Saturday, August 15, 2020

Really Bad Life Pro Tips to Not Do


Sure, there's a lot of great advice out there in the form of life pro tips. But don't be fooled by all the comically bad life pro tips with zero shame.  We don't support the use of these tips, be they illegal, completely wrong or just ridiculously stupid. That said if you can't tell the difference between these and actual good advice, there may not be much hope for you.

1.

Text - cowboy hehe @tysonerickson_ Being vegan has been so fucking easy, I literally just stare at the sun and I'm full. Thanks photosynthesis 4:49 pm · 12 Jun 18

2.

Text - jef @gothJudyHopps oh that's your girl?? Imaooo then why did she just give me her number and insurance information after i hit her car in the parking lot of applebee's

3.

Text - B'casso @_lifeonthemoon 1. Copy the WHOLE job description. Paste it at the end of your resume. 2. Change the letters to white so they blend w/ the page 3. Save as pdf so they can't go in and see what you did Now your name is lighting up on the recruiter's list cuz your resume got all the key words pauly! pauli! paulé! @Thmpsn Y'all got any tips on applying for jobs?

4.

Text - Any advice on introducing your new kitten to your husband after he specifically told you not to bring home a kitten? 9 S00 114 48 Comments O Like O Comment Put your husband in the bathroom and let them smell each other through the door

5.

Text - if you do these for 30 days you will be unrecognizable - sleep 8+ hours - drink 2L minimum of water a day (high pH if possible) - get sun daily - no sugar - read for 30 mins a day workout 3x/week - capture someone and cut their face off and sew it onto your face - meditate for 10 mins daily

6.

Text - bad boy @badboychadhoy my credit score is low but it's because I want to protect myself from identity theft. no one can take out a mortgage in my name if I can't even take out a mortgage in my name.

7.

Dish - O MACON Why I Season My Cutting Board, NOT My Steak 8M views · 6 months ago 176K 10K Share Download Save Marl Kalone 1 month ago I prefer to season my mouth, eat the steak raw, and then light myself on fire.

8.

Organism - Fill a pinata with goat intestines to teach kids about the brutal consequences of violence.

9.

Text - andrew O @AndrewChamings make parties more interesting by telling strangers "I want you to know thatI personally have no problem with you being here" >

10.

Font - THIS IS RUST ITS CAUSED BY OXYGEN AND CALLED OXIDATION WE BREATHE OXYGEN EVERYDAY. IF IT CAN DO THIS TO A CHAIN, JUST IMAGINE WHAT CAN IT DO TO YOUR LUNGS. SHARE TO HELP RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT THE DANGER OF OXYGEN.

11.

Windshield - • 3 years ago Im from Chicago. I spent 4 years in a Colombian prison, where I learned to speak Spanish to an advanced level. No choice. I live in Ukraine now. Can you recommend a crime that I can commit that would only give me maybe 2-3 years so I can become conversational in Russian? 107 1 目7 "Sometimes my genius is. it's almost frightening"

12.

Text - Justo @1JustoGG that's why i ride w/ peroxide in the car, you even tap my car in the slightest ima gargle that peroxide & get to foaming at the mouth & shaking like nobodies business C @1charvo· 1h Just got rear ended Imfao people really can't drive son

13.

Media - HOW TO VISIT PEOPLE IN THEIR DREAMS 939K views 1 year ago Comments 9K kanatunga कानातूंगा @Kanatunga · 1h Pretty much simple!! Borrow money and never return it <>

14.

Text - Natalie Larson @Natalie_Larson2 Shark week is actually the safest time to go to the beach because all the sharks are busy being on TV >

15.

Text - ld • O When my wife gets a little upset, I find that a well placed "calm down" delivered in an all-knowing gentle voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset.

16.

Text - £7 O brian essbe O Retweeted Mike Bianchi @Mike_Bianchi Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop. 01/01/2016, 00:50 2,200 RETWEETS 4,443 LIKES

17.

Text - r/AskReddit u/necessaryprudence · 5h · What is so stupid but it actually really works? eternalrefuge86 5h I drank creek water and got eight days off of work 415 Reply

18.

Fish - Pro Tip: when ice fishing, bring an action figure of yourself to exaggerate your catch.

19.

Food - Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. Don't like the taste? Add cocoa,butter,flour & bake for 30 minutes!

20.

Transport - Rule number 1: If you fuck up something, do it so bad everyone will wonder how that's even possible.

21.

Headphones - Are your headphones always falling out? Stick a thumb tack in it and pop those bad boys in!

22.

Carrot - Lick the ranch off the carrot to save yourself the carrot's calories on every bite

23.

Text - Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe Tinder is for rookies. Go to Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size.

24.

Text - hawk @hawktherapper if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points 4/20/14, 4:59 PM

25.

Text - BLING BLING BOY @chomikkkk got my own house at 17 ll T-Mobile 11:38 PM O 8% 3 M Mom iMessage Today 8:21 PM hey mom im going to live by myself Great Today 11:38 PM your bags are on the driveway Delivered

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