me supper. I ain't got time for no games because I work and only have time for hanky panky ok. The woman I chose must be fisically fit too, because I am pretty much a clidesdale ok. I don't want kids so don't be asking me to make you a baby Karen. Macironi and cheese is my favorite food but not Kraft ok. Thanks. I have a Lebaron and Hall and Oats ma

2.

Text - No Service ? 3:57 PM @ 1 4% Katie YOU MATCHED WITH KATIE ON 11/27/19 Hello Hello madam You look pretty cute I beseech thee, prithee ye not be a charlatan What? Holy shit you're not a bot Imaooo Lmao I am shooketh Sent

3.

Text - Today What's up Olivia? The stars Wow you seem to know a lot about space Read I wish lol P Report Let me see Uranus

4.

Text - When you used to play League of Legends and you also don't know how to flirt Josh You matched with Josh on 4/8/2020 Top or bottom? 4/10/2020 9:19 AM middle sometimes jungle Sent

5.

Text - Lily 19 e University of Houston O 9 493 kilometres away Yeah I'm DTF D- Down T- To F- Finally be in a relationship with someone that understands how many dogs I need around me at all times and supports my dreams •Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? He's alright now •My momma said that if he doesn't like my fruit jokes to let that mango

6.

Text - l AT&T ? 3:44 AM 1 0 * 72% YOU MATCHED WITH EN 1/17/20 I have train facts tell me your dirtiest train fact In 1825, there was a guy so thicc, he literally caused a steam locomotive to explode using only his ass im impressed The locomotive's name was Best Friend of Charleston, and the thicc man was the fireman, the man in charge of keeping the fire burning. He got annoyed by the sound of the safety valve so... he sat on it. And then the train exploded. wait i just fact checked it and youre

7.

Text - Messages About 16 mins ago So I'm writing a book right now 16 mins ago About? 15 mins ago Well it's a phone book. And it's missing your number 15 mins ago 205 5 minag 205 4 mins go One of those is mine. One is my dads. Good luck. 4 mins ago Send a message

8.

Text - YOU MATCHED WITH OON 2/28/19 How much does a polar bear weigh? Yesterday 9:55 AM Enough to break the ice You'd think that but no, polar bears live on ice, that'd be pretty fucking dumb if they fell through it all the time.

9.

Text - Today 12:15 AM Height ? There's a height restriction to ride this ride Today 5:06 AM Surely you must know that you're nowhere near attractive enough to make those demands. Right? Sent GIF Type a message...

10.

Text - Tinder is for rookies...jump on marketplace and search for wedding dresses...it will present you with a list of recently divorced females in your area...and you can filter by size 33 4h Haha Reply

11.

Photography - Dr pru $0.99 Justine 21 o I'm not hot enough to be a bot

12.

Text - What's your major? Today 7:49 PM How bout a more unique question.. Which vegetable gives you the most anxiety Today 8:26 PM Kiwis! Bad experience w one as a kid That's a fucking fruit Sent

13.

Text - DU MATCHEDE MED D. 30/12/2018 Are you a bot or real? You're almost too pretty Sendt Would a bot send you that

14.

Text - Today 01:27 Hey, we should sext I'll start *takes off Crocs* Today 10:53 Why would you take them off *slowly puts Crocs back on* That's right daddy Sent

15.

Text - Kate Monday 18:05 Kate! That's a pretty name. It's the name l'd want to give to one of my twin daughters :) Monday 18:21 what do you want to name the other daughter? Today 06:50 Duplikate Sent

16.

Text - Sofie Quinta-Feira 21:12 Hej Sofie, your smile is contagious haha. So, did you match with me for the exclusive Pokemon facts, or for the Portuguese drink tasting? Sábado 00:31 Haha def for the Pokemons! Sábado 13:22 Did you know that Ditto is a failed clone of Mew? Hoje 09:41 I know, I was speechless for days too when I found out Enviado

17.

Text - Wednesday 1:07 AM I love your smile Today 6:56 PM Thanks! Took me a long time to collect all these teeth Creepy lol Oh shit! OMG yeah, I didn't mean that to be creepy I just meant it took a long time to find a bunch of homeless people with matching teeth Sen

18.

Text - Thursday 11:02 PM Hey, so l'm a pretty upfront person, since l've been through a lot of shitty relationships lol! Anyways do you believe in Jesus? Are you willing to wait for marriage? Do you have a car and a job? And if we make it this far, are you willing to pick me up,& pay on the first date? Today 5:52 AM l'd quit using that as your opener tbh. Instead try, "Hi, I have red flags. Date me" lol. Sent GIF Type a message... II

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