Friday, October 23, 2020

Clever Comebacks That Deserve Gold Stars


Uh oh, we're back at it again with a fresh round of spicy, clever comebacks that just nailed it. As long as the world's had social media, we've had people butting heads online over the most trivial of matters. Well, there are the trivial matters, and then there are the careless, impossibly foolish human beings of the world that really had it coming all along. 

1.

Facial hair - John 'take your care' Fury @joshuaS 10 Stay retired Paul you're a better commentator than fighter Paul Felder O @felderpaul Does it make you feel good saying that? Now would you say that to my face man to man? John 'take your care' Fury @joshuaS 10 Nope you'd kick my ass that's why I said it on twitter Paul Felder o @felderpaul Fair enough

2.

Rock - PICK ONE ONE edge piece center piece angelamerkel I'm sorry that nobody in your family can bake yeezyslides my moms a private chef and im in culinary training dont roast us like this angelamerkel im sorry that your mom went to culinary school and still can't bake :(

3.

Text - 4 days ago Hey jackass, we use MPH in this country. 1^| v 12 Reply 3 days ago Wheels is an Australian magazine, we use metric measurements. 12 |v Reply 16 hours ago You're on the internet, which is American. Therefore you can use American (the best) measurements. ^| v6 Reply 3 hours ago Actually, the world wide web was first developed in CERN. I don't blame you for not knowing that, you're apparently an American.

4.

Text - Eliza @eliza_rainyday Swearing is so unattractive Seth Rogen @Sethrogen I'm already unattractive so mind your fucking business

5.

Text - Sonic the Hedgehog @sonic_hedgehog 3h Two men. Two mustaches. The #Movember battle has begun! @NintendoAmerica UULUEIN NIITUJ FNUMUTIUINS PRESENTS THE STACHE CLASH IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THE TRUE RIVALRY 17 2,132 3,073 Nintendo of America @NintendoAmerica 2h .@sonic_hedgehog Shave yourself the embarrassment, Eggman. Maybe spend time grooming that 'stache instead of capturing woodland creatures. 17 2,213 3,630 Sonic the Hedgehog @sonic_hedgehog 2h .@NintendoAmerica We're so proud of you right

6.

Text - Replying to @PlayStation That seals the deal. I am no longer a PlayStation fan. This console is a pure and utter embarrassment to PlayStation fans. I officially will not be buying the next gen console. I'm going to Xbox where they know how to make consoles great. 9:43 pm · 18 Oct 20 · Twitter for iPhone 5 Retweets 11 Quote Tweets 298 Likes 27 12h Replying to @PlayStation and This isn't an airport you don't need to announce your departure we don't care 20 27 56 1,794

7.

Text - Bryan @BryanBrigggz · 47m When the girl you invited over is so bored by @netflix's shitty film selection that she decides to leave Netflix US O @netflix Replying to @BryanBrigggz and @netflix Maybe because you were actually trying to watch a movie Bryan

8.

Text - MoonPie O @MoonPie · Dec 15 Moon Pie Yep 27 82 1.3K Kaela Thompson @KaelaDianne97 · Dec 15 They should call you MoonBye because nobody likes you 14 27 167 262 Moon Pie MoonPie @MoonPie Following Replying to @KaelaDianne97 They should call you Kayla because that's how it's supposed to be spelled

9.

Photo caption - It must kind of stink that you can't run three times. You know, if I ran a third time, it'd sort of be like doing a third "Hangover" movie. Didn't really work out very well, did it?

10.

Text - Boomers: Why are there holes in your jeans? You rip those yourself? Gen Z: Why are there holes in the ozone? You rip those yourself? Millennials:

11.

Text - 11 minutes ago Removing a shitload of people off facebook because they cannot spell for shit. So if you aren't my friend in the next half and hour, it's most likely because your FUCKING annoying. Like · Comment 6 4 people like this. *you're Just now Like · Edit

12.

Text - yes, i'm 5'9. @SmdSzn men fall asleep so quick bro what's the secret Jimmy Kudo @JumpShiveSlim13 We don't create fake scenarios in our heads that keep us up all night.

13.

Hair - Kylie Jenner is the Ariel we all deserved Bill Nye O @BillNye @therecoveringproblemchild There's already enough plastic in the осean

14.

Photograph - They think your haircuts are un-American Well, it was very observant of them because we aren't American, actually

15.

Batman - Uncle Fabian * @Uncle_Fabian Who wins this Fight and why? ONE:12 DC MEZO •naa shidaa. @shidaazzlesthem You're literally putting the god of thunder against a guy with a sore throat in a Halloween costume

16.

Text - Mzilikazi wa Afrika @larmMzilikazi "The youth can walk faster but the elders know the road." ~ African Proverb Chairman AW @AffiSupaStar The Youth have Google Maps

17.

Text - wittyidiot @stephenszczerba Kinda feel bad for attractive people who are now having to communicate with their words for the first time and realizing they don't have a personality graysonsnell I feel attacked 19h 49 likes Reply wittyidiot @graysonsnell you shouldn't 19h 506 likes Reply

18.

Cartoon - nobody told you to bring that heavy backpack and nobody told you to bring that nasty attitude either, but I'm stuck with both solovalker MY BOIII JAMES

19.

Cat - I recently took the Mensa Norway IQ test and scored a 143. I'm 14 years old, does this mean I'm a genius? Z Answer a Follow 1 8 Request 000 Stan Hayward, former Film/TV scriptwriter Answered Jun 6 The Norwegian IQ test is used for animals the results of your test mean that you have the mentality of this cat

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